Cancer man...dating...erm dealing with Virgo woman

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8/24/2010 11:13:37 AM | More
aujra

So yeah the title says it all. We have been dating a month, having very intellectual topics, stimulating each others mind and planning dates together so they will be enjoyable for the both of us. I have a great time with this Virgo, we are able to talk about things beyond just the mush that really get me thinking and that is a quality that I really am enjoy. We are both very reserved, I'm afraid to give myself up at all and it's gonna take some time and she is too. The problem is I am coming from being hurt by a Scorpio. It is like going from, flirting all the time, joking around, cuddling and just being intense with each other....now over to a woman who seems devoid of all emotion, very matter of fact, afraid to even crack a smile cause it might make her seem less serious.

So far I think I have done things right, I haven't shown any real affection, I've let her know that her intelligence is impressive and I enjoy our conversations and the time we spend together. I've taken the reins and let her in on the dating plans and let her enjoy a bit of her anal retentive let's get this organized and set up but I have still made all the arrangements and overall get the ball rolling on the dates moves. But in the end I'm a Cancer through and through, as much as I am enjoying the time spent and respect how intelligent and even acknowledge that someone like her would be a good long-term bet something stable I need me some affection, even a wink or a damn nudge. So far all I have gotten are "awwwww"'s and you are such a sweet guy, got any tips...am I just going to have to wait it out are you every passionate and affectionate?
8/24/2010 11:36:35 AM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

a) hiya refreshing to read questions aimed at us Virgirls, I'm sure you'll get a PLETHORA of answers (and some questions asked of you , as some of us are dating Cancer men ourselves)

b) I'm really sorry about your painful experience with the Scorpio

c) "So far I think I have done things right, I haven't shown any real affection" - that is not "right". No matter how serious we get, no matter how devoid of feeling and emotion you may think we are (and we may try to appear) we absolutely crave love, affection and attention. We might not allow you to see us turning into mush in front of your very eyes, but trust that inside, we're all giggling geisha girl over any loving gesture.

c) We like to be dominated, believe it or not. Sure, we like to be in control...of ourselves. Secretely, we CRAVE a man who can break that insane drive to always be in command of our emotions and actions, and turn us into putty--but respectfully. If you reach for her hand a lot, if you stroke her hair, smooth her cheek, gentle kiss on the tip of her nose, and even gentler kiss on her lips, I can almost gaurantee that she'll open up to you slowly, like a rosebud in spring.
8/24/2010 11:49:20 AM | More
aujra

Funny you should mention geisha she is actually Asian, traditional too might explain also why she is so reserved and quiet it's in their culture. As far as no affection that isn't entirely true what I mean is the typical Cancer affection which is lavishing them with compliments about how sexy they are how they are the best person in the world, ect ect. No I have let her know that I think her intelligence is very sexy and refreshing and that a lot of the qualities that she has are extremely hard to find and something that needs to be cherished. But she is reserved about even holding hands, I brought it up and she said "we will see about it" she as far as physical affection I haven't had a chance to show her any cause I guess she isn't comfy with it yet. Intellectual and even some emotional affection yeah I have shown that, I'm even trying to not keep her in the dark by letting her know how I'm feeling and giving her small chunks of who I am to analyze and digest. But she does seem a bit cold, she doesn't get excited or disparaged about anything it's all mono-toned talk, she just tends to worry about every little cold. She asked me to see a doctor because I coughed during a date. I know she cares, I know she is interested in me since she has explicitly said it, she has even slipped up and said I'm hot, but she never really shows it just kind of hints towards it.

As far as dominant goes, that is why I am letting her in on the planning of things. I told her that I like things to be 50/50 with each person being unique with their own great ideas and I want her ideas to be apart of things. I am pretty dominant probably since I am a typical insecure Cancer I want to be able to say "Hey I'm doing this so I don't have to worry about hurting myself". I guess the whole repeated action thing does fit her, she said she becomes more and more attracted to someone based on how often she sees them.

Oh and any question about a Cancerian man you might have, fire away I am about as cancer as they come. I'm a damn wreck
8/24/2010 12:00:08 PM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

Ah--well, there seems like there can be a possible issue of tradition to contend with as well. She may come from a reserved background that discourages being too open. That's more than a Virgo issue.
8/24/2010 12:05:15 PM | More
VirgoVixxxen

Damn you Cancer men, aujra. treetrunk do you guys do to us? Everything is usually ALL-treetrunkING-RIGHT in our lives until one of you guys appear. Stirring and awakening all of our latent emotions/passions/fantasies and butter and then being all indirect. treetrunkers.
8/24/2010 12:16:44 PM | More
aujra

Guessing treetrunk = f-word
I'm usually not indirect, I let people know how I am feeling but how I feel can change in an instance but for her I am letting her know what is going on and never making it so she has to guess. Cancer are always pretty good at awakening passions that people didn't even know they had but those passions either really excite us or they scare us away in a hurry. Problem is it doesn't seem like I am stirring up much of anything in her and I really want to, I love things to be intense every now and then I love the rush of knowing how badly someone wants me or how much they are into me, you think she will become more expressive with time?

8/24/2010 12:35:22 PM | More
Candeh15

24 years old female

Ascendent Virgo 1.43

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Damn you Cancer men, aujra. treetrunk do you guys do to us? Everything is usually ALL-treetrunkING-RIGHT in our lives until one of you guys appear. Stirring and awakening all of our latent emotions/passions/fantasies and butter and then being all indirect. treetrunkers.


VV's right. Cancer men are the only men that ignite something in me that isn't even... normal. It's like I'd drop everything I've known just to get with a cancer man. I've been dating one for a little (but it'll end soon because of timing and life issues) and he is absolutely amazing. While I can't say I'm in love with him, I love him as a person and I'm sure we'll be friends for a long time (like how most of my cancer relations go).

Anyway, CLC kind of gave you the run down. You're dealing with cultural differences and the run of the mill reservedness of a virgo here. A good way to get her to open up, at least for me, is to sort of make a secure connection with her. Give her some time, smile, and make her feel like she is the only one and that she can trust you. Also, look out for things she does for you rather than "to" you. Like, watch the things she says, if she's trying to take care of you in some way, and watch her body language. When you gauge these, you can get an insight as to how she's feeling and such. Some virgos are better about showing there affections that actions that aren't related to touch and words.
8/24/2010 12:44:31 PM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

LOL! I just realize I listed c) twice
damn those chocolate chip cookies I was eating at the time!
and damn this site for no edit button!

*itches to go back and hide post*
8/24/2010 12:46:16 PM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Damn you Cancer men, aujra. treetrunk do you guys do to us? Everything is usually ALL-treetrunkING-RIGHT in our lives until one of you guys appear. Stirring and awakening all of our latent emotions/passions/fantasies and butter and then being all indirect. treetrunkers.


Been there, done that.

Ironically? He was into Asian women too.

The reason we broke up--I pushed him to go out there and find the Asian woman of his dreams.

He still hasn't, lmfao.

8/24/2010 12:49:52 PM | More
aujra

Nobody ever seems to be in love with us just love the great caring person we are, I really want someone to love me. Last person that really loved me was a 6 year relationship with a Cap woman but I got bored and bailed on it like a typical cancer would. I guess the things she does are apparent, she wants to chat every night and loves our conversations but I'm the one who ends up calling or texting her, never the other way around but I'm too nervous to refrain from it to see if she will eventually go for calling me. That would be a bad idea right? I guess that the fact that she is still aroudn is a good sign, you don't seem like the kind of stick around for a maybe kind of sign, and she does notice my interests and likes to make sure I am keeping good care of myself and that things are great in my life. She is pretty sweet to me but it's small things that show it.
8/24/2010 12:52:07 PM | More
aujra


Ironically? He was into Asian women too.


I actually have never been into asian women at all, this is the first one I have ever dated or even gone after

8/24/2010 12:53:59 PM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

Posted by aujra

Ironically? He was into Asian women too.


I actually have never been into asian women at all, this is the first one I have ever dated or even gone after


Not implying that all are--I just giggled when I read that part.
8/24/2010 12:57:24 PM | More
aujra

Well I'm not out to find my "dream girl" I gave up on that existing or true 100% love awhile ago. I just want a woman who will appreciate the sweet things I do for them that I can care for and have them care about me.
8/24/2010 12:59:21 PM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

Posted by aujra
Nobody ever seems to be in love with us just love the great caring person we are, I really want someone to love me. Last person that really loved me was a 6 year relationship with a Cap woman but I got bored and bailed on it like a typical cancer would. I guess the things she does are apparent, she wants to chat every night and loves our conversations but I'm the one who ends up calling or texting her, never the other way around but I'm too nervous to refrain from it to see if she will eventually go for calling me. That would be a bad idea right? I guess that the fact that she is still aroudn is a good sign, you don't seem like the kind of stick around for a maybe kind of sign, and she does notice my interests and likes to make sure I am keeping good care of myself and that things are great in my life. She is pretty sweet to me but it's small things that show it.


Before his Asian fetish confession, me and my Cancer had the BEST conversations.

I hate to be smothered, I really truly do--but it never felt like smothering with him when he'd call (and he'd call like 100 times a day). We ALWAYS found stuff to talk about, and sometimes we just laid there, with our eyes closed just enjoying having the other at the end of the phone...weird, but cute, lol. It was sort of long distance (he was a few hours drive away from me), but we had such great communication that we were probably closer than most couples that live in the same house.

The sex was out of this world as well--he was so freaky deaky, could go back-to-back, and was just tons of fun in terms of foreplay and otherwise. Was really great.

I pushed him away when he started dating Asian women who treated him badly, and he came running back to me to stroke his ego so he could get back out there and try with the next Asian woman...who'd hurt him just like the last, and on and on it went. When *I'd* get out there and start dating again, he tried to sabotage my relationships, until I exploded at him one day and he cried and said he wanted me to wait around until he found his "Asian Queen", so that if he never found her, he could just marry *me*. I won't repeat what I called him here, but let's just say he cried some more. LOL.
8/24/2010 12:59:59 PM | More
CLCNY30

female

Creative Virgo

Posted by aujra
Well I'm not out to find my "dream girl" I gave up on that existing or true 100% love awhile ago. I just want a woman who will appreciate the sweet things I do for them that I can care for and have them care about me.


You'll find what you're looking for--just be patient, and if you think she's what you're looking for, then don't give up
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