Can a leo man handle an ultimatum?
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I met a stunning leo man 5-6 months ago, since then I find myself in some kind of "limbo" phase with slooow sloooooow progress. I just don't know where it leads and as an aquarius lady it freaks me out not to know where this "trip" ends.
He has sun: leo, AC: leo moon: leo, venus: leo
I have sun: aquarius, AC: leo, moon: capricorn, venus: capricorn.
since then we are pretty close, we see eachother mostly once a week since his worklife is crazy busy - however he tells me often that he never met someone like me and that he wants me around in his life for at least the next 20 years - however that's all nice but still he told me twice via txt (after 1-2 months)that he sees me as a friend etc (yes we do sleep with eachother and it's the very best, he always tells me that it's not normal how each time gets better and better and that this is the best sex ever in his life) I didn't sleep with him right away though! I let him wait 6 or 7 times!
BUT a month ago I met him at a club (unintentionally) and in our conversation I laughed and asked him "don't you like me anymore" and then he went all nervous, laughed and said "treetrunk no, I love you"
and I can see that love and affection in his eyes, still it seems he's afraid of something. (getting hurt?)
he never stated that he doesn't want a relationship - instead he hints from time to time things like "some things are worth the wait" etc and finally after 5 months of "whatever" you can title what we have, he asked me out on a date. he clearly labeled it as a date! went all well but from time to time he pulls back and also says things like "you appreciate some things more when you don't have them around 24/7, so when you have them back you enjoy them way more" - true. BUT I'm starting to lose my patience with him and I get more and more frustrated because he's kind of a mysterie to me.
ok I know that he def doesn't see me as just a friend and I know that he loves me BUT I want this to be official I want to hear that he wants me as his girl. (yes he gets jealous also, so I'm def not a friend)
So my question is, after almost 6 months of being patient, do you think it would be the right move to simply state "ok, you are the most interesting and amazing man on earth and I love you and I want to settle down with you, official/labeled etc - and if you don't want the same thing then I have to back off now. Come around if you really want me cuz I can't go on like this." then I'll back off and wait
|should I risk to confront him straight up with that kind of "ultimatum" - I know that he doesn't handle being pushed - but I hope you guys see my point. 6 months and it's soooooo slow - of course I'm so glad that it progresses eventhough. But I guess if I don't "handle" that right now with a strict and clear "yes or no" I'll hang in that limbo forever |
funny thing is he's very outgoing, charming, funny etc but around me he's pretty shy/nervous and I can def tell that I affect him (in a positive way) - like a little boy he smirks and blushes from time to time.
he mentioned a few days ago that we should go on a second date - I know sounds all positive. he is some type of man who needs to be lead, he even said it himself that he's way too shy to ask me out + REALLY DO it in the end. so I guess I have to take the lead and give him the oppertunity to decide - stay with me but in a real relationship or I'm gone.
Maybe if I do so he will realize what he had with me and will get some guts and go for second base finally. Just afraid of losing him because I push too much, but hey... 6 months already and he knows it damn well, I told him that I never was sooo patient with anybody! and then he replied "some things are worth the wait" bravo -.-
yeh I should mention that 2 weeks before we met last year he just came out of a 5.5 yrs relationship. but we clicked right away.. I'm glad that his actions are bigger than his words - but as a typical aquarius I guess I need it to be official in order to feel secure.
I guess if I was just a little side snack he would keep me around for 6 months... he often stated that I don't need to be jealous and that he only wants me yada yada yada...
still is it typical for a leo to guard up that much? I don't think a leo would keep around another lady for so long when she's just his "sex toy" + he so often tells me that he doesn't want anybody else "I can't even think about sleeping with another woman, all I want is yooouuu"
|*wouldn't keep me around for 6 months|
|oh and plus let me add this and I think this is very very much important: back then when we met and got closer I asked him straight up if we are some kind of "treetrunkbuddies, fwb or affaire" and he went all like "hell no" "nooooooooo" he refuses on his OWN that I title this as fwb!!! every man who just wants sex would be so glad when the woman comes up with this, right? (not that I told him I want fwb I was just curious what "this" is what we have) and he replies "we don't have to define everything in life, right"|
jesus, I don't know where I got all my patience from.. guess if I wouldn't love him so badly I would have moved on VERY soon!
HOW SHOULD I HANDLE THIS LEO? any further suggestions to my idea?
|I can't speak for the men, but as a Leo female, when I have been given ultimatum I usually go with what the person doesn't want me to choose.not to be hurtful, but because I let my pride get in the way.|
|yeh... thought so.. that's why I'm hesitating to do so. I don't want to be mean, but you get my point. I need to know if we are on the same level of what we want and need. "some things are worth the wait" won't feed my happiness for another 6 months|
|This is fascinating. I was getting over my 10 year marriage when I met an Aquarius woman. Things moved really fast which is where our stories differ. I was not 100% emotionally available when we met. I simply couldn't give her everything she wanted, although I wished I could. Every time I needed time and space, she came at me stronger. It would just push me away. I loved so much about her and the sex was unbelievable. We're both very passionate signs. In the end, she just couldn't be patient enough with me and after six months of us being together, she ran to another man. I was heart broken and it has been a mess for 5 months. I have finally moved on, but it will go down as a tragic love story. So be patient! I know it's tough, but if he is still dealing with the loss of his last relationship, he simply cannot give you everything yet. It does not mean he won't.|
|Try to have a conversation with him instead of giving an ultimatum. Ask him if his last relationship is still affecting him. Don't ask what the whole "worth the wait" means. If it is that, let HIM say that's why he's going so slow. Don't lead him into that answer or he will definitely give that answer to be done with the "conversing". lol.|
How old is he, btw?
Posted by Jackstobo
Your post fascinates me as well. Interesting that a guy can be unable to give 100%, but when it ends still be broken hearted. Hmm, wish I could stop analyzing my Leo, but not sure that's possible....
thank you so much for your replies!! you are right, I'll def try to keep up my patience and faith.
because I really do love him, never felt so alive and physically + mentally stimulated as with my leo guy.
he's 36 btw.
funny how he really gets jealous when I told him about my bff who loves me and he went like "I guess I hate him" (he laughed while saying this, he wasn't mean). I told him that we talked it out and that he's over me and he said "if he loved you once he will do so forever - well I would". he really often hints that he's very much into me, when he said that he loves me when we where at that club he wasn't drunk!! a lil tipsy maximum, so I guess he was honest with that. after that I txted him saying that I know he wasn't serious cuz of the drinkin and that he shouldn't worry that I take that serious. also told him not to answer me on that and I didn't bring it up again since then - hm maybe I should have done so....
I also told him that I told my mother about him and he was good with that, gladfully he didn't panic haha guess that would have been a sign that he's not serious at all.
I tend to be too attached, txt too much and show too much affection via txt, I guess I back off with that. I'm always trying to give him his space and wait for him to contact me again. Next time I'll try to ask him if he's still affected by his ex.. laidback as possible! maybe I should try to be more obvious by saying that I can't see myself with another man. all I wish for is that he gives me more security, I would wait forever if he would only tell me that he really loves me and wants me but simply isn't ready. but with a big questionmark in my head it's sooooo difficult to handle.
I slept at his place 3-4 times till now and he always says that this is the best, falling asleep and waking up with me - he even showed me how he could fall asleep most comfy : me placing my hand on his back head. I take this as a huge sign of trust and closeness.
|He has a stellium. People with stelliums in their charts usually lead very lonely lives. Their personalitltes are just too dominate.|
That is way too much Leo for any one person. They would not be willing to compromise. Maybe willing is the wrong word. They are not capable of compromise. It is going to be their way or no way. Remember Leo is a fixed placement as is Aquarius. Someone is going to have to give in and it will not be him.
Nonetheless, good luck.
|what do you mean by stellium? sorry english isn't my native language. his way or no way - I know what you mean! But do you mean he wants me to wait or he is just not into me & relationship?|
I'm very compromising though especially when I know it will bring us further than being stubborn. So I guess an ultimatum would be the wrong decision... hm but how can I find out where he really stands? Guess straightly asking him will push him into a corner. wanna hear something super embarassing and stupid? I wrote him a 36 pages loveletter after I knew him for 3 weeks - yes, I know I know... facepalming myself till now but I really feel soooooo deeply for him and it's just perfect when we are together. of course he totally backed off even after all the public holding hands etc - I told him back then that I "blindfolded" my emotions and that I'm cool with it now - so I made him come back, without feeling any pressure. of course I could blind my feelings and they are leaking more and more now. he often says that I give him something he didn't have for yeeear: peace of mind. when we talk on a deeper mental level we always click till we can almost finish eachothers sentences. crazy how it clicked right away. when we met he let him be introduced to me via his bff, he told me the last time he did it that way was when he met his ex. so I know I'm special to him...
would you go back to ask him about saying "I love you" ? when I told him I know he's not serious I just did that to not pressure him!!! he also said he never had an affair (can't tell if it's true) but he had 4 longterm relationships til now, so he def is a relationship leo. that's why it's confusing me that he keeps me around for almost 6 months and still he doesn't take it a step further.
Posted by Nala13
Gulp. Mine is Leo Sun, Leo moon...no idea about Venus, but this scares me even.
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