Capricorn Female Just Dumped Me...Is there Hope?

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11/24/2009 1:09:02 AM | More
SteveMc

Hey everyone,

I am a libra male who was dating a Capricorn female for about 16 months until tonight when she broke it off with me through twenty minutes of tears. I honestly believed and still believe that this girl is my soul mate, and my heart is broken.

What is shocking about her decision is the fact that two weeks ago everything was fine between us and I thought we were both very happy in the relationship. Sure we had been fighting a little more than usual lately, but nothing that I thought would warrant her dumping me on the spot like this. I told her tonight that I know I am far from perfect, and not the easy person to deal with all the time, and that I was willing to do whatever is necessary to make this thing work, but so far she seems not to want to hear it. I've read from many sources that once a Capricorn cuts you out of their heart, you are done for good. I pray this isn't true.

Little background: No cheating between either one of us that I am aware of, her biggest complaints of me are my committment to doing things I am going to say I do and my timeliness.

If any Capricorns could please give me advice what they think the highest probability strategy I can take to get this Capricorn female back into my life, I would be greatly obliged and appreciative. The last thing she said to me tonight was that she would call me in 3 weeks. I don't know if this is of any significance. Please be honest in your opinions.
11/24/2009 9:31:14 AM | More
SteveMc

To crazy_lost_cappy:

My birthday is October 5th, hers is December 27th.
11/24/2009 9:33:15 AM | More
cap..

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

11/24/2009 9:44:04 AM | More
cap..

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

11/24/2009 12:01:44 PM | More
SteveMc

So you capricorn females think the best bet for me is to not call her and let her call me if/when she is ready? And then when we talk is it best to let her know how I feel right upfront, or should I just act reserved and okay with the situation?
11/24/2009 2:27:01 PM | More
SteveMc

crazy_lost_cappy, her year is 1990 and her birthplace is New Jersey. Not exactly sure about the birthtime unfortunately. In terms iof her planetary sure of her planetary positions or her exact time of birth unfortunately. Guess I'm out of luck? Thanks for all of your help regardless.

11/24/2009 2:33:16 PM | More
CapGal

female

20 minutes of tears?? Good lord! That's unlike any cappy I know. Something drastic must have happened. Care to fill us in on the details? For a cappy girl to dump you, she must have thought about it long and hard and would have been 110% prepared when she landed the news. As such, I cant imagine a cappy bawling for 20 mins after announcing her intentions......unless she's acting against her will? IDK.
11/24/2009 2:34:34 PM | More
eric11

male

Steve I am a capricorn male but I have been in this situation with a Capricorn woman before so I may be able to offer you a man's perspective on it.

This is what you need to do. Are you ready? Nothing. You do nothing. Don't try to talk to her, don't try to write to her, and DON'T say you want to fix it.

Give her space. If you can do that. She will know you are listening and that is what woman want to think.

At the end of three weeks if she hasn't called you, give her a call and keep the conversation light hearted. When you meet up for coffee, if she brings up the relationship then apologise for what went wrong.

If you follow my advice, you stand a good chance at getting this woman back but maybe at the end of three weeks you will realize that she isn't the one for you.

It is possible to win a capricorn woman back, but it is not easy. It takes a strong and confident man to make it happen.



11/24/2009 2:53:49 PM | More
CapGal

female

Well Eric, my perspective...a woman's perspective....lol, is a little different from yours. Yes, we like our space, but when we find a guy that we really like, we want that guy to be in our space. The fact that they dated for so long says she likes him a lot. It could be that she is/has fallen in love, but because of his uncommitted ways, she's not sure if he feels the same. Her breaking things off could mean:

1) She believes if he loves her he will come after her, yah, kinda twisted I know.
2) Her feelings are so strong, she needs time to decide exactly where she wants to go with him
3) She's lost all interest
4) Any other

So if her reason happens to be 1 or 2 or both, then leaving her to roam for all of 3 weeks might do more harm than good. I'd say give her a week, then call to see how she's doing. If her reason is # 3, you will definitely know after a few follow up calls.
11/24/2009 3:02:04 PM | More
SteveMc

Response to CapGal about "20 minutes of tears":

We had been fighting more often recently, mainly I think because she felt I wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship, and in some ways my own life I believe (although she didn't say the second part). I showed up to meet her yesterday for coffee to discuss what has been going on with us lately and pull up next to her car to see her in tears already when I arrived. I spent the next 10 minutes letting her know that I was wrong to downplay her feelings as unreasonable, telling her that she is still the love of my life, and that I am willing to do what is neccessary to be a better man to her. (Her biggest complaints were the fact that I was always 5 minutes late to pick her up, my trouble making commitments, my families over involvement in my life, etc).

She responded to this that she felt like she was holding me back and that I need to focus on being the best I can be. To this I responded she was the best thing in my life and in no way is she a burden to me although I may have previously acted like it. She also mentioned that she can't stand the area we live in, and possibly wants to move away. She went on crying mostly saying how sorry she was, to which I responded she had nothing to feel sorry about, and that many of her complaints are valid. After the crying was done, she calmly said without tears that she will call me in 3 weeks and that she thinks this is for the best. I responded by asking her to please explain exactly the reason why she was breaking up with me, to which she really couldn't give a reason.

I am not sure where to go with this, except to say that I am truly devestated. I don't know if she secretely wants to date other people deep down, if she just needs time, if she really believes she is holding back, etc. I just don't know. What I do know is that I never loved another like I love her, and in someways I did take her love for granted, never thinking she would just break it off this quickly. (Literally 2 weeks ago we had much more laughter in our relationship than we did fights.) Who knows?
11/24/2009 3:50:40 PM | More
CapGal

female

Hmmm, sounds very familiar, so I'll put myself in her shoes. If I'm in an uncommitted/casual relationship, I'd consider it a waste of time to open up and let the guy know my desires. Obviously, I see no future with him, so why should i put myself through all that for the short run? It's hard enough opening up while committed, let alone in an uncommitted situation. Her seemingly petty complaints of late pickup etc, may just be an easy way out. So if you love her as you say you do, then I suggest you show it and assure her you are serious about the relationship. If commitment is what she seeks and you are unable to give it, she will walk away, no matter how much she loves you.

11/24/2009 3:56:03 PM | More
CapGal

female

And the fact that she did not emphatically said it was over, means in her heart it is not. If it was over for her, she would not have promised to call you in 3 weeks. So give her a call every now and then.
11/24/2009 3:58:29 PM | More
SteveMc

CapGal,

Okay, so you're saying you interperet it as she feels she is an uncommitted relationship and her effort and emotional attachment are no longer worth the effort. I understand. With this being said, if the guy truly wanted to be committed and be with you would you expect him to call you? Within what timeframe? Should he respect your space and let you call him, because you said you would call in 3 weeks? I really do want her in my life, and I want to prove to her that I am completely committed to her. How could I guy reassure of this, in your eyes? Thanks.
11/24/2009 4:08:03 PM | More
SteveMc

crazy_lost_cappy:

Good point, and I agree. At the same time I don't want to come across as a desperate, obsessed, weak man in her eyes. What is the optimal way to balance this? Wait 3 weeks for her to call and possibly give the impression that I am perfectly fine without her? Call 2 days later and come across as someone who doesn't understand that I really do need to change certain things in my life if I want her in it? Very thin line to balance in my point of view, no?
11/24/2009 4:26:50 PM | More
CapGal

female

CLCap, I couldnt agree more. I believe the phrase I need my space is an encrypted way of saying "get lost" which is not something anyone would want to say to someone they love and wants to be with.

Steve, I dont know the nature of your relationship, wether you were very close or if it was an on/off type of relationship. If you have been very close for the time you dated, then, from my perspective I'd be waiting on your calls. Like I said, give her a week and after that initial call, you should be able to tell if she welcomed that call and you can therefore decide how often you call her afterwards....I'd say 2/3 calls per week, until she starts returning your calls. However, if the relationship has been on/off, she may now be frustrated and is really ready to walk away. If that is the case, pesturing her will not work in your favour. Call her, but make that first call meaningful by telling her how you really feel and what you want, then ask her if she wants the same thing. It makes no sense to beat arounf the bush at this critical stage. That I believe will get some dialogue going. Make all other calls just as meaningful.

Keep us posted.


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