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The Diff in Perceptions of sex: Men vs. Women

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P-Angel
6/10/2011 11:49:48 AM | IP
P-Angel

54 years old female from Planet Neptune  

Just

Posted by natural25

.... how do Libra’s handle rejection … disappointment? Do you all think he will be back after he licks his wounds or tip toe to another woman who will spread her legs with a little more ease? Lol. Thoughts?





Because there is no problem in making the guy feel rejected/disppointed ... hell hath no fury if a guy turns this around on a woman and she gets rejected. He damn sure would know that he crossed dangerous lines if he rejects a woman.

Her though .... she has no worries, or cares whatsoever that she does this to him.


And it's done to make an impression upon him about how she expects him to regard her ... there is nothing in this whatsoever as it pertains to her true feelings at that moment. It doesn't even foster respect .. it actually creates the opposite, in that if she's a wild cat sexually, then 'acting' morally respectful, while trying to play it as her character is actually false.


this whole thing reeks of insecurity about ones self .... if a woman has to "play" being a respected woman with intentions of slanting his perception of her .... then she's lying.


Respect doesnt' come from sex ... why people let themselves believe this, I have no idea.

Respect comes from being real, and not afraid of being real.

If you want to treetrunk the guy on first date, and you respect yourself ... then treetrunk him. Seriously, if he forms a disrespectful opinion of you, then he was going to form this of you anyway ... and seriously, is your value system of your based on other people's approval of you?


It's all a game ... you get aroused, you want to treetrunk him ... instead you push him away to feel rejected in hopes that he forms an expected opinion of you. When alls you have to do is be confident of who you are.

TheBeautifulStruggle
6/10/2011 10:47:40 AM | IP
TheBeautifulStruggle

I don't think having 'self-control' when you usually 'don't have self control' is lying to a person. But maybe that's just me.
P-Angel
6/10/2011 9:24:05 AM | IP
P-Angel

54 years old female from Planet Neptune  

Just

Giving off impressions never work .... because one day you are going to want to be yourself, so you will be left with nothing else except to lie, so the other person won't catch on that the first you, wasn't really you.
everevolvingepithet
6/10/2011 7:29:32 AM | IP
everevolvingepithet

113 years old from Monkey Fonics,Facilitator,Smart Arse  

An average day at the offices of... from

Posted by natural25
krysrenee7 - You are so right! Men always want to make things about THEM. Also, most men, want to feel as though the have EARNED something. When a woman gives of herself to easily (in anyway) she is treated accordingly.

Oldskool - Stop hating! Lol.

It's not about EARNING it, that makes it sound like a business proposal
It's about sifting through what's usually many a layer of b/s 'til you find the real person, imo.
TheBeautifulStruggle
6/10/2011 5:46:23 AM | IP
TheBeautifulStruggle

We sI really can't quantify my opinion into words at the moment...but the idea that a man 'changes his perception of her'..if she 'gives up to easily'. and refering to sex as 'goodies' or a 'prize' needs to be elaborated on to get a better understanding.

Also you shouldn't discredit a male's perspective on this, because well, he's the one who would have the most insight on this topic..because that's who's perspective we want to 'understand'.

Also..define 'easily'...where 'chemistry' and 'wantoness' get confused with each other.
natural25
6/6/2011 12:38:30 PM | IP
natural25

31 years old

krysrenee7 - You are so right! Men always want to make things about THEM. Also, most men, want to feel as though the have EARNED something. When a woman gives of herself to easily (in anyway) she is treated accordingly.

Oldskool - Stop hating! Lol.
oldskoolflavor
6/4/2011 7:47:56 PM | IP
oldskoolflavor



* common knowledge

is that what aquas are about ?
oldskoolflavor
6/4/2011 5:03:06 PM | IP
oldskoolflavor



krysrenee7:
why do you pride yourself on dropping common sense ?
krysrenee7
6/4/2011 4:10:42 PM | IP

female

Google me you stalkers =)

And to be honest...what's so wrong with a woman wanting to make sure that every man she dates has a good impression of her?

What's so wrong with that? What's so wrong with a woman purposely waiting it out? Men complain when a woman won't have sex early on BUT yet those very same men would be quick to knock her & not take her seriously had she given it up too early.

There absolutely ARE certain consequences/rejections that come with the territory of putting out too soon. If they're weren't consequences (men losing respect for her or not taking her seriously, etc.) I think alot of women who actually do pretend, would be alot more honest with themselves & with others.

There's nothing wrong with making someone earn your goodies, whether they're sexual, emotional, physical, etc. goodies. And anybody who is so eager to always have what they never earned is obviously someone who has no patience, probably has bad intentions & isn't right for you anyways.

Women know that some men WILL absolutely change their perspective of her if she puts out too soon. And women like this are keeping the goodies to themselves, NOT b/c they want to play some kind of mind game or control him with sex, but moreso b/c women would much rather prefer a man see ALL of her & THEN make the decision to either stay with her or leave vs. basing their opinion on her on how much sex she's willing to give or not (early on)
krysrenee7
6/4/2011 4:06:12 PM | IP

female

Google me you stalkers =)

Men can be so narcissistic sometimes.

Some men don't realize or understand that some women literally ARE dead serious when they claim that sex early on is just not "their thing." It may have NOTHING to do with the actual guy himself. She could careless what he thinks of her. She's deciding not to be a hoe or give up the goods too early b/c she has self-respect, morals & would be that way with anyone vs. she only pretending to be a certain way just to please some guy

That's the same as saying that men only work out & want muscles b/c they want to "appear" to be strong/masculine all so they can impress some chick. That's bull. Some men literally work out & take care of their bodies b/c THEY value their OWN opinions of themselves & b/c they literally just like to be healthy. It just so happens that women wanting them more for it is a perk of being healthy.

Some women absolutely DO pretend to be something they're really not all just to impress some guy that probably won't fall for her bull to begin with. BUT in those situations, why complain? If he feels that she's somehow faking her morals then he has the opportunity & free-will to walk away.

But questioning & knocking someone simply b/c they stick to their guns & care more about their OWN opinion of themselves moreso than everybody else's opinion is wrong & indicates that the man really needs to get over himself
libra sun
6/3/2011 8:01:58 PM | IP
libra sun

25 years old female from england  

Posted by Lena282
It must be a cultural thing, Americans obsesses over virginity and purity. Doesn't really fly here in Europe we're kinda all slags, not to say we don't judge.


hahaha loved that!

I personaly these days just tell the guy straight. "you can treetrunk me now if you like but that means we will probably never be in a relationship" then I let them make the choice. If they genuinely want more then sex then they will wait if they just want sex then cool lets do it if it feels right. Either way both people know where they stand. To me its not about appearances I just think that if your having great sex with someone its very easy to miss stuff that the other person does that could be detrimental to a relationship. It's amazing how much stuff some people will put up with (myself included) if the sex is good lol.

But if someones holding back because they care what others think then they are stupid. If its because you care what the man thinks then that kind of makes sense, but it's prob a good idea to let the man know the reasons why so he dont go thinking your a tease/frigid/playing him/not interested and go find someone else.
natural25
6/2/2011 11:31:03 AM | IP
natural25

31 years old

Ty - That is great that did not make a judgemnt on your wife and there are many men who arel ike you. There are other men who are not. However, that really was not my issue with Libra. I did not think that he would think I was a prude or a hoe either way. I was concerned about allowing myself to get caught up too soon.

Thanks Scoprdiva. Yea. I had to pump those brakes b/c I am not trying to get caught up emotionally as the rebound chick. I would have no one to blame but myself.

Norcalman - Thanks! I agree with you and I made the decision that I felt was best for me in the long run.
scorpdiva
6/1/2011 2:01:56 PM | IP
scorpdiva

female

Natural, I think you played your cards right he already told you he is coming out of a relationship and not ready for anything serious at the moment as a women you know how you feel once sex is brought into the picture so why get ur feeling hurt if things don't work out..... I know things got hot and heavy which is what happens when two people who are sexually attracted to each other start to make out but that's one good thing about being a scorp I have been in that position many of times and I have the will power to say no a lot of women don't have that will power.........
USCTaurusGal
6/1/2011 11:24:43 AM | IP
USCTaurusGal

female

@ Natural - LOL! You are too much; keep popping your collar gf!
I'll PM you.
natural25
6/1/2011 11:16:12 AM | IP
natural25

31 years old

DoubleGem - Yes he is most definitely on the rebound.

Yuck @ stickyfingaz!!! Lol.

BUT my whole point is it is interesting how two men ASSUMED I abstained from sex ONLY because I was trying to portray myself in a certain light. That was actually my whole point. Lol. As I think about it, I suppose there is some truth in that theory. While I think everyone should live their lives as they see fit, I do pride myself in the fact that I am selective when it comes to who I have sex with. IMO, either have sex to get that itch scratched and that be that OR be selective and do not just allow any old man to leave his footprints on your beach! Lol. There are some women who have sex with men not because they are simply sexual beings, or because they trust the man. Some women will sleep with a man out of desperation, neediness or because she thinks the intimacy will make the man fall in love with her; a means to manipulate the situation. So, I suppose I do feel a little proud that I do not fall into that category. Look at me popping MY OWN collar! LMAO! Gesh, sometimes, I can be SUCH a Scorpio!!! Lmao!!

 

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