In love with married Cap man
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Posted by FoxGlove
I don't see any judgement or name calling. We are straight shooters and she asked our opinion, so we're giving it. I don't see anyone trying to make her feel like butter. We're just being honest and warning her. We have her best interest at heart!
|As a Cap man, if I had 6 kids, I wouldn't leave Calgirl. Most of us Cap men love two things the most, our family and our money. We don't like to part from neither. So move on. I know love can be overwhelming and overpowering to your emotions but move on this one. You can't win on this one. If him and his wife divorce and he gets the kids, you are going to have to take care of them. Not a way to start a relationship.|
|Calgirl, I know love is blind but do you really want take on a married man with 6 kids? If they all are under 18 yrs old, he is going to pay child support x6. Can you handle 6 kids when they have weekend visits with him? It's a lot to think about.|
|To OP (If you're still watching this thread),|
Listen, I'm sorry if I came across as judgmental. It really was NOT my intention. That talk about "having an emotional affair" was my own crap baggage and I get on my high horse sometimes and get carried away! LOL!
All I want to say now is that if you're still corresponding with him, you are cutting yourself off from receiving even better things in your life or meeting a really amazing and wonderful man who IS available to you FULLY and COMPLETELY. Right now, you're emotionally invested and waiting around with a glimmer of hope and you have been waiting, as you've said so yourself. How long are you prepared to wait this out?
Is he going to leave his wife? I don't know. Maybe you should ask him directly and then get your final answer and then you can move on and stop the waiting. And, there are no guarantees that once he leaves her he'll immediately want to settle down again. Are you prepared for that? Do you want kids? Does he want more kids?
Just don't spend too much time waiting for something that may or may not come to you.
|6 kids and now he's ready for you.|
all you need is his wife knocking on your door.
that will kill your fantasy.
|Hmmm... tough situation. First of all, I don't think that the OP had decided "ok, I'm going to fall in love with a married man and cause myself tons of emotional pain" -- it doesn't work like that -- so how 'bout we nix the judgment and name-calling. If she's attracted to him, she's attracted to him and she can't change that. It's what she decides to do about it that counts. Same thing with him -- he can't help how he feels -- it's how he ACTS that counts. So far, I don't see that either of them have done anything wrong. He's actually said he wants to do the right thing, and so far he has -- going as far as to turn down an affair. I think he showed actually showed respect there, to his wife and to OP. Now, whether or not they're going to divorce -- who knows? How he feels about OP now? Who knows? The way to find out? Ask him. One thing I believe about Caps -- you ask and they tell. Nine times out of ten, they're straight shooters. Good luck, OP.|
|Wow, 6 children?! That's a muy grande familia. Listen, put yourself in his wife's position for a moment and just IMAGINE that you are the one who was in this marriage with this guy. You've given him six beautiful kids and did your best to make him happy given the circumstances of the early marriage (No one REALLY knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people in it.. and GOD. That's a fact.)|
No matter what you do, he's drifting away. He may be home but emotionally he's trying to check out and trade YOU in for a newer model to make him feel better about HIMSELF. This isn't about you or maybe not even about his wife. It's about HIM. He needs to fix himself.
I think an emotional affair is just the same IF NOT WORSE than a physical affair. He's lying to his wife, the woman that stood by him all these years. Can you honestly say that you want to be with a person like that, who's even considering it? What makes you think he won't do the same to you when he gets bored or doesn't FEEL the love anymore? What does this tell you about his integrity? He's going through a rough patch right now and he's talking about bailing? Look inside yourself and be BRUTALLY, PAINFULLY honest with yourself. You know the right answer, although your emotions are getting the best of you right now.
And TrueCap is right. His children will most likely never forgive you.
Respect yourself and know that YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER than to wait around or even chase after a married man. I can tell you right now, he is so NOT worth it.
|*sigh* I dont think ill ever understand why people put themselves through this kind of emotional turmoil.|
Posted by notJTG1984
|Yep, if they'll play with you, they'll play around on you! |
Think of it this way - he's showing you a character trait. A very, very, very bad one.
Posted by CapMusic
Posted by capgirl75
or even relationships without traditional marriage, but are committed. Leave them alone. It's called respect.