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male from Capritude
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male from Capritude
| Q: Why is the slippery ice like music? A: If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat! Q: What's an ig? A: A snow house without a loo! Q: Where do seals go to see movies? A: The dive-in! Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? A: Owlgebra. Q: What did the ocean say to the bergy bits? A: Nothing. It just waved. Q: What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes? A: A nervous wreck. Q: How do you know if there's a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet! Q: How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange? A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus. |
male from Capritude
No matter how cold you are, DO NOT attempt to build a fire in a kayak! You can't have your kayak and heat it too.  Before you criticize someone in the Arctic, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them and they get mad, you're a mile away across the ice - and they've got no kamiks! Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear - do not venture outside alone! One hour shoveling snow equals two hours on the Buttmaster. Arctic medical tip: If you're isolated in the Arctic and you have a bad toothache - just hit your thumb with a hammer. You'll forget all about the toothache. When it's tourist season, that doesn't mean that you can shoot them! You've heard of "bear bells"? First of all, they DON'T go on the bear. Secondly, for a polar bear, they mean "lunch is over here!" Never spit when you're facing a cold Arctic wind - you could take your eye out! |
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