Should I date another aquarius?
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|I am a virgo female. Two of the three most devastating relationships of my life have been with aquarius's. The first one was my first serious boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. We dated for two months and everything was wonderful, we got along, had a good time, great discussions. Then one day, out of the blue, he told me that he'd spent the entire night thinking about our relationship and where it was heading and ultimately we didn't fit together. He broke up with me and never wanted to speak to me again. This took me more than a year to get over.|
My next relationship with an aquarius was two years later. In the interim I'd had an awful relationship with a gemeni (awful in the sense that we did not get along, fought all the time and hurt each other). I met this aquarius and we immediately hit it off; he was very interested in me. We dated for a couple of weeks and then had a long distance relationship for about two months. Long phone calls, emails, IM's, we were getting to know each other and getting along very well. We seemed to share values, goals, everything. Both of us agreed though, that we should take it slow. I was scheduled to return to his region in a couple of months and we'd date and take it from there. I get back to the region and we go out once and have a good time. Then he asks me out again, we go out, and he breaks up with me. Tells me that even though he's attracted to me and I'm better than he remembered and he really enjoys spending time with me, ultimately he doesn't think we match up philosophically, so it's better to end it now. Even though he'd said we would always be friends, after that day he never wanted to see/speak to me again. This was less devestating, since I'd gone through the drill once before, but it still hurt a lot.
Then I dated a virgo, which in comparison was so much easier than an Aquairus. Even after we broke up, we managed to stay good friends.
Now another aquarius is very interested in me. On the one hand he seems very cool and I would like to get to know him. On the other hand, I don't want to set myself up for another big hurt. The problem with me and aquarius's is that everything seems good, everything goes well, I'm feeling confident about the relationship and then BOOOM it's over. I never see it coming. How can I date someone when I'll never really feel confident that they're not going to come to me one day and break up with me. Both of my previous aquarius boyfriends broke up with me at the end of what had been (in my mind) a nice evening.
So should I date him and try to keep my heart reigned in. At some point in every relationship one has to make herself vulnerable. I find myself avoiding him (and other aquarian type guys) out of fear. This particular guy has been more persistant than the others, which is why my subtle avoidance isn't working as well. Is it fair to reject someone just because of their sign and because they remind me of ex-boyfriends who hurt me? The same things that attracted me to my exes are what attract me to this guy.
I guess the real problem with my previous aquarius relationships is that I have no idea what went wrong, so I never got closure. In a way, I haven't gotten over either of them, since my last memory of them was of their being great and then dissapearing. Before I dated the second aquarian I had this discussion with myself and ultimately decided that I should give the guy a chance. I see how that turned out.
What should I do?
|My Dear Atlantic fog Gimini" ] are 2 XZ worse then any Aq. |
Been there saw it.
|I have to agree with C-B, Gemini's suck most of all. Gemini males, that is, many of my close female friends are gemenis and they're fine. The most f---ed up men I know (with the exception of a few) are gemenis. I wouldn't even pose the question of dating another gemini, one was quite enough. |
That's where aquarius guys are different. I do pose the question and I do consider being involved again because as much as I was hurt, there was so much great stuff there as well. I guess the problem with aquarius's is they leave you wanting more. Gemini's just leave you running for your life.
I've never dated an aquarius, but just as anyone here will tell you, a man is more than his Zodiac sign. One Aquarian will be different from the next, and so on.
I've found that when dating someone new, there a lot of things to consider, but when I focus on being their friend first, take things very slowly, and TRY not to bring the baggage of past relationships to the new one -- I have had the most success (from beginning to end).
I don't think guarding your heart will save you. If you fall in love/out of love --- let it happen... such is life. Just take your time, and keep your eye open for red flags. Also, I want pass along advice I've received on this forum-- "Be yourself".
OK: Last note, if want to pick on some do's and don'ts for Aquarius men, I read this article, it's pretty neat:
The Aquarius man:
It is difficult to pin him down to a commitment. He is friends with the whole world, and falling in love is difficult for him. He is also secretive. He does not want to reveal his true feelings, though he delves deep into others' minds. He is a typical group person. Teamwork comes to him naturally. He does not favour one particular person and his love of people is impersonal. He bestows equal attention on all people.
He follows the watchword "change" with sanctity and he is game to trying something new, even if it creates controversy. He does not compromise on his principles, if the situation demands it.
One must Know the rules when dealing with Aquarius
What you should do:
* Be prepared to talk about anything, from the coup in Maui to the burnt dinner last night. The Aquarian has a wide variety of interests, and will want to talk about them all the time.
* Give your Aquarian little surprises. They will love it.
* Be prepared for emotional detachment, at least the first few times you meet.
* Learn to make a mind connection, before a physical one. Intellectual compatibility is important to an Aquarian.
* Appreciate the fact that your Aquarian is devoted to special causes.
What you should not do:
* Don't be too demanding. The Aquarian hates being bound by rules. Give some breathing space to the relationship.
* Don't expect your Aquarius to pop the question in the fifth date. The Aquarian thinks of the whole world as his friend.
* Don't expect the Aquarian to snap out of a reverie soon enough.
* Don't be too critical of the Aquarian dress sense.
* Don't try to change the Aquarian mind in a hurry. Give him some credit for his thinking.
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