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|I just stumbled on this board because I had a problem with my Capricorn boyfriend, and I really cannot believe how much pertains to my situation...|
So even though I am new, I wanted to know if you all could help me/give me advice...
I feel heartbroken about my Capricorn boyfriend recently, and I really don't understand his actions nor do I know what to do...
You see, I am a Cancer. We knew each other for two years and dated for one year. I feel devoted to him and love for him, and I thought we had a good relationship. I know Capricorns get the rep of being cold and unfeeling, but I always told him that I knew his actions spoke more than words. I don't want some cheesy movie relationship, I just wanted someone to trust and depend on. I don't demand attention all the time like Cancers get the reputation for, and I do my best to help him in his endeavors while doing my own things. After dating, we were both serious about each other, and he started talking about marriage and children. We also both started making immediate plans which were his ideas that I put into action (like taking an internship to be with him during the summer----his idea, not mine). All of it started with him.
Then it all ended when my mom died. That week, he just stopped...stopped everything. He wouldn't call. And, within that week, he was breaking up with me because he couldn't "see our future". That shocked me greatly. Then the next day, it was "I am so sorry I said that. I don't know what is wrong with me" from him. Then one month later, he changes his mind again. Back and forth he pushes and pulls me now, and each time he says awful things to me that I wouldn't ever dream of saying to him. ...that everything I did was wrong, I wasn't his type anymore, he didn't like my clothes, etc. etc the list gets more absurd. And he said that I became too "needy" or weak at that time. My mom died. Was I supposed to be acting strong about this? My personality hasn't changed much at all. I am still the same girl he was in love with once.
Every time he was mean, I would just get sad...I wouldn't lash out, just cry. I was hurt that this was the same person who was shopping for engagement rings with me and planning our future. Every time he said he was sorry, I thought..."okay..I understand..I just want the old guy back." Everything was fine for a while until his mood hits again, and we repeat the same process. Over and over.
But this month...it has gotten out of hand.
While I was in his hometown for my internship (which he insisted on me coming or else "he would really break up with me"), he basically ignored me and then told me out of the blue that he doesn't know if he likes me anymore. I asked for a yes or a no...some kind of stand, but he said he just didn't know. Then later, he tells me that he now has feelings for his ex-girlfriend (a Libra, who broke up with him *4* years ago), that he had been talking to her a lot more lately since my mother died, and he will try to win her back even though she has a boyfriend. That was so upsetting...but, of course it doesn't stick and he is being nice to me now, saying that he made a mistake and that I shouldn't worry because "he isn't breaking up with me." But, it isn't okay at all. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I put up with this. What frustrates me most is that I don't know WHY this happened.
I don't understand this behavior. Is this normal Capricorn behavior? Because, I was very kind to him, I didn't put him down, I always reassured him that I loved him and that I am not the type to just run away so easily (he would always have this weird thought that I hated him), and now I feel like he just capriciously threw me away. After putting up with this so much, it makes me feel like it is my fault he is doing this, like my mere presence annoys him. More than that, it seems like he is maliciously hurting me, punishing me....I don't understand it at all.
So...any advice is greatly appreciated.
|I believe you are right. I am trying to distance myself from him now. It was hard for me because I lost a lot...I didn't want to lose my boyfriend, too...|
I am not calling him. That is a good first step
|And, I wasn't like that before. Any other time I would be completely okay with handling the situation...like if he was in one of his moods, I would just give him a lot of space and do my own thing. But, the minute that I needed him (really needed him), he just freaked out. I feel like he took advantage of me.|
|I just had thoughts because I am trying to understand...|
I realized that I never really talked about my problems with him when they were going on (for about 5 months)...it was strange, like the minute I got sad about something that wasn't related to him, he was almost jealous of it?? And, I always made excuses for his behavior. Even when I was away from my home, in his city, he invited me and insisted that I come, and I didn't know anyone...I still said to myself "he is annoyed with me and that is natural. I ruined his summer vacation because he wants to visit friends and relax" Now, I think maybe this was just abusee(?) talk.
Some of the signs were so obvious now that I look back from the past month when it was really bad. Whenever I touched his arm or something casually, he would jump one foot back like I had a disease. When given the choice, he did not want to even sit next to me. When I was around him many times, he would do anything to just not talk to me; once he even started reading a book in the middle of our conversation.
Last year, at this time, he was talking to me and laughing. He couldn't get enough of me. Now, he is not calling me and erasing my pictures off his blog. I know I shouldn't care, but it really feels sad to be erased.
I know that no one is perfect, and I probably did annoying things or maybe I made him sad or something...I just can't believe it has come to this.
If it isn't me, then why is he having such a violent reaction to me (i.e. getting rid of me)?
|I have tried to take the advice from others. I haven't called or contacted him, and I have tried to think about "me" things and be strong and active. I don't know if it is working.|
I just still feel so sad and very depressed. I don't think I miss him. I don't know what it is. As my friends said to me, he had turned into an abusive monster during the last months. But, it didn't feel like it at the time. And, even now, he hasn't called me either (in 3 weeks) even though he claimed that we were still in a relationship. I am basically forgotten about and swept under the rug.
I don't know why I feel so sad though. I know that I shouldn't care, but something is really eating me up. I wonder whether or not he will regret his actions and come back. I always thought that he had a conscience, but maybe I am wrong. This may seem silly and pathetic to ask, but do you guys think he would regret all the things he did?
I just need help.
|Also, I read on another post that Capricorns just don't initiate contact with the other person. Do you think I should call him or something?|
|Cancergirl, Just wait till he calls you. Don't call him. Capricorn might like to get attention from people, but to win his heart, you need to be something he needs to work on it, play hard to get your attention. That wins his respect.|
|Why would you try to win someone? Either they like you or they don't. If you "win" someone, is it real?|
|Walk away..........walk away........he's not into doing "heartship stuff" which is the bones and meals of everyone's waking day and nite...........so walk away...what can he provide you with in your moment of lonelieness withiout your lovely mama??? nothing of substance..........even if guys talk gibbeish at moments of crisis......its their gibberishness and lack of what knowing what to say....if that doesn't come off...they are more to be pitied...than analyed!!1|
|This is awful.. sorry to hear about your mom...my prayers to you. |
I think you should really move on and do not contact him at all. Just cut all contact. No phone calls, no emails... no explaining your feelings.
He is being a dick head and he knows it.
|I find it hard to believe he just cut you off. I think you may have showered too many emotions on him at one time. I am sorry to hear about your mom and I will pray for you. |
Truthfully, I hate to admit it but Cap men do get a little jealous of family members. Esp if you are giving them more attention than you are giving him. I did not read all of your story. I have been with a Cap for almost 11 years and yeap, sounds about right.
I know how you feel. My mom was very sick at one time and I took off of work to help her and be with her. She is my mom. The only mom I have in this world. Well she came over to our house during her sickness and he freaked out. He was acting jealous and acting like he wanted my mom to go home. He did not want my mom over our house or anything. It was like she was getting more time and attention than he was getting during her time of sickness. He acted very funny about my mom spending time at our house.
SO, you know Karma is a mother. When his mom got sick, he wanted me to beckon her hand and foot. He wanted me to cater to her needs, help her, stay home with her blah....blah... UM, you know krobe, NOt happening! I did his mom and treated her the same way he treated my mom when she was sick. You see he is still with me, after almost 11 years. SO, you have to sometimes serve him just what he dishes out. No, he will not call you because he feels guilty. Let him go for about 6 weeks to 8 weeks and if you feel like it check back up on him. I dont' really believe in that hard to get type of girl with a secure man. You can make him earn your love without being or playing hard to get. I believe you have to play hard to get with a insecure man.
In my experience with a Cap man, it sounds just like mines and how he would act towards my mom. But, I know it may sound cruel. He wants you to build strength within yourself instead of use his strength. In actuality, it will make you a stronger person and you will harden up on his ass and make him earn your love.
You pretty much need to get hard on his ass. It works! Trust me.
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