Capricorn guy silent and ignoring me??
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|A mutual friend introduced me to a capricorn man 8 months ago whilst I was on holiday overseas. I am back in my own country halfway around the world, and we were chatting online. There Was a mutual and instant attraction n chemistry n he said he really liked me after the meeting so our friend gave my number to this guy. Anyways when I flew back home every few days we would chat and he would sometimes initiate a chat to see if I had lunch yet and pretty much how my day was. And about 4-5 months thru the friendship/relationship I felt like I was the one always having to initiate contact becoz he wouldn't|
I let 2 weeks go by and messaged him n he said he had been busy with work. Then I told him it would be nice every now n then that he initiate contact n he responded with a smiley face. So I let 4 weeks go by n nothing and I just sent him a message asking why he was being such a loner. He responds with that he has been do busy with work and forgot. I felt insulted then becoz he had lots of time to post n respond to his random friends on Facebook but I bit my
Tongue then and just kept things inside me.
Now we r 8 weeks on and he has not bothered to message me. Only 5 weeks after last contact he only liked one of my newly posted Facebook pics of what I made for dinner. He is a very traditional capi guy n Loves a woman who could cook. I never responded to it becoz I felt u know what, he could have messaged me
To find out why I had been so quiet. Last week messaged our friend that introduced us to ask her what is wrong with this guy, he is just so silent and ignoring N I cannot handle this anymore n simply advised her that I refuse now to message him or respond to his message (if he bothers to send one) as I feel I am wasting my time energy n effort on him.
I really like this guy but I just cannot tolerate this kind of behaviour... Well since then no response or message from this guy n he knows I am flying to his country In 2 months time for a holiday.
Can anyone help offer suggestions or opinions on why this guy is like this?
I don't know if he just feels confident about me that I'll get the message or if he likes me becoz I dun feel it. He seems like a guy that prefers a face-face interaction but initially we made do with instant messaging and chatting etc.
I made myself a target now to not message or respond to any contact to or from him till when I go on holiday. I guess I wanna see what happens then. Is this normal behaviour for a cappy guy?
Thanks for Ur opinion. I certainly had a feeling Around February that I wasn't getting treated the way a gentlemen should... My trip is to visit family so at this stage I really have no intention to make contact with this guy.
On the off-chance that he is following the same as me just being silent as I am also a Capricorn woman, I guess I will see what happens when it does. I really do feel if a man likes u no matter where u are or how busy he is, there is logic that he will have a minute to send a message but here there is nothing, I hinted previously to him and said I know Ur playing dumb n not messaging me becoz u know that's what I'm doing and he sent me a smiley face.
I do not know what happened and at one point I really wanted to message him and say enough but I felt he was not worth that much energy, attention and respect or consideration from me. I do believe that his loss my gain but thanks for Ur opinion.
|U know the one thing I do not get with this guy is if u r no longer interested why even bother liking my Facebook pics... It's like he's taunting me I really do not know. I like a man that knows what he wants and grabs it.... Not takes it easy breezy... Men hey???|
Posted by Eva
I don't really see a facebook like after weeks/months of silence hinting at anything, but I think if your thoughts/emotions are still connected you'll see any and everything as a possible connection. Even if in his mind he is extending "something" out there for you to hold on to, and facebook like is NOT enough, or shouldn't be. When he is ready he should step up, but hopefully you won't wait too much longer.
btw, I see your a Cappie. Welcome to the boards!!
Posted by everevolvingepithet
This is a good suggestion.
When I read stories all over the boards I sometimes feel enough questions aren't asked, then also, the right questions are not asked.
Maybe(hopefully) he'll say what's been up if you cut through it all and ask him exactly what it is you want to know.
I haven't met this boys friends or family as I only physically met once and he was the one wanting to initiate contact thru I'm when I flew back home. I do certainly feel its too late for him to make up but my cousin just said stick with Ur target for now to not contact or respond to him n we can chat about it when I am back to visit.
Anyways I have standards, that's not a snobby thing I just feel a woman shouldn't stoop n make it so easy for a man to get her.
When we last chatted I messaged him around 7pm and he decided to message me at midnitr and I was awaken by my phone beeping crazily from his message to say he just finished sports training...
I kept thinking in my head what the hell. But I waited till the next morning to respond and just said to him next time dun message me that late, it's like Ur being cheeky and innapropriate and he never responded. But u know it was more of a courtesy thing.
Now it's like I don't care if he was just needing his space and tomorrow or a weeks time messages me. I feel like replying then why even bother???
Posted by Eva
I'm not judging you but why do you really like this guy? I am really trying to understand because I could not "really like someone" that I met only once and who I only talked to over the phone and who treats me the way he treats you.
I might have started off really liking him...then it would have been liking him...then it would have been...not liking him.
I have never been a glutton for punishment. You can treat me poorly for about 60 days at the maximum. But 8 months...oh NOOOOOOO.
I liked this guy Alot because it was like seeing a mirror image of me. There are a lot of common interests and similarities with us and it's only been the last 3-4 months that it just appears he is becoming more aloof despite what I see as signs he likes me.
I dun know if he is becoming more distant becoz he is feeling more. I think he may be someone who does prefer face-face interaction but his normal schedule is quite full with work, university and sports training and gym...
I know what I am Like with a guy I will sorta keep My distance and see how he is and if he tries to bullcrap me about things and I know it's the opposite, I can pick on those things. I always test guys I like with the silent treatment to see if they will take the initiative to contact me but this guy is the most infatuating one I've met. But being tall handsome smart etc means bugger all if u give bugger all about a girl u like
|"But I waited till the next morning to respond and just said to him next time dun message me that late, it's like Ur being cheeky and innapropriate and he never responded."|
That's good you told him that, but he's probably a bit scared of how to handle you and what to do and most of all, probably scared you'll always figure out then call him out on his BS.
When my Cap friend was gently pursuing me I could always tell when he was wlowly pushing boundaries and I'd follow him, but yet I'd make sure I'd have that stop sign at every corner. I think it can get a bit tiresome for them in a way.
Thanks for your post. You know I will admit I have probably been doing a 360 lately. Like b4 I would u know message him and then I didn't and about 1-2 weeks later he messaged to say hi to catch up n I think he may have suspected then that I was playin him - u know that I was holding out...
Sometimes now I feel there is like a power game goin on and he wants to have the last say. Sometimes at the end of the chat session he'd be like "to be continued". I'd be like whoa yes boss...
But at the same time I feel lately things are just getting out of hand and the fact I told him once that it would be nice to message me every once in a while n not wait for me all the time n I should not have to say this more than once.
He's not the kind of guy that I think has had a girlfriend b4 as he's been so career focussed that sometimes I wonder if he is just confused or suspects what I am doing and is playing this power game and is waiting till I respond.
However when I told our mutual friend I know that she would have passed on my frustration to
Him n now I am not sure if he is freaking out and doesn't know what to do. After our 1st meet it took him 8 days to send me a SMS becoz he didn't know how to start off things or initiate them.
At the moment I'm just letting things be and in the off chance he has been freaking out how to approach or handle me thinking maybe I possed her off big time.... I guess we'll come to it then.. But i will certainly make sure this behaviour of his is not ok n I am not putting up with it anymore...
But fOr now since he hasn't shown he gives a stuff, I am just continuing this current ignoring session of 59 days- and yes I have been counting so in the off-chance this guy has been freakIn out how to approach me, I will lay it all out on the table. Sometimes I just feel like messaging I give up to him..
I am at the point of I don't care n too little too late. U know if he did message me in the next few days to check up on me, exactly what u said were things I would have said to him. Some girls have standards and if a guy wants to treat u below those standards, then no way he can find himself a skank, she'd chase him always. He has my phone number so at present I shall let things be.
The one thing that pissed me of a lot with the way he treated me is a few months ago something bad happened to him and he needed some consoling and messaged me at 8am I was at work already. He just wanted someone to vent his anger thru. And I was there to console him so the way I feel is I deserve so much more from him and the way I'm being treated is unacceptable.
I am letting nature take its course
|Found out today it was his day off and he went out with friends for lunch to celebrate their sports match and he was answering random posts of his random friends. I dun expect him to chat tO me for hours on end but it is too much for him to take the initiative and just send me a message to say "what's happening?"|
U know what? Now I think he suspects or had suspected what I was/have been doing being purposefully silent and we r in this power struggle at the moment of who can go the longest but really my whole intention is to prove a point. And now I feel I am doing squat...
We r not exclusive but are just in the initial stages of getting to know one another so I sometimes feel at the moment to just send him a message with only "I give up... and I'm sure you know why?"
Is there ever a right way to confront a cappy guy? I have nO intention of losing my temper I just want to know what is really going thru his head and if he says not interested in continuing our friendship to see where it goes then fair enough.
But I don't wanna confront and blame things on him becoz if I fully go ahead with him giving me the silent treatment well I have been doing the same. I just want to be able to say things and not seem needy. I just want him to answer if in the past 8 and a half weeks if it ever crossed his mind hmmmmm she hasn't messaged me I wonder why...
And ppl say women are difficult to read...
There has been no lying or cheating on my part. A few weeks before this silence he actually messaged me at work one morning just for consoling and I actually spent some time aside to help him thru and see things optimistically.. I just tried cheering him up n he really appreciated it.
That's what I don't understand how he can just cut off all contact n lose track of time or let's say last time when 4 weeks went past n I finally broke the silence becoz I wanted him to know that it was important we try keep in contact so I became the bigger person only to find out he really did lose track of time, forget and was busy with work. Whether that was a cover story for his emotions is another thing but I dun want to attack him.
I kinda feel he may be a face-face person but this thing with chatting etc whilst I am overseas is temporary till I fly back to spend more time with him.
I didn't want to make any drastic decisions but I had to let our mutual friend know that I just cannot tolerate this behaviour where I feel I am always the one initiating things.
I know he has gone thru some family hardships when he was younger and I guess we all do in some way but it's like there is passion and chemistry there but maybe he is afraid..
I just made that target to not say or do anything until my trip back to his country just so I could see how things pan out...
Obviously if there is a logical reason like what some ppl say that cappy males retreat when they feel emotion to make sure what they feel is real, then I guess it's understandable.
The thing that's killIng me is the not knowing what he is feeling right now n I don't wanna be the one that brings up the I wanna be serious with u as I feel we still need a few more outings together...
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