|I've never really been in this situation before and need some advice. There was a Leo I met on a dating site a couple months ago...he contacted me first. He seemed nice enough so I responded. We met in person a couple days later and all seemed well until he became overly clingy/lovey dovey/emotional and pushy way too fast. I'm talking saying the L word and wanting commitment much too soon. I discussed this with him and to back off just a bit, but things got worse.|
To make a long story short...I didn't want to just up and leave and go no contact on him. That just seemed rude, so I wrote him this long email telling him it just wasn't working out and how I wasn't feeling it with him...that I was sorry etc. I figured he took it well because I heard nothing from him. But then he started contacting me which I ignored. He even made this new profile on the dating site stating how he was tired of meeting psycho women, how hurt he was etc. I kept ignoring his contact, but tonight was the last straw. He contacted me again saying things like..."I see I'm not treetrunking good enough for you....thanks for making me lose my faith in women etc." Blah! I'm kind of scared because I'm moving tomorrow and I told him when we were talking where I was moving which isn't far from where he lives. I'm kind of paranoid that he might be lurking around my place. I don't think he would, but that kind of thing freaks me out.
I've ignored all of his contact until tonight. Tonight I wrote him back saying..."please don't contact me anymore and please leave me alone or I will call the cops." I also reported him on that site. I hope this will be the last I hear from him. Why can't he just give up and move on? I figured I was doing the decent thing by letting him know this wasn't working out for me rather than just leaving him high and dry. I didn't want to hurt him, but now this is all just freaking me out. We were never a couple. Why is he doing this and how can I end this? Do you think me telling him I would go to the cops scared him enough to stop? Gosh I hope so!
I just want to be left alone.
How to end this?
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Posted by esheep123
Yea I have to agree with esheep on this part. No offense but putting ones self in anothers shoes is not a scorpios strong point. Your usually to lost in your own emotional butter to think logically or you think for some reason your feelings are more important. Either one.
|Awww.. Midnite's a little sweetie pie, sensitive and emotional and wouldn't hurt a fly, if admittedly a bit of a doormat who struggles with self-esteem issues and afraid to stand up for herself. But SHE'S usually the one that gets in over her head and gets left high and dry.. so within a few dates, this guy got clingy and pushy and started freaking her out, totally flipped the script (see how yucky that feels to "him" when YOU do it, get TOO invested, TOO clingy, wanting a relationship TOO fast.. but TOO scared to set any boundaries??).. but knowing what it's like to be strung along, she wrote him and laid it all out and wished him the best. He obviously didn't take it too well (might go along with the "creepy" vibes you were getting, Midnite).. she did her best to ignore him completely, even with his little jabs on his dating profile, and occasionally trying to contact her again.|
Thing is, Midnite.. you let your Scorp paranoia get the best of you again, and make you write him (after you've managed to stay away from him this long).. why? Why was it necessary? If he's a bit obsessed or off-balance, you just put yourself BACK on his radar. If he's just a normal hurt guy, fed up with not finding love and sick of ending up hurt by girls he likes (YOU know how this feels!).. why did you put yourself in his thoughts again? tsk tsk That Scorp paranoia. You imagine he'll stalk you in person after you move and happen to be closer. Well, stop worrying yourself sick over what may or may not happen.. if he does, call the police.. whatever happens, deal with it then. And in the meantime, stay OFF his radar, DON'T contact him, DON'T engage him in conversation. Give him time to heal and move on. And stop driving yourself crazy with what-ifs lol
|Right, I forgot water signs " Always mean well " so whatever they do is okay because they are "emotional and ever so sweet and sensitive" |
|Guys, guys.. she dated the Leo a few times over a couple weeks.. not months.. she's been *ignoring* him since then lol She didn't back burner anyone, she was meeting a couple guys from the dating site, DATING and trying to GET TO KNOW the guys. It wasn't clicking with the Leo, and he WASN'T backing off in the slightest.. yes, in JUST a couple week's time... so she told him straight up it wasn't working and she didn't want to see him anymore. Admittedly, I don't like emails for this sort of thing, but whatever. It's the means she chose to end things, her choice. But she DID end things, and HASN'T been stringing him along.|
And it's not about Water signs always meaning well.. I was specifically talking about Midnite.. I've known her a couple years now.. seen her dating woes over and over.. this guy going totally over the top in just a few dates was a TOTALLY NEW experience for her and TOTALLY freaked her out. Good experience for her in a way, though.. now she got to see the OTHER side of it.. got to see what some of her guys have had to deal with when a person they're just starting to date and just getting to know, suddenly makes him the center of her world and wants things to progress at lightning speed!
|Yeah, you Scorp Venus people are like Intensity Personified.. you scare me, like I'm gonna be consumed om nom nom. All the Scorp Venus people I've known.. you're right.. they had to LEARN to not throw themselves headfirst into a brand new relationship, capturing and consuming their love interest.. it's too much, too soon, too pushy, freaks people out.. and most only learn it.. when they feel the other edge of the knife cutting them, when someone they feel little or nothing for, suddenly takes the Scorp Venus' usual role.. they see what it's like, how frightening and almost creepy to be the object of affection SO grossly disproportionate to the length/depth of the "relationship".|
It's a learning experience.. and a very valuable one for a Scorp. ^_^
|Oh ya! I keep forgetting esheep is an aries haha cool dude|
Posted by esheep123
Posted by DazedScorp
LOL I'm just relaxing and chilling online tonight.. have some time and a day off tomorrow (and probably a little more "give a treetrunk" than usual haha) so I'm puttering around DXP, seeing what shenanigans I can get up to *wink*
Posted by ellybdPosted by Nefer
Been there, done that. FIRST TIME doesn't teach me anything.. just forms a puzzling hypothesis to figure out.
First couple times coulda been a fluke, some aberration. Need more data. Get more data. Okie dokie, hypothesis was proven sound and correct. Recalculating route.
*grin* Not stupid.. actually it's probably "too smart for your own good".. cuz we KNOW everyone is different, and one or two could be a fluke. And .. erm.. yeah, stubborn. Heh.
Posted by Nefer
I am usually like this in essence, my motto is basically: "let's be so wrapped up in each other that we can't tell where one is stopping and another is starting", but the reason why I don't let it comes out, is that my first several dating experience where leo men, and my god they where all that that venus in scorpio is +10000 times stronger. So I saw that I don't feel ok in that type of scenario so I guess that is the reason why I don't do it. I was given I taste of my own medicine before I have even done it to someone else
|Thanks for the advice. Maybe I did handle it the wrong way. I just wasn't used to someone telling me they loved me after a few short weeks. I panicked. I'll learn from this experience though. I hate rejecting people even more than I hate being rejected. I just don't like hurting them.|
I don't care to date anymore for a long time. I just want to be alone. Life is depressing.
Posted by ellybdPosted by MidniteStar
Well, maybe depressed was the wrong word. I'm more frustrated than anything I guess...not with this situation, but moreso my job situation. It's driving me insane. Just when I think things can't possibly get any worst....that's when the butter hits the fan. If I can just get this whole job thing behind me I think I would feel SOOO much better!
I'm also finding that I'm becoming more of a recluse. I just don't want to be around anyone anymore and I'm shutting myself off. Staying in night after night doing absolutely nothing sounds better and better to me everyday. It's what I've been doing for the past few weeks. I'm in one of those blah moods and don't care to be seen or heard by anyone. The thought of it repulses me right now. My co-workers say to me all the time..."God you're so negative and depressing!" I don't mean to be and I do it without even realizing it. I just moved into my new place and they are wanting to throw me a housewarming party, but I'm just not feeling it. Just don't want to be around people. I'm even putting off going to the grocery store just because I don't want to be out in public. Not sure what kinda phase I'm going through right now, but it's so wierd.
Posted by bluemoon9043834Posted by MidniteStar
An Aries friend would be nice I think...and fun . Don't think I've ever had an Aries friend...don't know many Aries except for my co-worker and my brother..