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Can someone explain Libras in relationships to me?

 

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pisces1213
10/6/2009 12:10:29 PM | IP

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Ok Im not a Libra nor am I dating a Libra, but a few of my friends are Libras and I just wanted to understand them more in their dating ways. For example, my best friend of five years (She's 19) always throws herself into relationships in which she sees her bf EVERY SINGLE DAY for hours on end. But at the same time she tells me she's scared of love and committing to one person and stuff. And my other friend (around 23) does the exact same thing and acts incredibly lovey dovey with his girlfriend and spends every day with her and basically neglects all of his friends. But when it comes to actually loving the girl it's different. He told me that like 5 months into dating his gf she told him that she loved him during the middle of sex and he just stopped and walked out the door. That just seems so heartless!

So can someone explain this to me? Why do they seem to always throw themselves into serious relationships and completely focus on their bf/gf but still be scared? It's really weird to me. Im a Pisces and even I think that they tend to focus on relationships too much and see their significant others a little too much. But somehow they're still able to cut their emotions off or something. Always looking around for something better?
pisces1213
10/6/2009 12:21:23 PM | IP

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Oh and my Libra friends always seem to love to date around all the time. After a break up they throw themselves into dating reallllllly quickly. It's weird for me cause Im the type to get really attached and stick to relationships for the long term rather than just a few months. My best friend seems to always go through a break up within three or four months with every relationship. The longest relationship she has been was probably just six months long.
spica
10/6/2009 12:36:12 PM | IP
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What interesting observations, Pisces!

"But when it comes to actually loving the girl it's different. He told me that like 5 months into dating his gf she told him that she loved him during the middle of sex and he just stopped and walked out the door. That just seems so heartless!"

I may not be right, but I think that when they spend alot of time with someone, it means they really like them already. 5 months may be too soon. Also, 'i love you' can hold alot of expectations that said person is not ready to meet. Sometimes, "I love you" means "you're the one", or "I want you to marry me". And this can make someone stop short and look for the exit. It does not mean they eventually would not spend the rest of their life with them, but the decision needs to be a slow one. At least the pace where libra is comfortable with.

"even I think that they tend to focus on relationships too much and see their significant others a little too much."

There is the thing called co-dependency. Libra may fall into it more often than other zodiac signs. But yet, they know that it is a very huge imbalance. They are looking for individuality within a partnership, spending too much time with someone actually is a tendency they are trying to curb from experience.

"But somehow they're still able to cut their emotions off or something. Always looking around for something better?"
They cut their emotions off because they realised they have melded too much with someone and want to retain their individuality.
Not looking for someone BETTER per se, but looking for someone more compatible, or their ideal.
nicodemus
10/6/2009 5:36:23 PM | IP
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I'm not sure because even though I am a Libra and I like spending a lot of time with my gf that is about as far as I can relate in the situations you described.

Keep in mind that some people use the word love and the meaning of the word differently than others.....What I can say that when it comes to Libras all that I have known including myself have a very serious and distinct definition of the word and it doesn't get used lightly.

I have been in relationships where I would have walked out on someone who told me they loved me or at least had a similar reaction. The ones where things were agreed to be slow and casual between the both of us. I was in a relationship like this....the girl told me she was falling in love with me, I told her that we should probably stop seeing each other then. But from the start I was clear in that I was not looking for serious or heavy.
 
acrossTheGround
10/7/2009 10:06:55 PM | IP
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Well, I can definitely relate to wanting to be with my significant other allllllllllll of the time.
I cannot relate to the "Love" part. I fall in love (I think, at least) with all of them.
I know that isn't very helpful. I'm not a very well balanced Libra.
I'm actually here for some support on this problem haha
little_sparrow
10/9/2009 11:47:51 AM | IP
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* my best friend of five years (She's 19) always throws herself into relationships in which she sees her bf EVERY SINGLE DAY for hours on end

'Cause they are young and that is what young girls do.

There are people I date who I LOVE, then there are people who I date who I really, really, really, REALLY like and really, really, REALLY wish I loved. When it is the latter, it can be very confusing and I tend, in my optimism, to think things will change.
curious visitor
10/11/2009 2:14:48 PM | IP

25 years old female from tampa area, florida  usa  

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Posted by little_sparrow
There are people I date who I LOVE, then there are people who I date who I really, really, really, REALLY like and really, really, REALLY wish I loved. When it is the latter, it can be very confusing and I tend, in my optimism, to think things will change.


yeah. i've been there too. the second are the types i've run away from. i actually didn't even realize i did this. but i do. i guess we don't like to admit to the dark sides of our personalities.

i'm a lot more likely to fall for someone, spend all my time with them, then have them hurt me. but it's totally happened both ways.

codependency is definitely a libran trait. we need that close relationship with one person. it's our nature to pair up. we need attention. we need to feel wanted (not needed, we usually hate that, which is why we can leave certain relationships when they get too serious). we need something to do with our time, someone to do things with.

it's the basis for most of our friendships too.
nicodemus
10/12/2009 11:17:38 AM | IP
nicodemus

26 years old male from Arizona  

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Posted by little_sparrow
* my best friend of five years (She's 19) always throws herself into relationships in which she sees her bf EVERY SINGLE DAY for hours on end

'Cause they are young and that is what young girls do.

There are people I date who I LOVE, then there are people who I date who I really, really, really, REALLY like and really, really, REALLY wish I loved. When it is the latter, it can be very confusing and I tend, in my optimism, to think things will change.


Yeah this is definitely a Libra thing. All of the Libras I know including myself have let a relationship go a lot longer than it should have out of hope that we would fall in love with the person.
ramfishtwins
10/15/2009 10:29:22 AM | IP
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Posted by pisces1213
Ok Im not a Libra nor am I dating a Libra, but a few of my friends are Libras and I just wanted to understand them more in their dating ways. For example, my best friend of five years (She's 19) always throws herself into relationships in which she sees her bf EVERY SINGLE DAY for hours on end. But at the same time she tells me she's scared of love and committing to one person and stuff. And my other friend (around 23) does the exact same thing and acts incredibly lovey dovey with his girlfriend and spends every day with her and basically neglects all of his friends. But when it comes to actually loving the girl it's different. He told me that like 5 months into dating his gf she told him that she loved him during the middle of sex and he just stopped and walked out the door. That just seems so heartless!

So can someone explain this to me? Why do they seem to always throw themselves into serious relationships and completely focus on their bf/gf but still be scared? It's really weird to me. Im a Pisces and even I think that they tend to focus on relationships too much and see their significant others a little too much. But somehow they're still able to cut their emotions off or something. Always looking around for something better?


Wow...good observations! My Libra BFF is exactly like this. She will throw herself (way to quickly) in a relationship and forget everyone until it turns to butter. It's good to know this is probably just a libra trait and not just cause she's insane! It's so true that she's still scared about committing. I'm hoping this gets better with age?? Who the hell knows I think they are in love with the idea of love and when they find it, they are scared to death and end up jumping ship.
ramfishtwins
10/15/2009 10:31:11 AM | IP
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Posted by pisces1213
Oh and my Libra friends always seem to love to date around all the time. After a break up they throw themselves into dating reallllllly quickly. It's weird for me cause Im the type to get really attached and stick to relationships for the long term rather than just a few months. My best friend seems to always go through a break up within three or four months with every relationship. The longest relationship she has been was probably just six months long.


My BFF has someone even before she decided to get a divorce. It's like the thought of being alone scares them so much that they have the courage to end a relationship only after they've found a new one. Why the treetrunking rush??!!
ninjamu
10/15/2009 3:20:37 PM | IP
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27 years old female from seattle, USA  

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Posted by little_sparrow
* my best friend of five years (She's 19) always throws herself into relationships in which she sees her bf EVERY SINGLE DAY for hours on end

'Cause they are young and that is what young girls do.

There are people I date who I LOVE, then there are people who I date who I really, really, really, REALLY like and really, really, REALLY wish I loved. When it is the latter, it can be very confusing and I tend, in my optimism, to think things will change.


exactly! my ex libra bf of 7 years and i got together when we were very young (me: 19, him: 21) and we did just that. we became super close super quick and spent almost every waking moment together for months. he was enrolled in a kung fu class at that time and he kept skipping out on it to be with me. even i was encouraging him to not do that. i think this is mostly a maturity thing.
silentdoll9
10/18/2009 9:52:33 PM | IP

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Hey all of you libras out there, can you please tell us how do you act when you are in love? What do you do? Do you idealize your future together (yours and your bf/gf)? Do you talk to your bf/gf everyday? Do you make big efforts to go and spend time with them? Do you look at other girls/dudes while walking on the street? or do you only have eyes for your partner? Who has more priority, your friends or your bf/gf?

Do you ever think of cheating? (I read you guys are prone to that) .What makes you cheat? Do you cheat because either you have the perfect bf/gf infront of you and you are bored? or because you are not getting what you want/expect from that person?

I will appreciate your responses, I need to convince myself that my Libra boyfriend is genuine, we been together for 5 months and everything seems too good to be true and being a Sagg I tend to have lots of doubts.
sagiluv
10/18/2009 11:38:25 PM | IP

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curious visitor
10/19/2009 4:37:59 PM | IP

25 years old female from tampa area, florida  usa  

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Posted by silentdoll9
Hey all of you libras out there, can you please tell us how do you act when you are in love? What do you do? Do you idealize your future together (yours and your bf/gf)? Do you talk to your bf/gf everyday? Do you make big efforts to go and spend time with them? Do you look at other girls/dudes while walking on the street? or do you only have eyes for your partner? Who has more priority, your friends or your bf/gf?

Do you ever think of cheating? (I read you guys are prone to that) .What makes you cheat? Do you cheat because either you have the perfect bf/gf infront of you and you are bored? or because you are not getting what you want/expect from that person?

I will appreciate your responses, I need to convince myself that my Libra boyfriend is genuine, we been together for 5 months and everything seems too good to be true and being a Sagg I tend to have lots of doubts.


when i'm in love, i freak out about saying the wrong thing, and end up giggling anytime i try to talk, especially if i've got some intense feelings for that person. there's this little smile i'll get, kinda mona lisa type of smile, with my head tilted a bit (always to the right), and soft eyes. not sure about the tilt, but otherwise, ever libra i know does this.

talk/spend time everyday...i'll want to, but it depends on how much time there is, how schedules match up, etc. usually, i'll try to spend as much time as i can with them, with a day or two off here and there, since my brain on love is not capable of taking care of practical matters, so i have to get away from that in order to do the laundry, pay bills, etc. one thing for sure though, that person becomes the only person i want to be around, and i usually ignore everyone else. this is bad, though, because it makes breakups very lonely. friends aren't a priority. not even close.

idealize a future...yes. idealize them...no. i notice flaws, and if they aren't too bad, i just accept them.

looking at others, yes. but with an artistic eye. no fantasizing. i just like to look at pretty things. sexually, no one has a chance.

cheat...no. i'd only do that if i were with someone i didn't like, and i'd rather just be single. however, i'm not above a partnership of convenience, it would just have to be very "convenient" to be worth it, and i definitely would cheat. i'd be tempted to cheat if i wasn't happy in a relationshi
ConfusedOne
11/6/2009 9:44:54 PM | IP

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Posted by silentdoll9
Hey all of you libras out there, can you please tell us how do you act when you are in love? What do you do? Do you idealize your future together (yours and your bf/gf)? Do you talk to your bf/gf everyday? Do you make big efforts to go and spend time with them? Do you look at other girls/dudes while walking on the street? or do you only have eyes for your partner? Who has more priority, your friends or your bf/gf?

Do you ever think of cheating? (I read you guys are prone to that) .What makes you cheat? Do you cheat because either you have the perfect bf/gf infront of you and you are bored? or because you are not getting what you want/expect from that person?

I will appreciate your responses, I need to convince myself that my Libra boyfriend is genuine, we been together for 5 months and everything seems too good to be true and being a Sagg I tend to have lots of doubts.


When I'm in love I do not see any flaws all I see is the person that I love, yes I spend days day dreaming and nites fantasizing about our future, anything I have is that person's, I trust him endlessly (until I'm given reason not to) If someone walks by then I see them but I am not looking or watching for anyone that walks by, my man is my priority but he understands and respect my friendships... the only time cheating becomes a thought is if I suspect he is cheating and he does not take the time to reassure that nothing is happening.. I am not clingy but I am clingy as long as he communicates with me and remains doing the samethings he did in the beginning through out then there are no worries... We Libras sometimes tend to fall in love with the idea of love so much that we don't notice that what we are living and what we are day dreaming are too seperate things.. and then expect the individual to live up to those fantasies and are extremely disappointed when they dont live up to them...

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