Username: Password:
Register

Would love advice on what to do about cancer man!

«Return to "Cancer" Forum

More pages: 1 2
incandescentcancer
10/18/2012 7:11:37 AM | IP
incandescentcancer

male

Since you have closure, he will almost definitely come back into your life to screw your peace...lol
apricot
10/18/2012 6:38:26 AM | IP

For those of you who may potentially be interested to hear how this panned out, I'm sorry to say a month after our last hang out I tried to call him but he didn't return any of my 4 phone calls that I did over a 2 week period. That was probably about a month ago now. So, he has disappeared for good. The strange thing is I feel at peace with it. At first I was angry but now its like something has just snapped inside me, like I finally got the closure I needed after all these years and it is such a weird feeling. We got along great, and I still care about him, but its almost as if on a subconscious level we've reached an understanding with each other in that psychic way crabs and scorpios have. This sounds like such a flip around from the previous "I'm in love with him!" declarations earlier in this post. I still love him, but its no longer in that nostalgic, reminiscing way... just as a person who was a big part of my life and who, despite his communication deficits, grew up to be a wonderful person.

I feel like I'm ready to love again without memories of him in the back of my mind and a big "what if" question mark.
apricot
8/8/2012 6:41:51 AM | IP

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

apricot
8/8/2012 6:31:11 AM | IP

Thanks for your support crabmoon However after tonight I am certain he has no romantic feelings. He said we will go out to dinner and "do something after" but after dinner he dropped me off home straight away. Dinner was same old- friendly conversation, no flirting. He paid again and drove but I think he is just polite. He never really had many female friends when we dated and I don't think he did later on, so maybe he thinks that paying for a girl- friend or girlfriend- is what men are just supposed to do. Not sure if I mentioned this but I was the one that called him when I got back from my trip and suggested a catch up. I also suggested the first couple of ones as well, there has been no initiating on his behalf. All signs point to the fact that he likes me as a person but not interested in me in a romantic/physical way at all. I'll just have to accept that I am just a friend and finally try to get over my feelings. I'm disappointed and sad but I think I was just trying to find meaning in small things and just falsely getting my hope up. Thanks to anyone who gave me advice, it was still much appreciated .
apricot
8/2/2012 7:40:21 AM | IP

Hello guys, I'm back from my trip Thanks RowTheBoat and Crabmoon for your replies. We emailed a few times when I was away (he promised to send me pictures of a project he was working on, and I wished him happy birthday) and we have organised to meet up next week, this time in the evening instead of a day thing/lunch. However, on the phone he just sounded all friendly and whatnot... I'm definitely not saying friendly is a bad thing, and I feel like an idiot thinking about it this way, but I really am now believing he DOES talk to me that way because actually just think of me as a friend. And if he keeps treating me that way, I know I'll just start to see him as a friend too. I just know it! We have a history, so I've experienced what its like to be the object of his affections, and right now he isn't acting like that at all lol.

Crabmoon I see what you mean about how if you didn't have feelings you'd apologise and end things there. But what if the ex lover has completely forgiven you, is friendly to you, likes to hang out with you and do some of the same things and sometimes reminisce about the past the crabs love so much? Even if there is no romantic feelings I can see why the crab would want to keep hanging out with me.

I think when we catch up I'll wear a nice dress as its night and pay attention to hair and makeup (you know I'm grasping at straws when I am relying on aesthetics to bring results ) to hint to him that I'm trying to look good for him and want him to appreciate me (not that I don't feel appreciated as a friend, but just in the romantic sort of way). But we all know men suck at subtle stuff like that. If he still acts like he is terrified to be within a one metre radius of me again then maybe I'll just have to write this off as a good friendship. I don't expect him to throw himself at me as I know cancers like to move slowly and in their own way. But a small touch on the arm, a lingering hug, a "you look very nice tonight", anything as long as it hints that he has warm fuzzy feelings. We'll just have to see
RowTheBoat
6/27/2012 4:54:34 PM | IP

30 years old female

Good to hear you did see him, and it seems as though you had fun. Cancerians are usually shy, aren't they? So it seems as though he likes you! Otherwise he wouldn't suggest to go out for dinner with you. But that is just a guess. I've had 2 loves and they were cancerians. Not that it means anything, every person is different. But, you know.
apricot
6/22/2012 5:21:12 AM | IP

Okay so we met up this week... and he remembered the specific day we were going to meet up and everything even though we had organised it weeks in advanced and moved all his work to the next day (self employed). We went for a walk around a lake, then we had lunch, then he said we should go to the movies (and paid), then we had coffee, then he suggested we go for a long drive. An 8 hour day in total!! But the thing is, he didn't flirt or try and touch me or anything at all, even though he seemed to want to keep spending time with me. He seemed a bit nervous (at the end he asked me if a hug would be okay and if I would feel comfortable with it), but not sure if nerves are due to trying re-establish friend ground, or if he was interested or what. I'm not sure if what we had was a date or not :/. He said that we should go out for dinner when I get back from my trip.

Is this "interested" cancer behaviour, but he is a bit nervous because we have a past... or is he interested in being my friend?
apricot
6/6/2012 4:04:21 AM | IP

piggytoo, I also have my ascendant in capricorn. I feel more capricorny than scorpio at times, even though I have two other scorp placements (mercury and mars). two of my best friends are capricorns- love them to bits

Thecontender, don't want to fight this feeling, just hope he feels the same?

I gave him a call about a week ago about setting a date to meet up. We're going to meet in the week before I leave (2 weeks time) as I am in the middle of a pretty insane exam period (I'm in graduate school). He said he would call me to confirm the weekend after I finish my finals. I'm not one for doing the whole scorpio "testing people" thing, but it will be interesting to see if he remembers to call me that weekend as it will have been a few weeks since we spoke on the phone. He sounded just nice and friendly on the phone, not really flirty. Very likely I could have already been put in the "friend box". Oh well, we shall wait and see.
thecontender
5/28/2012 10:43:29 AM | IP
thecontender

23 years old male

don't fight the feeling if the feeling is right.
piggytoo240
5/24/2012 11:24:15 AM | IP
piggytoo240

45 years old female from From a, place called  OZ  

Scorpios Rock!!Sun:Scorp/Sag:Rising/Cap:

Great!!! ^^^^ I think a visit is a good idea before you go traveling. I pray that everything goes well. I see you mentioned you have a Capricorn Venus....well i have a Capricorn moon and Capricorn mars lol. Your always welcomed to PM me to talk more on a personal note.


Talk to ya later!


Piggy
apricot
5/24/2012 6:40:29 AM | IP

Thats a good idea LS67. He is very cancer-like in his ways (being with him is what got me into astrology, because he can act so typically cancer at times)...he would definitely need time to "marinade" his thoughts. I am quite calm about this all because the way I see it, after everything we have been through, he probably knows how he feels about me (whether as a friend or still in love me). But if he does want to be more than friends, he needs his time to think and do things in his own way until he is sure of what action he wants to take.

piggytoo240- wow! See I always read on websites about how good the scorpio-cancer connection is and how it's sometimes painful for them to part, but its rare to find real stories like that! Thanks for your encouragement. I'm curious to know- how did you guys reconnect? It's funny- since we have been apart we have actually developed more things in common than while we were together. We share the same values on relationships, children (bit too young to be thinking about that of course, but just in one of those "what our perfect lives would be" conversations), we want to travel to the similar places, even been to some of the same places, have both stopped drinking/partying, have similar attitudes towards money (that's my venus in capricorn coming out!). The past isn't the only thing holding us together as friends at this point, which is nice.

Think I'll give him a call next week and tell him I'd like to see him before I go travelling... I'll let you know how it goes
piggytoo240
5/23/2012 12:51:52 PM | IP
piggytoo240

45 years old female from From a, place called  OZ  

Scorpios Rock!!Sun:Scorp/Sag:Rising/Cap:

^^^^^^ Sorry! Dumb screen posted twice . Anyway good luck and maybe you should try having you guys chart done for compatibility
piggytoo240
5/23/2012 12:48:46 PM | IP
piggytoo240

45 years old female from From a, place called  OZ  

Scorpios Rock!!Sun:Scorp/Sag:Rising/Cap:

Hello!

I say take it for what it's worth. You know like one day at a time. I too am a Scorpio female with a male cancer that has gotten back with me after being apart for ten years and its just like we never parted. I don't live in the past and when he realized that I'm positive toward us having a future together he just kind of followed my lead. We get along great and just enjoy each others company. I say go for it and forget the past nobody is perfect. We all have to grow into maturity. Focus on now and leave the past where it is. If you love him you guys forgive each other and move forward. Otherwise it won't work if you drag along the past. People can change.


Piggy
piggytoo240
5/23/2012 12:48:08 PM | IP
piggytoo240

45 years old female from From a, place called  OZ  

Scorpios Rock!!Sun:Scorp/Sag:Rising/Cap:

Hello!

I say take it for what it's worth. You know like one day at a time. I too am a Scorpio female with a male cancer that has gotten back with me after being apart for ten years and its just like we never parted. I don't live in the past and when he realized that I'm positive toward us having a future together he just kind of followed my lead. We get along great and just enjoy each others company. I say go for it and forget the past nobody is perfect. We all have to grow into maturity. Focus on now and leave the past where it is. If you love him you guys forgive each other and move forward. Otherwise it won't work if you drag along the past. People can change.


Piggy
LibraScorpio67
5/23/2012 8:45:07 AM | IP
LibraScorpio67

Cancers are very nostalgic souls. They don't forget past loves (in part because of their sentimentality, in part due to their amazing memories). They also retreat when hurt, and it can take quite a lot to encourage them back out of their shells again.

I think you should reach out to him, before you go on vacation. See him again, and then give it time to marinate. Let him know that you are also interested, and take it slowly.

Best of luck to you -- I wish you a very happy ending in this Venus Retrograde season!

Love, LS67

 

More pages: 1 2

«Return to "Cancer" Forum

Topic Options: