Understanding the scorpio disappearance

BigGirlPanties
I found this old DXP thread on Google from 2006 titled "The famous disappearing act". It gives the most insightful, honest explanation of why scorpio men disappear on women from scorpios themselves, none who appear to still be on DXP, so it's fresh insight. I found it very helpful and wanted to re-post for all the visitors here that are in this hurtful situation. Hopefull it will bring some peace and acceptance.
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/scorpio/the-famous-scorpio-disappearing-act-559859.asp

Here is the first posting:

i don't know if this is only me or not, but do you other scorps out there have trouble being consistent with people? like calling them or making plans or whatever? everyone always tells me they're afraid to make plans with me because i'm the "mysterious one" who "disappears for a while and then reappears weeks later."

i've always thought this was because on many levels i'm a loner and i know all people have alterior motives, so i tend to be really harsh in judging them.

most of my romantic relationships have fallen apart because i've been accused of being too closed off, manipulative and "intense."

so my question is, do you find yourself astrologically prone to this kind of behavior, or is this more of a "personal experience" kinda thing? thanks!
FUMRedFairy_tales
I disappear quite often. Socializing wears me out. No misunderstandings, when I party, I have no reservations. When I feel socializing, I will pull everyone into my whirling winds, even the one sitting silently in the corner waiting to be discovered. I will discover them.

I have come to terms with myself though that I do like my lone time. I need to rejuvenate. When I work, I want to be alone. When I focus on one thing (let??s say a project with multiple insights, but it will be that ONE project!). I want to give it my full attention. I don't like doing 5 different things at the same time. Sloppiness is what I resent. It is quality over quantity. The guy who has my attention, gets it all. I may not see him all the time, but it feels as if he has taken over my soul. I will find ways to keep myself and my mind busy with tasks on my list, but he will constantly pop back in. So if someone else comes along to get my attention, I will not be fully there. In the back of my mind I will hope for the moment to retreat again.
This all sounds extreme. My best friends are the ones who have accepted my occasional long silences. They are in my heart and mind, but I cannot be there all the time. I will be there for them when they need me though. One thing I also learned over the years, I can give up on friends/relatives, who are not willing to understand that it is in my nature not to socialize whenever THEY feel like it. I will respond, but will keep it short. I am selective. I have to be selective because I can only focus on one thing. Otherwise, my life would fill with stuff I do for others all the time. Although I have my own set of twigs, I definitely will respect theirs and accept them for who they are.
BigGirlPanties
From all I have read and experiences personally, scorpio disappears when feeling over whelmed with emotions, responsibility..whatever. What I don't get is why its done with silent indifference. Where is the courtesey to tell the one you love "I need a break, time out. Dont take it personal". Amputation by silence is brutal. And as Ely wrote in another thread, it destroys relationships. One of the last things my ex scorp told me was he tends to "Sting himself" a lot. This must be one such time. Only self stinging does hurt others.
BigGirlPanties
^^^ Aw, Lady S, how sweet to read about your remorse, it really does give me comfort to know that this is done NOT out of anger or retaliation, which is what it FEELS like. Indifference is really so so hurtful, but since I was married to an alcoholic, I had a butter load of experience with his indifference. It hurt so much, I attend AA meetings to get a better understanding of why they do it. They tell me exactly what you said...its a form of escape, and since alcoholics cant deal with feelings on ANY level, they introvert themselves into their own shell with a bottle. My ex husband once loved me and our son soooooo much, did everything for and with us. Then, he disappeared into his disease and acted as if we never existed. Today, he is sober and has begun to put us as a very high priority. In fact, for the last 10 days, he has let me borrow his car while mine is in the shop and he is driving a piece of butter old car LOL. So, I guess anyone can change and grow into emotional maturity.

Thanks again for being so open!!
Lobo
I disappear quite often. Socializing wears me out. No misunderstandings, when I party, I have no reservations. When I feel socializing, I will pull everyone into my whirling winds, even the one sitting silently in the corner waiting to be discovered. I will discover them.

i've always thought this was because on many levels i'm a loner and i know all people have alterior motives, so i tend to be really harsh in judging them.

most of my romantic relationships have fallen apart because i've been accused of being too closed off, manipulative and "intense."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
butter this is part of my playbook. Scorp moon *shakes fist* treetrunk it I'm proud to be this way!!!


At times I'm the life of the scence and I have everyone's attention very social like. Then I'm in a dark coner arms crossed and dead quiet very broody.

I'm in the closed off phase (going on the 2nd mothh) right now, deactivated my fb, don't go to clubs, text or call anyone and don't. Just quiet, stay to myself and workout.
Lobo
month* and I used to do this even more when I was younger... like 6 months periods then boom I'm back on the scence, or I pop over a friends house.
Lobo
scene* Grrr......
Lobo
Posted by BigGirlPanties
From all I have read and experiences personally, scorpio disappears when feeling over whelmed with emotions, responsibility..whatever. What I don't get is why its done with silent indifference. Where is the courtesey to tell the one you love "I need a break, time out. Dont take it personal". Amputation by silence is brutal. And as Ely wrote in another thread, it destroys relationships. One of the last things my ex scorp told me was he tends to "Sting himself" a lot. This must be one such time. Only self stinging does hurt others.




yeah.... I've changed myself and with age at least, I tell the people in my inner circle I'm gone for a bit...eh... 80% of the time. But I still get the same questions and I never tell them anything. It's private and I'm over it for now. I'm getting better as I call my mom like once a month now progress.......
Lobo
most of the time...
DMV
Posted by Lobo
month* and I used to do this even more when I was younger... like 6 months periods then boom I'm back on the scence, or I pop over a friends house.


im 30 and i still do it. i just need time to think bout some things. i screen phone calls, i hide out in my house, if i go out. its alone. i dont wear any makeup, i dont get dressed. i just sit there and wait for an epiphany.
DMV
Posted by Lobo
Posted by BigGirlPanties
From all I have read and experiences personally, scorpio disappears when feeling over whelmed with emotions, responsibility..whatever. What I don't get is why its done with silent indifference. Where is the courtesey to tell the one you love "I need a break, time out. Dont take it personal". Amputation by silence is brutal. And as Ely wrote in another thread, it destroys relationships. One of the last things my ex scorp told me was he tends to "Sting himself" a lot. This must be one such time. Only self stinging does hurt others.




yeah.... I've changed myself and with age at least, I tell the people in my inner circle I'm gone for a bit...eh... 80% of the time. But I still get the same questions and I never tell them anything. It's private and I'm over it for now. I'm getting better as I call my mom like once a month now progress.......


no lie, my mom is a pisces. the more i talk to her, the better my decision making process is. my inner circle which really only includes my aries bff is very limited. she still has times when its hard for her to understand my silence. she has a bf now, so thats a win win for me.
BigGirlPanties
Posted by LadyScorpP
Posted by BigGirlPanties


In regards to anger or retaliation, it really depends on the situation and the Scorpio, for there can be hints of both within the larger mix of emotions which we were feeling at THAT particular time. The thing is, for us we do not think of it as indifference, we actually do not take notice of what we have done to the other person because we are so absorbed/lost/confused in trying to figure out what we feel (not because we can not deal with it, rather, Scorpios like to take emotions head on) because we are feeling TOO much, that we feel we must disconnect in some form (ie. build walls) to cope/deal with it first, before coming back out to share it with others, embrace and envelope in it without reservations. I do not think it is a question of emotional maturity rather, I think it is about introspection, being self-critical and sure of ourselves before we step out. We must be certain of what we do. When we are going through all the above, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that to others, we may seem indifferent because inside we really are not, we really really do car

You ARE right! There is a difference to the scorpio indifference vs the alcoholic indifference. I should have clarified that. I did not mean to infer the scorpio manner of dealing is immature or "wrong" as it relates to a dysfunctional alcoholic.

I am scorp moon and there are times when in a romantic relationship I feel WELL overwhelmed. Totally, like I need to stick my head under a pillow and close off all contact until it processes itself through me. Never lasted more than a few days and didn't affect my relationship badly. In my recent situation, this man just couldnt be consistent in communicating with me and I retorted with a text that confronted it. Not in anger, just frustration. He then went totally underground. I tried reaching out the first 2 weeks, but no more. I can only be kicked in the gut so many times.
Lobo
Posted by DMV
Posted by Lobo
Posted by BigGirlPanties
From all I have read and experiences personally, scorpio disappears when feeling over whelmed with emotions, responsibility..whatever. What I don't get is why its done with silent indifference. Where is the courtesey to tell the one you love "I need a break, time out. Dont take it personal". Amputation by silence is brutal. And as Ely wrote in another thread, it destroys relationships. One of the last things my ex scorp told me was he tends to "Sting himself" a lot. This must be one such time. Only self stinging does hurt others.




yeah.... I've changed myself and with age at least, I tell the people in my inner circle I'm gone for a bit...eh... 80% of the time. But I still get the same questions and I never tell them anything. It's private and I'm over it for now. I'm getting better as I call my mom like once a month now progress.......


no lie, my mom is a pisces. the more i talk to her, the better my decision making process is. my inner circle which really only includes my aries bff is very limited. she still has times when its hard for her to understand my silence. she has a bf now, so thats a win win for me.





I wonder if sun and moon scorps always have have a small inner circle? I have my best friend virgo bro, a leeb and and annoying little female sister like aries. My virgo and libra friend roll with and get it, or are used to it, but the ram girl takes it to heart and then I feel like butter. My Taurus mother gives me space but not to much until she mothers me into calling god forbid if I don't call for 3 months I must be dead lol.....
DMV
Posted by LadyScorpP
@ BGP

Funny thing is my Scorpio Sun can relate and understand to the person's Scorpio Moon and yet I am still left in confusion. When I thought I was hell in the communications department so is the person, I think our communication is really dysfunctional at times, due to all that Scorpio strength going on between our charts. When I thought I had a bad time going under the pillow, the person (I think) have been swallowed whole by earth itself, disappeared for a good few months, a short reappearance (a single occasion) and off the person goes again. Frustrated? Definitely. Understand the reasons behind it? Yes, in some ways, which makes it even MORE frustrating.


that is exactly how it is with this sun/moon synastry.
outofcomfortzone4now
I'm pretty much the same as others here mentioned. I tend to get more like this in the colder months. Lots of times I just need the time alone to decompress and use my me time.
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