Just started dating a Capricorn man!
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|I've been dating a Capricorn for about a month now. He's definitely playing games to test me. It sucks because as a Pisces woman I'm ready to serve him my heart on a platter and he doesn't want to open up yet at all. I'm beyond frustrated with his lackadasical nature and slow moving. He never invites me over, I have to invite myself. He never texts me first, I text him. He never takes me out, yet blew nearly $400 (on himself) when we went shopping together for ourbfourth date. I feel like he's Taking advantage of me, even though I can realize it's his nature to be cautious. I'm really trying to be patient.. the other day when I saw him he gave me this look: he looked into my eyes (which he Normally seems to have trouble with) and to me it felt like he was pleading me for something... He looked almost pained. If I'm patient and he decides to open up to me will he be less self centered, or will he always be this way? I'm too selfless to deal with it for a lifetime. |
(My dad is Scorpio (water sign like me and has had a hard time with a cap woman playing games and Taking advantage of him for 6 years now, and they are in their 50s and 60s! When I told him about this new guy being a cap he pretty much said RUN! Haha.)
Maybe the pleading, painful look in his eyes reflected the regret to have met such a dedicated woman at the wrong time in his life. If he is in his early twenties, he may want to play the field for a while.
I met my first Capri when we were both 19 and it was an exciting, on-off relationship stretching over several years. During this time, he also dated another girl (on-off), whereas I met my husband (now my ex). The Capri married in his early thirties to a strong willed woman who chased the hell out of him.
I am a Pisces like you. Astrologers say that a Pisces-Capricorn relationship has a good chance to last, because Capri makes Pisces feel safe and secure. I would say that I never felt anything like that with my Capri. He kept me at arm’s length and on my toes the whole time and yet I loved him.
I’ve red with interest some of your recent postings. Two different girls, an Aqua and a Pisces, appear to have caught your attention. I hope to hear more about your love life. The reason I’m so nosy, is because I recently started dating a Capri (a mature one, this time :-)). I did not hold back from showing my enthusiasm and singing him praises. During our third date, he mentioned that he was also dating an Aqua and is not ready to go exclusive.
SirB, this doesn’t mean I don’t wish you all the best with your Aqua. At the same time, it feels good to hear a Capricorn talking about Pisces, since I have no idea what my Capri thinks about me. I might not be as exciting and sociable as an Aqua.
|I agree with Capgirl!|
Also, no, you are not going to naturally trust everyone, but tests are not cool imo. After getting to know someone why would there occasionally be a need to test unless somewhere in your mind you have doubts about that person being trustworthy.
You cant think its cool to be tested all the time by someone who is doubting you or flat out doesnt trust you yet.
As usual, the Cap ladies will have a different...more "suspicious-of-his-motives-so-you-better-dump-him"...take on your Capricorn lover's character. I agree with SirB; the Mer-Goat females & males are quite different from each other, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
However, something that you wrote makes me think there's more to your lover than meets the eye. This:
Posted by Moonfal
I think this says it all. It's almost as if he's waiting so long for you to pull the REAL him out. "Why won't you??!!" --- scream his eyes.
I sense he's waiting for you to do..something. Despite how you really feel about him, you haven't actually TOLD him have you?
Heck, if anyone can temper & change a Capricorn male, it's a Pisces female. I've seen many a Capricorn bad boy magically (but slowly) transform into a prince by the legendary patience & loving nature of you Pisces females. I'm a big supporter of the Capricorn Male+Pisces Female coupling 'cos I've seen it very often & they're beautiful to look at. This pairing always make me feel jealous 'cos they look SOOOOO happy with each other.
Look, it's only been a MONTH. Caps take longer than that to REALLY be into someone. It's not like you've been together for years right? Give it time. Water & Earth signs are NOT like Fire & Air signs. They don't wear their hearts on their sleeves & declare undying love after only a few dates. I sense this Cap of yours is actually testing you; to see if you'll tolerate his BS & more importantly, to see if you'll be there for him for the long haul.
Posted by Moonfal
I don't know how to say this nicely, so I'm just going to offer some hardcore "mom" advice (you're the same age as my daughter, by the way).
Read what you wrote. He is not that into you. It has absolutely nothing to do with him being cautious.
My advice is to stop trying. Stop chasing. Stop inviting yourself over. Stop initiating contact. Be mysterious. Be busy. Live a full social life. If he likes you, HE will chase YOU!!! Men do not like women who are easily available to them. Men want to chase and earn what they have. As it is now, you're giving him nothing to work for - YOU'RE doing all the work. MAKE him EARN time with YOU!
If he is not willing to earn YOU, then he's not worth your time.
Hope you take this constructively, because that's how it is meant. Hugs to you!
Heh, your Dad knows only too well that a Cap man is a lot like him. They both know each other's tricks & mind games. They say a Capricorn is just another Scorpio in a suit; or a Scorpio is just another Capricorn without the suit
Oh, & try not to get the two of them to meet. Your Dad, being a Scorpio, is naturally protective of his Pisces daughter. And knowing that a Cap is a lot like himself, he's only going to to "test/prod/provoke" your Capricorn lover to see if "he's good enough" for you
Posted by BeoWulf
I'm really sorry for your frustration with this guy.
Okay so, I sort of agree with Beowulf. Maybe he WAS trying to express something to you that he CAN'T verbalize. After all, they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But, at the same time I don't want to tell you to keep on keeping on because it seems like he's not even encouraging you in ANY way, shape or form. Does he give you anything to show you he really likes you and is interested?
It sounds like he's not even participating here. I would understand if he gave you something to go off of, but like you say- you've been the one to text and initiate and do ALL the work. If he's young, he's probably just insecure and needs a lot (tons!) of encouragement. But at some point it has to stop being just about "him" and being about you too, otherwise you will become resentful.
How did you meet and start communicating with each other?
Posted by capgirl75
I mean, he's got to give her SOMETHING. Maybe a text to say "Hi, how are you?" This is bare minimum stuff even from just a friendship standpoint. If he wants to keep the lines of communication open he'll at least text something. He HAS to reciprocate something, anything. Smoke signals? Telepathy? Heck, I don't know. One thing is for sure, if he doesn't feed the fire, it will die.
Posted by 88NNPISCES
Yes, we are being serious!
She has been dating him for one month. But is HE dating HER?
Don't you think he should be persuing her more? Making SOME kind of effort? It's not about starting off fast, it's about showing interest. The man needs to be the one taking initiative, especially at this stage.
Maybe this is the difference between cap women and women of other signs. Most of the cap women wouldn't tolerate this behavior in a man.
|Sorry to break it to you Moonfal but a month is not nearly long enough to "crack the code" when it comes to a Cap man. They take a very very loooong time to give their hearts to anyone completely that isn't family or a trusted loyal friend. I'm talking years sweetie. I know because I've been with my Cap for over 20 years now and the road to win his heart and love completely and unconditionally was not traveled lightly. |
Cap men are a powerful force when it comes to the heart of a Pisces female. When these two get it right it can be the most amazing of love stories there is but it cannot and will not happen before the time is right and for a Cap man who knows when that may be. Right now you are doing way too much for him especially after only dating a month. What is your hurry? Cap may give you great sex (if you are indulging) but his heart? That's a whole other thing altogether. They have to trust you completely and your loyalty proven as it should be for you as well. You are dating period. Give him and yourself time to really get to know one another and see if you have what it truly takes to walk by this man's side for the long term. Luckily, your appeal to the Cap man is very high. He senses deep down that his heart can be trusted with us but if your Cap is young, unevolved, doesn't have his b*tter together yet like a career, home, etc. then he won't be right for you or anyone else until he does. Back away, let him breath and pay attention to what he does not what he says.
|Moonfal you may know your worth to him but he hasnt figured it out yet. It will take him sometime. You can be patient and hang around but I wouldn't. He is not ready ANDif he wete he would prolly treat you better but doesnt mean he'd rush to make a full fledge commitment. A evolved Pisces and a Evolved Cap together are awesome I rather opt for that otherwise you are fighting an uphill battle. Undo stress and strain. I was in tour position only I could not see how wonderful my Cap was. It took me yeeeaaaarrrssss to figure it out. He never stop lovong me and when the time was right I got it and its been heaven every since. My point is if its meant to be it will come back around at another time perhaps the right time. If you are anything like me Im a Pisces woman too. Men always find their way back to us mermaids...|
Posted by 88NNPISCES
I don't think even the most idealistic mature guy who will wait patiently for a girl, will wait a long time (if he could help it) to express (verbally or nonverbally) to a girl how much he likes her and how much he would wait for her.
|Thanks everyone for your advice! I guess I should clarify that I'm not trying to move things quickly. I'm very cautious when it comes to men, in fact if they try moving too fast (whether it's in a good way or a bad way) I'm gone quicker than you could imagine. Also, I don't want him to be clingy. I like having time to myself and not being suffocated. But it would be nice if he texted me every other day or so and let me know he was thinking of me. |
A little more background: He's 24 and I'm 19 (please do not judge me by my age, everyone reaches different points in their lives at different times). He approached me at my work and was the one to make the initiative. I work in the mornings and he works in the evenings during the week, so we only have the weekends to see each other.
After re-reading all our texts... the first three or four weeks of us talking he did initiate talking and hanging out a bit. Then he started working evening shifts, and it became harder to communicate (although he never was a huge texter anyway).
Then this happened: We hung out on the 12th, our first time seeing each other in two weeks (at the time we lived an hours drive from one another, I commuted for work). We had what I thought was a great time, and he asked when he would see me again and I told him I would be free the next day. He said alright I'll contact you tomorrow. He called me, which btw was the fist time he actually CALLED which I took to be a great sign! I missed it unfortunately and called him back in about 30 minutes, by then he'd made plans with some friends for dinner but said that he'd like to see me after. I agreed. About 7:30 he texts me and asks what I'm doing, I said, "I'm just finishing up a movie!" two hours goes by and I don't hear back from him. He says: "Okay"
Him: "Yeah, I didn't hear from you!"
I explained I DID reply, but maybe my phone really didn't send the message. He says I'm still invited over but by now it's 9:30 and I'm determined to not be a booty call, so even though I was all dolled up waiting to see him I replied that I was already in my jammies and settled into bed, and that I was sorry for the miscommunication.
That was Sunday. By Saturday I hadn't heard from him. I texted him, and he immediately responded, we caught up. He ended up telling me I should've come over, I said I'm not one to invite myself over to someone's home it feels rude to me, he told me no it's alright, it's not rude. The conversation
|died, and after a few hours he texted me again. He uses few words when he texts, and practically no punctuation. So I stated that I found it hard to have a conversation through texting with him. He asked why, and in a moment of total honesty here is what I said, |
Me: "You use very few words. Actually, I find you very puzzling in general as a person! You're hard to read most of the time, which is unusual for me. Normally I'm very intuitive when it comes to people and what they are thinking or feeling."
Him: "Lol I make it hard though I don't need taken advantage of"
Me: "Well I've been getting that vibe from you to be honest. I've been more guarded myself when I'm with you because of it. You don't have to be so afraid, there are still good people in this world "
Him: "What are you wanting from this?"
Me (Hoping to God he's not talking about where our friendship is going, especially not through texting!): "What do I want from this discussion? To build a better friendship. I know we've hung out only a handful of times, but I still feel like I barely know you. It's hard when you have two people on the defensive."
Him: "No no, from this you and I"
Me: "Oh.. We are fairly new to each other but I would like us to go further and think about potential long term, but it's not possible without us opening up to each other. I don't want to rush anything, I'm happy taking things nice and slowly so there's no pressure."
Him: "Just curious."
Me: "Well, how do you feel?"
Him: "Same. Didn't know if you felt different."
Then I invited him bowling, he said he was with some friends but to text him after and he may want to hang out. I texted him afterwards it was about midnight asking if he was still with his friends, and he said Oh yeah, I'm still at my friend's. Won't be home til about 5. I was bothered, did he think I'd be bowling til 5 am? And did he think I"d come over at 5 am after being up all night if so?! WTH haha. That day he texted me in the afternoon during my lunch break and we made plans to see each other that night. Little did I know he had his friend and his friend's girl over, so it was like a double date movie night deal. That was the first time I met one of his friends, good sign, right? It was about 2 am when his friends left. He kind of invited me to stay the night (His exact words, "You should just stay over so we can just go to sleep" Which in my mind is not a direct invitation to stay the night) I told him I really n
|but that I would love to see him again before he leaves to visit his family at the end of the week for a month. He walked me to the door, kissed my lips, my cheek, my neck, then pulled me in for nice long embrace, then kissed me again and I left. We texted that night a little bit before falling asleep. Oh! Also, that is the night he looked over at me and had that look in his eyes. (it's odd; as hard as he is to read I can always look in his eyes and I see so much, even if I can't interpret his feelings)|
I get off work the next day and text him, he asks if I'm coming over I say yes. He asks when, I tell him I'll leave right now and stop and rent a movie. Twenty minutes later I'm at his apartment and knock, no answer. Knock again, no answer, and it sounds like I hear someone cough. I knock one more time, still no answer. I try calling his phone, and it goes to his voicemail after a few rings. I'm angry, I'm hurt, I leave and go back home. After an hour he still hasn't called back! Another thirty minutes and he texts me.
Him: "You not coming"
Me: "Well I went over but no one answered the door, and you didn't answer your phone so I went back home."
Him: "I didn't get a call from you"
Me: "Huh that really sucks."
Him: "I've been sittin on the couch since I said I'm home"
Me: "Hhmm well I dunno then"
Him: "Lol well you can come back"
Me: "Umm no that's ok"
Me: "I feel a little stooAlso... I texted him earlier today as soon as I got off work (Just as he's getting on shift) and haven't heard anything back... he's still working though, so I'll see if I get a response here in the next hour or so!
d up even if it is due to a miscommunication, and if you still want to see me you are more than welcome to come over here."
Me: "You're comin over?"
Him: "Thank you though. I just don't feel like leaving."
That was Monday and we haven't talked since. I'm really sorry to write three whole messages... And I would have gone this in depth originally but I didn't think I'd get so many people commenting and trying to help me out!
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