Why are dudes so cold hearted

female •
A plain normal girl
i don't know u tell me
female from EARTH •
" MyHotComments ""I Am Just A Un
I believe people (Not Just Men/Dudes) that are cold hearted are that way because of there past, maybe they have been hurt beyond belief and did not know how to deal with it then nor now and continue to let the past control there future. Sometimes a person can be cold hearted due to how they were raised, maybe there family lacked compassion.
i agree with aqua. or they are disinterested so a way of showing that they wrongly act cold to try push you away
female from EARTH •
" MyHotComments ""I Am Just A Un
"they are disinterested so a way of showing that they wrongly act cold to try push you away"

yeah that's another possibility, some ppl will act cold if they are not interested in you and some ppl continue to push it until there feelings get hurt. Sometimes you have to just take the hint and move on, its so many ppl (dudes) in the world, why stay stuck on one, who you are having a hard time figuring out.
57 years old female •
Just
Men are cold-hearted?

That doesn't coincide within my reality of all people being human, and therefore having emotions.

What is it that happened that makes you think men are cold-hearted? From my perception of when men pull away (emotionally), it normally is because of one to two things:

1. They aren't interested, while the woman is unresponsive to act accordingly and allow him to pull away = equals him having to be emotionally distant.

2. The woman has placed a heavy amount of emotional burden upon him to help carry, and since men don't like emotional baggage, they naturally become distant so as not to be available for this baggage to be placed.


If a man IS interested, and baggage is checked at the door .. I find men to be very warm and pleasing emotionally.
female from EARTH •
" MyHotComments ""I Am Just A Un
"why stay stuck on one, who you are having a hard time figuring out."

"its that type of thinking why the divorce rate is sooooo high!!"

^^And thats the type of thinking why murder/suicide rates are increasing daily, trying to make something work when there is no hope, you can not make a man or woman want you, if they are acting cold towards you, any person with a brain cell knows there is more to life than being stuck on someone, who's obviously not interesting in you.
57 years old female •
Just
"heh, that's what they mean 'til death do you part'"


lol, MIA ............... Swish
female from EARTH •
" MyHotComments ""I Am Just A Un
"murder/suicides? heh, that's what they mean 'til death do you part'
lol."

^^It shouldn't have to come to that, but I hear about it daily, ppl think if they can't have someone, no one else can. What are the chances she would take my advice anyways. Its just my opinion, I just never had to patience to deal with any person acting distant/cold (I Mean I think If Something is bothering you speak up) I just move on from the situation, I'm not going to beg someone to be with me or be my friend or stick around to figure out why they are acting that way, if that's weak, then I guess I am. Now that I think about it, maybe I am sort of Cold Hearted to =)

Any who, she did not give enough info anyways about who in particular is being cold hearted, it could be her boyfriend, husband, father, Brother or any person(dude).

female from EARTH •
" MyHotComments ""I Am Just A Un
"Its just my opinion, I just never had to patience to deal with any person acting distant/cold"

"wooooow, The irony, this coming from a Aqua!!"

=)lol
P- Angel

What about men who are scared ??? They can also cold-hearted, especially if they have been hurt in the past...
57 years old female •
Just
hurt-heart ... not any man I know who has had a relationship injury is cold-hearted because of it.

Now, if the current girlfriend pressures him to talk about it, he'll withdraw because he doesn't like emotional baggage, even his own. From what I've observed .. so long as the woman doesn't always ask things like ..

"Are you ok"
"Do you want to talk about it"
"Tell me what happened and we can work through it"

Or anything along those lines, men seem pretty warm-hearted to their girlfriends and can easily get past an injury.

If you know a man who has been burnt, then instead of reminding him about it and trying to talk about it (which he does NOT want to do), instead ... allow it to pass away by showing him you aren't living through vicarious hard-feelings for him.
I don't where you live P-angel, but if there are no men there affected by past relationships, it must be a great place to live...It is not only men that become cold-hearted, woman do as well...I find it hard to believe that you have never known someone who has been hurt in a relationship and is scared to commit to someone else, being cold-hearted while they work out their issues..

I agree with you that one should not remind him of it or try discussing it with him, but sometimes they could bring it up and it has to be discussed..I was just dating a man who is recently separated (one Year) and his wife cheated on him for two years and he stayed with her...He brought up the topic all the time and I realized he was not ready, so I ended the relationship...He keeps coming back gets close to me and then becomes very cold-hearted...He told me he is scared and I had to end the relationship because he is hurting me...Very nice guy but have seen a side of him that is truly cold-hearted when he gets scared,...
57 years old female •
Just
" .. no men there affected by past relationships .."

" .. hard to believe that you have never known someone who has been hurt in a relationship .."



In no way, shape or form did I say any of those two .. what I said was that men don't like to carry emotional baggage, even their own.












57 years old female •
Just
"being cold-hearted while they work out their issues.."


I suppose it's all in the interpretation of being cold-hearted. If a guy has some issues to work out so he can check his emotional baggage, and in so doing, he requires his emotional space without having to express himself to his current female .. then I don't consider this cold-hearted .. I consider it that he deserves to have his space to work out his issues with hearing a female yapping about his feelings.

Perspective ......
we dods or duds which ever are cold hearted because of the foul treatment we get from the dodettes. once a dod or dodette you can never go back I my self is still a person never made the transefermation
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