sorry message got cut off......last part should say truly happy in the end.  |
ugh...why do you guys do this
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Posted by Nefer Wow, Nefer that is very beautiful....sad, but beautiful. If I were ever placed in that position, I could only hope that I would have the strength to do what you did. Well, I am far from being a Pisces, so probably not.  Fedupgirl: That must be a very difficult situation you are in. I hope things work out for you and that you are truly happy in t |
| Wow Nefer, you hit the nail on the head so to speak. That is exactly how I feel in so many ways. I am treetrunked either way. P-Angel, thank you for your insight. In my other thread I was just venting after an extremely bad day and unless you deal in life/death situations at work it is hard to explain how emotionally draining it can be. It was just one of those nights that were beyond butterty and I came home to more butter and I lost it for a few hours. Nothing more. Yes, the bottle of wine helped lol but I rarely drink at all. I was just wallowing in my own self pity which is why the post was "just need to vent" I can assure you that I KNOW I have wondeful friends and family who love me and care about me. I went to counselling first and foremost to help me deal with telling my girls I was leaving and to deal with all of that. He made me feel gulity, how I was going to ruin their lives forever and made me scared. I ended up pushing away my soul mate and sacrificing true happiness for my girls. The trip was an attempt to try and make something of a marriage I do not want and rest assured I would be there with my pisces in my mind and heart. It was the counsellors suggestion to help me get over my broken heart and repair the marriage. I have a very full life, am very active, volunteer and have a fulfilling career, wonderful friends and family (most days lol) What is missing is TRUE LOVE and the spark which was never there with my husband. I do not need rescuing or anyone to carry an emotional burden. We are two people who found each other by accident, with backgrounds so eerily similar who understand each other and what it FEELS like to be us. I cannot help the circumstances or timing for when we met. I can only hope that things can be fixed in time. |
| Pisces people are extremely perceptive .. I would warrant that he already knows this to be true and is the reason why when they are together, he nurtures her feelings. When he is away from her, he continues his normal life that doesn't involve being deeply submerged into her emotional turmoil, however, she is always this deeply submerged, so she cannot fathom how he can be so casual, flippant towards this issue at hand ... issue being her emotional hopelessness which has left her despondent to the people who really matter in her life. This man is her diversion so she doesn't have to face herself, her life .. and he knows it. For if he really wanted her to be rescued from herself then he would have swooped down and taken her away already. However, because he is a Pisces he won't be able to turn a blind eye to her suffering, and he will feel compelled to emotionally support her when able. Trying to find another person to carry the emotional burden for you isn't the answer in making you feel whole again, for inevitably, another person will buckle under the heavy wieght and let you fall, even if they don't mean to. The answer is in finding a cause that needs you. Something that is hopeless without you. Rescue animals Befriend the elderly who have been abandoned in nursing homes Volunteer at homeless shelters .... you'd be amazed at how valuable you'd feel for cooking for hungry children who would starve otherwise I read your other threads ...... you need emotional rescuing alright .. but, not from this person. This person cannot handle the wieght, that's why he stays at a distance. You need a cause, you need to feel worthy and this won't come from a lover. |
| It's not real ... If she was happy in her marriage, then Pisces man would be just a person she knows. She only thinks she loves him this much because she is unhappy and looking for an emotional rescue. Her saviour isn't another person to come and resolve her life for her ... her rescue is herself and sense of self worth. On another thread, she talks about how pitiful she feels because her kids think she's a bad mother, and she talks about how her husband doesn't like her and how the people in her life pretty much think her worthless to them. This is totally untrue. There's no way that a person can live their whole adult life of at least 25 years (because that's how long she's been married), where people honor you and want you and love you and then suddendly all these people turn agaisnt you .. life doesn't work that way. Perhaps during this time one or two people fight with you, maybe all of them have fought/disagreed with you at times ... but, there's no way that ALL of your people, all at once have shunned you. That right there is all kinds of lights flashing and horns honking to indicate that the issue is low self esteem ...... this lady doesn't value herself at all, if she thinks this way. Naturally, a person who doesn't give themselves any credit will look to find approval from another. She is looking to Pisces man to make her feel worth herself .. and that's treetrunked up in itself on many levels. Another person cannnot make you .. you have to make yourself. And Pisces man is perfect target to dump all of this onto holding for her to make her feel better because Pisces people are notorious for aiding those who are in despair, if we see a person struggling, or emotinally suffering ... we will aid ASAP. So virtually ... she attempts to use Pisces man because she's lost all hope for herself. And I know this is all her because there's no way that all of her people, ie: children, spouse, siblings, friends, coworkers .. would ALL abandon her all at once. Seriously, this problem is not this Pisces man and whether he likes/wants her or not .... the problem is that she doesn't want herself. |
| fedup is locked within the comfortable security of her marriage. Maybe financial security, accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Personal security, having someone there, not being alone/lonely. Emotional security, does not have to give too much of herself, does not have to open to him and be vulnerable and risk more pain, because she's already closed off from him. There's the security of knowing you are loved, wanted, that he will stay with you, even though things are so bad. Social security, what would friends and family think/say/do? Will it hurt when loved ones judge you for leaving such a good man? Would friendships end, family ties unravel? Would they take sides, possibly HIS side, vilifying and ostracizing you? She knows she does not truly love her husband. It's more of a companionship, a convenience, a comfort. The spark and fire and depth of feeling is reserved for her Pisces soul mate. But she is too AFRAID to let go of her husband and current life, especially not knowing how Pisces even truly FEELS about her, much LESS if he wants to step up into the role the hubby currently has. It's incredibly frightening, this letting go thing - often we crash and burn. But she needs to realize that she will NEVER get, have, keep, or even pin down real feeling from Pisces -- not while she's safely ensconced in her comfortable, secure marriage. He won't have it that way, soul mate or not. But also, fedup, YOU need to realize... EVEN IF you leave hubby, even if you jump off that cliff - Pisces might NOT catch you, may not WANT to. He may be leery - if you would (emotionally, physically) cheat on your husband and your marriage (AND YOU ARE!)... Pisces will think, "What do I have that would keep her, her interest, her love? If she would walk away from a (long) marriage to a man who loves her, break that most sacred vow... wouldn't she one day do the same to me, if she met some exciting new guy, if she 'lost the spark' or simply wanted to?" It's a Catch-22, fedup. Stay or go, go or stay. Frankly, you're treetrunked either way. Stay in the misery of comfort, or leap into the misery of uncertainty. Or continue as you are and slowly go completely insane ... and watch BOTH of your men drift away and shut you out, shut down, walk away, move on. You are trying to have your cake and eat it too. You are trying to find the next branch, before you let go of the one you're gripping - but they are too far apart. And you did this, no one else. I don't envy you. |
| That makes no sense to me. If this Pisces guy is The One, the one to whom rocks your soul and you two are suppose to be meant for each other ... then why bother attempting to repatch the marriage? You would go to counseling, and even go so far as to try things the therapist said in order to save the marriage ..... yet, this Pisces guy is your Soul Mate to whom your world has been rocked and there is no other? Hhhhmmmmm ......... Whatever, what do I care .. have fun in your fantasy. |
| My pisces just sent me a message explaining why he had not been in touch the last couple of days. He sounded so much like himself. I'm cautiously optomistic and smiling at the moment. I know it is only one message but I never asked him where he was and just sent little notes so he knew I was thinking of him. To me it seems like a positive sign that he felt it was important to let me know. Fingers are crossed. P-angel, I know it probably seems like I'm a cold hearted cookiemonster when it comes to my husband but nothing could be further from the truth. I have tried and tried to rekindle some sort of feelings for my husband. When things weren't good with my pisces I went to counselling for a bit. one suggestion he had was to concentrate on planning a trip away together. I was researching places to go and had an amazing trip planned a few months away. You know how much interest he showed?? Zero. Even after I practically begged him to look at everything I had planned he showed no interest. His biggest concern was the cost....even though I already have all of the money saved. One of the biggest problems we have is we have grown apart over time. We have tried marriage counselling but nothing really changed at all. I can't talk to him because he refuses to address any issues at all. This is very out of character for me. I am a very faithful person and if I hadn't but by sheer chance met my pisces i would have stayed with him till death miserable or not. Believe it or not I never even looked at other men because it made me feel unfaithful. I met my pisces and for both of us we were the one we had been waiting for. Yes the circumstances suck and people will be hurt if he allows me back in but life is too short to give up on someone who rocks your very soul. |
Posted by ImaginationPosted by Nefer Mmm - are you Pisces? Is your SM someone you should NOT love and be with, for some reason cannot be with? Someone who belongs to or is with another, or you do/are?... If so, I still maintain that if YOU FEEL and TRULY BELIEVE it would be BETTER for your SM if you did so, if many, many people would get hurt, if homes would be wrecked, marriages/relationships torn asunder, children affected, lives uprooted if you selfishly held on.. you would indeed let go. But unless that is the case - HELL NO, a Pisces won't let their SM go. Probably not ever. If things had gone differently 15, 16 years ago -- I can say with nearly 100% certainty.. I'd have never let my Virgo go, and we would still be together, and our lives completely different than they are. We are the choices we make, good and bad, right and wrong. |
| Your feelings matter just after 2 days ... but, the man to whom you are bound in matrimony? Yeah, his feelings apparantly don't matter. |
The user who posted this message has hidden it. |
Posted by Nefer I don't think I can cut my soul mate loose... |
| sorry bella.. im rubbing off on you... |
41 years old female from A view of you making an ass of yourself.
Posted by Nefer Yes. |
41 years old female from A view of you making an ass of yourself.
| then give it up now and show him you are serious.because still being married really shows him you are not.and Nefer is right...your husband deserves better than what he's getting,whether he is even aware of what's going on or not. it's kind of a catch 22,you don't know if the pisces is serious enough to leave for...he does not know if you are serious enough to leave....but the ball is definitely in your court.and if you don't love your husband the right way,whether you have another man or not you should give your husband a chance to find someone who will love him that way. wow,I've really changed.....I would never have said that a couple of years ago :o |
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