Capricorn feeling resentment towards me?

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

Posted by kenyabobbydo
we've been in this relationship for 9 months straight and it was going fine.when i visited him he started to open up with me and i saw another side of him.I feel like i did nothing wrong ! and he's making me feel all guilty!I did so much for him while I was there,pampered him,spent money on him and he's mad at me for something so dumb?what should I do guys? I'm in love with him.Should i stop initiating contact and wait for him?but i'm afraid if i stop initiating he'll feel like i'm not interested in him and will forget me

Why are you afraid that he'll feel you might lose interest in him? Why do you want to make sure he knows you are interested? What if he is not?

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

He may be a little turned off. Instead of asking him directly, or just leaving, it reads as you tried to manipulate him into caving in to what you wanted by guilt.

I do think it was a bit much to actually miss the plane on purpose and sleep in the airport for a day, just to see if he'd offer you to stay. Thats something he'll ponder in his mind, wondering if he can deal with those tactics from you long term.

What you wanted to do, which was stay, had nothing to do with what he wanted to do obviously. Instead of taking the hint you tried to force it.

I wouldnt say he handled it the best either.
I know one thing though, if many of us have times/dates in mind we like to keep the plans.
OMG!!! Are you kidding??

Straight shooting here. I'm going to be bluntly honest with you on my impression of this. Hope you see it for what it is and not think I'm just being rude or trying to hurt your feelings.

First of all, the emotional outburst is a major turnoff. All the crying and stuff. I wouldn't want that. I don't know how to deal with it. Caps are extemely uncomfortable with all the emotional hooplah.

Then, he made an effort to get you to the plane on time. And you still missed it????!!!!! Puh-lease! If you called me that you missed your plane after I made an effort to get you there on time, I would have been irritated as hell!!!! Why is your lack of emotional maturity and lack of strength, supposed to affect me and put me out of my way? I don't care who you are, I would have left you there too. It would have been different if your plane was canceled, but you did this on purpose because you "weren't in the right state of mind?" RED FLAG on your emotional well being, sanity and maturity.

Cap motto is: Suck it up and do what you need to do. You didn't do that.

If that happened to me, I wouldn't contact you anymore either. I'd write you off because your actions showed you're not the kind of person I'd want to be with. Too emotional. Too clingy. Lack of maturity. Lack of planning. Needy. Manipulative. Indirect.

I know I don't know you. You're probably a very nice person. I'm not judging you, but based on what you said here, that's what my gut instinct is telling me. I apologize if this sounds rude and insensitive.

If I were you I would just back off and STOP initiating texts or any kind of communication. Give the man some breathing room and time to process what went on. The more your text him and initiate anything the MORE you are setting yourself back.

It seems like the visit went VERY well, until you had that breakdown and threw a wrench in his plans.

He probably had a great time and wanted to just go home and process and begin to miss you and then you went and missed your flight after he dropped you off at the airport on time.

If he's still liking all your photos on Facebook then I'd say he isn't done yet but you need to stop initiating and asking him if he's upset. Let him stew for awhile or process or do whatever he needs to do.

Ok, I think I see what's going on here. And, don't worry, it's probably fixable. First of all, one of my Cap friends has a saying: "I don't have any subtext." This is true. Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Actually, most men don't really get subtext, and Cap men especially. Be a straight shooter. I agree with what the previous posters said -- changing your plans at the last minute and talking about hotels and other friends seemed strange to him. Caps make a plan and stick to it. Now, you could have gotten up that morning and said "Good morning. I've decided to stay another day. I've called and changed my flight." But all this -- maybe I'll go, maybe I'll stay and get a hotel and see other friends -- he's not going to understand that. At best, he took you at your word that you had a few other friends you'd like to see while you were in town. I know what you wanted to hear was "I'm so happy you decided to stay another day, let's go home" -- I get that. I don't think he was trying to punish you, even -- I just don't think he knew what you wanted. But, I also understand that you didn't want to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. You gotta get past that -- with a Cap male, your best chance of success is to be as much of a straight-shooter as he is. Trust me, you will both be so much happier.

My advice -- don't contact for a couple of days. Give it a week or so. If he hasn't contacted you by then (and I think he probably will), write him a nice note telling him what a great time you had. Say you feel badly that there was a misunderstanding, and acknowledge your part in it (because, I can totally see how this could happen, really -- but you weren't very clear). Let him know you really like him and you want it to work out. Good luck.

p.s. -- from what you said about your interactions over the time you spent together, I do get the impression that he likes you a lot.
One more thing -- I agree with what Caplove said. If he's liking stuff on FB and having contact that way, that means he's definitely not done. But, he probably is feeling a little awkward. I stand by my previous prescription -- give him some space and when the two of you do have contact, be completely (COMPLETELY) rational and very cordial. You've got this.

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

Thanks for the advice guys.I'm an Aquarius with Venus in cap.the thing Is i know he didn't want me to stay longer,that's why i didn't ask.and i feel like if he stops talking to me because of this situation he never liked me or loved me in the first's one stupid incident of if he truly likes me he'll contact me.
I'm just scared that what we have is over because everything has always been good.i can't stop thinking about him ,i can't sleep,eat ,its terrible
Posted by LIBRA1234
Posted by kenyabobbydo
I'm just scared that what we have is over because everything has always been good.i can't stop thinking about him ,i can't sleep,eat ,its terrible

The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post is that he is a "a**hole"!!! regardless of his sign, his behavior is unacceptable. I don't know any decent human being who would not pick up a friend who is sleeping at the airport. This is the huge red flag and you should not ignore it. Who gives a c*** if this guy is angry at you. Unless you did something unimaginable and terrible to him, there is no excuse for his inhuman behavior... Leaving a girl alone sleeping at the airport while he lives only 30 mins away - cmon, how can you even think that anything is your fault. I hope you make a good decision! good luck

I disagree with the above -- but ONLY because I think there was a lot of confusion. It think it stemmed from the somewhat vague "getting a hotel, seeing friends" statement. For all he knew, maybe you WERE looking for a little time alone with your friends and he felt he'd be clingy or interfering if he suggested you come back to his house. Just watch his behavior in the future -- if he does anything that shows lack of caring about you when there's not confusion about what's expected of him, then there's your red flag. I agree with what a previous poster said -- Caps are planners. He had planned out his time with you and did not comprehend the last minute change. A quote from my Cap: "When you are in town, I ALWAYS want to see you -- just don't tell me at the last minute. Give me plenty of time to plan it!" Seriously, they really need that. Don't worry, hon, all's not lost. You just need to communicate and learn to speak each other's language. Aqua's and Cap's can be a good match, btw -- and with your Venus in Cap -- maybe even great.
Posted by kenyabobbydo
But he kept making me go,so i told him i'd miss my flight cause I don't feel like flying out tonight cause i'm all sad and I just need one more day. But he never said okay stay with me. so i was like ill just stay at a hotel or something and i have friends in LA so i might hang out with them. But i just said that cause I was kinda upset with him not offering to let me stay at his one more night.I wasnt gonna stay at a hotel or w.e. He just said you're getting on the plane.SO he drove me there and in an hour i text him telling him i've missed my flight ,i'll just sleep at the airport and wait for my next flight which is the next day in the afternoon. So i spent a whole day in the airport and it was terrible and he didnt even offer to pick me up,but i never asked cause i didn't wanna bug him.

Next time, you just need to come out and say it, "Can I stay at your place one more night?" Some people DO NOT catch things like that and it was most likely confusing, especially when he saw that you were VERY EMOTIONAL. He probably thought he was being strong for you by telling you "you're getting on the plane," and that it would be okay.

Then, you told him that you would stay the night at the airport.. well, he didn't get the hint that he should have asked you if you wanted to be picked up. I'm sorry that happened, but I don't think it means he doesn't care for you or love you. Some people don't realize these things unless they are hit over the head with a big, fat purse.

If you would have said, "Can you please pick me up?" then he probably would have obliged but you made the decision to stay at the airport and told him that, even though you didn't want to. You HOPED he would get the hint and sadly he didn't.

I know you're feeling hurt but I don't think it was his intention to hurt you, he just didn't get it.

I'm curious. You said you've been in this relationship for 9 months. Obviously, it's long distance. So, how many times have you actually had face to face time with each other?
More pages:

Recent Topics