But if the lying complicates the relationship, shouldn't we be honest enough and tell our SO the truth, no matter how it hurts?
Absolutely.. and I feel this is one of a Libra's "challenges" as a Libra... to learn that even "hurtful" honesty is better than the smallest "white lie"... especially if with someone who values honesty over being "protected" from harsh truths. My Libra and I have finally reached the point where I feel he's finally learned this.. but there have been a few bumps along the road... little white lies and unmentionables along the way. Sometimes I felt like I was talking to a wall, over and over telling him that i want FULL disclosure... but he finally got it through his head.. I MEANT that I'd rather hear the TRUTH, always. I wasn't just saying I wanted the truth, but then reacting like a cookiemonster or a drama queen over it. Yes, if the truth hurt me (like mentioning the 10 lbs I've gained.. jerk! Who wants to hear their ass is getting fat?! lol) I SAY that I'm feeling a bit hurt, weird, uncomfortable, disappointed, whatever about the information.. but I never make him regret telling me by going Defcon One on his ass.
Keep telling him (calmly) that you want the TRUTH always.. that even the white lies hurt more than the painful truth, and damage trust. It WILL sink in eventually.. it's not that he's stupid.. it's that he has to relearn or change behaviors he's always had.. he has a natural tendency to gloss things over, to soften the blow, to "protect" peoples' feelings - and avoid confrontation with his lover. Give him some time to learn to adjust and to believe that you REALLY want the truth AND that you won't make him sorry he told you the truth.
Libra guy and lying...
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