Feeling betrayed by a Virgo
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«Return to "Virgo" Forum
8/10/2012 12:41:58 PM |
IP
female
queen, dont even entertain P-Angel her sole goal in this forum is to try and point out the flaws of every user in an attempt to make herself feel better. You are human you make mistakes, as long as you understand that you made the mistake then thats the most important thing. You dont need negative nancy over here to reiterate what you've already said, shes an imbecile. Talking to her is like talking to a brickwall, it doesnt matter if you are right and have done nothing wrong she will twist your words because misery loves company. |
8/10/2012 8:03:27 AM |
IP
female
@queenofdawn at the end of the day you dont need to pay attention to the negativity...just take the constructive criticism that you have gained from your thread and run with it.... All in all i wish you the best babygirl just take your time and figure stuff out eventually you will know whats right for you |
P-Angel: Why are you making insulting arguments about an issue I'm not denying? Going through his phone was wrong. Yes, I knew it was wrong beforehand. Show me one person who's never done anything they KNEW was wrong. It doesn't make one's feelings afterwards bullbutter. This wasn't pre-meditated at all. If I'd taken a moment to think about it, weighed the pros and cons, known how it would make me feel afterwards about my own character, no I'd not have looked at the darn phone. And no I don't think all should be forgiven of me because I say it was wrong and apologize. While he seems over the fact that I went through his phone, I'M NOT. I feel disappointed in myself every time i think about it. If I were to do this again, I would think it appropriate to call bullbutter on me. But I won't. The beating my dog comparison? Seriously? So far fetched that I'm not even gonna go there. You call me a bullbutterter so many times that I wonder if maybe you have a different definition - or are you just making reference to my being a taurus? I enjoy reading your comments on threads and I agree with several things you said here - just not that I'm full of butter =-) Awesomevirgyal: "i say give him some time and pay close attention to his attitudes" - yes, I think that pretty much sums up exactly what I want to do. I don't think he's a horrible person, won't cut off ties with him, won't completely rule out a future with him but yes... While he swears he knows what he wants (me), remembers why he's not with her, insists that he was only momentarily flattered and is taking steps to prove that we wants a future with me and only me...they are just words and I don't ever want to be in a situation as that one again. Looking at my post again and then most of these responses, it does seem that I need to take a step back here. Sometimes it's difficult to see a situation when one's IN IT - one reason I'm asking questions on this board in the first place. I'm uncertain, confused, and worried about making poor decisions but I am trying to make the best one I can here with what information I have. I certainly don't want to make excuses - for his actions nor for my own - but perhaps my ramblings come across as such. |
female
Posted by P-Angel
However, regardless of what you did against him ... you have found out enough to issue yourself walking papers ... but, instead of doing what is right AGAIN .... AGAIN ..... you attempt to defend your feelings for him, as if he is worth it. As harsh as P-Angel might be this that she said right here is the truth and im speaking from experience...dont ever make excuses for a man your gonna end up hurting yourself and he is gonna end up hurting you ... |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by queenofdawn Disclaimer: I do NOT think it's okay to go through someone's phone. I'd had opportunities before and never did. That ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ means you knew it was wrong BEFORE you did it. To say in hinsight you were wrong, and act like all should be forgiven of you based on nothing except your tongue saying the words is nothing less than bullbutter. that's equivelant to him knowing it's wrong to text the ex, then saying "sorry" and being forgiven for saying those words .... when his mind KNEW IT WAS WRONG. If you should be allowed to lie, by underhanded like that ... then he should be allowed to. Geese and Gangers |
female
The user who posted this message has hidden it. |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by queenofdawn Giving this another shot is a big deal - not easy for me at all. I don't want to end up a total sucker. I can already see the disapproving looks on my friends' faces. Think I'm being naive in wanting to believe him? However, regardless of what you did against him ... you have found out enough to issue yourself walking papers ... but, instead of doing what is right AGAIN .... AGAIN ..... you attempt to defend your feelings for him, as if he is worth it. AND .. you use the excuse of you being naive. Bullbutterters usually are full of excuses ..... Suffer as you wish .... predictably, women always wish to, and will hold onto it like treasure so they can visit it often |
female
Posted by acrabbycrab12 What are you apologizing for? WHY ARE YOU STILL AROUND AFTER YOU'VE GOT RID OF THE EX BAGGAGE AND HE HASN'T!?!? It is pointless to give it another shot. I can come up with the most brilliant excuses ever imaginable, however, this doesn't mean that I'm over an ex it's just an excuse. Agreed.....^^^^^^ |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by queenofdawn .. I don't quite understand the following statement: "A person who knows right from wrong, doesn't then act on the wrong as if it's honest." You are full of total butter, if you think that he has done some dirty deed, that was underhanded, and for this reason you would mentally accuse him of not being trusted ... if you would then be mistrusting against him yourself. It doesn't matter if you (say) the words that you're wrong .. if you then turn around and do it. It's equivelant to beating your dog, then saying you didn't mean to. Of course, you meant to >>> actions speak louder than words. You (say) that you KNEW << past tense to insinuate BEFORE you did it .. it was wrong, then you did it (actions) ... and then have the audacity to exploit his character for purposes of slanting our perceptions in making us feel that he's done some dishonest deed against you. That makes YOU full of bullbutter |
female
| Haven't read all the thread i dont have the time just referring to your first post....Its good that you can identify when your wrong...thats a good trait ... but if its one thing a virgo hates is when there privacy is invaded more over to be caught when they are wrong...I can tell you this and i speak from experience his heart is split between both of you guys...I dont think he truly knows what he wants ...to me he wants you but part of him still wants her... and giving the fact that they work nearby might be a conflict of interest...you gotta weigh your pro's and cons and while your doing it put your feelings aside for a minute because if its one thing you dont wanna do is be in a love triangle or end up putting your heart out there for someone your not sure is going to be with you wholey and solely...i say give him some time and pay close attention to his attitudes...But as far i am concerned...for me i would close that door and move on...thats just my opinion |
female
| Well I honestly hope it all works out for you, I know from experience that no matter what people tell us we have GOT to learn it on our own or we will always question what if. Either way, if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world. =) |
I know he didn't invite me to his family function in order to do keep me around. Culture/religion is strong with his family. Also, almost all of his family knows my mom really well - and I think therefore expectations were there. They knew who I was before long months ago and see my mom regularly and so it was a big deal. I really appreciate the advice. I think it applies well to where I was 2 months ago. And i don't want to be there again. I did make excuses for him before. I realized that while we were apart. I'm always super aware when my friends do it in relationships and really don't want to do that. While I'm not going to end the relationship right now, I am going to step back and re-examine regularly that I am in a healthy place and that this relationship is good for me. Thank you much - I mean it. |
GodMadeBeauty: You're not coming off as a B or rude at all - I appreciate straightforward honesty. I really hate dating. I'm independent and pretty good at being single and doing my own thing. I'm usually a darn good girlfriend (unless I'm not getting what I need). I dated lightly for 2 years before this virgo though and have no desire to so again. I hate it and I suck at it. I totally agree that a person will only do what we allow them to. I don't actually put up with much usually. Trust is a funny thing. After my prior relationship ended, my ex and I were still talking and I felt betrayed by some actions of his. While he never cheated in the years we were together and I know he loved me (even moved back to my state hoping to fix things) and I will always have love for him, I just couldn't get over it. The current state of our relationship really pains me now but I just wouldn't allow myself to give him the opportunity to hurt me again. Now I think most people would consider this current betrayal worse because the guy and I were together and it was just totally disrespectful and in some ways I do too. We talked A LOT though. Hours...days. And when he thought he was done explaining, thought we were okay, we talked some more. And by the time I'd finally listened to him (and actually heard him), I was able to forgive him (not forget). And I trust him. He's left his phone. I haven't had any urge to look at it. If I do have the urge, it means there's a problem and we'll have words. I know there's the possibility that I'm being naive and seeing what I want to here but I feel a complete difference with him. I think he was able to see what he was losing (haha yes i know how chickeny that sounds) and is really trying to get his butter together. If I have any sort of gut feeling of uncertainty, I won't hesitate to make it known. When we were together before, I felt insecure and let things little things go that I shouldn't have (hence it getting the point it did, I think). I won't feel like that again. I will walk away first.
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P-Angel: Ahh, I wondered when you'd grace one of my posts with your controversial presence. Harsh-seeming but valid, though I don't quite understand the following statement: "A person who knows right from wrong, doesn't then act on the wrong as if it's honest." Do you mean ending things based on the texts I read? Like I shouldn't have ended things based on what I found snooping? If that's the case, fine. I disagree but cool. Or do you think I was justifying going through his phone because I found shady texts? If that's the case, you are mistaken. I made no justifications. Regardless of what I found, it was wrong of me. I didn't claim otherwise - in fact the opposite. No bullbutter. |
female
| Inviting you to things is just a way to keep you, make you feel as if you are wanted. So you dont leave, toxic men/women like to keep people around just to have them around. I know this is long and drawn out I just don't want you to waste your time when there are much better men who aren't going to hurt you out there... We get signs to get away and stay and we ignore them, dont ignore these signs that are displayed so clearly for you. If you do decide to continue with him, thats your choice but my suggestion is to step back and meet other people so you can see that you deserve more than that. |
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