How do I keep my bad gemini traits under control?
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|I'm a Gemini (June 8) and I have read a lot about Geminis and almost everything I have read describes me perfectly. I am a very typical Gem, You could say.|
I love being a Gemini, I think we are very unique people, but there are some things about us that bothers me and I would like to change in myself...
I hate how we fall in "love" (if you could really call that love...) so easily yet fall out of "love" even easier.
Now, let me explain my situation...
I have cheated on almost every boyfriend I have had in the past. I never made a big deal out of it because I always thought to myself "Well I'm young, it's not a serious relationship anyway. I'm just having fun and testing the waters".
The only problem is that I NEVER consider a relationship serious even if my boyfriends in the past have.
I always see relationships as temporary and I always keep an eye out for something better.
I know geminis get bored very easily and need constant change, but I really want to work on this.
I am currently in a relationship with a very nice guy and I really like and respect him (He's a leo). We get along great and there is so much chemistry there. I really do NOT want to hurt him. I want to stay faithful to him and I want to be fully committed to this relationship. I haven't cheated on him yet and I don't plan on doing so, but I still always think about other men and what it would be like to be in a different relationship. I STILL can't help but see this relationship as temporary. Know what I mean?
And to me its NOT just about the sex. Whenever I get interested in other men, I mostly get interested in them as people, not because I think they are attractive and want to treetrunk them. I can literally be in "love" with a few men at once. But its not REAL love! I don't want to think about other men because I only love my boyfriend. I want to STOP thinking about other men, stop flirting with other men, and stop seeing my current relationship as temporary, but I can't help it.
My boyfriend is a great guy and its not fair to him for me to be on the lookout for the "perfect man" when I am in a relationship with HIM and when NOBODY is perfect. Logically thinking, he is a great guy and a good match for me and I won't find someone better, but that doesn't stop me.
Its really difficult to explain my situation, but if you're a gemini i'm sure you'll somewhat understand.
So if you can relate, what do you do to keep this under control?
No mean responses, please.
|"No mean responses, please" LOL|
Simple, keep cheating and end up alone
try and work at it
|You poor thing. I too am a gemini and had to learn the hard way with the cheating thing. I too cheated all over the place. And there have been times where I have said to myself "Gee I really don't liek this part of me, I wonder how I can change it". But I learned that I don't really have ot change me I have to be more aware of other people and their feelings. SO being honest and upfront with peopel has helped. |
The only thing that stopped me from wandering and leaving everyone is realising that I was hurting people and it was NOT cool. I have learned to be upfront with how I am and what I want out of a relationship.
I have a husband now and have not been with anyone but him since 1999. Every now and then I come across men that I would love to seduce lol. And sometimes the temptation is really hard to control but I control it. I ask myself do I really want to ruin everything that I have?
I have a feeling you haven't found HIM yet and once you do you'll be faithful.
Unfortuneatly bouncing from one to the other is normal for us. Due to liking to be mentally stimulated. It's not that the previous person did anything wrong we get bored...it's hard to deal with for me.
Another thing that helps is my husband doesn't care how many men friends I have or where I go with them or how much I talk to them..so I am able to let my flirtiness out with out cheating...
|Also I am like you I can fall out of love faster and easier then I can fall in love. You know though maybe I was never in love with previous people to begin with..if it's that easy for me. |
It's very hard for other signs to understand us
|Oh and remember there is no perfect man. My sister once told me I was lie ka horse that no man could tame. All you can do is search for the one that most fits what your lookign for.|
|Thanks for tall the responses.|
Its really hard. Maybe you're right that my current boyfriend is not the "one" for me, but I really do like him. I have a lot of love and respect for him and it seems like he is the right guy for me. I mean, I have a lot of things in common with him (but just enough differences to keep things interesting), We can talk about anything and everything for hours and not get bored, We can do things that I would otherwise consider completely boring yet are fun when done in his company, We have a good sex life, He is good looking, He is supportive and respectful of me....what more can I ask for? I don't even know what else I want in a man, it seems like I have it all, but I still am not satisfied.
I just need change.
Or do you think even though all the things needed for a good relationship are there, there could be a certain "spark" missing?
I really don't know what to think, but I do want to change myself. Not only am I hurting others, but I am hurting myself too. Trust me, I don't do this intentionally, it really is not fun to be so undecided. Its a big headache for me and I just want to feel "normal".
I know its easy to say "don't cheat", but its not so much about physically cheating.... That's not the hard part. I want to change my mentality completely...That's hard.
Maybe "falling in love" takes time and I will eventually get over this all and be comfortable with my boyfriend and only my boyfriend.
Man, Why do geminis have to be so undecided and weird?
|I had to learn NOT to get into relationships... most of my dating would last at least 3 - 4 months... i had to date until i got past the infatuation and idea of whom ever i was dating. I found that if i waited before committing.. it only took a short amount of time to fall out of "love" and i didn't get into any trouble. If they lasted longer then 3 -4 months.. i knew it was something more and had no problem remaining committed because there was more genuine feelings. Since i was 23 i haven't cheated on a BOYFRIEND. i have only had 3 in the last 12 years. One was a husband of 7 years. you have to be aware of yourself and learn and understand yourself before you can truly committ to someone.. us gemini's have a harder time evolving i think because there are so many personalities intertwined in who we are. |
|"I don't even know what else I want in a man, it seems like I have it all, but I still am not satisfied."|
you will learn as you go through your trials and tribulations. Pay attention to your relationships and your break ups. LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION! When you see a flag... haul ass... we are so fickle... thats why we fall in and out. as you mature you will learn what you want and what you need.
You aren't satisfied because he isn't tapping into who and what you really are... we need mental stimulation... you most likely need a man that matches that. it's really hard to find... if you settle, you will never feel like you are satisfied. and in turn, you may always have to watch your Pee's and Que's so you don't hurt someone and cheat on them. Especially when you're a young gemini. As you mature.. you'll gain control over those impulses.
|If you are a Gen Yer then the universal atmosphere considering rel and sex might not be that diff from yours but if you are one of those typical Tinker Bell/Juliet Geminis then your types are heavy crushers "love at first sight" types, Starsky & Cox.|
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