Will Libra male come back
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|Just wondering really, if when Libra men do the disappearing thing and end up saying they dont know what they want. Do you they ever come back or is that it done and dusted.|
Could you tell me the worst and best things to do to get him back. Thanks x
I have been going through this for 8 months with my Libra...I have asked for endless advice from the people on this post and they have all told me the same thing, he is not ready, move on...I did move on, but he kept contacting me and kept hurting me because I let him..Now I just want to be friends and he wants more (now that i'm dating someone else)...but because he has hurt me so much and I let him do this, I am now unsure of a relationship with him...I have seen a side of him that is very cold-hearted and plain mean..
I no longer trust him like I did before, I will continue to be friends and we have a business relationship as well, but that is all I have to offer him...The more I distance myself the more he wants me, but I know it's just a game...And if by chance it is real, it is too late..
So, my advice to you is that if you really care about this person, leave it alone and move on...If it is real he will come back when he is ready...If you continue to see him and contact him when he is not ready he will continue to hurt you...And chances are you will not want him in the end, the heart can only take so much...
Don't try to get him back...
|yep what is meant to be is meant to be...you can't force it. Get on with your life and be happy...that is the only way |
hurt-heart I am so proud of you - you have come a LONG way
|Wow! HURT, I do not know you but I am so impressed. For sure women who have the same trouble with their libras will benefit from your advise. Like me. |
|Thanks for your message hurt heart.|
He dissappeared for 2 weeks didnt call me back. I left him to it. After a week he was driving past my house! Actually drove past me i pretended i didnt see him and beeped me at the bottom of the road. He even stood in the middle of a dancefloor blatantly staring at me for a 30 secs. I again pretended i didnt see him. Id had enough by 2 weeks so i text him asked him out for a drink he said he was ill how am i etc.. he should be well next week. About a week later i text him saying shall we go for a drink this week. He then replied not sure we should not sure i want anything at the min!! Before his dissappearance he was totally into texting, speaking seeing me every week. Making grand gestures, presents etc. So what the hell happend! Anyway i said fine i can see i meant nothing to you by the way you have just dropped me. He said it wasnt like that he just doesnt know what it is he wants. I text back saying i thought he was the most amazing guy id ever met and make sure he stays special. He replied that was so nice and for me to take care x ???? Its been 4 weeks tomorrow since that message. Ive changed my number deleted him as a friend on facebook and i havent been anywhere near where he goes. Im hoping he'll realise hes made a mistake and come back. Do libras do that from your experience. I promise i wont go after him. He hurt me so much i couldnt do it if i tried.
When your libra finished with you at first how long did he take to come back? If you dont mind me asking sorry! Was it when you were getting on with your life etc.. xx
The tables have turned now!! I feel really good and he's freaking out...Sometimes I feel sorry for him but then I remember how much he hurt me...He could have chose to leave me alone and come back when he was ready, but he didn't...He is still trying to hurt me by lashing out, last week he told me I was mad at him because he didn't want me before and then 10 minutes later he asked me if I would have a baby with him and be his family...
He is really confused and i'm just fluffing it all off...Life goes on!!
There was times when we didn't speak for over a month to month and a half...And I can't tell you how many times he wrote or said take care!! How impersonal. he even emailed me once and told me to have a good life...My libra is going through a divorce and his wife cheated on him, he pursued me and then freaked out...He has come back a few times and told me that he is just scared and when I bite he backs off again..Not buying it anymore!!! If he really cared about me he would have worked through his fear and made it work..I wonder if he has abaondment issues, he has said some pretty weird things and asking me to have a baby with him is really weird...He already has two little kids and my daughter is 17...He has told me numerous times that he dosen't want more kids...
So this leaves 3 options: He is afarid that if we are together, I will eventually leave because he has small kids and mine are grown up, having a baby would ensure another reason to stay..
He is trying to see if I (as he says) still dig him...too boost his own ego
or he is just plain treetrunked up...
Months ago, I would have convinced myself it was number one option...Now I 100% vote for number two and number three...Boosting his ego and treetrunked up!!!
Michelle honestly, you will drive yourself nuts analyzing everything he says and writes..
talk to chatz and queenscorpio, they have lots of good advice to give..
I must admit I do still have a strong attraction to him, and I probably will slip up in the intimate part, actually already have, but the emotions are gone, he can't hurt me anymore...
|with that kind of behavior and treatment, michelle, why would you want him to come back? a man in love with you or who at least respected you wouldn't do those things to you. when he texted "take care" and didn't bother to call you or contact you for 4 weeks, that was your sign to move on, so do it honey - do it!|
If he can't give you the respect you deserve, at least give it to yourself.
|Michele: "Anyway i said fine i can see i meant nothing to you by the way you have just dropped me. He said it wasnt like that he just doesnt know what it is he wants."|
HH: "If he really cared about me he would have worked through his fear and made it work"
Michele .. I've told you before, and HH, that Libras can't be dealt with this way to have a successful relationship with them. There are other signs who would respond within your expectations if they are approached with backwards guilt .. but, not Libras.
Backwards guilt = if you cared, you would do (this)
Since you did (this) it means I don't mean anything to you
They process EVERYTHING logically .. will wiegh every word, every intention, every tone, every hidden meaning .... when you said that to him and he said he didn't mean it that way and then backed off further .. now he's sitting back acknowledging that you tried to guilt him into saying that you do mean something to him .. and a Libra will NOT react to this in the way in which you expected. Instead, they will pull away further.
If you do move-on, which it looks like is your only choice at this point .. then don't play with him to get an emotional response, such as it appears HH is doing .. "The tables have turned now!! I feel really good and he's freaking out" ....... a persons heart isn't a game. It shouldn't be about getting even, or some kind of score.
Certainly, your heart is aching, and I'm sorry about that ... but, just make sure you don't do something horrible, like feeling good about any pain he may be suffering ... if you're moving on, then doso with memories of when the union was beautiful, and not for the purpose of making him suffer for hurting your feelings. That's just treetrunked up and will damage your own soul.
There is no throne ... if you have an attitude of thinking you're a Princess and he is to bow down to you .. then you've lost him. Libras just don't cater to Primadonna's .. if he senses that you believe how you feel supercedes how he feels .. then you've lost him.
I so know what your talking about i completely agree. Usually id be like hes a loser and move on. But i just cannot work out how he feels about me to move on. I dont believe he could possibly spend the whole of valentines weekend with me taking me out, wanting to see me etc.. and then dissappear cos he dosent care about me. My poor little brain cant understand it lol.
Why on earth drive past my house, and stare at me on the dancefloor if he doesnt care. I dont get it! All his mates incuding him said he doesnt usually be the way he was with girls. I just wonder if i scared him off. I told him to leave seeing me the week after valentines as he was chickeny with me on the phone. The thing is maybe that was my intuition saying uht no thanks.
Ive also changed my mobile number literally a week after he sent that aww take care x patronising message. So i dont even know if hes tried to call but i do know if he was that bothered he would come to my house. I dunno its been 2 months since him disappearing i cant get him out of my head! I hate it! I keep analysing how he was with me. I,m nearly 28 had 2 serious relationships and lots and lots of flings. Ive never met anyone who i thought was so amazing and real it wasnt all bullb*tter talk or anything just how he was with me. The little things he did. I want to call him right now! Lol... I need help! lol.. I hate feeling this way if he aint bothered but i just feel it in my stomach that he does care. If he cares he will come back to me wont he? I have to just get on with it and hope it makes me stronger x
|P Angel. I miss him so much. I just wish i could make things right. But i cant. Everything i seem to do seems to be so wrong in your eyes. |
Its actually been left really nicely. I told him he was the most amazing guy ive ever met and that i will miss him. I said to him to make sure that he stays special and keep singing really loud.
I didnt expect a reply ie - trying to make him feel guilty as you keep saying i am. I was trying to let him know i thought the world of him whatever mess ive made of things and to let him go as i cant force him to do something he doesnt want to.
He did reply however, he said that is really nice, aww take care x
Ive changed my number a week later as my ex of 4 years got hold of the number. So i dont even know if hes tried to contact me in these 4 weeks.
I want to contact him and make everything right but I cant! if i do that then i know it will make things worse. So please stop telling me im trying to make him feel guilty! Cos im not! and if hes going to dissappear on me for me mentioning things that hurt me hes never wanted me!
I just wish i never met him, I think he makes me cry everyday for 2 months. Its pathetic that im hurting so much over someone who cares less about me
|"Everything i seem to do seems to be so wrong in your eyes."|
First of all, Michele .. he is not here, you are. I cannot respond to anything he's done or said, because he isn't here to answer for himself. Something has gone wrong with this relationship, seriously wrong ... and no blame or reason can be speculated, for to doso would be unfair to him, since he is not present for accountibility. You are.
"So please stop telling me im trying to make him feel guilty!"
What you said to him was for that intent.
"Anyway i said fine i can see i meant nothing to you by the way you have just dropped me."
I'm sorry if it hurts, but, it's the truth .. when you said that to him, you did so within a motivation of wanting him to say something emotional to you which suggests that you do mean something to him.
My purpose in saying these things to you isn't for finding fault, or trying to place blame .. it's to let you see what the motivation is behind .. the psychology. People, mostly women, use emotional manipulation .. and I'm guilty of this, too .. so, this isn't about anything you've done wrong .. it's just about pointing out psychologically, what happens when certain behaviour is expressed.
And women DO do this .. all the time. Our emotions are so deep and intense, and we want to be wanted so damn bad .. that we use how we feel about the guy against them to get them to respond within what we need to feel loved.
My words aren't about who is right or who is wrong .. they never have been, even with the original thread you started about Matt. My aim is only to point out within what you post, as to areas in which need to be analyzed so that you can try to find out what has gone wrong.
People come to these boards all the time, saying they need help, they need advise, they are confused ... but, what they are really looking for is someone to side with them compassionately, and only tell them what it is they want to hear to make them feel better. And I won't do that .. if someone is asking for another for insight into what happened, then I'm going to tell them ... call it brutal, if you choose, but, it's also the truth.
And the truth is ... what has gone wrong with this relationship is all about attitude, and not deeds done. I told you this from the very beginning. You are expecting a certain treatment from him, and to get this treatment, you are using emotional manipulation which is backfiring on you .. it backfires with all women
|Think about this from reverse .. what if a guy told you .. |
"Anyway i said fine i can see i meant nothing to you by the way you have just dropped me."
Then turned around and sent you a text saying ..
"I text back saying i thought he was the most amazing guy id ever met and make sure he stays special."
Mixed signals right there ... one side infers "treetrunk off", the other side infers "I love you".
This is an manipulation, Michele, to get him to respond to you emotionally. And women do it all the time .. and I tell them all the time about it. Every relationship we have fails because of it, and we turn around and do it again, and again, and again .. because we just want to be wanted, to be loved, and will use or say anything at our disposal to get him to respond to us emotionally.
And .. I'm telling you .. a Libra cannot be dealt with in this fashion. People (women) go through this all the time .. they come in here saying that their Libra won't tell them they love them, or pulls away and acts indifferent, or says they don't know what they want .. and I tell all of them ... their treetrunking Libras .. they will NOT respond according to percieved expectations that are expressed with any kind of emotional guilt or manipulation.
Again .. this is about the psychology of it. You said you wanted help, and this is real help. It isn't a shoulder to cry on, or taking sides in any way ... it's about the emotional differences between two people, and some of the things that need to be pondered if you really want to know what has happened that went wrong.
If you want to know how to fix it, then you have to know what has gone wrong .. and the only thing I can respond to is your part you played in this because you are here, he is not.
|P - Angel|
Yes i understand.
The sentence i sent him was:- I thought i would text you after a couple of weeks as i thought that this was all over nothing. But now i see by the way you have just dropped me it was me that meant nothing.
Perhaps i wanted him to justify why he dropped me yes and maybe realise that it wasnt nice. As not calling someone for 2 weeks then saying 2 weeks after that when i ask him to go for a drink. Not sure we should not sure i want anything at the min.
I couldnt believe how cold and mean he could be (is that me being demanding again).
I wasnt intentionally trying to trick him or make him feel he should be with me out of guilt.
He replied to the text saying its not like that its just that since we were together i just dont know what it is that i want and to go back to how things were would be unfair to you.
My idea of a brief explanation i was ok with that rather than his pathetic not sure at the min text like i was a one night stand!
and thats when i said he was amazing etc..stay special and that was that.
Honestly p angel how can i mess things up with my attitude if im clearly making the effort to put it right. He mustnt want things to be right between us.
Can i really have put him completely off me with one text cos thats when he dissappeared!
It hurts so much that i thought we had something special and im beginning to see now we did not.
Im feeling so deluded at the minute. If he really cared about me hed be with me wouldnt he. So why am i suffering over someone who doesnt care. The truth is i think he does (like i said deluded lol) and im holding out for him realising he does want to be with me and comes back.
Im ok with your comments you can be as harsh and honest as you must. Just believe me when i say i wasnt intentionally trying to do what it is that it appears to you im doing. perhaps i need to think about how i come across but the intention isnt there honest xx
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