Why does he want to be friends? Help!
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|Ok I had to repost this.. Why would a guy who likes you, say he wants to be friends, when he knows that the girl likes him back?|
I hang out with this guy (he's capricorn and me pisces) and we are attracted to each other. He once told me he likes me and knows I like him too. But we're not going out and sometimes he just calls me to say hi and see how me or my family is doing and we hang out like once a month. He complements me a lot that I'm very pretty and introduces me to his friends. We have common interests, like in music. He recorded me once a cd with his favorite songs, love songs and we listened to it in his car. One day when he made me mad with some stupid joke, i guess to get reaction out of me, I ran out of his house and he chased me with his car, shouting out to wait and saying why am I doing this to him? He almost pleased me on his knees to get into his car to talk like a kid who couldn't get his candy. He asked if I wanted to go to eat somewhere, he was holding my hand in his car all the time, asked me for a kiss, he apologized and asked me not to do this again to him, because it really pissed him off. I said you're using me and he in that strange voice like he just heard something unbelievable happened, replied: NO Jenna don't ever think this again... i asked what do you want from me and He said HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS, while I lost the guts to say that I want dating. All the way we were in his car he stared at me and tried to make me smile. Then I left my watch in his car, where he could possibly see it and he called me only 4 days later to say it, while he could have done it the same day lol but I was busy & had to cut the conversation, he ended up saying we'll talk later. We were intimate though couple times before. I admit it I love him, even we're two different people, I mean ethnicities(he's spanish and me caucasian) but I dont care, he has hurted me once with a comment of how I'm going to marry my nationality guy and like he's just cool and doesn't care, I dont know what was the point for him to say it. He also commented once about me and him having baby. But i assumed it was a joke, since we're not even going out and I asked why, do u want a baby? and he said, yes, he wants it and we could have a little family and he smiled so I took it for joke. He often asks if he could come over my house to meet my mom, cuz my dad isnt here but i refuse to. He aslo talks a lot of his grandma,but what's the point if we're not even going out?
|Im just relating..I could be wrong, but I got this line said to me and I was sincere with them.."you are playing with my head" If we react insulted by the accusation or shocked, usually it means we are telling the truth and at the same time most likely thinking..How the he!! can this person not think I'm into them seriously?|
Sometimes we fish to see if you reveal how deeply you feel for us. This is because we don't want lack of depth in someone we love. We want all of you basically and for that we give you the world. If we sense hesitation in you, we remain quiet on how we feel to you.
And..I don't think any of us Capwise will like to have the serious I like you, lets be boyfriend/gf talk verbally. I cringe to write it even. I will tell someone I love them, write them poems even that are heartfelt but the gray area getting there isn't pleasant for me until I get over that declaration. Which brings in baby talk too..this is another non direct talk of feelings. Its not really saying hey lets have a kid now, woohoo! It's the non emotional factor to display interest and depth of feeling hoping you convey the message and take the iniative to bring it up how you feel or what you want outta us.
We often establish a routine with you actually to avoid the "us" talk later on..and sleeping with someone usually is meaning serious interest. Getting to know you is key before a dating decision, we want you 2 b our friend most. Meeting your family is key to cap males if they like you. Saying we want to be friends sometimes is just to cover our deeper feelings for someone if we doubt their complete ablity to make us their one and only.
It's immaturity¬ wanting to be direct emotionally in unknown territory. I had a cap guy say the baby thing to me who I was involved with 4 years prior. I see him casually one day & he says to his brother while I'm sitting there with them. How I(me)want to tie him down and have a kid w/him..I sat there perplexed where this came from considering i hadn't been with him in 4 years. But he wouldn't stop saying it ranting about it. His brother just replied finally. I think you just want that to happen so you don't have to face having to admit you want to be with her. You'd rather assume responsablity, so havin a baby will cause this connection for you and her since you'd marry for it. He shut up completely after that and sat quiet. He left me yrs back when he got scared. And we've changed too much to be together now sadily.
|Thanks! I got your point... it's just confusing sometimes, because he covers his feelings with his cool attitude.. and I just sit thinking... well I guess he's just playing around... and sometimes his comments stab me like a knife in a heart and I think wow how dare he is to tell me this and at the same time to give me that cold look, that It just makes me wanna stop hiding my emotions and cry the river in front of him lol... And sometimes his immature jokes piss me off completely. I have ignored him indeed on valentine's day when he called me and maybe had plans on asking me out and I didn't pick up. But called him back 2 days later just saying I was busy. And after that time he became so distant, he didn't call me for a month. But then again he was back with his 'coolness' like nothing happened. And then I noticed he wasn't as affectionate or emotional at all...|
|And what is that you'd like another person to do, so that would open you up a little more? I'm in confused situation and don't know what to do,I'm thinking to call him next day, since that time I just cut the conversation and maybe that was mean, because he called me and sounded so happy to hear me, even spoke using my name directly, like it's something he likes to pronounce lol... I know that's my fault for messing up with my own head. It's really hard for me too to open my feelings, if not impossible... because I've never done so and in fact he's the first guy in my life, but he doesn't know it, he thinks I've been with many guys and that still am, cause before our intimacy evolved he'd ask me how's my bf doing? Not being direct do u have one? lol once he asked me over the phone if my bf is in my house, I just replied: No. lol I just wanna feel like he would pursue me if I would let it all go, because it seems nothing is going in progress, just the same routine. So I need to boost things up so that "we" wouldn't die yet. And when he opens up with his emotions, it seems he's just playing, since they say caps don't open up, so I just act cool and don't pay attention. Like once I told him, I'm going to Europe for the summer and he was like. Are you going to leave me alone? I thought that was just a friendly comment and he didn't smile, his face seemed emotionless.|
I too am interested in a Capricorn male, and have to been experiencing they same thing as you. The "friends" thing all in all isn't a bad idea. Don't you want to be friends with the guy you're dating? They are extremely cautious people. He is introducing you to his friends because he wants to see if you will fit into HIS life. That how they roll.
I am a Scorpio female, which is funny because male Caps and female Scorps are incredibly similar, it's uncanny.
We both are kittyfooting around tryin to figure out what's what. Neither one willing to exchange numbers.
When the Cap has made up his mind, he'll let you know. So, in the meantime just make sure that YOU want to be with him, and not in this for the mind games or challenge or whatever.
|We're not even dating... but he has friends in my work, whenever I pass them, they smile at me always and in that "checking out way" it kind of feels strange lol. One day his friends were over his house, he introduced me to them in a very nice way, complemented me a lot and smiled. He told them I'm shy, which ain't truth, I'm just quiet sometimes, which is different, so I guess by being bit quiet I didn't fit in and that's why he hasn't asked me out yet. Why would one need a friend's approval? I mean it's you with the person. So if I will not fit, it means he will cut the contact with me or what? He also talks so much of his grandma, how he spends time with her, when she got out of the hospital, I mean we're not that close so that our 'whatever' situation would include family members, at least that's how I feel, because I don't talk to him of my family, unless he asks, which is weird too because he wants to meet my mom and dad who actually lives in out of USA! in germany. I want to be with him, but how do I make that happen, if I take approach I don't want him to run away either :/|
|I get all the different opinions from others. I don't even know what to do, but something inside me tells not to let it go yet.... I don't know why also if capricorn male found someone else, would he tell that or he'd lie or would he be giving any hints that he doesn't want you anymore? Also one day when me and him were walking at the park, he noticed the guys staring at me and he made a comment about how they're all looking and checking me out, because i'm hot lol.... well I'm hopeless, always waiting for him to call and never doing it myself because of being unsure and don't know what to do.... need some good and straight forward advice or else I'll go insane...|
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