Capricorn dating a capricorn
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|Hi all, have been reading this message board for a week or two and I have to tell you that some of the post give me goose bumps b/c I feel like you are describing my boyfriend. He does not do the disappearing thing but he does throw up other girls (or ex girlfriends) or just wants to date other people when he feels threatened that I will leave him or he gets too close. But with in a couple of hours or by the next day he feels awful and everything is back to normal. These "episodes" usually come about every 6 weeks.. or so... Any advise on what I can do to stop them or to make him realize that I am here for him. The sad thing is that I actually understand where he is coming from on alot of issues since I am a capricorn too. Anyone else here a cap and dating a cap? Also, how does your capricorn males act when drinking?|
|I wanted to comment on the cap. male when drinking... Obnoxious! Boisterous! Does stupid shyt he would never have the guts to try to pull when sober. Why? What's your experience been?|
You can probably read my posts all over here about Cap w/ Cap. It was locking horns, power struggle, push-pull.
|Wow, thanks for the answers so quick everyone! |
Let me try and answer all questions.
First we have been together for about 4 months - of course, he couldn't define the relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend because he would freak out BUT actions were completely different. He is a great guy, insecure though, very scared of failure. He used to pull the other girl thing alot, but he hasn't done that in months until last week, at least this time it wasn't an ex it was just "want to be able to date someone else if I want" of course EXTREMELY drunk while doing this - and it only come up once he stated that I was thinking I have to leave him because i can't deal with him long term, ( which my the way ladies, not what I was thinking at all... I was thinking - how do I get his keys so I can drive his drunk @$$ home.. lol)The next day - he was standoffish after the argument and him telling me to leave him that he will just drag me down and the dating crap... but once he saw I was fine.... everything back to normal (which is very attentive, flirty, etc) but it still hurts when he said that and it is bringing out my insecurities!
Now my experience with his drinking is that he gets very emotional. Of course not only am I dealing with the regular capricorn men things - we just found out his dad is dying too - so add that to the equasion and I have one bumpy ride ahead of me! So when he drinks, he will at time even cry - it's awful. But then there are times when it is wonderful it just lets him let his guard down and we have the best time.
Also, I hate to get personal - just need some advise... on sex... we both agreed to start this relationship off slow... we both have walls and trust issues.... which the weird thing is, is that I probably communicate better with him then I did any of my ex's. He wanted to hold off on sex because he said that all of his past relationships were just sexual and he wanted more than that... so we held off for a little more than a month-- but still slept in the bed together every night.... and even now we have sex it just seems like he doesn't want it that much - he would rather stay up and talk or hold me.... don't get me wrong its great but sometimes it scares me that he doesnt want to .... even know he still says that we hold off on having sex to concentrate on the relationship - does this sound right to you or familiar...advise?
|Ok, every newcomer should come onto the board and be a little bit more specific when it comes to describing themselves and their Caps so that we know for sure we're not dating the same Cap, lol! |
Obviously I'm not a Cap but I can provide some input into drunk Caps and undersexed ones.
* Cap males are so emotionally repressed that when they're drunk, they let everything out in a way that at times, seems really unhealthy. Sometimes, you'll find yourself the brunt of their resentment from some argument you had months ago that you don't even remember and now they choose to bring it to your attention.
* My Cap isn't sexual either. It's weird considering he's a guy. It wasn't like he was at first and then cooled off. He just never was to start off with.
|i must agree with you Leowith capandannoyed... we should have to start stating our cap men's name or at least where we live so we know it is not the same one!|
|Actually, I think the best indicator was when CapGirl put in a survey about your Capman...which probably was a great way to figure out that others weren't dating your man since it would seem that Cap males seem eerily similar. Names seems too personal but age doesn't. Mine is 27.|
|Mine had approached it as 'just friends' and was giving me hugs at the end of each evening, but all the while flirting w/ me. That lasted about 2 weeks and then he started hinting at more, making references to sex and such. Later on in the power struggles, he was basically wanting sex as some kind of proof that I was really interested in him.|
|That's great, LC. I'm glad it's turning around for you. It is intense... we were like magnets drawn but then repelling- back and forth when it got too close/hot. I suspect that this Virgo girl he's with is a more comfortable, less confrontational match for him. |
|Those cap men and that intense connection that seems out of this world... darn them!!! Just kidding! And as for the 'just friends' thing I know that routine from like a year ago and those hugs and flirting... ahh it was good for me because I learned to be more open with him and it was really grounding for me because I started looking forward to simple hugs. Hmm he must have planned the whole thing to make me want him or something... I knew that he did something to me! Poor innocent happy go lucky me without a care in the world... tricked! (Again I joke.) |
Either way there was never an issue in the bedroom as all he has to do is look at me.
|10 years... wow... Well, I'm going on 3-4 I guess, if not counting a Sag. I dated last year. I hate this dating crap and think I'm never going to find someone I connect with. I'm already about to give this Leo guy the boot, bc. he's just flirting all week and not confirming a plan/date. |
I'm not really confrontational at all either- I handle it via email or text which gets me into as much trouble though as going off in person!
I was hoping the Cap guy had taught me some patience and the art of silence but right about now, I'm not so sure, seeing how I am getting so stirred up and suspecting Leo of game-playing.
Sorry- I digress!
|What happened w/ the Taurus and the letter, LC? |
I have Sag. moon...and moon is square mars which makes me a bit volatile.
I wasn't looking to date/meet anyone when the Cap. guy came into the picture. I was kind of in party girl mode. So, I batted him around like a mouse. And then I had to start chasing him, but the mouse was too scared to let himself be caught. Definitely tread carefully w/ these sensitive types... it's hard to take back stuff w/ them (see Floshll's new thread).
|capgirl the flirting was only for a week? My goodness that is hardly anything. Remember it's fun to flirt when you are single and it doesn't have to mean the world every time it happens. And if you are the one chasing the first date, then my goodness you are setting the stage for everydate. Now I'm not saying you can't be the aggressor, but I am saying that it's fun to alternate. I know when a guy I hardly know asks me out, I'm suspicious of his motives. Strangers in the Night and Some Enchanted Evening are great stories but they are just that... stories! Don't take it so seriously and enjoy the winking initial contacts and just smile.|
I know that in my single life (and I still consider myself single until I'm good and caught!) my biggest mistake usually is that I get to serious to fast, wanting something but not knowing exactly what it is I wanted. No one can bring you happiness and no guy can be everything we want him to be. Until I learned to appreciate the fact that I can eat what I want, buy what I want, and be happy in my own company did things start changing for me. Come to think of it I did read up on some zen life style stuff a while ago and liked the idea of not expecting the moon and being happy in the moment no matter what insignificant thing happens. Guys are guys and they have faults on their own and they certainly don't want to end up with a bunny boiler type of girl who wants them but doesn't want them to be themselves. (Fatal Attraction is a great case study on what we never want to be with a guy.)
"my biggest mistake usually is that I get to serious to fast, wanting something but not knowing exactly what it is I wanted. No one can bring you happiness and no guy can be everything we want him to be."
I used to do that all the time, meet a guy kiss talk on the phone and the next thing I know I AM IN THE RELATIONSHIP NOT HIM.
"Until I learned to appreciate the fact that I can eat what I want, buy what I want, and be happy in my own company did things start changing for me.
I have been there done that. I am at a point in my life where I must be friends with you first, be open and honest as friends get to know you, and if I have to walk away, be willing to walk away and still hold my head up because I know who and what I am and if a man can't deal with me as I deal with him then I don't need to be with him.
I will always believe that a relationship in any form should be 50/50,and have communication, and trust and if I can't have that in a friendship I know I won't have it in marriage.
Which goes back to the old saying "If you love someone Let them go"
Being a scorpio I am always thinking and analyzing everything, I sit still a lot and listen to my mind not my heart, the hearts clouds the mind up a lot. I focus on my happiness, with myself and never think or believe that I need a man to feel whole.
I am seeing an Aries, that I have known for 5 years as friends, and he came on to me, He said he has always liked me but he was trying to figure away to get me I guess, becuase I was not doing anything to entice him. And to this day I still ask him why me, and he just laugh and says "why not you" I am still a little shock you might say because I constantly ask him..."How did we get here" he just looks at me and laugh....But one thing I must say the Sex if off the chain.... he tells me I am greedy, and I say is that a problem and he says no somebody has to be greedy and I was like I can do that he said I will be greedy with you. Damn Him
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