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|So, I have a situation. If my fellow pond babies could help me with this... I would appreciate it. I've been friends with a Scorp guy for nearly six years. We moved into more than a friendship these last two years. I fell in love with him and although he won't admit he loves me when I am awake ( he usually whispers it when I am sleeping), I know he has love for me too. I am not really traditional, so this last leap year-day, I wanted to propose to him. Before I did, he stopped me, told me to hold on to the ring and wait when the time was right. I took this as a rejection and I slowly pulled away( stopped calling, seeing him as often). Toward the end of February, I find out that he got laid off of his job and that he will re-locate to another state for work. Of course I was devastated. He visited his new state and returned and told me to wait for him. That he will only use the job as a resume builder for 3 years and return and marry me. I saw more of his affectionate side during his final months of March- April. I even traveled to the new state to help him look for housing. We stayed for two nights apartment hunting and...I noticed a change in him. Instead of " I want you to wait for me" attitude it went to " Hey, I think I might like it here as a single man". Although those were not his words, his demeanor shifted.|
On one hand, " I love this man" and on the other my doubts are " he didn't accept my ring but wants me to wait until he returns". If a man truly loved me, wouldn't he have accepted my proposal (which by the way he said he would admire a woman who had the courage to take the lead and propose).
Anyway, this new attitude that I caught wind of, sent me into a very insecure, rejected place. The last night in town.. he took us out to a nice restaurant ( expensive), but because I am more of a down- home kind of girl... I told him he didn't have to impress me by spending $300 dollars meals and that I've noticed a change in him. ( He started to become a bit of an elitists) someone he use to make fun of at one point in life( not in a negative way, but a practical way). He use to defend the under-dogs of the world and all of a sudden he made comments about " how unfortunate it was that some of the apartments we looked at were for " low-income". Which I have a passion for. So, those statements, mixed with wine and feelings of dis-connect and rejection sent me to the " not so nice girl" place I never wanted to go into...
|I guess, this final night really was the straw that broke the unspoken tension between us.On my part I felt: a. rejected and b. Like he didn't care. I guess the ring situation was stewing in the back of my mind on top of the idea that he wanted me to wait for him for three years! After everything, it made me feel like he didn't care. So, yes it lead the volcano to tremble ( I didn't erupt) but I did make a point to let him know I've been in his corner for this long and that I felt like he was just throwing me under-the bus. He was taking his re-location so casually. Like a stoic, emotionless mannequin or something.|
When we returned home, I felt more disconnected ( mainly because of his " I don't care that I am moving attitude"). He too started acting more distant. He suggested that we are probably better off as friends.( where did this come from?) He claims that after our last night in town, that 'volcanic tremble' made him realize that it may not work out. Can he really turn this cold after six years of a loving friend/courtship?
Blind eyes can't see that I reacted emotionally because I was still holding onto the feelings of rejection, that I love him beyond measure and that I didn't enjoy the idea of him moving to a new state without me. I felt unloved and it all came out the last night in town. I feel like I give and give and he can't seem to stop and consider me. The final weeks before his departure he did ask me to come to the new town with him. ( After hearing I planned on moving to Chicago once he leaves). I agreed. Its been two weeks and I have a job offer here as well. But living with him has become so cold. Its like he expects me to cut off all my emotions and attachments because he decided we will be just friends and roommates ( this is coming from a guy who just 12 wks ago told me to hold onto the ring and that He will return and marry me) My emotions have created a storm and his rejection just stirs it. ( if I react emotionally its because he instigates it). Its turned into childs play and I don't like it and I don't like the woman I've become because of it. I told him I am moving at the end of the month and he's also casual about that. I don't want to leave truly, but he's making it hard to stay. I gave and gave of myself in so many ways... I have nothing left to give. To love and be loved is all I want. I want to know if I am in too deep? is my Pisces love drowning him?, Can you just turn your feelings off just like that?
|I am glad you decided to respond. Its not the end of the world. I am not looking for sympathy. You actually failed to answer the question. So, any other scorps, if you can answer... whether or not its easy to turn off your emotions after 6 years? please let me know thanks|