Confusing, argumentative, jealous, possessive

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11/2/2010 10:26:43 PM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

stubborn, tiresome, bullheaded, pigheaded, control freaks!

That's the crap side of a taurus - as experienced the last few weeks.

emotional, loyal, attentive, affectionate, sexually intense, funny and protective - seems to be the good side.

However, the arguments are a royal pain in my treetrunking arse!

ooooo, that feels better, just getting it out there.
11/3/2010 12:29:58 AM | More
SeeingRed



Taurus Sun; Aries Moon; Libra Rising.

Here is how I've analyzed this:

stubborn- because we take time to analyze every angle before making a decision. The decision made has been well thought out.

tiresome- because life moves on a fast pace already. Sometimes it's nice to take things slow.

bullheaded- look at stubborn

pigheaded- this is men in general

control freaks- Because we give it our all and expect reciprocation.

----

emotional- because when you're it, you're IT. No need to hold feelings. We show, tell, do, and give.
loyal- no need to stray when we've found a comfortable patch of grass
attentive- look at emotional
affectionate- look at emotional
sexually intense- look at emotional
protective- look at emotional

funny- comes naturally =D

And it's not "seems like the good side". It IS the good side.

And arguments? Please, all it takes is gentle persuasion .
11/3/2010 6:36:16 AM | More
venusianbull

43 years old female from A Lush Meadow, US of A  

In the dead of night, it's the anti-sig.

Awww, but we're so damned lovable! LOL Feel better NZ?
11/3/2010 5:53:48 PM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Posted by cutiebullie
Hey girlie does he want a relationship now? Do you mean he's ready for a relationship already? Why is he jealous and possesive? Or is that the stubborness and confusing reason why he's jealous and possessive when he is not ready for a relationship? Wow just reading my message give me a headache figuring things out - crazy.


LOL, it gave ME a headache too lmto, but it's nowhere near the headache I got after a bloody argument with him!

Yes, he does want a relationship. But he's such an argumentative bloke that i just dunno if I can be arsed. I like peace and quiet, argh lol!
11/3/2010 5:55:34 PM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Posted by SeeingRed
Here is how I've analyzed this:

stubborn- because we take time to analyze every angle before making a decision. The decision made has been well thought out.

tiresome- because life moves on a fast pace already. Sometimes it's nice to take things slow.

bullheaded- look at stubborn

pigheaded- this is men in general

control freaks- Because we give it our all and expect reciprocation.

----

emotional- because when you're it, you're IT. No need to hold feelings. We show, tell, do, and give.
loyal- no need to stray when we've found a comfortable patch of grass
attentive- look at emotional
affectionate- look at emotional
sexually intense- look at emotional
protective- look at emotional

funny- comes naturally =D

And it's not "seems like the good side". It IS the good side.

And arguments? Please, all it takes is gentle persuasion .


WOW! Okay, thanks heaps for that

I been thinking "wtf?" yanno? All this arguing and possessive stuff is a bit much for me.

VB: Yeah, i was having a quick-fire Aqua rant and today...I feel MUCH better
11/3/2010 6:50:39 PM | More
venusianbull

43 years old female from A Lush Meadow, US of A  

In the dead of night, it's the anti-sig.

GOOD NZ

11/3/2010 8:35:28 PM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Posted by cutiebullie
Posted by NZAqua
Posted by cutiebullie
Hey girlie does he want a relationship now? Do you mean he's ready for a relationship already? Why is he jealous and possesive? Or is that the stubborness and confusing reason why he's jealous and possessive when he is not ready for a relationship? Wow just reading my message give me a headache figuring things out - crazy.


LOL, it gave ME a headache too lmto, but it's nowhere near the headache I got after a bloody argument with him!

Yes, he does want a relationship. But he's such an argumentative bloke that i just dunno if I can be arsed. I like peace and quiet, argh lol!



awww i know how it feels when a man just keep pushing your buttons just for the "sake" of arguing and proving he's right............. i love peace and quiet too....... harmonious relationships.....

are you ready to have a relationship with him?


I am, but i have misgivings about the level of intensity/arguing I'm getting.

It's like there's a huge possession started, like ownership of me. I'm unsure how to handle that, I'm not used to it. I don't really "do" jealousy or possessiveness and it's almsot as if i don't display it then he gets anxious.
11/3/2010 9:35:27 PM | More
Mistery

female

It takes two to argue and you are both fixed signs which = stubborn

Is it really all just him?

If your freedom is more important than a relationship with him then leave because his way of showing love includes some possessiveness. Taurus & Aqua do not normally get along for the long-term because of these issues.
11/4/2010 11:23:58 AM | More
venusianbull

43 years old female from A Lush Meadow, US of A  

In the dead of night, it's the anti-sig.

"Once you give me security, then, you see a whole other side, the loyal, sweet, affectionate side. (The possessiveness is something that can be tempered but not eliminated completely. When I love someone, I think of them as "my property". Taurus' motto is: I own.)"

DEFINITELY. I've said before a Taurus on shaky ground is not pretty. Bull or with enough Tau in them to stand as one, it doesn't matter. Simply must know that we are on terra firma.
11/4/2010 7:12:34 PM | More
ninjamu

31 years old female

Ascendant: Aquarius Sun: Leo Moon

Find a an aqua moon-er. You'll love it!
11/4/2010 8:56:24 PM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Thanks heaps,people

I get the reasons as to why he's getting all jealous and possessive - because he wants to feel safe.

But i can't give him safety when I'm feeling like I'm on trial for things i haven't even done. The questions about cheating and how devoted i am while in a relationship, whether I'd be jealous if he were to be hit on, the fact me being hit on would make him jealous etc etc, it's all a bit much for me. I feel like he's planned it in his head that this is what i will do. I get why, but I'm just niot up for questioning my integrity knowing that I've done nothing to be questioned about.

So I'm holding back because I'm just a bit pissy about the questioning thing, which isn't helping.

If I'd gone out and shagged someone, sweet, I could understand it. Jesus, I haven't even shagged HIM, and I know how sexual he is because I've picked up on it heaps.

Gahhh, I'm in two minds - because the sweet side is really lovely and he's a very giving, affectionate man. But this possessive stuff is suffocating me

How to deal with it? How to do it without resentment about feeling I'm being questioned for things I haven't done and create a compromise where he can feel safe and I get a breather from his jealousy?

I think it's worth the work, I do like him - I just like peace and quiet more and I'm running for that place more than I'm running for his company at present.

11/5/2010 1:00:25 AM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Posted by cutiebullie
it's really tough sorry to hear what you're going through.

hope both of you can get through this and both of you can make a wise decision.


Thank you. I hope we can too. I'm of the mind that nobody is perfect and that there is a level of acceptance needed in order to be happy with someone. I try and look at both sides before i make a decision. However, I find myself arguing to save my integrity, which is always of the highest quality, and I just don't feel i should be doing that

I'll give at another little while and decide whether i feel it's a relationship to pursue or whether I'll keep it as friends only, because he's a sweet man, he's just expecting me to sort his insecurities out and i don't think I can do it alone. He has to do it too.
11/5/2010 2:21:19 AM | More
Mistery

female

I sympathize with you NZ, it's so hard to deal with this when you have the highest of intentions. Um, perhaps he was burned in the past? Has he ever discussed past relationships with you?

You are a strong Aqua and I'm an Aries (pretty strong?) I'm engaged to a Taurus and I know there were times where he showed a tidbit of a sentimental side of himself and looked to me to be the one to get all mushy & romantic first with him. I didn't get it for awhile until I really feel in love with him and then it was easy to see what he was doing. He'd give a hint and want to see if I would follow thru or what could be considered as submitting to him. But it does not mean you cannot have a healthy debate or speak your mind. As a matter of fact, he loves it but he needs to know you love him no matter what, %100 first. Ah, does that make any sense? After this is established between the two of you, he will not question your character anymore. He's provoking you to get in deeper to your soul and that is off-putting but he's looking for total devotion from you first before he can reciprocate. Fire & Air aren't normal compatible signs for Taurus and our perceived instability will make them want to test us. It's what they sense about our energy rather than what is true about our characters. It is a small price to pay because the rewards of being loved by them is worth it (to me anyway).
11/5/2010 2:28:46 AM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Posted by cutiebullie
I dont know why he is insecure does he have kids? Do you have kids? Hows ur lifestyle like compared to his? Are u earning more than him? Do u have plenty of guy friends that threatens him? How often do u see each other? Why do u think he feel insecure? Am sure u have an idea what's the root of all these. Poor thing, both of you should really trust each other otherwise this relationship is dead. It already ended even before it started


He has two kids.
I earn more than he does.
I have many guy friends.
We see each other maybe three nights a week because he has his kids half the week and I haven't met them yet, so we don't see each other when he has them.
I think he feels insecure purely because i don't "do" jealousy. I know he wants to see me display some, but we haven't been in a situation where there's been anything to display it and I don't really "do" jealousy anyway.
He had his ass handed to him on a plate by his ex wife by way of not getting support from her at the end of their marriage.
I do actually trust him, he seems like the sort of guy who focusses entirely on his partner when he has one, so the trust is there for me.

I'm not sure how to handle his need for safety, given that I spend my spare time with him and speak most nights we don't see each other. It's tough atm
11/5/2010 2:35:02 AM | More
NZAqua

40 years old female from New Zealand  

Posted by Mistery
I sympathize with you NZ, it's so hard to deal with this when you have the highest of intentions. Um, perhaps he was burned in the past? Has he ever discussed past relationships with you?

You are a strong Aqua and I'm an Aries (pretty strong?) I'm engaged to a Taurus and I know there were times where he showed a tidbit of a sentimental side of himself and looked to me to be the one to get all mushy & romantic first with him. I didn't get it for awhile until I really feel in love with him and then it was easy to see what he was doing. He'd give a hint and want to see if I would follow thru or what could be considered as submitting to him. But it does not mean you cannot have a healthy debate or speak your mind. As a matter of fact, he loves it but he needs to know you love him no matter what, %100 first. Ah, does that make any sense? After this is established between the two of you, he will not question your character anymore. He's provoking you to get in deeper to your soul and that is off-putting but he's looking for total devotion from you first before he can reciprocate. Fire & Air aren't normal compatible signs for Taurus and our perceived instability will make them want to test us. It's what they sense about our energy rather than what is true about our characters. It is a small price to pay because the rewards of being loved by them is worth it (to me anyway).


On one hand he loves that I'm strong willed. On the other he seems to want a level of submissive behaviour that I'm not comfortable with. I see it that I'm a loyal and faithful woman and that in his head he's looking at me like I might go off and be with someone else. It's quite tiresome to have to hear that. It's also quite upsetting.

I know he needs huge displays of emotion in order to feel secure but I've told him "Look, I'm not a massive emotional-display woman, I can't pull it out of my ass because it will be fake, but i do care for you". It's not enough for him.
I'm Aqua, I don't do these huge displays of emotion in a physical sense, I tend to be emotional through words and gestures but he doesn't get it.

There is a sense of controlling behaviour to him and I'm unsure how to handle it. I'd like to boost his trust because in my head he's quite safe, but in his head he's panicky. Aside from weeping at the mention he might not send time with me or declaring t
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