Capricorn man pulling away. Please help :)

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7/2/2010 1:16:44 AM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

1goodluck I believe LS was speaking about allowing him to lead...If you read up on Cap men they love to be the initiators/leaders with women, when a woman pursue him and just to be clear giving attention and pursuing is 2 separate things IMO, giving attention is when he shows up and initiates some form of contact and your 100% present and into him in every way and he can feel all of you being into him versus you INITIATING text messages, calling, emailing first because you need him (if a man isn't ready for a real relationship that kind of behavior will turn him off, scare him even and create distance between the both of you) initiating borders on chasing and if you chase he will run...

LS made a good point when she said that sometimes it's not about another woman but 99% of the time it is about another woman, someone possibly from his past may have resurfaced, he may have found interest in another, he may be having second thoughts about you, he may just want to cool everything down, slow it all down by giving you the cold shoulder but at the same time he doesn't want to lose you either, yet he can't give you the impression that he's going to be a permanent fixture in your life so he has to temper how much of himself he gives to you as to not give you the wrong idea that your going to be in a full on committed monogamous relationship with him...We tend to make excuses for men, we say there busy, they have hobbies etc which is true but it's still an excuse. This guy if he's interested will show back up and you have to decide if this is the kind of man that you want, a man that's in and out and maybe address that with him, tell him you respect his space but you will not accept a man coming in and out of your life.

We all get sick, need space to nurture ourselves but when a man suddenly drops off of the face of the earth, goes from hot hot hot to cool to cold then he's lost interest in you, that doesn't mean it's your fault, it doesn't mean you did something wrong, it's just that this guy isn't the one for you b/c a man that's into you, sick or not will not treat you the way he's treating you.

If you want to have some fun, then keep him, if you want a real relationship I suggest moving on, don't put up with half ass treatment b/c honestly you don't have to, there is a man that will be just as full on and present in the relationship as you are but you can't settle.
7/2/2010 1:26:46 AM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

Let's be clear, if your beyond year 1, formed a real relationship then initiating a call, text, email doesn't feel like chasing, he's established some form of a commitment but when your a couple of days/weeks/months in and you both haven't established how serious you are about one another and your still in the friend zone, FWB zone, dating zone just calling all will nilly (initiating without him asking you to) emailing etc well it gets pretty annoying. Stop contact and if he doesn't pick up again then he's done.
7/2/2010 9:18:47 AM | More
justSophs

31 years old

I am convinced good luck is faithgoblin....call me crazy.
7/2/2010 5:22:37 PM | More
1goodluck

28 years old female

just Sophs, are you talking about faith$golphin? If you are, that makes me look like a complete wacko because she's responding in my own thread loool. I hope on this forum, there are no people who talk to themselves under different nicknames .
Tiki, thanks for the advice.
Honestly, I don't care about what surrounds the fact he disappeared. There may be hundreds of reasons, and I'm not going to kill myself over this. In pretty much any situation, I like knowing I did everything I could to get the max out of it. That's why I'm really not comfortable with leaving this hanging like this. And yes, it would make me feel better to hear what the reason was; whatever it may be. And I guess that's why I need or PREFER closure. Right now, I don't see this situation as resolved. But I'll think I'll let it go.
7/2/2010 5:59:51 PM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

Honestly and I don't say this to offend you but you seem completely desperate and if I/we sense it here he will too and it will only make your situation WORSE....Closure closes the door, your not trying to close the door permanently are you? If you are then you indeed will close the door and on top of that you will not get the closure you need from him, he will sense your desperation and shut down even more and on top of that he's going to think your completely out of control, too invested in him emotionally and wonder why in the hell your bringing him drama since you haven't really spoke in a couple of weeks....If the door will be closed, let him close it, you go ahead and act as if none of it means all that much to you, that's when he will resurface..give it time...be patient

Listen to the voice of reason, I know everything inside of you wants to move towards him but that very behavior will only create more distance and it will make you appear the opposite of what you truly are...needy and clingy...He may just assume your getting on with your life and, tending to your hobbies, your happiness which includes work, school (if you attend school) friends and family...He may not feel there is anything wrong between the 2 of you but I can promise you if you move towards him with the icky ewwy vibe you have now he will shut completely down and the door is closed.

As my mama would say to us when we got too anxious and excited, sit your ass down and be still, once we calmed down she would let us out the door LOL, my point being, go tend to your life, stop focusing on it as much as you can as someone else suggested and go out on a few dates and make them great....just leave it alone for now

None of us here can stop you and you do seem to have your mind up to make this fatal mistake...I know you will regret seeking closure b/c honestly leaving the door open if your still interested in him is in your best interest and the most effective option...not to seek closure
7/3/2010 8:03:58 PM | More
1goodluck

28 years old female

Thank you all so much !

7/4/2010 4:47:37 PM | More
astrologicallycurious

If a Cap is being a douche and pulling away........he is a douche....

Please, he is not a special guy......he may be special in the head but not worth it.

They are the ultimate players........it's all about them and screw you. They are the ultimate and i do mean ULTIMATE romantic partners.....but you will be replaced quickly. They are wussies. If he marries you it's out of obligation REA Kids....so he will stay with you in misery and screw on the side...many many times.

Source.....my family, friends, sisters, ex bf's..........

Also, read up on Tiger Woods, Mel Gibson....Kid Rock....Dolly Parton...which is knows for her OPEN marriage and I know several who are....Janis Joplin...

and yea I'm bitter
7/4/2010 6:42:02 PM | More
1goodluck

28 years old female

Astrologicallycurious, your post made me think I don't want to get involved with another cappie again .
I really hope things will improve for you (and for me actually ).
7/4/2010 7:12:46 PM | More
astrologicallycurious

My experience is just that...my experience. I'm totally just expressing my feelings and experience at the moment. When it's good, its really really good. So don't pay attention to anyone including myself just keep in mind to keep you first. Enjoy and learn from your experiences.
7/4/2010 9:01:03 PM | More
GeorgiaPeach

Posted by astrologicallycurious


They are the ultimate players........it's all about them and screw you. They are the ultimate and i do mean ULTIMATE romantic partners.....but you will be replaced quickly. They are wussies. If he marries you it's out of obligation REA Kids....so he will stay with you in misery and screw on the side...many many times.



Astro that statement is so spot on! This is/was my ex Cap husband. I had 2 kids with him and we married due to me being pregnant with the first, but I eventually divorced his ass and left. He married his mistress and their son was born 9 months later. Even though she cheated with him, I feel sorry for her, because she didnt know what she was getting into. The douche Cappies are slick talkers.
7/8/2010 2:09:00 PM | More
Stayorgo

Hello I met a Cap almost a seven months ago, he cooked dinner for me and then we kind of fizzled out because I went back to an old relationship and I didn't want to cheat. I contacted him 3 weeks ago, we finally started talking again. We had talked the whole time he was on vacation visiting his children. I started falling for him right off. (Iam a gemini/taurus, May 25.) He came back from vacation and I picked him up from the train station. We did sleep together, which i regreat. That following weekend was the 4th of July, he went with his friends, each day he texted me as if nothing was wrong. My feelings were hurt because I felt he should be with me. He is going through a situation with his car, and getting the correct paperwork to get it registered in the state. His friend got his car impounded. I was supposed to see him yesterday and I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said he was going to workout, next thing I find out is that he is at a friends house and can I come over tomorrow, which is today.
Iam in psychology graduate school how funny right, I know I should know this. I just wonder if he is into me or not, he says that he wants to take things slow, but what should I do, should I see someone else is he seriously into me or should I just move on. This is hard for me, I am not sure what I should do now. I like him. The night we were toghether he was very affectionate. Now I am confused. Is he into me or should I just leave him alone? Thanks in advance

7/8/2010 6:27:29 PM | More
justSophs

31 years old

Caps guys are cool, I dealt with a couple as friend, co-worker, and boyfriend. But they are not Alpha or Omega.

Just do you. Stop sweating the guy. Some men like the chase but thats if their into you. Sex always change the dynamic of relationships, he got what he wanted, now he's pondering it. I can't judge if you gave up the booty too fast but don't obsess over it. Was it good? Think about you. You having an orgasm is very essential in a relationship on both sides.

If he's not doing his thing then you reconsider. Stop sweating him and go get ur nails done or something. Its an even playing field when it comes to relationships.

If he wants it, he will call, thats men. Women can intiate and text but if he want it, he will call. If not, oh well not everybody who you meet in life is meant to be yours forever and ever.

Its ok to think but its differet to obsess and not be happy because of him. Just live your life.

7/9/2010 4:57:30 AM | More
Stayorgo

Wow I am starting to see that I am doing myself a favor. I will say that he went down on me, and it happend within a minute, but sex wise he was rough and not that great!! He has that chickenyness that I was attracted to but I look at longterm and I think about the way he plays these sort of games to know exactly what your feeling but when it comes to him, he is not going to share what he is thinking at all. I am a Gemini/Taurus and I have to say that I have a lot of Gem as fast pace, but taurus when it comes to feelings. I did enjoy the long conversations on the phone and I noticed that one night when I had a friend over he didn;t know but he kept saying "I'll wait" it was like he knew, but what it was is that he didn't want to be told no. I get the feeling that it could be someone else and I know that I don't have the right to trip, but I got a little spoiled by the attention he gave. I noticed that he stopped texting me, but we did talk on the phone earlier and from what I am reading they like to play the chase game. I am not that type of person. I like to put the cards on the table and read them as they are, not put the cards on his table and wonder if he means yes did he say no or vice versa. I noticed that he talked much crap like he didn't care what a person did. I know I am going let this drop, but I am venting a little. I would never let him know he has me feeling this way. I also don't like the fact that they have so many friends to chill with drink play cards and stuff, it just seems like between him going into the reserves, starting Nursing school and thinking about his children that live in another state his hands are full and I like to be number one. I noticed that he liked to be cuddeled I messed up, but that sexual attraction was there.

I am not sure where i stand or if I want to stand anywhere, I just hate the gemini/taurus side of me that loves being in relationships, I have been in longterm ones all my life and I am feeling my way through a relationship breakup that has been over for a longtime, but I had to make sure. So now that I am single I enjoyed his interest, but I also know r.Kelley is a cap I think. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear what I already know like I said just venting.
7/9/2010 4:58:51 AM | More
Stayorgo

Please tell me what Alpha or Omega means?
7/9/2010 5:40:31 AM | More
Stayorgo

I am so glad that I have read the comments you all have made. I did look at the pattern and I have to say we hwave talked or texted everyday for about 2weeks. I noticed one night he called me drunk and playing cards with his boys, i looked at that as a good sign or he was fronting that he had a woman to talk to, but he said " I can't give you too much of me all at once, I have to save some to keep you interested" and I am just the opposite, I don't like a player or someone to chase but i will admit i met this one guy who was a scorpio and he was talking about us having a relationship and all of this other crap. I wasn't feeling this, I WAS wondering what is his problem moving soo fast, makes sense on the other end. I remember when I was in my 20s my best friend was messing around with a married capricorn and he was in his 30s. They were knocking boots cause thats what we called it back then and she had to go to the bathroom, she walked into a baby nursery. Come to find out his wife was in a military hospital she had just had his baby and that night he was screwing her in him and his wifes bed. I am not sure what ever happend to him, but I do know I read in an astrology book that Sag/cusp of capricorn's were the most difficult sign in the zodiac to have a relationship with. I know my feeling hurt easily and I don't want that. Do Caps ever remain faithful, and are they the jealous type, if so i bet they don't show it.
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