How do you lead a Bull?

Laughing at some of the comments here!

I didn't so much mean lead her as lead the relationship. This is what she has said she wants.

She is a strong and independent woman who demands respect, but also likes to be taken care of and expects a man to woo her. She realised that I needed a little help and told me, off the record, what she expects from me, so I was just looking for some pointers. I have always been the kind of guy who likes to treat a lady well and look after her, but my ex, who was a Leo, didn't like being looked after and said she found it patronising, so over the 8.5 years we were together she gradually filtered this behaviour out of me. My Taurus lady wants me to be the kind of guy that I always was before, and which I always wanted to be, but I am having to re-learn how to be myself having been so constrained for so many years.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
you can't push a bull.....and you can't pull a bull.......but if you know what you're doing,we can be coaxed.

Ha ha, so true. It's a delicate operation, but one which I am slowly learning to perform. Learning how to handle this woman is becoming a delightful experience

BellaBulleautiful

11/4/2009 12:00:29 PM | IP

41 years old female from A view of you making an ass of yourself.

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you can't push a bull.....and you can't pull a bull.......but if you know what you're doing,we can be coaxed.

ianthefish

11/4/2009 10:09:13 AM | IP

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actually cant say ive had any bad experiences with female bulls.. sorry to disappoint...

the reason for my response was actually cause the op words things weird sometimes, either i dont follow, or i just dont like his style....

either way, just because i could lead a bull on a leash, at least for awhile, doesnt mean thats how they want to be treated...

bluelilac

11/4/2009 8:22:37 AM | IP

female

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show that you are in control and yet open and willing to have the initiative to understand and observe what she wants.

this way, you seem to lead and she will surely follow- because you are able to nail what she wants to begin with.

xangelfishx

11/4/2009 5:11:16 AM | IP

27 years old female

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no, ian's right - we're not tameable, you have to walk beside us, never ahead. Face/off is an awesome movie by the way.

xangelfishx

11/4/2009 5:08:35 AM | IP

27 years old female

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Come up with what she wants before she does. You should know her and what she likes, so be the one to make the "right" [i.e. HER] suggestion first.

castorandpollux

11/3/2009 5:16:49 PM | IP

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VirgoM20,

I'm a Gem/Taurus cusper with a Taurus rising and all my planets in Taurus. I agree with what everyone's saying, with the exception of the last poster who has apparently had a bad experience with a Taurean female.

You're over-thinking, just do. Just be the man and let her be the woman. She's probably sensing this in you and it may be turning her off. We like a man's man who is self-assured but not in an arrogant way. She wants you to respect her but respect for a Taurus female is not tantamount to allowing her to run you rough shod, which we will do - believe you me - if you allow us to. And then we will slowly start to resent you for it because we need and want resistance from a partner and before you know it we've lost interest. Listen to Bella's advice, it is spot-on. We will respect you for not backing down when it's reasonable.

RainingPeanuts summed it up very nicely: We want to be wooed, which generally consists in you, the man, pursuing and us reciprocating. Do not confuse this with passivity; consider it a traditional view of courtship. You plan and she'll participate; in her mind, the very fact that she's even participating is to her a clear indication that she is interested in you; and so, she may be wondering why you are not assured about her interest level. Do you see? In her mind, her presence ought to indicate her interest in you. And so, if you begin to question her interest level, this comes across as insecurity on your part which will be off-putting for her. In other words, you're trying to gauge her interest level because she doesn't seem to be participating in the way that you would think an interested woman would, while she's thinking to herself how insecure must he be that I'm gracing him with my presence and accepting his invitations and he's wondering whether I'm interested?!

So, stop worrying, get on your stallion, and go woo your woman.

I hope this sheds some light.

ianthefish

10/31/2009 12:28:33 PM | IP

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i didnt know you could put a leash on a bull....

good luck with that..

VirgoM20

10/31/2009 10:47:20 AM | IP

35 years old male from England

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Bella, I do care for your advice and I find it very helpful. I think what you've said there almost perfectly describes the way she has come across when advising me how she wants to be treated... she wants to be respected as a strong and independent person, but she also wants a man who will lead the relationship, as opposed to lead her.

Anyway, I've just spent two-and-a-half hours with her and we had a lovely time. We had coffee in a cafe next to a big park and then went for a walk round and then sat for half an hour or so on a bench together, all of the time chatting and laughing and being playfully tactile with one another. I'm glad we've seen each other again because when we're together it really does feel like there is great chemistry between us. I could be totally contented just gazing into her eyes for hours on end and I adore everything about her. I just find her achingly irresistible and she is so playful, always teasing me and picking up on little things that I say and do and making jokes of them! I'm sitting back at home now with a really soft gooey feeling inside me feeling really happy.

I'm next seeing her on Friday evening if she can get someone to babysit her daughter, so I'll think of something good for me and her to do so that I have a decisive plan ready.

BellaBulleautiful

10/31/2009 10:01:39 AM | IP

41 years old female from A view of you making an ass of yourself.

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I get the feeling you don't care for my advice alot,but I'm stubborn so I keep throwing it out there....

I'll tell you what it would mean if I was telling you what she is.first off,I do agree with the girls who've already spoken...but to add to that...
We love sensitive,sweet helpful men yes,but not a doormat. I think she is trying to tell you that before she went cold on you last time you were more self assured and she liked it.you let her steam roll over you before by backing off and backing down,which turns us off.we don't like weakness because we are very strong women.we don't want to be led around by the nose...and believe me we won't be,but we want men that can go toe to toe with us and not back down most of the time.sometimes you must back down lol,and you will know these times...but don't be nervous and back down to soon.in other ways be sweet and caring and helpful,but always stand your ground.and yes,it's nice for strong people to have someone else make small decisions sometimes like when and where we are going.

venusrules

10/31/2009 7:43:24 AM | IP

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I completely agree with you raining peanuts! Virgo's have a great deal of integrity....are responsible, dependable, genuinely caring, kind, thoughtful and so helpful! ....when a Virgo say's " do you need help?...they're already there beside you helping you screw in the joints of the "needs assembling" tent when the rest of your "camping buddies" have abandon you to go fishing! *sigh* I've always said the world needs more virgo's! And with regards to your topic...I agree with raining peanuts

RainingPeanuts

10/31/2009 6:35:15 AM | IP

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And when I quote him, "No, if you want ______ we'll go there"

He says it in that firm, masculine Virgo fashion. Literally, I have no choice. How adorable is that?

<-- I am smiling. Virgo makes me smile.. I can't help it.

There is one word that always comes to mind when I think of Virgo.. Integrity. I admire that.

Anyway, off topic now I guess.

Relationships are about finding the other person so just be yourself.

RainingPeanuts

10/31/2009 6:27:04 AM | IP

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"This should work then. I do have a strong character. I have firm beliefs and will stand up for myself. I can also be quite stubborn. That said, I am a quiet person who is very tactful and polite and a complete gentleman, but underneath all of this I am nobody's fool and nobody takes advantage of me."

I was definitely going to mention this. You beat me to it lol Virgos DO have a strong character...

Although, for a second you had me thinking maybe you were an exception but ok no, I believe you

My Virgo is a light hearted and easy going person as well. As a matter of fact I LOVE the fact that he is willing to change
the plan if I happen to mention that I'd love to do something else... I might say something like "I didn't mean right now,
I know you wanted to go ___" and he'll say "No, if you want ___ we'll go there"

That's superb.

He will stand his ground and he will stand up for himself which I completely respect.
And well, I can't bullbutter him if I tried. And YES, Virgos are STUBBORN, you do not get enough credit for that!

RainingPeanuts

10/31/2009 6:11:36 AM | IP

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To be in a position of power means to be a little more selfish, a little more self-centered,

a little more egoistical..

a little less care, a little less concern for the needs and wants of others .. because ..

things are going to be done the way YOU think they should be done, the way YOU think

is best for yourself AND others.. just because YOU are right.. just because YOU want it

that way. You can justify it.. or not.. you have the power.

So if you want to be in power, there's a mentality you should be willing to adopt... to an extent

.. what suits you

VirgoM20

10/31/2009 6:05:35 AM | IP

35 years old male from England

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Posted by RainingPeanuts

I think it just means we let you take control..

Although I think the word "control" itself is misleading. We like to be wooed.
We want you to be the man, don't ask her where she wants to go.. just tell her
you're taking her out to ____ .

Yes, this is what she has said. I do try to be decisive and make decisions for "us" rather than expect her to arrange things.

Posted by RainingPeanuts

It's in that sort of context I think. Traditional male and female roles.
That's what I, myself, would mean ..

Yes, traditional male and female roles. She has also said this.

Posted by RainingPeanuts

We like a man with strong character.. not to be confused with inconsiderate, rude, overpowering

This should work then. I do have a strong character. I have firm beliefs and will stand up for myself. I can also be quite stubborn. That said, I am a quiet person who is very tactful and polite and a complete gentleman, but underneath all of this I am nobody's fool and nobody takes advantage of me.

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