Question for taurus ladies from scoripo male

kingpin
First post, as I have no where to turn for help and found this forum so thanks in advance! I should say that I'm married, and I know some of you will not agree with this, but I'm hoping we can leave that alone for the purposes of getting through this post. I will say that both my wife and I are, I THINK, at the same place emotionally, in that we are both okay with the current situation, but if the other were to bring up the subject of divorce, it probably wouldn't come as a shock (or disappointment) for either of us.

I've known this taurus lady for several years now and we've always flirted but have never done anything more than that. She's quite aware that I'm married. I haven't seen her in several years, but in the last few months we've begun texting quite a bit. So much so, that she's admitted her love for me several times. That floored me to say the least. I haven't professed love for her, since I'm not there yet. Not only that, but she's gone into some adult-oriented chats about more 'adult' things that I'm sure you can figure out. I AM interested to explore this relationship further, and have told her as much and she seems more that excited at the prospect of seeing one another after so long. At one point she asked me if I would every marry again. I quickly and honestly replied, "of course I would, to the right woman."

So, given what she's said about her feelings and me about mine, I've sort of been pushing her to at least talk to me on the phone. After several missed times and failed attempts, we talked for all of 5 minutes, then back to texts. Since then, she's gone cold on me and I'm just a little confused why.

She was married once briefly to an abuser and I've heard through the grapevine that she pursued another married man several years ago that ended badly for all involved. Is this behavior typical of taurus women? Everything I've read about taurus women suggests otherwise, but I'm at a loss. Is the fact that I've signaled to her a desire to see where our relationship might go enough for her to feel like she's wooed me away from another?
ScarlettGirl
I am not a Taurus, but from my experience, they don't like mind games or to be messed around. They are also pretty serious about loyalty. Maybe she was interested in you initially. But the games and the lack of loyalty has to become an issue sooner or later.
TAURUSbelle
lmao!! @Bullgems's "Whhhhaaat??" ...yea my sentiments exactly.

Well I being a Taurus woman, Married men have approached me before, I don't approach married men. and NO, going after married men is NOT a "TAURUS WOMAN THING"...There was NO way I can take a married man seriously until I saw Divorce PAPERS with BOTH dated signatures, along with the conditions. Maybe she's seeking proof of your affections towards her, to see how far you'll go for her, and she was simply planting seeds in your mind that she WANTS to get married again, possibly to you, but that can't happen until you release yourself. (But even if you did, would she respect and trust you afterwards???...If you could leave your wife for her you could leave her for another...

But honestly, the grounds for how your Taurus is going about snagging you, is not a foundation for longevity. Do you REALLY want to be with someone who is outwardly and unabashedly disrespecting the institute of marriage between you and your wife? You like the excitement from this, and so does the Taurus but she will grow bored and tired of you not taking action towards her direction.

....

"What God hath joined together (You and your wife)..let NO man or WOMAN, put asunder."...

You did choose your wife after all. The reason why you CANT'T say that you LOVE taurus back is because you love your WIFE and deep down you don't want to betray her. I suggest you Discover WHY you wouldn't be surprised if a divorce were to come up. Find out WHAT is missing in your marriage, WHERE has the spark gone? Focus on HOW to save YOUR marriage, NOT how to keep your "side dish" warm.
kingpin
Torro-I hear you loud and clear. Not sharing well (in this regard) is something I DO know about her and taurus females. I'm pretty sure you're right about her like of being wooed and chased. I'll look through the threads to read more about the behavior - thanks!


ScarlettGirl - I'm not getting defensive, but there are no games being played by me whatsoever. She knows I'm married and I've done nothing but be honest with her. Lack of loyalty I understand, and I've always thought that at some point she would wonder, "if he left her for me, what's going to stop him from leaving me for another". I realize that's a concern, but we're not kids - we've both been married and are wiser for it.

TAURUSbelle - thanks for the comments. I agree that this isn't the best foundation on which to start any sort of relationship, but I've been around long enough to know that
1.)not ALL marriages are meant to be (this is what I'm trying to figure out now with my wife)
2.)you can't control how you feel or how people MAKE you feel
3.)sometimes things just happen, timing and circumstances be damned
4.)we ALL deserve to be happy, to love others unconditionally, and BE loved unconditionally

I'm not asking you all whether or not I should stay, go, separate, divorce or how to fix my marriage. I'm simply asking for a read on this Taurus lady's actions.

ScarlettGirl

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

ScarlettGirl
I understand that you feel that this is serious, but it is a game. Maybe not the "haha Im playing a game variety" but unless you are free to do something about your feelings (and you aren't) then you are playing a game of "what if"...."what if I weren't married?"..."what if I could commit to you?"...what if...what if...what if....and what if is a game.

Hey I have been "the other woman" once in my past and I know how addictive it can be. There is this "I am so amazing as a woman I can get this married man to leave his wife...." but that doesn't last. Eventually, the fact that you have to share someone's time, attention, and love kicks in and then the cracks start to form. Let me tell you, when you are sitting home alone on Christmas because "your man" is with his wife and kids.....you get bitter fast. And once those questions start....why hasn't he left his wife yet?....how can he claim to love me yet he sleeps next to her?...I wonder if he still has sex with her?....am I the only other woman?....how can I trust what he tells me when he is lying to her?....will he ever leave her?.....will he ever marry me?....and on and on and on

I also understand being unhappy in a relationship and desperately looking for something or someone to ease the pain and loneliness. You don't want to have "the talk" with your other half because you are afraid that it will be over, that you will be alone, or worse, that you will find out that the problems are largely your own fault.

1.)not ALL marriages are meant to be (this is what I'm trying to figure out now with my wife)
But that is a question for 2 people, you and your wife, trying to add women to your "side" doesn't help you figure out anything.

2.)you can't control how you feel or how people MAKE you feel
Thats very true, but you can control what you do about it. But trying to figure out how to catch a mistress is trying to control how someone else feels.

3.)sometimes things just happen, timing and circumstances be damned
But it didn't just happen..you are actively pursuing methods to catch someone else despite being married.

4.)we ALL deserve to be happy, to love others unconditionally, and BE loved unconditionally
And doesn't your wife deserve that too? You promised to love her unconditionally, but if you can't dosen't she deserve your honesty first?

I am not trying to be judgmental. I am trying to help you understand the woman's perspective. No woman will take you seriously, until you are free.
kingpin
Scarlett - you're on the money. Nothing you said is untrue. As it happens, I've communicated with the "other woman" and have already told her that I didn't feel it fair to keep communicating with her until I got my own issues resolved with my wife. I really appreciate your commments.

ScarlettGirl
Thanks Kingpin....honestly, it will be such a relief when you do.

It's scary and depressing and you may feel like you have failed, but once you are on solid footing, either to rebuild your life with your wife OR to officially break and start building a new life alone, you will feel 1000% better.

I wish you every happiness.
TAURUSbelle
Posted by ScarlettGirl
I understand that you feel that this is serious, but it is a game. Maybe not the "haha Im playing a game variety" but unless you are free to do something about your feelings (and you aren't) then you are playing a game of "what if"...."what if I weren't married?"..."what if I could commit to you?"...what if...what if...what if....and what if....is a game.

1.)not ALL marriages are meant to be (this is what I'm trying to figure out now with my wife)
But that is a question for 2 people, you and your wife, trying to add women to your "side" doesn't help you figure out anything.

2.)you can't control how you feel or how people MAKE you feel
Thats very true, but you can control what you do about it. But trying to figure out how to catch a mistress is trying to control how someone else feels.

3.)sometimes things just happen, timing and circumstances be damned
But it didn't just happen..you are actively pursuing methods to catch someone else despite being married.

4.)we ALL deserve to be happy, to love others unconditionally, and BE loved unconditionally
And doesn't your wife deserve that too? You promised to love her unconditionally, but if you can't dosen't she deserve your honesty first?

I am not trying to be judgmental. I am trying to help you understand the woman's perspective. No woman will take you seriously, until you are free.


AAAAAMEN.





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