how do you get scorpio forgiveness

8/13/2002 5:48:07 PM | More
phoenix_rising

female from United States  

We are capable of forgiveness, but whether we choose to forgive leans heavily on how hurt we are, and how sincere we feel the person is being when they apologize. Would you be willing to provide a few more details about this situation? I think I could help more with more info.

Now, if we've already forgiven you for something in the past, and you do it AGAIN, your chances of being forgiven again for the same thing are very slim. Once we've been hurt that deeply, we cut off, because we would rather feel nothing toward you than so much pain. Also, trust is a huge issue with us, and if we feel betrayed or anything like that, it is VERY hard to rebuild the trust. The second time around, we are more inclined to consider you guilty until proven innocent--and therefore it's up to you to win our affection back in a sincere way.

Hope this helps some : )
8/13/2002 6:12:08 PM | More
Unregistered

What makes you think she is mad at you? Maybe she pulled back because she needs some space. I think if she was mad at you, you would have an idea why! Really don't know much about the situation, so it is hard to give you much advice!
8/13/2002 6:33:38 PM | More
Unregistered

well, our relationship (if you can call it that) has gone exceedingly slow, but in the past few months, she appeared to be opening up somewhat. Anyway, everything is such a secret with her and she resents it when you ask her about her feelings. I sent her a letter telling her how I felt. I've been honest with her since the beginning, but since "feelings are such a big secret", I've only had the courage to tell her how I feel a few times (each time, I am given the silent treatment).I just thought this time would be different since we have alot more history together. Anyway, I told her I don't know what she thinks, what she feels, and why she always creates distance between us just when things are important.
And that I wanted to know where I stand with her (more or less). I would just like to know how she feels about me. She just refuses to tell me. Well, now she hasn't returned a single e-mail for over a week and she won't talk to me over the phone.
I told her that I wouldn't ever bring up the subject again and I also apologized for appearing selfish (in that maybe she thinks I'm taking what she does give for granted). Frankly, I just don't understand why she can't just tell me how she feels - good or bad and why I have to go through this.
I don't understand it and I don't know what's so bad about talking about feelings. Mine go deep for her and we've hung around now (not dating) for almost 2 years.
There is a significant amount of energy between us...and I think it's mutual - but who knows for sure.

Anyway, I just want to get back "in her good graces".
8/13/2002 6:55:25 PM | More
phoenix_rising

female from United States  

Hmmm...

Okay well now that I have a little more information, this is how I feel. Number one, I think she is being rude, not secretive. There is a way to not show all your cards while at the same time being reasonably open, for the sake of good communication. I too don't understand why she can't open up a bit more. It doesn't make sense, the way she's retreating "just when it's important". It makes me wonder if her feelings are the same for you, in all reality. Perhaps they are, and she's just THAT SCARED of emotional intimacy that she can't handle this openness. But if she's not scared, then the only other explanation I see is that she either is in a relationship with someone else that she's not willing to jeopardize, or she doesn't feel the same. That's a long time for you to have been putting up with this...are you sure it's worth it?
8/13/2002 7:17:55 PM | More
Unregistered

P.S. Sorry, I know you just want to know how to "get back in her good grace"...but us scorps have a tendency to cut right to the core of the matter...and ask a lot of questions! ; )
8/13/2002 7:18:21 PM | More
Unregistered

"graces" I meant.

8/13/2002 7:18:48 PM | More
Unregistered

Last 2 posts were by phoenix_rising, forgot to log on : )
8/13/2002 7:26:16 PM | More
Unregistered

I feel, hah there is the word, that she is being manipulative!!!! If she had any heart at all, she would deal with it! Letting someone struggle with your pain, shows a cold hearted disregaurd for your feelings! I would say, you have done all that you could and that it is time to try and forget her. As hard as that is, sometimes you have no other choice.

I feel for you!
S.
8/13/2002 7:37:40 PM | More
Unregistered

well, I'd like her just to tell me what the deal is - it would make things alot better in the long run if all the cards were on the table.
But in the meantime - is there anything I can do to get us back on even keel even if all the emotions have to stay under cover. She is that important to me.
She also knows that this silent treatment is torture on me. But she's not really a cruel person - it's just this one thing that completely nerves her out and freezes me out.
I just can't get it because not even three days earlier, we had one of our most non-intimate (but intimate conversations over the phone)...it's like you can just feel the pressure building. That's why I wrote to her,
because I was so frustrated by not being able to just open up. At times it's unbearable. When I write to her, I lay open my soul.
8/13/2002 8:02:37 PM | More
Unregistered

I admire you! There is no shame in being honest! I know how you feel and the game, and that is what it is, is not being played fairly. But who makes the rules? Apparently she is. You are into the game or you would walk. If you are being torn up by it, please do yourself a favor and let your mind heal. Trust in the universe to provide you with what you need.

And not to make light of your situation, like the old Otis Redding tune goes 'Cupid ain't Stupid" Hopefully, he will shoot you and your next in the a$$ with two golden arrows instead of just one!

Like I said, I know how you feel.

Take good care of yourself,
S
8/13/2002 8:08:18 PM | More
Unregistered

thanks for the insight. I have no fear of rejection - it's the uncertainty of it all
that gets to me. But, you're right, I must be a little warped myself to stay in it.
I thought scorpios were so into honesty.

8/13/2002 8:13:58 PM | More
Unregistered

207,

Well, I don't want to call someone dishonest. You never know where they have been or where they are coming from! If you want to be really admirable, let her be and it may be an issue of TRUST. We have NO idea what others have been through! There may be scares that go very deep and it takes time for them to heal. Scorps don't like to ask for help. They just go off somewhere and try to handle it on their own. Like I said if it is too much for you to bear, then walk away!
S.

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