Frustrated with Scorpio Man
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|It's only as 'maddening' as you allow it to be...|
With men - Objectives don't come up if they want someone/something bad enough. They are programmed to find a solution to things in life. If they want something/someone - they'll go around the world and back again. If they don't, they'll find any old excuse not to go around the corner.
Don't allow him to put you on ice.
|"This is MADDENING!"|
Bingo! And they love it that way. Bella could possibly be correct, unfortunately. When they are into you, there is usually no wondering what's going on as they come at you with full force. But, he could just be testing you as they do that too.
You are so right. It is a very fine line. Either you keep doing what you are doing or you just throw the towel in. Normally I don't advocate giving up, but with Scorps, you may be saving yourself a lot of heartache in the future.
I'm a pretty direct Aries, so this may not work for you. But, I would be very straight up with him. They appreciate honesty and a strong woman. I would say, look this is what I want and I need to know what you want. Not only just through words, but by actions. Otherwise, this situation may never change.
|I'm new into this dating thing, but I've noticed how things have def changed in the last 10 years...I was used to men initiating and pursuing interest...but now my friends and I have seen a total turnaround in that. Men expect you to call them and show them interest...|
This Scorpio thing is really serious...and everything I've read about them hits the nail on the head where he's concerned. This is actually normal for him!
How do I give him space and still let him know I'm there for him? It's a fine line! I feel like that's what I've been doing...hence, only initiating contact by phone or email every 2 weeks or so when I haven't heard from him...but he's not home now and because of finances doesn't have a cell phone. Funny thing is, he has called his guy friend once in the past couple of weeks (boyfriend of my friend who introduced us). This is MADDENING!
|"Frustrated with Scorpio Man"|
This seems to sum up the majority of experiences with Scorpio men. Whenever I see this topic or one like it, I think "here we go again!"
You most likely don't want my advice as I would just give up only cause it's easier
You will probably never be able to understand where he's coming from. The one thing I do agree with is what Confused Scorp said about something going wrong in his life is probably encompassing everything else. They are very private people so don't expect him to open up very quickly. I guess all you can do is give it time and give him space while still letting him know you are here for him.
Good luck lady...should be interesting (always is).
|Thanks guys. |
He is out of state now since he lost his job, so that's why we don't see each other much. That's why the lack of communication by phone/email is so horrible.
Confusedscorpio...what you said is exactly what I've been feeling about the situation, which is why part of my intuition has said to be more patient with him...However, the other part of my intuition is saying "F$ck this"! If a guy really likes you, then job nor shyness is going to keep him away! (two sides of my personality is the Gemini talking!)...
What's hard is knowing whether it's because this is his character or just the circumstances of what he's going through. I know that men are very different from women in the sense when their career is not straight that is a big blow to their ego. Knowing that he can be shy with women, makes me want to take the initiative to keep the contact going (even as just friends)...but at the same time, I don't want to put myself out there (I kinda have already!) and get my feelings hurt in the long run.
|Im a scorpio guy and I know that when one thing goes wrong in my life I get in the worst moods and don't feel like doing anything. But when I am in one of those moods and my friends make me go out with them or something, I have a really great time. That's probably why he's so seclusive when you're not with him, but when you are with him everything seems great. My advice is to try and spend more time with him in person when he's done with his training, and avoid those topics of conversation that could get him in a bad mood . With scorpio's its ok to be a little pushy, he might be frustrated at first but once you are actually with him he'll focus only on you|
|I may hear from him once every 2 weeks or so. Our conversations may last about 30 minutes at most. He always asks about me children (I have 2 small children, he has none – he hasn’t met my children). The last time we talked I told him that I really liked him, and I understood that he was going through a lot (he still didn’t have a job and was getting discouraged), but I wanted to be friends and see where this would go, however, I didn’t want to be the ‘girl he sees when he comes to town’…how did he feel? He actually said more than I bargained for…he said that he didn’t see us as a “friends with benefits” situation at all..he said he hated to talk on the phone or email, because you can’t gauge a person’s body language or meaning…but if we were going to have a long distance relationship, he would have to do better! (his words). He also said that in his hierarchy of needs, his career comes first and he recognized and appreciated how sweet and understanding I’d been about that as we’d been getting to know each other…well, that was a little over a month ago….and since then – I have heard from him 3 times. |
About 2 weeks ago, I talked to him, and he’d gotten a job and was going out of state for training, and said that he’d call me at the end of the week and he didn’t. I emailed him about a week ago and did not receive a response.
I don’t get the impression at all he’s a player…nor do my friends think he is – they are perplexed as well. His guy friend has known him for over 30 years and feels that I should not take this personally. When I’m with him, I feel like I’m 100% WITH HIM. But when he leaves, it’s next to nothing. I’m frustrated!
A lot of what I’ve read about Scorpios has hit the nail on the head as far as the communication issues, etc. But I don’t know what to do…I really really like him and could see him as a long-term. Other than the communication thing, he’s the best guy I’ve ever met in the way he treats me and respects me when we’re together…Part of me is saying it’s because of his job/financial situation and I should be more patient (while dating others of course!)…and part of me is saying this is just the way he is and I should run! I welcome any insight!
|This is my first time posting. |
I am a Gemini sun sign with a Virgo rising and Libra moon. Like a Gemini, I’m imaginative, tend to see all sides of an issue (good and bad trait), and I am definitely a good communicator. I am not fickle or superficial like Geminis are thought to be. I do see a lot of Virgo in myself; my sense of duty, logic and practicality.
I have fallen for a Scorpio. We met in January 2008 through mutual friends who are a couple. They warned me that he is very shy with talking to women and had just gone through a lengthy divorce (not volatile, but they hadn’t even lived together for 4 yrs). At the time we met, I was going through a divorce…I found him very attractive (those Scorpio eyes!) and we had good conversation. He was taking a new job and was going out of the country for several months. We went out as couples twice, but he didn’t ask for my number.
I asked my friend about him every once in a while over the course of a year. Early this year, he moved back to the same state. We met again at our mutual friends house. He’d just been laid off his job and was quite distraught about it. This time we exchanged numbers. I didn’t hear from him, so I called him after about a week. He met me at a coffee shop and we talked for over 2 hours (first time alone).
Chemistry was good. He said he was going to have to move back with his family (10 hours away) because he couldn’t afford to live here anymore. Over the next 4 weeks after that, we went out every weekend. He does not like the telephone…he would call me early in the week to ask me out and that was the gist of our conversation. But in person everything is wonderful: great communication, lots of things in common, connection is definitely there. The weekend he left town, we slept together and it was not sex – it was an EXPERIENCE!!! But…this is where the communication fell off even more…
I didn’t hear from him for several days after. I tried to be understanding and patient, because of the move and knowing he was disappointed about moving back home with his family. Still, I called him about a week later and he called me back (several times actually because I missed a couple of calls). He did apologize, said he was having a pity party, etc.
So since about April, I’ve seen him the 2 times he’s been able to travel here…We’ve talked about the communication thing and he’s said that he will do better, but he doesn’t. I may hear
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