My Libra man broke things off

1/23/2009 12:52:55 AM | More
wildorchid

47 years old female from Oregon  

I am a very "intense" complex person; us

Help!! I am in such a quandry I dont know what to do. My Libra and I met, fell head over heels in love-at first sight, yes, I know-stupid. But, we said we're not kids anymore, we are both what the other is looking for etc. So, within a week, we've moved in some of my stuff. We had the privilege of having 2 solid weeks together, as he was only 1 week into a 3 week vacation. So, it was nice to be able to really get to know each other. He tells me upfront that he'd had something going with a lady at work, but that it was over, she wasn't up for moving in the same direction-long term-as he was so it ended. He even made a point to introduce us-he said so I wouldnt feel threatened. I certainly was not, she was UGLY!! And, drama, I couldnt believe everything she was telling me. She has severe trust issues with men and just couldnt trust him enough that he would take care of her. She would have had to quit if they continued their relationship and she wasnt willing to do that. Well.. I come into the picture and apparently after that happens all of the sudden she has interest in him again. After he breaks up with me, he tells me she had been making contact with him in a variety of forms. I'm sure phone, email, office conversations etc. So he has a short business trip coming up and he had told me early on he doesnt have many through the year, usually just at the beginning and as long as my schedule allowed it, i would be coming along with him, so I would know there was nothing going on while he was away. Well as it gets closer to the trip, he still hasnt made the travel plans yet. When he does, he doesnt tell me. When I say something about it, he had made them at the office a day or so before. And since he waited so close to the time the ticket was very expensive and so only he would be going this time, but he thought we probably needed some time apart anyway. Ok, well would have been nice for him to talk to me about all that. Now, mind you we hadnt been having sex all that often either in the week leading up to the trip, but we do have sex that morning before he leaves. He decided not to go into the office that morning and stay home with me. He did need to go to the bank to get some money for the trip, but he was gone for an hour and a half and its just down the street. I started to wonder what was up. He hadnt been feeling well for days. Turns out it was because he was all stressed. So, he leaves on his trip and I stay at the house with his teenage boys.....
1/23/2009 1:14:47 AM | More
wildorchid

47 years old female from Oregon  

I am a very "intense" complex person; us

cont...
He tells me he will call when he gets there. I understood that to mean when he got to the airport, as it was a 2.5 hour drive. So i called and got his voicemail. He did call that night, but only talked for a little bit, said he was exhausted and he would call me the next morning. He didnt call. He did call later that day though, setting my mind at ease and then called again that night. All total, we probably only talked for 15 min the entire time he was gone. From Tues noon until he returned Sat at noon. So, I am skipping some of the details at this point. So he gets home Sat at noon and I am super excited he is home, I run to greet him at the door and tears well up in my eyes I am so happy he's home. We hug at the door for awhile and then head upstairs. He isnt feeling well still and lays down and we talk. He starts to say he's been doing a lot of thinking on his time away and he is wondering if we jumped into this too quick and maybe its because he doesnt feel well he doesnt know what he's feeling or thinking and a bunch of other stuff. Of course I'm scared now because of what he is saying and I ask him if he wants me to leave and he says no. He takes a nap and I am left feeling like my world is crashing down around me. When he wakes up he says he needs to go to the office and check on things, he's sorry, he knows Ive been waiting a long time for him but he'll be back in a couple hours. He shaves before he leaves-which I thought was very strange as he looked like he had either that morning or the night before. I couldnt understand why the guys in the shop would care if he was clean shaven. So he leaves. Around the usual time, I go and make dinner, something real nice for his first night back. Usually he calls when he is on his way him and I know I have 30 min to have everything all finished. By 6 he still hadnt called-he should have been back home a long time ago, so I call and have to leave a voicemail, i call again, leave a voicemail and again-now I'm gettig worried. I decide to go ahead and feed his son and drive over by the tavern he likes to hang at thinking he stopped off there and lost track of time-he wasnt there. Now I'm really worried. I call him again, this time its 8pm and I say I've left several messages and so has his son and hes not calling back and now I am really worried, please call. About 15 min later I get a call and he says hey girl check your email and he hangs up. So I check my email, and this is the worst email anyone cou
1/23/2009 2:52:59 AM | More
Arpim

My heart goes out to you. A girlfriend of mine had a shortish relationship with a Libra, and he promised her the world, marriage, children, a future. Then he changed his mind and dumped her. Just like that. She didn't understand the world anymore. She got a text message saying it's over and that was the last she heard from him.

It's an attitude I definitely can't get my head around, because it's cruel, but for some reason they don't seem able to see this.
1/23/2009 3:50:23 AM | More
Bella79

female

wildorchid, I am really sorry to hear what has happend to you

HuGs.
1/23/2009 7:07:55 AM | More
zenalchemy

sorry for that...

My heart goes out to you. A girlfriend of mine had a shortish relationship with a Libra, and he promised her the world, marriage, children, a future. Then he changed his mind and dumped her. Just like that.

this is an air sign... their actions speak more than words... they're are zodiac communicators so can string together the most beautiful promising words... remember when next involved with an air sign...
1/23/2009 8:14:18 AM | More
U`C`ME

Rebound girl..

1/23/2009 9:47:39 AM | More
a muse a libra

I want the rest of the story!

I'll tell you this: I have dated men (I'm a libra woman) who I move very quickly with, who I feel very passionately for from the start. Love-at-first-Sight or something like that. But then, all the glitter rubs off and I'm left after about 2 weeks, with just a normal guy who does normal things. And then, I start to suffocate.

It's not his fault though, because I led him on, I thought it was what I wanted. It is a situation I created and I want out! I try to let him down nice, but there's just no nice way to do it...and it has to be done immedietely.

I know this hurts a lot and I am so sorry for your situation, but I think he had all good intentions when you started out, and suffocated himself by moving too fast.

Libras need the courtship of dating, the romance, and a little mystery to build a good relationship. Moving in after a week was fatal for you, it left none of those things for him to enjoy.
1/23/2009 11:24:18 AM | More
wildorchid

47 years old female from Oregon  

I am a very "intense" complex person; us

Thank you all, I've gotten a wider perspective on ideas and thoughts since posting on here. Today is better, tomorrow who know, I guess I concern myself with tomorrow.. tomorrow. I'm sure I could still go into a lot of detail, fill in some of the missing pieces, but, I'd rather not throw anymore of my trash out there. believe me, I already feel bad enough. I thought the 2 of us were going into this as adults. It was also my understanding he didnt just end things with the gal at work, but then again, I didnt ask specifically, so who knows, they could have. I really have learned my lesson big time this time around. I'm going to take my sisters advice and not date at all for one year. Work on myself, get my head back on straight and back where it was before this all started a month ago. Thank you again, one and all.
by the way, I am Virgo, 9-7-67 and he 9-29-67.
1/23/2009 2:33:15 PM | More
eagwstinggirl

94 years old female

did he change his mind again?

is everything fixed?


reading about all that calling and voicemailing made me feel suffocated. driving out to the tavern looking for him? yikes.

anyway, hopefully, things will turn back around when he is feeling better and has had time to breathe and think more about it.
1/23/2009 5:12:55 PM | More
wildorchid

47 years old female from Oregon  

I am a very "intense" complex person; us

I'm sorry, I did not realize half of my con't story didnt post. He called finally close to 830pm and said hey girl check your email, and hung up. I checked my email and in it he said he'd had time to think while away on his trip and Ann-his office manager who he'd started something with while he and his wife were still living together and had since broken things off decided that now she was ready to proceed with something real-sure now that he has moved on and happy-but obviously not because he left me for her. His email said he would not be coming back home that night. Oh, and he said he wanted to help me out financially with a gift of $2,000 to help me with my bills for the next couple months since he knows things are tight for me in that area and I would once again be starting my job search over again. (Kinda made me feel a little like a hooker-he paid me for being there with him) I tried calling but only got voicemail. Of course I'm confused, scared, many emotions. Needing answers, wanting to understand etc. He says in the email to let him know what I want to do, I can stay in the house for a time if I need to, or if I never want to see his face again, I can go on back to my moms and he will bring my things to me later. I dont want to leave without my stuff-who knows if I'd ever see it again. I finally hear from his the next afternoon. he tells me he turned his phone off and wasnt checking email-which I'm pretty sure is a lie. But doesnt matter anyway. He tells me he will be home later that night, he really needs to get a good nights sleep. He calls 2 hours later and changes his mind and says he isnt coming home afterall-just thought he would let me know. So I tell him fine thats his choice, but he better call his children and tell them as its not my responsibility to tell them their father once again isnt coming home. He came home the next morning real early to get ready for work, came in the bedroom, came over and hugged me, told me he was sorry etc and held me while I cried. As he left to go to work he said he would be back between noon and 1pm to move me back to my moms. When he gets back home that afternoon, I have all my things packed and ready to be loaded. My emotions are running really high, I am not wanting this to happen, i just want to awaken from this nightmare, for him to say he's sorry, he doesnt know what he was thinking, he made a mistake and we will work through this. We headed toward my moms, 2.5 hours away, stop once along the way..
1/23/2009 5:26:07 PM | More
wildorchid

47 years old female from Oregon  

I am a very "intense" complex person; us

the last thing on my mind is eating-in fact by this point I havent eaten in over 2 days. We get to my moms, he unloads my things from the back of his truck, I ask him if he needs to use the bathroom before he leaves, he does. I am waiting by the front door when he comes out. We stand there and hug, both of us crying, I'm asking questions and he is somewhat answering them, but really nothing other than him saying he's sorry he's made a mistake and lets go home-will I feel any better at that point. I tell him what happens when she puts the brakes on again, because he knows she will, she has done it so many time. And will he call me if it doesnt work out. he says he will and will i please stay in touch and let him know how I am doing etc. I'm sorry people but this man's behavior isnt telling me this is something he's 100% sure of. I have been thru breakups before and they have never ended like this. Its always-dont let the door hit you on the way out type of thing. I got the feeling from him, by his words and his actions that he did still love me. I will agree this whole thing was really ***** of him to do, doing this by email, hell doing this at all. He never should have accepted her advances to get back together period. He did so many things wrong and yes I did wrong by moving in so quickly I know that. The biggest thing I am struggling with is this: does he just have to a need to see once and for all if this whatever he has with her will work or not because if he didnt follow thru he would have always wondered.. or he is just your typical man, letting his little head do the thinking. I do not believe for one second that the love he showed me from the time we got together until right before he left on his business trip was a put on or a lie. he was in this as much as I was, probably more. he was the one doing all the pushing.and moving me in with his boys at home. I feel so bad for his boys. They had gotten used to having a "mom" around again and to have another one just up and leave in such a short time.. it kills me to have been the one to do that to them... anyway, I hope you can sort of put the pieces together now. I did still leave out some of the details, but a jist of it is here. I havent heard another word from him other than in one of my emails to him since he moved me back, I'd mentioned I didnt know if he was reading these or not, he did reply with I have read and thank you, praying for you as well. I wont contact him anymore, for my own sanity,

1/23/2009 5:50:22 PM | More
USCTaurusGal

female

I'm really sorry to read this. Take care of yourself, but as others have also written; hopefully this will benefit you in your next relationship, so you know to pull the reigns back if things are moving too fast. As one poster said, when something starts so heated and fast, it can burn out pretty quickly too. I know the thrill of a new relationship is all great, but that's the way it should be at the beginning. It's when reality of a real "you gotta work at it" relationship comes to light that you really see the caliber of the person you are with, and at that point you can tell if the are the real deal or not.
1/23/2009 6:40:52 PM | More
wildorchid

47 years old female from Oregon  

I am a very "intense" complex person; us

I said that in the heat of emotions.. that was only a couple days after all this has happened and yes I realize I am making excuses for my own actions/words. However if you have never loved someone so deeply and been loved by them back-you would understand how I could feel that way. Isnt that what forgiveness is all about? Granted, its now been almost a week since all of this happened and I am getting better day by day, letting go. Believe, if this man called me right now, it would not be a pleasant experience for him. I know I am worth so much more than how he went about all of this. I was/am looking for different peoples take on the whole situation and trust me, many of you helped me to see things I hadnt been thinking, so thank you.
1/24/2009 4:55:33 PM | More
Thairis

female

Oh Wildorchild, nice name!

I am truly sorry to hear your story.

No words harsh or critical from me a female Libra. Just know this. Love at first sight is ok. Just don't mix with the moving in together/family part so early on.

Make the magic of the relationship last by keepin it easy going at first.

Please be well and don't think for one minute you are the first one that this has happened to.

I am sure your heart is Golden, please don't think all men (Libra's or others)are all this way.


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