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Relationship/commitment

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scorpdiva
7/2/2012 2:03:31 PM | IP
scorpdiva

female

Posted by beautifulsoul74
I get on a lot of my Sag brethren for doing this. He likes you, but he has serious problems with who you are(not saying you're a bad person) but doesn't want to be alone and enjoys the attention you give. Thus, you have your current situation. Having his cake and eating it too. My suggestion? Leave. It will drive him nuts. Either he will step up or you'll have to find someone else. The only other solution is sitting down and talking about. Don't accuse him of anything or try to manipulate him( not saying you are or we're lol). If he still gets angry, he's immature and not ready for a real commitment...lwhich I think he is anyway.


I see your points, I know he Loves me cause he has told me multiple times and he wouldn't say something he doesn't mean, it's just not his personality. You are right about he has problems with who I am,if he can't accept me for the person that I am that is something he had to deal with, relationships are about compromise and I can't change my self for no one. I also don't think he wants his cake and eat it too, I have been knowing him for almost three years now and he is not the dog type like a cheater he just doesn't want to answer to me, he has a rebel personality where he wants to go and be as he please if he says he commits then he probably feels he is giving that up.
beautifulsoul74
7/2/2012 3:51:44 AM | IP
beautifulsoul74

38 years old male

Most people strive to achieve balance wi

Personally, I've never been afraid of commitment or the word. I go with the flow...with caution lol. I do take steps and don't just jump in. I start out slow, getting to know you and develop a friendship. If something is there then I'm willing to take it to the next level. But I'm always upfront and genuine with my intentions and feeling...tactfully.
beautifulsoul74
7/2/2012 3:47:29 AM | IP
beautifulsoul74

38 years old male

Most people strive to achieve balance wi

I get on a lot of my Sag brethren for doing this. He likes you, but he has serious problems with who you are(not saying you're a bad person) but doesn't want to be alone and enjoys the attention you give. Thus, you have your current situation. Having his cake and eating it too. My suggestion? Leave. It will drive him nuts. Either he will step up or you'll have to find someone else. The only other solution is sitting down and talking about. Don't accuse him of anything or try to manipulate him( not saying you are or we're lol). If he still gets angry, he's immature and not ready for a real commitment...lwhich I think he is anyway.
crimeofpassion89
6/29/2012 3:47:45 PM | IP
crimeofpassion89

23 years old female

Hot-blooded Italian Sadge.

To me they're the same thing. If you're in an official exclusive relationship with someone that already sort of means you're fully committed to that person (at least for the time being). Otherwise what are you even doing there? You want the comfort and security of being in a relationship but you don't want to offer those things to your partner in return? That's so wtf to me lol
DMV
6/29/2012 12:41:35 PM | IP
DMV

31 years old

anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S

Posted by scorpdiva
Posted by Sutekh
Sag=uncommited commitment.

IMO there are no "steps" with Sags.

We're together and commited, but don't ask me about it and don't dwell on it because it's not necessary.


I think that's the thing he doesn't want me to keep bringing it up or asking about it but I just want to hear him say it. I mean everyday he wants me to check in with him, he wants to know what and when I am doing whatever I am doing, he gets mad if I go any days without contact with him, so we basically are comitted but you can't bring yourself to say it. You even go as far to ask me to have your baby, but you can't say those words like it's a curse word to him, I told him he is scared of the word commitment.


so if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck....
scorpdiva
6/29/2012 12:37:14 PM | IP
scorpdiva

female

Posted by Cat34
Im a Sag and I totally get it! The word commitment is SCARY it makes you wanna run and run as fast you can!!! Now I am relationship but not a commited relationship. I dont wanna see anyone else and havent but the thought of bf anf gf is whoa!! the more you press a sag to "commit" the more they refrain from doing it.
like you said I don't think he is seeing anyone else but he is scared of the mere thought of commitment, I am going to leave it alone but I can't keep being on this leash he wants to put me on without being committed or maybe as he tells me I need to be quiet about the issue.

scorpdiva
6/29/2012 12:27:37 PM | IP
scorpdiva

female

Posted by Sutekh
Sag=uncommited commitment.

IMO there are no "steps" with Sags.

We're together and commited, but don't ask me about it and don't dwell on it because it's not necessary.


I think that's the thing he doesn't want me to keep bringing it up or asking about it but I just want to hear him say it. I mean everyday he wants me to check in with him, he wants to know what and when I am doing whatever I am doing, he gets mad if I go any days without contact with him, so we basically are comitted but you can't bring yourself to say it. You even go as far to ask me to have your baby, but you can't say those words like it's a curse word to him, I told him he is scared of the word commitment.
Cat34
6/29/2012 12:02:33 PM | IP

Im a Sag and I totally get it! The word commitment is SCARY it makes you wanna run and run as fast you can!!! Now I am relationship but not a commited relationship. I dont wanna see anyone else and havent but the thought of bf anf gf is whoa!! the more you press a sag to "commit" the more they refrain from doing it.
DMV
6/29/2012 11:21:57 AM | IP
DMV

31 years old

anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S

Posted by Rockthenerds
I'm not positive but I think sag was saying that if we weren't in a relationship she would still be committed, but more devoted like a sibling rather than a couple. .


i mean what kind of commitment is she talking about? like if your car breaks down, she will come save you? or shes not sleeping with anyone. why would u even want her to be committed to you and not be in a relationship? she would be selling herself short and overextending herself. how special would you feel if she felt that way about every guy.

that is wierd indeed.

DMV
6/29/2012 11:16:35 AM | IP
DMV

31 years old

anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S

well, i wouldnt be committed to anyone if im not in a relationship with them. not even loyal. until we both say the buck stops here, i will still see other people.
scorpdiva
6/29/2012 10:09:47 AM | IP
scorpdiva

female

For sags or others feel free to chime in, is there a difference to you between being in a relationship and being committed is there a difference or is it the same thing?

Me and my sagg are having a debate about this very issue, He is saying that he is not committed to me yet, that we need to be able to get along first which we still have some issues with. I am more black and white either we are going to be committed or we are just like dating which mean no rules are involved, meaning I don't want him getting upset when I go out, asking me different questions about my whereabouts and etc. Lastly, if we are just dating then shouldn't I/we be allowed to date others since we are not committed, to me I am either committed or I am not. With him this is a touchy subject cause he gets so upset when I even mention not having any rules until we get along how he feels we should, he states that we have issues with each other that we need to figure out but my only issue is him not being comitted how I want so that's the issues, and if he committs then the issues he has with me wouldn't exist cause then I would become more of a home body which he wants me to be.

 

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