Making a cancer man feel wanted, any suggestions?

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6/30/2007 4:52:39 PM | More
iluvmecancer

31 years old female

Ok sex has absolutely nothing to do with making my man feel wanted, that is not an issue in our relationship. I believe making him feel wanted is more on an emotional level, although I started this post asking the questions "how to make a cancer man feel wanted....? I realize what it is I should be doing, I have been with him for a year and a half now, so it's all coming to me on what to do with my cancerian man. Thank you to those who posted your advice and opinions.
6/30/2007 7:19:17 PM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

I don't want to get into arguments with ANYONE....but I have to say this - if a man wants YOU then he doesn't need to be "challenged" or have you prove that you are worth his time....if that's what he needs then he is only after the excitement of the chase - not YOU. A real man will see how special you are without you having to show/train him.........
6/30/2007 7:24:01 PM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

iluvmecancer - all you have to do is act interested in HIM....if he feels like he's just there because you need attention from SOMEONE then he does not feel special - being mushy doesn't show him that HE is special - but asking him about his day, his family, NOTICING little things like subtle shifts in his mood and asking him what's wrong [in a non-confrontational way, but just showing you care] will make him feel needed and wanted. And when YOU have a problem - don't necessarily COMPLAIN about it - but ask his opnion on what you should do, let him know you value his input.
Basically just show him you want HIM - not a man.... as if ANY man will do....
6/30/2007 8:03:23 PM | More
krobe03

Xangelfishx,
I wish U well and I wish U the best of luck with your methods. Esp a Cancer man.
6/30/2007 9:19:03 PM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

having "baggage" and faults doesn't mean you're not a wonderful person - and a REAL man will know that....men get away with these games because women let them - no one puts their foot down and says "if this is how you're going to act and make me act a certain way to get your attention then you're not worth my time".

it's not about fairytales - it's about taking control back and refusing to be forced to play games if you want to be liked - by ANYONE.

all this "I know what I'll do..." or "I'll act like this...." crap is just perpetuating this ridiculous cycle.
6/30/2007 11:48:25 PM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

I understand what you're saying Katica - but the key is making changes to better yourself - NOT trying to act the way you think will get you the guy. If your behaviors are harmful to yourself or others [not necessarily in a really bad way, but just in a limiting way] then yes, you need to evalutae and make changes, but if there's nothing wrong with you then why hide who you are ? It will always come out in the end. - take lilladytaurus for example - she's trying to be someone she's not to impress a guy who doesn't like her the way she is - how about finding a guy you are happy with who is happy with YOU?
All anyone here seems to be concerned with is molding themselves into the woman this particular man wants..... Like I said - if the only way you can get that man's attention is by challenging him and making him WANT to chase after you - then he didn't want you in the first place, he just wants to play the game.

I applaud iluvmecancer for taking the time to try and understand what her boyfriend is asking for - she's not trying to be someone she isn't, she's trying to find out what things she can do to show him how she honestly feels, that HE will understand, because apparently she's been showing him in a way that he DOESN'T understand. But the emotions are there and they're real - they just need to understand each other.
That is VERY different from trying to figure out what kind of woman the man wants and then trying to be THAT woman.

7/1/2007 12:57:09 AM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

it doesn't matter what I say because someone will always tell me I'm wrong. That's okay - no one has to agree with me, I just say what I think is right and people can either listen or decide that my advice is not gor them.
Too many people here don't understand that when you give someone advice they are not obligated to take it - it is only a suggestion for them to consider.
7/1/2007 2:27:07 PM | More
iluvmecancer

31 years old female

Thanks guys I would like to thank all of you for your opinions and comments, it is greatly appreciated. Im taking it a day at a time here, doing what I can to make my cancer man feel wanted. He tells me when I sit down and talk to him about any issues that we may have, or just engaging in a conversation with him thats one of the ways he know that i am ginuwine and care, it also makes him feel wanted. He says that instead of waiting for him to initiate seeing me I can initiate as well, and when I miss him i should tell him. So I can do that, and at the end of the day he's a cancer as well as me and we just want someone to make us feel wanted and oh so special. SoI totally understand.

Thanks again guys.
7/1/2007 5:01:47 PM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

yes - I do read the posts thoroughly - and yes many of the suggestions ARE about changing who you are. I don't mention specific names or make comments that are OBVIOUSLY directed at certain people, like some people here do. and a lot of people also contradict themselves whenever they write.
I don't argue just for the sake of arguing and I'm not immediately defensive. People think I'm being defensive only because I am disagreeing with them. The two are not necessarily the same thing.
But like I said, no one has to listen to me if they don't agree. The feedback is there for anyone who wants it.
7/1/2007 5:26:30 PM | More
xangelfishx

32 years old female

oh, and I didn't say that a real man doesn't have faults and baggage etc..... I said that a real man will understand that women have them too - and that it's okay.
7/1/2007 5:34:13 PM | More
krobe03

iluvemecancer,
I am about 2 send U a text. I have some msgs NOW!

7/2/2007 10:34:20 AM | More
iluvmecancer

31 years old female

No need to discuss further on this topic. I am no longer with Mr cancerian BOY, just found out that he is still seeing his ex especially after all the drama we have gone through with her on so many different occasions it's ridiculous, and he still managed to stay with her. Perhaps for this moment, I am not girlfriend or wife material, I am still young anyway so there is so much I need to learn. Hopefully one day I will end up with someone who is ginuine and has all the great qualities I deserve in a man. I know that I am a good woman and I have tried extremely hard,but all of my work has failed. After being with him for a year it was clear that his focus was not on me. And it's no wonder I only seen him once a week, I was just sideline ho material. Its really sad and it hurts so much, I am trying hard to hold my tears back because I am at work, so I have to pull it together. There is nothing I do besides move on and be single for a while, and build myself back up gaining all the strength that I need.

Thanks again to all of you guys who have posted your comments and opinions. But now it's over.

But it's ok what goes around will ALWAYS come back around. Karma is a B****
7/2/2007 1:11:33 PM | More
cancerLA

male

Why don't you just ask HIM? That's the only real way to know.
7/2/2007 2:26:53 PM | More
cansir

But it's ok what goes around will ALWAYS come back around. Karma is a B****

that statement is so true..it has bitten me on the ass more times than i would like to count.
7/2/2007 5:12:24 PM | More
krobe03

And it's no wonder I only seen him once a week, I was just sideline ho material. Its really sad and it hurts so much, I am trying hard to hold my tears back because I am at work, so I have to pull it together. There is nothing I do besides move on and be single for a while, and build myself back up gaining all the strength that I need.

Oh don't CRY! IT will B OK! I wish I could hug U. But, R U talking about that Scorp chick that caused so much drama 4 him? I one who broke his car windows? Were U the one who posted that?


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