Libra man, cannot handle Scorpio woman's emotions?
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|I am a Scorpio woman having an affair with a Libra man . His wife is seriously disabled. It started because he seemed to need me so much. That was ten years ago. In all of this time I never put any demands on him, accepted that our time was limited because we are both professional people by day who have commitments in our personal lives. He gradually fell in love with me, and my love responded to the love in him. The sex was awesome. We had little time together once per week but when we were together, we were very happpy , lighthearted and deeply in love. Our relationship gave us both the strength to face our lives apart from one another. |
What went wrong? I developed a crisis in my life of the most serious nature. The last time I saw my Libra man, after we made love, I broke down sobbing. I felt that I could not tell him. He said, "We will talk about this next week" in a manly, firm way as if "this conversation in which you get to tell me what's wrong IS going to happen next week." I was relieved.
So then I started cleaning my house, fixing it up, setting the stage for our conversation, making the atmosphere right, with clean house, fresh flowers, ...
Then on the morning that he has always come for over 10 years, he didn't come.
I was devastated.I needed him so- He called 30 minutes late to say, "I've had an emergency".... He followed this up with "I didn't want to leave you hanging, I just now have been able to call." My reaction was one of the deepest hurt. I felt as if I had been stabbed... He said, "I really wanted to be there with you" ... as if this had shifted back to his need for me because of his disabled wife, as if my problem , my need for him, had been forgotten... so I said cruelly, "Oh, what goes on here between us doesn't matter" and he panicked, I could hear the panic in his voice, the fear that he was losing me, he said, "It matters to me" . I said, "well, not to me" and I hung up.
I then put him on block sender, & deleted his phone #'s. I sobbed for days... why can't he ever be here for me? Is it always going to be that I have to be alone when I hurt while he takes care of a sick wife and works his job, which I do understand- he had told me that he loves me, cannot face life without me, that he lives to be with me, that he wants me forever.... BUT... he doesn't seem to be here for me when I hurt. Am I not giving him a chance or do all Libra men avoid the strong emotional stuff especially from strong Scorpio women?
|Ok......based on what you said he did not abandon you. Something came up and he called to tell you, apologized for calling late and suggested he would rather be there with you than doing what he was doing. |
You can't ever say for sure, but these things point to him telling the truth here and not being able to meet you. If, if he was avoiding you the way you reacted is going to affirm his will of avoidence. If you want to have that conversation with him you need to articulate that you acted out of character, your emotions got the best of you and your sorry.
For everyone who jumps in to point out the obvious distaste for the situation..I know, i don't care. Advice is advice.
|Why would you over react like that?|
* why can't he ever be here for me?
because he is married to someone else.
* Is it always going to be that I have to be alone when I hurt while he takes care of a sick wife and works his job, which I do understand- he had told me that he loves me, cannot face life without me, that he lives to be with me, that he wants me forever.... BUT... he doesn't seem to be here for me when I hurt.
You are his distraction from the seriousness of his life. You are more a fantasy he can escape into than a real person.
|***I then put him on block sender, & deleted his phone #'s. I sobbed for days... why can't he ever be here for me? Is it always going to be that I have to be alone when I hurt while he takes care of a sick wife and works his job, which I do understand- he had told me that he loves me, cannot face life without me, that he lives to be with me, that he wants me forever.... BUT... he doesn't seem to be here for me when I hurt. Am I not giving him a chance or do all Libra men avoid the strong emotional stuff especially from strong Scorpio women?***|
10 years? You have been going through this for 10 years??? Clearly you accepted the circumstances. He is'nt leaving his wife, and he is one person and can't be there for the both of you at the same time. You have accepted this circumstance, which is very sad. Being a scorpio, it is hard for me to believe you are willing to be "the other woman" this has never been an option for me or any other female Scorp I have known. Wow!!! Take it as it is or leave it. Being a Libra he is never going to leave his disabled wife. Out of commitment he will stand by her.
|I'm the Scorpio woman who wrote this original post. I do not consider myself "the other woman." Nor does the man think of me as a "fantasy." . He is married to keep her on his insurance policy. I am a professional woman, I have my own insurance. I have no need, nonewhatsoever, to be a wife. So there is not a reason for this man to divorce the wife just to marry me. The only thing that would be accomplished is that she ends up without insurance, therefore the State has to support her. Why is this a good idea when this Libra man has to pay hundreds per month for this insurance policy, with or without the disabled wife on it? |
I am not the "other woman", I did not have "inappropriate emotions" for which I should apologize. I needed his support, he wasn't there for me because Libra men just aren't there for the tough times emotionally. Yes, they will stick with their responsibilities, pay the insurance policy, keep gas in the car, be there to pick the kids up from daycare, but if you're in a crisis, and really need someone to help you emotionally, look somewhere other than a Libra man.
I have learned that everything is life is a trade-off and that goes for relationships. The same person who will get up every day, go to work to buy insurance for a disabled wife he no longer loves is not the same man who can handle the strong emotions of the woman he does love. Just like the guy who is a great dancer and lots of fun to be with might not be a good provider. Or the woman who is a great cook and excellent mother might not be a housekeeper or might not be a sex cat.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Finding someone to share your life with is partly about figuring out what you must have in order to be happy and what areas you can cut some slack in..... Nobody gets everything in one person. That's just the way it is.
I have told this Libra male to "hit the road", "go back to your wife if she means that much to you" , .... repeatedly he begs me to take him back. I do love this man. But I also realize that for a Scorpio woman with a Libra male , my cup is not full.... and I also realize that it won't be with any man. If I want my cup to be full, which I do, then I've got to have different people .... several...
I need a lot, I give a lot in return. Libras just do not have much to give emotionally. They are honest , steady, non emotional, gentle, accepting, non demanding.... they are the cogs in the wheel that keep everyday life running smoothly... but they are not the warriors, Scorpios are. Just as Sagitarrians are the clowns. This Libra man is a good sort.... as I suppose all Libras are....
he just isn't emotionally strong, not like a Scorpio anyway. I sometimes think that if a wild tiger were coming after us, I'd be the one to fight it off , but the Libra man would make sure that the remains were properly disposed of and the hunting permit paid.
|I'm the Scorpio woman who wrote this original post. I do not consider myself "the other woman."|
|I agree with possom. If she is the woman he loves, and a scorpio would know if she is loved or not, then she's the number one woman in this man's life. If some man keeps another woman on his insurance policy, so what? If a Scorpio woman sez "this man loves me" then the man loves her, period. Ain't no way jose a scorpio is delusional when it comes to being loved. I have carefully read these posts. possom is right: the libra man just did not help her with this crisis whatever it was. I don't think possom was asking for asking just venting. She as a scorpio female would know that this libra man loves her but he's not strong in a crisis. And she would also know that nobody on this board would have better advice than she could give herself. She was just venting. When she said "why isn't this man ever there for me emotionally?" that was when she had not accepted that a libra man just cannot equal up to a scorpio woman in the emotional arena. Very few men can. There is no way that this woman is either delustional or asking for advice. She's number one with this man. No doubt in my mind. The wife is just history hanging on by a piece of paper, not a marriage licence, an insurance policy. This scorpio woman knows that love is about sex and emotions. It ain't about no marriage license nor an insurance policy because some man feels sorry for you. Snappy has spoken.|
|although I dont at all agree with this situation I do believe this quotation which has been shown time and time again on this board:.|
"Yes, they will stick with their responsibilities, pay the insurance policy, keep gas in the car, be there to pick the kids up from daycare, but if you're in a crisis, and really need someone to help you emotionally, look somewhere other than a Libra man"
They make wonderful friends, as long as you're not emotionally involved
LMAO Atom, we're not that complicated
|Let me get this straight. Are we to believe that a scorpio female felt insulted by ANY man, libra or no, and this man is still alive? Wow. Now that's one for the books, I do say. lol Or maybe this one scorp is moving in for the slow kill? Nah. If she were going to roast him alive, she'd pick a more worthy opponent that a Libra, right fellows? Oh about the "other woman" stuff? Does anybody really care ? I see no mention of children so I assume they're grown or don't exist in this triage. A "seriously disabled wife" is no competition for a Scorpio woman, but then I cannot imagine any woman who is. I'll bet this Libra man got his butt spanked a few times. Probably what he kept going back for, what else could it be? |
|"Take what you want and leave the rest". That's my motto with any man. If you don't have children or don't want children and if possom can pay her own bills then she shouldn't have to get married . She can have this libra man for whatever good he is, that much I don't know. She can find another man for any other need or desire that she might have. Possom doesn't have to worry about "what the rest of the world thinks" as long as she's got her own money. If she isn't bothered by the "wife", then I'm not either. All I care about is whether people who have children support them. That's the point of marriage. No children, then who cares about marriage.|
|Do we have any indication that the scorpio woman wants to marry this libra man? |
She told us that she is a "professional woman." Perhaps she is married to her job? It could be that this scorpio woman would slap the libra man down if the wife dies and then the libra man shows up saying, "I'm free now." People always assume that the woman is jumping to get married if only the man will ask her. That's hardly the case. Note: this is a middled aged woman who wrote under nickname Possom. That's pretty old to be desperate to get married.
|This "case" reminds of that Terry Schiavo in Florida, was it? Remember that one? |
the woman was in a coma for years, the husband went on with another woman, had kids by her . The husband and the "other woman" seemed to love one another. The wife was in a coma from , was it? diet pills? The husband fought to have the wife unplugged. The "other woman" went to help with the wife's care. The Supreme Court got involved? I don't remember all of the details but it was during an election year. The conservatives fought to keep Terry alive. When someone says "seriously disabled wife" , I thought of this case. I'm a guy. I would hardly consider a woman in a coma for years to be my wife even if she had been a wife at one time. And I would want to find someone else to love. This kind of wife should not keep people apart who love one another and sociey should not condemn.
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