Is my capricorn being stubborn?

2/11/2010 7:30:43 PM | More
cancergirl88

Hello all. I am new to this site and I am a cancer female.

I've been with my capricorn for a year now. When we first met, we were head over heels after that. Our first date was actually on Valentines day of last year. I was his unofficial valentine. From then on, we were on the phone for hours and when we weren't together we were texting nonstop throughout the day. I'm always with him spending the night at his house (he lives with his mom and stepdad). I'm 21 and he just turned 22. Anyway, we were inseperable for these past few months. We began stepping on eachother's toes a lot lately, arguing over the littlest thing. It's usually me initiating the arguments because I get upset over the stupidest things which I now realize I need to change. But because of the petty arguments, he said he wants some space. When he asked for the space, he specifically said "im not looking to be with any other girls. You're the only one I want to be with. We just need some time apart to get our minds right". So i agreed but then in the following days i kept bugging him asking him questions like how long does he want space for and stuff (my emotional cancer side). Then a week later I changed my mind and told him i can't handle the space thing because either he's going to be with me or not. I told him we should be able to work it out amongst eachother together. He said he needs a little more time and I told him no i gotta let you go . He said "you can let me go but im not letting you go". So i said ok i'll give you a little more time. Then the next day i changed my mind once again and I called him and told him im coming over to pick up my things. He said "so its over, just like that?" and i said yea i can't deal with this. He reluctantly said ok and said he'll bring my things by later. Later that evening I call him to see what time hes bring them and he doesn't answer. I call and call and he doesnt answer. So i asked my bestfriend to drive me to his house to get my stuff. He finally called me while i was on my way over and i told him i was on my way. When i got there, he had my stuff packed. He was visibly mad because I came and I asked him all this could have been avoided if he had just bought my things over. He said " do you think deep down I really wanted to do that?" We talked some and he said "you're making this decision. All i asked for was space. Since you wanna act like a jackass im gonna act like an marker now"

2/11/2010 7:40:42 PM | More
cancergirl88

The next day I thought about what had transpired and I decided to go over to his house and wait til he got home from work. When he found out I was there he was upset because he said what more did we have to talk about. His mother spoke to me before he got home and said that I need to realize when something is mines meaning I should realize that he is mines and not going anywhere. She said "you don't know how many times he has taken your feelings into consideration and went to protect you". I felt kinda stupid about everything after she told me that. She said all he wants is space. If he comes back then he is yours. So when he got home from work, he came upstairs and the first thing he did was walk up to me and hug me. I began crying and he told me to stop because he hates to see me cry. We spoke and I asked him if this could be fixed and he said "Possibly" with a smile on his face. He was being stubborn and not wanting to tell me what i wanted to hear. He said " I just need a little time. All i needed was like a week". I kinda got upset after that because I told him when he first asked for space he didnt give me no set time frame and now he wanted to throw one out there after I had bugged him to death. So i asked him again if this can be fixed and he said " I'm smiling right? Thats a good thing".

But a week later he's still being an marker and stubborn in my opinion. Is this how capricorns are ? He is my first love as I am his. We have intense feelings for eachother as to why we were together ALL the time. Should I just give him his space and stop bugging him every minute about the space ? Being a cancer, I overanalyze everything and it's so annoying.I don't know if he's trying to teach me a lesson by giving me space or what. Cuz i have done some wrong in the past by texting one of his female friends from his phone. So I just want you guys opinion. Thanks and sorry for the long story lol.
2/11/2010 8:24:55 PM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

your being way too clingy, insecure and emotionally unstable, won't work, once a cap man see emotional instability they just want out of the pressure cooker/relationship...good luck though, maybe he will consider your feelings and come back but I suggest whatever your feeling insecure about, angry about, you fix it and learn to be a bit more independent emotionally by taking responsibility for yourself by taking care of yourself and taking care of your own feelings. Give him some space
2/11/2010 8:36:02 PM | More
cappiebelle

from Manhattan, but always a Texan :)  

^^^i agree with tiki....though i don't know it's hopeless. do give him his space or he will positively not come back. i would suggest giving him a week of no texting, no calling, not driving by/stopping by his house, nothing. at the end of the week send a "thinking of you - how are you?" text and see if he responds. i know you will be tempted to communicate with him....but don't. i know you are emotional, and that's fine...but write down your feelings to yourself. if he comes back to you, then and only then should you convey how his actions confused you, scared you, etc. ....just give him space for now.
2/11/2010 8:41:07 PM | More
cancergirl88

yea i don't plan on contacting him at all. Valentines day is coming up this Sunday tho so I am curious as to see if he has any plans for us to go out.
2/12/2010 7:39:26 AM | More
james tate

47 years old male from Llandrindod wells, Powys  Wales  

A capricorn is never stubbern, I have never heard of this from anyone but there you go I don't listen to people.

2/12/2010 2:12:35 PM | More
Mars.In.Aries

31 years old female

I actually agree with tiki..... you first said that you would agree to giving him space. Then you reacted to that agreement demanding how long it would be, and when you didn't get your confirmation, you acted like a stupid girl. You were trying to control him, and when you are dealing with a guys emotions, you cannot control them for him. You will end up pushing him away.

And Caps are very stubborn!!!!
2/12/2010 2:45:27 PM | More
james tate

47 years old male from Llandrindod wells, Powys  Wales  

little miss mars caps are very stubborn damn it I said we aren't and I am sticking with that answer no matter what5 you say.
2/12/2010 3:47:08 PM | More
MsPisces.



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I agree that you're a little too clingy, but he is clearly playing games too. Its not like he didn't know you were a bit clingy for the entire year you were dating him. Sounds like the issue is something else, and to not have to take responsibility for breaking up, hes going to make like its your fault he needs a break.


Sounds like subtle emotional manipulation.


I don't think you should wait around for him to feel you're worthy of his time again. He'll just continue to pull that crap whenever he feels like it, b/c he knows you'll always be there waiting.


Just my opinion.
2/12/2010 9:21:24 PM | More
SuperCap

33 years old male from NC  

agree with Tiki
Your situation sounds very similar to one of my old ones. Exactly the same but with fewer breaks.

There is so much I want to say but Im afraid to change the course of something beautiful that might work itself out. Therefore I am choosing to beat around the bush.

She would always make things worse as she possibly could when she knew she was only trying to CONTROL the situation and control me.

I don't know if this applies to you but she always would say later, crying, that she would know she was wrong, and she could see herself saying things that she didnt mean, but she couldnt stop. As if the nice person would become dominated by the hatred -self.

Do you ever apologize but never improve?

Does it make you angry that you can't detect the ways in which he shows true love because youre blinded by your own ideas of what love should be?

Do you depend on him to bring you joy instead of being able to bring joy to yourself?

Do you ever resent him for having a better idea than you?

Have you realized that a single entity has put up with very child-like behavior, that of which he does not have to? (Patience is an angelic trait, so don't push it)

Also do not expect him to be awesome and perfect when you clearly have some polishing yourself to do.

Don't wait for moments to laugh at his mistakes bc he appears invincible. Taking your Cappy down notches only gets you a weakling in the end. Instead of becoming resentful over his input, and taking as "he thinks he knows everything", be objective and contribute worthy thoughts to your dilemmas. He will absolutely revere you for this.







2/12/2010 9:40:18 PM | More
SuperCap

33 years old male from NC  

Contrary to what many people think, Cappies do not think they know it all. We only try to make the best decision possible bc we dont see the need to do anything half-ass bc then we'll have to go back and DO IT AGAIN. We like people around us who can think and contribute to ironing out a situation. NOT making the situation worse by filling it with several levels of blind emotion. Emotion has its place just like everything else. Finding peace within yourself will help you to properly place this emotion and use it to ADVANTAGE instead of DETRIMENT. Why do you think boxers go into fights relaxed? Why do you think NBA players are told to ignore "trash-talkers"? Bc when the mind is clouded with emotion it cannot perform properly. This is why Jessica Simpson is not allowed in the press-box at Cowboys games anymore.

Does he ask you at times what you think of certain things? If he does not then he does not trust your judgment and you are child-like to him. I would think this way if I were to NOT ask your opinion on things.

Basically just be his right hand. Youre his first lady so act like it. You dont see Barbara Bush and Michelle Obama and Jacklyn Kennedy Onasis naggin and cookiemonstering and starting butter over the littlest things. These women know they are PARTNERS with their man and they HELP and CONTRIBUTE and ASSIST, and ADVISE bc they know that together they can RISE.

Its not about WHOS right and WHOS wrong. Its about thanking GOD that one of you came to the right conclusion and that both of you had a part in achieving that success.

SuperCap tired....


2/12/2010 10:48:57 PM | More
cancergirl88

@scorpio_chic @Supercap wow you guys gave some REALLY good advice and made some great points. I wont go into details but thank you a lot !
2/16/2010 3:16:03 PM | More
Mars.In.Aries

31 years old female

Posted by Chance11
stubborn??! us?!!shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


I am the Queen of Stubborn..... an Aries at her best. IT takes one to know one!!!

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