Deal with negativity of a capricorn man

Carla86


Im struggling now with myself, and try to be stronger, but is so hard to deal with him when he get into his bad or negative moods, he doesnt do it on purpose, but maybe that day im really positive and feeling great, when he suddenly make a negative or moody comment and it affect me (not a comment about me, just about random stuff). i guess i should leave him alone for a few hours until he change it.

suggestions?????
wagtail
Do you respond by putting a more positive spin on what he says?
lnana04
Just leave him be.

It really does come with the package though. If it affects you to where it sours you mood/day then I think you should either talk to him about it or rethink the relationship.
lnana04

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

cowpuncher
Sometimes we need some alone time. It's necessary to our sanity, and yours. When we don't get it, our pessimistic side comes out to play.
Carla86
It affect me cause im a moody person too, and even the small incident can affect my mood. but at same time i try to stay positive even when im not feeling it, and dont try to make the other person to feel bad too.

and yeah, sometimes i try to respond with some positive comment, but it doesnt affect him.
seraph
Caps are simply natural pessimists. And they wear it like a badge, and expect you to be alright with that. They're the glass-half-empty type. When they're depressed, they wear it like a comfy old shoe. They have a natural heaviness of spirit which might seem that way to others, but it's just their own brand of happy. You either "get" that or you don't.

However, try to convince them that the glass really is half full after all, and they'll look at you like you fell outta the crazy tree and caught every branch on the way down. They need to come around on their own. You need to remember that they are *Saturn-ruled*, after all. Take it or leave it.


Carla86
When he get in THOSE moods i will think about the grumpy cat, and im sure it will make me smile!

and yes, definitely i found out that is something i have to learn to deal with, almost everyday at some point or leave him. there is not other way, he is not going to change.

i loved the suggestion about trying to focus in something else when he get in those moods, so i dont get stuck with it.
totem

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CapriLady
Posted by ellessque
I think you need to find a way to accept his moods for what they are. They are part of him, as yours are part of you.

You are feeding off of his energy too much, letting them dictate your feelings. He is certainly not doing this on purpose and your reaction to them is something you need to become aware of in yourself.

Perhaps distracting yourself with other thoughts or excusing yourself when they happen. Finding something that navigates your feelings to a better place until his pass.

Like your moodiness can be overwhelming, so can his. So, standing back and respecting those "moods" and understand you don't have to do absolutely anything but be supportive until he gets to the other side.

Being supportive means taking care of you too.


Elle is correct. Take care of yourself. Don't take it personal. Don't react. Those are his feelings. Wait it out and the mood will change. Remember it doesn't have anything to do with you.
cowpuncher
Posted by seraph
Caps are simply natural pessimists. And they wear it like a badge, and expect you to be alright with that. They're the glass-half-empty type. When they're depressed, they wear it like a comfy old shoe. They have a natural heaviness of spirit which might seem that way to others, but it's just their own brand of happy. You either "get" that or you don't.

However, try to convince them that the glass really is half full after all, and they'll look at you like you fell outta the crazy tree and caught every branch on the way down. They need to come around on their own. You need to remember that they are *Saturn-ruled*, after all. Take it or leave it.




See... it's like this: Not only is that glass half empty, it's evaporating slowly as well even if you try to drink slow. It's also probably getting warm and flat if it's a beer. If it's water, you know what's in that stuff today? Speaking of which if it's beer or soda, it's got water and therefor all the crap in the water in it too! Meanwhile once the damned glass is done I have to wash it by hand because the dishwasher isnt working. Virgals just aren't as reliable as they used to be.

BUT... a pessimist rarely has an unpleasant surprise.
seraph
Posted by cowpuncher
Posted by seraph
Caps are simply natural pessimists. And they wear it like a badge, and expect you to be alright with that. They're the glass-half-empty type. When they're depressed, they wear it like a comfy old shoe. They have a natural heaviness of spirit which might seem that way to others, but it's just their own brand of happy. You either "get" that or you don't.

However, try to convince them that the glass really is half full after all, and they'll look at you like you fell outta the crazy tree and caught every branch on the way down. They need to come around on their own. You need to remember that they are *Saturn-ruled*, after all. Take it or leave it.




See... it's like this: Not only is that glass half empty, it's evaporating slowly as well even if you try to drink slow. It's also probably getting warm and flat if it's a beer. If it's water, you know what's in that stuff today? Speaking of which if it's beer or soda, it's got water and therefor all the crap in the water in it too! Meanwhile once the damned glass is done I have to wash it by hand because the dishwasher isnt working. Virgals just aren't as reliable as they used to be.

BUT... a pessimist rarely has an unpleasant surprise.


I knew you'd turn up. Always a pleasure, CP. Now you're the sort of Cap on whose coat-rack I can hang my Solar hat (!), in that you *don't* seem to be dealing with horrific insecurities 24/7. I think I can deal with a salt-of-the-earth Cap like you with more than a bit of success. I think (for you) it comes from being comfortable with your environment and working with it, and with all the creatures that are a part of it. I think anyone, signs be damned, will feel too apart from themselves if they don't or can't commune with nature.

"Grounding" is a term that is typically used only superficially, in that a lot of folks think it begins and ends with going out for a run or "burning off" energy on a treadmill. It really *should* (and does in my world) mean that you're to go outside and away from all the concrete, so you can be around things that come from "inside" the earth - and grow upward from it - rather than the stuff that's built on top of it. And the longer the better. Fears, insecurities, and a litany of everyday worries can melt away an
seraph
- and be put in their proper perspective in all that organic spaciousness.
cowpuncher
Agreed. Personally, I think if everybody had a garden and some chickens, we wouldn't need 3/4 of the shrinks and meds in this world any more. It does something for us on a very primal level. We are so civilized today that it's working against us imho. Our minds live with reality tv and concrete surroundings, but our bodies (and the deeper parts of our mind imho) are still those of pre historic hunter gatherers... like it or not.

If you have hunted for food, and grown your own food from the earth after tending it patiently, you get what I am saying. If you haven't, you don't, and wonder at times why you have a nagging feeling of something basic and important your soul is missing, and needing. Millions of years of evolution programmed us at deep levels that science still barely understands.

But the glass is STILL half empty with beer going flat, getting warm, and you have to wash it. Plus glasses are overpriced, and they break, and rarely appreciate in value. bah. *snicker*

SureShotCap
I am one of the coolest MF's around, but when I am pissed, not even GOD can change my attitude. I must isolate myself from everyone. It is nothing personal to anyone. Just have to power off and reboot.
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