How's leo handle with BREAK UP relationship

ArieHun
Hi..

I'm aries and my ex bf is a leo. I dumped him after 5years in a relationship. No third party involve, but he was just insecure which leaded to so much arguments and unhealthy relationship. This leo was actually such a great and nice person.
Would you guys share any experience on how's leo handle with break up? I am worried about him seems kinda depressed a lot. I still care about him but, no more love...
Chatz
agreed....we'll retreat to our "cave"for a little while and come out stronger and ready to find something/somebody new
ArieHun
@splitnconfused

I really hope he can think that way too. Do you still want to get back to your ex, even he/she never want it? My leo really wants to start over it again. He did so many crazy things that scared me so much when i refused to get back to him again... Is there any thing could stop him being that way. I do really want know how can i do as his ex gf to make him stop behaving like that? Is ignorance actually works to stop leo guy? I feel so bad about myself..
seraph
Getting back together means the very same things that broke the relationship might become problems once again.

Read again what you wrote here:

"He did so many crazy things that scared me so much when i refused to get back to him again."

Sounds rather destructive. You might find *problem men* attractive because you believe you can fix them, and that's fine. Some women love to turn a guy into a project. Just keep in mind that you'll probably have the same project on your hands as before. Do note that there is a big difference between "changing" a guy (Leo, in this case) and doing things to "calm the savage beast."

You can't really *stop* anyone from being a certain way, just encourage modification through *your* actions and/or exercise greater acceptance.

For me, it always comes down to whether she can understand my ego, know when to stroke it, know when to leave well enough alone, and have the generosity to accept its different shades.

For instance, I remember one of my exes (we parted unintentionally, long story) . . . she was a Leo herself, but an August Leo (I'm *just* into Leo by 0.07.) When I would get into a foul, frustrated mood - argumentative, wilful, etc., she would simply put her hand on my shoulder or neck and just stroke me, saying softly "shhhh . . . it's alright" (no word of a lie!) I'd immediately soften and quiet down. Sh didn't fight, didn't battle me, didn't push her point. She just started stroking me gently. Then I shifted my attention from my ego to her, and I'd get close to her.

The useful tools that come with acceptance.

So all in all, it really comes down to that: you can only look to your part and determine whether you are willing to accommodate. Is/will the payoff be enough for you to accommodate what will very likely be the same person you left? Can you cultivate the tools to meet his needs at the moment of difficulty, so they can, in turn, be more open to meeting yours?

There is no ridding yourself of his Leonine ego. That is a basic trait that will always be there. Keep in mind, it is also the source of a lot of *good* things as well.

delishhh
Really depends on how much we care for you.
seraph
Posted by delishhh
Really depends on how much we care for you.


You can say that about any sign.
seraph


Seraph, just in case you might still have doubts..you are indeed very Leonine..


It's nice to have a place to call home. Even if you're barely in the door.
ArieHun
Posted by seraph
Getting back together means the very same things that broke the relationship might become problems once again.

Read again what you wrote here:

"He did so many crazy things that scared me so much when i refused to get back to him again."

Sounds rather destructive. You might find *problem men* attractive because you believe you can fix them, and that's fine. Some women love to turn a guy into a project. Just keep in mind that you'll probably have the same project on your hands as before. Do note that there is a big difference between "changing" a guy (Leo, in this case) and doing things to "calm the savage beast."

You can't really *stop* anyone from being a certain way, just encourage modification through *your* actions and/or exercise greater acceptance.

For me, it always comes down to whether she can understand my ego, know when to stroke it, know when to leave well enough alone, and have the generosity to accept its different shades.

For instance, I remember one of my exes (we parted unintentionally, long story) . . . she was a Leo herself, but an August Leo (I'm *just* into Leo by 0.07.) When I would get into a foul, frustrated mood - argumentative, wilful, etc., she would simply put her hand on my shoulder or neck and just stroke me, saying softly "shhhh . . . it's alright" (no word of a lie!) I'd immediately soften and quiet down. Sh didn't fight, didn't battle me, didn't push her point. She just started stroking me gently. Then I shifted my attention from my ego to her, and I'd get close to her.

The useful tools that come with acceptance.

So all in all, it really comes down to that: you can only look to your part and determine whether you are willing to accommodate. Is/will the payoff be enough for you to accommodate what will very likely be the same person you left? Can you cultivate the tools to meet his needs at the moment of difficulty, so they can, in turn, be more open to meeting yours?

There is no ridding yourself of his Leonine ego. That is a basic trait that will always be there. Keep in mind, it is also the source of a lot of *good* things as well.



Seraph, thank you for such an honest opinion

Actually i have showered him lot of affection and attention in our relationship before. He always said that he never ever can give back about the same amount with i have given to him. I am aries, love is re
ArieHun

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

ArieHun
Posted by splitnconfused
Posted by ArieHun
@splitnconfused

I really hope he can think that way too. Do you still want to get back to your ex, even he/she never want it? My leo really wants to start over it again. He did so many crazy things that scared me so much when i refused to get back to him again... Is there any thing could stop him being that way. I do really want know how can i do as his ex gf to make him stop behaving like that? Is ignorance actually works to stop leo guy? I feel so bad about myself..


Personally whether I'm the dumpee or the dumper once it's over it's really over..I can't speak for all Leo's and I'm not sure if it's because their pride usually gets the best of them but somehow they usually let bygones be bygones more easily than other signs. Your Leo might not want to let go of you because he's either a control freak or very clingy. You mention that he's done things that scared you..people don't really change especially if their behavior is due to a character flaw. Don't play games with him by ignoring him, he won't like it. You'd be better off severing ties if you're sure that you no longer want to be with him...



@splitnconfused

Actually, my ex did tell me the same thing- he actually left his exes and never contact them again.. I really don't whether it's true or not when he said to me 'you did teach me to be that way, and now i can't live without you....'
So, my fault again...
ArieHun
Posted by splitnconfused
Posted by ArieHun
Posted by splitnconfused
Posted by ArieHun
@splitnconfused

I really hope he can think that way too. Do you still want to get back to your ex, even he/she never want it? My leo really wants to start over it again. He did so many crazy things that scared me so much when i refused to get back to him again... Is there any thing could stop him being that way. I do really want know how can i do as his ex gf to make him stop behaving like that? Is ignorance actually works to stop leo guy? I feel so bad about myself..


Personally whether I'm the dumpee or the dumper once it's over it's really over..I can't speak for all Leo's and I'm not sure if it's because their pride usually gets the best of them but somehow they usually let bygones be bygones more easily than other signs. Your Leo might not want to let go of you because he's either a control freak or very clingy. You mention that he's done things that scared you..people don't really change especially if their behavior is due to a character flaw. Don't play games with him by ignoring him, he won't like it. You'd be better off severing ties if you're sure that you no longer want to be with him...



@splitnconfused

Actually, my ex did tell me the same thing- he actually left his exes and never contact them again.. I really don't whether it's true or not when he said to me 'you did teach me to be that way, and now i can't live without you....'
So, my fault again...


You must be very special to him..don't blame yourself for that..c'est la vie, he can't make you love him if you no longer do and you can't feel responsible for it..



Is that means i am ethically allowed to ignore him just like that??
He did mess his job, hurting himself, even threaten me so many times.. His family and friends too (all of them just like my family and friends) always told me how depressed he was.
But he did that after breaking up. Sounds too loud that i'm the main reason he became that way. I did ruin him... That's why now i still give him some good responses even though i really don't want to do that way because i exactly don't have any feeling
ArieHun

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

seraph
You're not responsible for his inability to come to terms with the vicissitudes of life.

Read what you wrote:

"even threaten me so many times.. His family and friends too (all of them just like my family and friends) always told me how depressed he was."

It's pretty clear that what he needs (therapy/time alone to grow) you can't give him.
ArieHun
I have refer this to so many people... and i almost got the same answers then.

But, i still want to believe that i could possibly do something to him without referring to counselor, psychiatric, or even police cases. I don't want hurt him or his family (whom i feel like mine too)by giving kind of humiliation of doing that.

Yes. It is COMPLICATED since i'm into someone else right now, whom i do really want to be with forever...
seraph
Posted by ArieHun
I have refer this to so many people... and i almost got the same answers then.

But, i still want to believe that i could possibly do something to him without referring to counselor, psychiatric, or even police cases. I don't want hurt him or his family (whom i feel like mine too)by giving kind of humiliation of doing that.

Yes. It is COMPLICATED since i'm into someone else right now, whom i do really want to be with forever...


It's complicated, yes. But it;s complicated because you're choosing to make it complicated.

Focus on the new man and drop the guilt you're feeling over the Leo. Do nothing at all about the Leo. You'll have to leave him be.

Easier said than done for some people, but it's what you have to do. And keep in mind, the more emotionally you involve yourself with this Leo's life, the more you will poison your relationships going forward. If you're into this new Libra man, then be happy about it - no guilt, no hesitation.

It might take some time for you to come to terms with this, and by all means, take the time. If you need to throw a little tantrum, or spend the day being sad about it, then do it. Let it out. But let it out and leave it there.

Good luck.





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