Gemini men, what would you do in this situation?

cleopatra
The thought of hurting him by shutting him out and keeping him at arms length, really got to me. so I called him and told him I'd like to make it work together. He was really glad I called and we arranged to meet up tomorrow. thanks for your advice anearthygemini -
ShopClass
Great quote, AEG! I agree, if you need space, take it. But don't take too long.
ShopClass

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ShopClass
On the Gemini tendency to flit from one flower to the next: we are capable of doing this, if our emotions are not fully tapped into. Speaking for myself, I can quickly move on in said situation. If I have *gasp* let go and fallen heart first (not head first) into that rabbits hole of pleasure/pain, it will take a rescue squad to pull me out. It's rare, though.
cleopatra
I geniunely feel I need some time to see clearly. I havent been happy about certain aspects of my life for a while and feeling in a rut which makes me frustrated, and not a generally happy person. When I spend time with him I perhaps take offence to things too easily and misunderstand things which are said and assume the worst. (this upsets up and he gets defensive leading to big rows!) Because I havent been happy in myself I have lost my sex drive and even though I've explained its coz Im stressed and dont feel sexy no matter how much he tells me I am. I think I need to get myself in a better place.

The reason I asked gemini men because Im worried that whilst Im getting my butter together, what if he decides to give up on me? Im not saying all gemini men are the same but if people didnt have similarities in their behaviours then there would be no cause for Astrology message boards!
ShopClass
It depends on your intentions when you asked for space. If you are genuinely having issues that you need to sort out, maybe a break is what you both need. If you did so because you are testing him, because you are seeking a reaction, then it may not have been a wise course of action.
I'm not a Gem male, but I've been told by a partner that he needed space to clear his mind. I gladly gave it to him. My definition of "space" means no phone calls/texts/care packages with balloons and Teddy bears. A week or so later he angrily called me asking why I hadn't contacted him! I told him that I was merely complying with his wishes. It became apparent that what he wanted was for me pine after him. I did miss talking to him, but did as asked. In the end he needed to be with someone a bit clingier than I am, we parted eventually.
Are you testing him for reassurance? Or do you truly need the distance to sort things out on your own?
P-Angel
* a

epiphany
P-Angel
Posted by P-Angel

What has happened here is that you've decided to create a little drama and see what he does ... and he just said okie-dokie and let you walk .. and now you don't know what to do because that isn't the response you were trying to invoke in him.






That's ^^^^^^^^ obvious.


Because now you've decided it's just for a few days .. since he isn't cooperating in your attention seeking.
P-Angel
Posted by cleopatra

Im worried if we try and carry on as normal we might still continue to bicker whilst still getting our own butter together and we will be in the rut we are now.
Im not talking about a proper break apart but perhaps just non contact for a few days.





Of course. Because if you were mature and actually wanted to do some self healing, so as not to inflict your bullbutter onto him then your words would actually match your actions.

In reality, you don't want to fix yourself .. you only want to pull back for a few days to see if he comes running.

If you didn't want that then there would be no logical reason for this thread. This thread is in place to try and find out how a Gemini man would react to you gaming for his attention ... because your intentions were to really do some self fixing and in not harming him with this, so you wanted space so not to inflict it upon him, then you wouldn't have a need to find out about how this would be handled by other people.


He's being gamed by you .... hopefully, this epiphony comes to him.
cleopatra
misslissa - you do have some valid points about doing it together and I agree but Im worried if we try and carry on as normal we might still continue to bicker whilst still getting our own butter together and we will be in the rut we are now.
Im not talking about a proper break apart but perhaps just non contact for a few days.
cleopatra
p-angel you are talking through your butthole, I am not assuming he loves me dearly, he has told me that he has been in love with me since day one and had always pictured us getting married one day. I do love him back but this arguing is not healthy, and the root cause of our arguments is because we both got butter going on in our individual lives which is making us overcritical of any tiny problem in our relationship. I think we need to just take a step back and gain a little perspective.

Besides why are non gemini men answering this question, since you are neither your opinion isnt relevant to me so save your opinions for someone who wants them!
misslissa
why is it that ppl think they need to break off a "commitment" all cuz they need a lil "me time"?? i'm not a gem male, but have known a lot of them. can't say that i'm the expert, but he might be confused and wondering why you couldn't go through it "together".... which is a bonding experience. not to mention feeling utterly helpless cuz you have basically told him, by ending it, that he's not allowed to help any way he can, or he might think you're saying that he's incapable. so, how do you expect him to respond to that? other than respect your wishes.....
P-Angel
Another thing ..... you ask this question in here as if you are expecting some sort of action on the guys part, as it's relative to you breaking up. As if you are expecting a response other than what you got.


Is it because he let you go ... just like that? That now you want to gauge why?



That's leads a person to believe that you didn't want to break up .. you wanted to manipulate him into fighting to keep you should you decide to break up.

You said you have personal issues to work out, that you needed some you-time to work on yourself .. so what difference does it make what other people would do if you broke up with?


What has happened here is that you've decided to create a little drama and see what he does ... and he just said okie-dokie and let you walk .. and now you don't know what to do because that isn't the response you were trying to invoke in him.


He's being played by you plain and simple.
P-Angel
He isn't saying you are loved dearly ..... you are making that assumption about yourself, and then attempting to proclaim that he owns that sentiment.


A person who is loved dearly isn't going to be allowed to break up without a fight to keep.




So in reality .... your ego rules you, totally.
cleopatra
If your girlfriend of 2 years who you loved dearly but had been arguing with a lot lately because of both being frustrated with own lives, said its either over (because of heated arguments) or said we need to take some time to chill and clear our heads. How would you handle this?

I have told my boyfriend if we have any chance of making it work then I need some time to clear my head.
I think my own personal problems have negatively affected how I am in the relationship and I do not think trying to carry on our relationship as it is will work. Because things wont necessarily change and we could end up in a vicious circle. I think its best to not speak/see each other to work out what we really want. I need to sort my head out coz I know Im not happy with my own life right now. Once I feel more my happy content self then I have something positive to add to the relationship.

He has told me to contact him when Im ready to be with him again.

What do you think of this?

Right now I am taking a few days to work out my thoughts and also improve some demons I have within myself.

As a gemini man, what sort of future do you think we could have?





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