Capricorn men and phone calls

softy
Hi..

I have a question. I have Capricorn friend who I have been hanging out with sometimes. When I talk to him its sually always when he calls me. I dont call him unless I am returning his call normally. Even when he goes out of town he will call me just to say hi. Well here is the question.He called me SUnday night and asked what I was doing..I told him I was tired and going to bed but maybe we could go to breakfast in the morining before my class....WEll when I woke up I was and didnt get around to calling him and he didnt call me...I eventually called him around 9:30 that night and I mentioned that we didnt do breakfast, and he said "Oh, you didnt call me, so I figured you got busy" But I sensed he had a little attitude because he said he would call me back and he never did. So I felt bad this morning and just gave him a ring to let him know I was thinking about him and he sounded cool, but got off the phone. I know this sounds trivial, but I have never dated a CApricorn Man before and I do like him....But I just dont calling people and I dont want him to think I'm not interested. Do you gguys thinks that is bothers him, or am I just reading too much into things?
sarasa
eisshhh...I think guys have issues with calling in general...may I ask your sign? You sound like a cappy yourself.
sarasa
or atleast an earth sign...
softy
Ima cancer...He didnt seem to have a problem calling me.
softy
Well when he has asked me out...I go. I touch him affectionately too. He didnt seem to have a problem until I didnt call him for the breakfast. I just dont want games to start being played. The ONE time I dint go out with him because I was tired, he seemed a little annoyed that I didnt want to go. I also think he is used to getting alot of attention from women, but thats just not me.
softy
Thanks. Well I called him today and he didnt sound upset but we didnt long before he said he would call me right back.,,which he hasn't. But thats fine. I just called to maybe let him know I was thinking of him. He seems to like me a little bit, and I just dont want to ruin it. I just feel out of my element with him because I can't read him like I can read most guys I've dated. I dont know whether or not to take him calling/attention as genuine interest or just a friendly thing. Its hard for me to tell.
tiki33
Oh he ran game on you lol...sorry but I wouldn't have called him....you suggesting breakfast was his que that you want more, now he's back pedal'n and its supposed to make you nervous and he know it, now your feeling bad and chasing him ie calling him and letting him know your interested...shakes head...wow men and the games d:

just stop calling him, I can hear you say but what if he never calls again, HE WILL call again, let him pick up again and allow him the time and energy to make dates etc

You NOT going out with him is good, your now seeing the REAL him, plus he believed he had you fixed on him, to opt out of a date messes with his ego, that is not your fault, just lean back and allow him to feel it out and come back to you, maintain your independence and keep your queen crown on your head, don't put it down because he's annoyed, he's a man, he can take it, your just doing something most women don't do to him and he's going to pick up and pursue you even harder now...men get annoyed when a woman breaks her patterns with him, it throws him off his game...he will call...don't panic, his pulling away is to make you FEEL off balance as you did him with the breaking date issue, just some good ol energy transference he's doing...stay calm and things will balance itself out
tiki33
stop calling him, stop chasing him...stop it, just let him go, if he leaves he was going to do it anyway and you breaking the date just gave him his get out of jail free card, if you keep calling and reassuring him then he will DEVALUE you and lose interest because valuable women don't chase men, period

If he's not verbally saying he wants more then he's just being friendly and being your friend, stop calling him because your going to scare him with all the calling, he's going to feel your pushing and trying to be more than friends on your terms, he will be turned off, just go on with your life, he will be back....cap men have intimacy issues, they can be intimate but it has to be his idea or he's outta there
Diora_Capri
"now he's back pedal'n and its supposed to make you nervous and he know it,"

haha Tiki33, that's very observant of you! and oh-so-true!
Diora_Capri


Softy, trust me, if he wants you for the right reasons, you WILL know, you WILL be able to tell. gut feeling. cancer and capricorn do go well together, have u heard? *wink*
tiki33
just a little tid bit, men typically hide there feelings, they are taught from birth to be strong and not be a wimp and not express fear, sometimes when a man feels paniced, he feels scared typically any emotion outside of a positive emotion isn't ALLOWED to be expressed in todays society but a man still needs a way of saying I'm scared inside, I feel bad, I feel unsure, he needs a way to express it

what will and does happen a lot is a man not all but some will transfer that scary energy onto you by acting a certain way, instead of saying I'm scared he will actually cause you to be scared via acting indifferent which just one way of many ways

so if your feeling paniced then he's feeling the same way but he doesn't come out and say I feel a bit panicky over what happened, that would be to feminine acting so he actually creates obstacles, creates frustration by exuding certain behaviors, if he's feeling happy, he will make you feel happy and if he's feeling frustration he will cause an obstacle and make you feel frustration via his actions not by his words...

this is why I tell women to be cool, don't panic because most times its him feeling bad and transferring it onto you, its his way of dealing with negative emotions b/c doesn't feel safe expressing those emotions verbally thus it makes a woman do counter productive things such as calling, texting, emailing way more than she should, she reveals her feelings ie wanting more of a relationship, hoping and thinking this will make him feel safe and it all it does is makes things worse...lean back, be cool, don't panic and find something else to focus on while he's dealing with his own emotions, once he's no longer feeling panic and frustration he will come back around...

don't own his emotions and you do that by NOT REACTING to his indifference, his indifference, lack of interest is just him trying to express how he feels without actually saying the words, appeasing him is the natural outcome because women don't like to feel disconnected from someone we like or love but a woman trying to reconnect causes more frustration b/c he will simply not respond in a positive way and he will also feel manipulated and forced...let him deal with his feelings and then he will come back to you
softy
WOW!! Thanks Tiki. Great advice. I'm actually going to read it again. Just to clarify he does all the calling normally. I havent chased him. It was out of the ordinary me calling him today. I'm cool. I wont be tempted to call him. I have pleny of other things to do.
softy
^^LOLOLOL
tiki33
I have done the whole no calling thing and it works but it also can backfire too because men SEEK and LOOK for cracks in the relationship if things are too smooth, because he know that dating is a process and eventually the dating turns into relationship at a certain turning point

him leading you forward by doing all the calling and pursuing means he's investing emotionally more than you, he's giving you a relationship and if he feels threatened by this then he will back pedal, meaning he's trying to create an imbalance because he's trying to train you to do things HIS way, train you to chase him so he can OPT out of the leading and opt out of giving you a relationship and he does this by handing you his shoes and making you put them on...see you calling lets him know that you want a relationshp and if you want it and he doesn't then he's going to make you work for it by doing all the calling etc

women don't pick up on this most of the time and they begin to panic and call and ask questions and slowly but surely the tables turn and the guy leans back and no longer has to emotionally invest because she's doing his work and hers to appease him, it happens very quickly, it takes a woman off gaurd and the more she invest the more she's hooked into her investment...you had the power by allowing him to lead, keep your power or you will be working for something that was FREE, you will be working for a relationship and you might not even wanted one but him turning the tables by acting aloof and indifferent will create this NEEDY sensation inside of you and thus the games begin...you will be the one convincing him whereas before you had to do no convincing and it was him convincing you

softy
"him leading you forward by doing all the calling and pursuing means he's investing emotionally more than you, he's giving you a relationship and if he feels threatened by this then he will back pedal, meaning he's trying to create an imbalance because he's trying to train you to do things HIS way, train you to chase him so he can OPT out of the leading and opt out of giving you a relationship and he does this by handing you his shoes and making you put them on."

Very interesting. Well. It's not going to work now that you have enlightened me, I will not fall into that again. Makes perfect sense.
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