So after an amazing year & a half with my cap, after a talk we had tonight I'm deciding to let go. It's bittersweet because I'm in love with him, and he says he loves me (I believe him). but we've just reached a stand still point, and I'm tired of standing still.  Emotionally we have come a LONG way, we've both opened up to each other & we're extremely close. But we're on two different wave lengths, he is focused on career goals, and while I am focused on those too, another of my goals is to be someone's wife someday. Maybe a mother. He already has a son from a previous relationship.. he has already lived with a woman & came close to marrying her. (until she hurt him) there is still so much that I have not experienced that I would like to. I'm not saying that I'm pressing him for the ring, but after a year & a half we still haven't made ourselves official. We're exclusive, but not official. I just need to know that this is going somewhere, and he's not able to tell me that it is. Tonight he told me that he loved me and doesn't want to be the reason that I am sad. He said that he knows I am a relationships girl, and that I deserve more than what he can give me. He said he feels like he is holding me back.. in a way I guess he has been. Not that I blame him.. I accept full responsibility for "waiting". He was definitely worth the wait to me. He doesn't make me feel sad at all, in fact he makes me happier than anyone ever has. He treats me exactly how I've always wanted to be treated. God I could've married him.. LOL ugh. I'm sorry I'm venting. I literally just hung up with him and I NEED to get this out. He says nothing has to change, we should still be 'friends'. But I know better than that. He acted upset when I told him that we probably shouldn't speak anymore, but how else does he expect me to do this? I can't sit in a room with someone I am in love with and view them as a "friend". It's not going to happen. Something's got to give... all of this has to end or I'll never be able to move forward. He has been a wonderful friend.. when my mom died on the 4th of July, he was my rock. He is a good man, all the way around so I don't resent him or have no hard feelings. But I know myself.. and I know that I can't let go while still keeping ties with someone. I'm all or nothing at all. So much for getting a good nights sleep tonight. :/ This SUCKS. |
letting go
ALL MESSAGE BOARDS
- Astrology, Books, Chinese Horoscopes, Dreams, Education & School, Fashion & Beauty, Finances & Investments, Food & Drink, Games, Ghosts, Health, History, Home Improvements & DIY, How would you make this site better?, Internet, Jokes, Metaphysical, Miscellaneous, Movies, Music, News, Paranormal, Pets, Politics, Reincarnation, Relationships, Relationships & Astrology, Religion, Science & Technology, Sports, Television, The Arts, Travel, UFOs & Aliens, Workplace & Career, Writing, Zodiac Cusps, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
WWWRIOT SEARCH
- autos, business, career, entertainment & arts, health, internet, music, news, paranormal, people, sports, travel
CLASSIFIED ADS
- antiques & collectibles, business & opportunities, computers & software, dating, general merchandise, pets & animals, real estate & rentals, tickets, vehicles
Daily Horoscopes
Are you astrologically aligned? Read your free daily horoscope and find out.
Best websites for motorcycles
Head out on the highway with the best websites for motorcycles.
Topic Options:
- Log In/Sign Up to add a message
- Reverse sort order
- Receive Email Alerts
Posted by scorpio_chic |
Posted by DiesIraePosted by scorpio_chic LOL are u telling me to read between my own lines? I know you're probably thinking if he makes me so happy, why am I letting go. But like I said, I need to know this is going somewhere. And after a year & a half, he's still not able to tell me anything & he even said himself he's not able to give me what I want. I need to feel safe, and I need to know this is going somewhere & that he is as committed to this as I am. And when he was telling me he felt like he was holding me back, wasting my time and didn't want to be the one to make me sad, that makes me feel like he's practically telling me to go find someone new. He's telling me STRAIGHT up, this isn't it for him. It's not enough for whatever reason. So I gotta keep it pushin. |
The user who posted this message has hidden it. unhide your post so I can see it please. :T |
| I just reread my post... I sound like such an emotional drama queen. Ugh. That's not how I want to come across. I just feel really blah & wanted to vent. He said he's going to call me first thing in the morning before I go to work. I think he just wants to see if I'm not going to answer the phone or if I'll be acting different. He is used to me being more emotional but this time I wasn't very emotional (until AFTER we hung up lol) I told him I respect his feelings & admire his drive. I really do think we should stop talking though. At least for a while.. so I can get over him. Am I talking to myself??? I should really just go to bed, sigh. |
| we're listening. vent it up.l |
| i have to get up in 6 hours for work. I'm going to be a treetrunking mess. |
Posted by cap.. I don't have marriage issues either, I just want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me at this time because he's pursuing other goals in life. I can't do nothing but respect that.. LOL but at the same time, it's heartbreaking. |
The user who posted this message has hidden it. |
| Yep that exclusivity crap is a trap, it keeps a woman feeling like she's sliding backwards, I would never do exclusivity with a man without the promise of a solid future together, a solid future means many different things to women, some want marriage, some want long term relationship which includes sharing property or sharing an apartment or house together. It's not that you have to dump this man SC but you do have to be happy and my suggestion is you go out and date other men while this man makes up his mind about you. The whole let's break up but I don't want to break up because I love you is way too heavy, you don't want to break up, you want him to want you just as much as you want and need him since that isn't the case then you have to take a more objective stance and take control of the situation. You can date him but you can also date other men and if he don't like that your dating then he can DO something about it, if he says fine I will date other women too then you know he was NEVER serious about you and you were not his FOREVER girl, just his FOR NOW girl until his forever girl shows up. I would not get rid of cap because they make great partners but maybe you need to stop focusing so much on HIM, what he's doing and not doing and focus on YOU and give yourself permission to go out and make yourself happy with him or without him. The thing that women don't get is that men have there own relationship timeline, they don't say oh it's been a year and a half let's get married (if she's lucky he will) but most times that will never happen. A man just has to feel it, he has to feel that forever feeling for a woman, he has to have the deepest level of attraction to help him not THINK about it and just do it, it has to be there or he will stall and stall and stall and he will get the benefits of an exclusive relationship without giving you much in return, so fine he doesn't want to be your REAL boyfriend well your answer to that should be take all the time you need but you can't have me all to yourself. |
| yeah, what she said makes a lot of sense, I especially like the part "take all the time you need, but you can't have me to yourself". He's not a bad person, but I think he is selfish in a way, whether he means to be or not. It's like he wants things on his terms. He says he's not able to give me a relationship but he expects me to continue to talk to him & see him.. what he don't understand is that is what would hurt me & stop me from moving on. It's not that I'm going to run to the next man's arms.. that's not how I operate that will only complicate things. But I will fall back & cut back on the time I invest in him. I am already a busy girl, I do have a full time job, go to school & go to the gym & spend time with my family. I'm not the type who was pressed to be up under him at all times.. But I WAS playing the part as his girlfriend even though technically I am not. Again, I'm not saying he is to blame. That's just how I am naturally, when I am in love, I give my all... whether he asks for it or not. it's only natural to me. Since he has been an incredible friend, when my mom died & everything else he was there, dependable & rock solid. I will not turn my back to him entirely. But I'm not going to keep playng the part, investing my time & energy. I'll be there when he needs me, but I won't be reaching out to him like I have for the past year and a half. And I can't see him anymore. We can't hang out as "friends". I have enough friends. I can't hang out with him without wanting to be affectionate/intimate. But if we are not going to be together, there's no reason I should be giving all of that away to him. Out of sight, out of mind... that's the only way I know how to deal. |
| Just a little suggestion try not giving men your all until he's proven he's worthy of it, he can handle it and he's going to give you a PROPER REAL RELATIONSHIP unless you enjoy short term relationships because if you continue on the path your on you will have nothing left to give to your Mr. Right when he shows up and he will, he's on his way. |
Topic Options:
- Log In/Sign Up to add a message
- Reverse sort order
- Receive Email Alerts
