How do Virgos deal with Anger?
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|I'm curious. |
I know it is an individual thing, but I was wondering if perhaps there was a dominating theme in how virgos respond to offense.
My thought is, they would withdraw and not return calls. Would I be correct?
I'm jumping ahead of myself, but if so, is it best to leave them alone and let them respond when ready.
|It takes a lot, I mean A LOT to make a Virgo angry and response is as usual... Calm face appropriate behaviour and then depending on wounds may leave you alone for a while or forever.|
I won't go into details, but I might have unintentionally offended my virgo friend.
I could leave him alone,yet Im too intuitive and I need to say something about it. At the least apologize and admit I said something wrong.
|Donâ€™t be apologic to a virgo creature, it is worsen your situation.|
Instead, calmly (not in manipulative way) explain it to him why and then leave him alone to analyze pros and cons.
|I see. Yes, well truly it was unintentional, so I guess it is best to not apologize.|
|I think Q's right. It takes a lot to make me angry and, as long as I'm talking, things are ok. When I'm really, really upset, I stop talking altogether. In those cases, I always appreciate an email apologizing and then enough time and space for me to work things out on my own. I prefer an email to a phone call simply because it places the ball in my court - I'm not forced to confront a situation I really don't want to deal with. I can't stress enough how important that distance and time is.|
One other thing... if you do decide to send an email I would suggest avoiding any sort of justification. Say what you did, say what you intended, and then say you're sorry. DON'T say that the virgo misinterpreted it or demand anything of the virgo. DON'T assume you know what the virgo is feeling or what they need. DON'T let your need for some sort of resolution override your respect of the virgo's need to detach. Just put yourself out there, apologize, and back off.
If I'm really angry at someone I care about, initially I won't look them in the eye, and my jaw locks in place - I'm holding back what would be very hurtful to them - and I will avoid them. Once I've calmed down - regained control of myself - most times I'll tell them what pissed me off (if they haven't figured it out already).
A sincere apology is accepted, and generally all is forgiven. I won't forget it, but I also don't through it back up at you later on...
|Yes, your descriptions of reactions to offense fits quite well my situation.|
I hope I haven't justified what I said to him, I think I have only explained what happened. I said I was sorry to him simply because it was a hurtful thing that happened, and I am sorry about it.
But now Im wondering if I approached the situation too lightly,(with wit and some trivia)and perhaps I need to explain it more. Im thinking a more explicative email, with more room to respond with honest feelings.
Damn my scorp intuition - it makes me too paranoid, and slightly obsessive.
Keep it simple. Just state the facts. If it was inadvertent, he's not gonna hold it against you until doomsday. Most VirGuys have a long fuse, and some offhand comment ain't gonna get it lit...
|I agree with what all my virgo friends said ... personally if someone is appologising to me for something they did/said and it hurt me I'd rather know why, saying sorry usually is enough for me but knowing why helps me understand them better and in the process know them better ... *hints about pisces gf*|
|thanks to all.|
I had already explained the situation to him in a previous email, and then I was ready to send another email to talk about it again. I waited and waited, holding off sending it. I did not send it. and phew. I'm glad I didn't send it, it would have exasperated the whole thing, because he responded in the end, and he responded well. I know he must have thought about what happened, but I don't need to talk to him about it now.
Im so thankful for your advice. For a scorp I can be extremely impetuous. Virgos are teaching me a better way to respond. Slowing down, and delivering deliberate thoughts and responses.
|Although Ive only known my Virgo personally for a short while Ive not seen him angry but we discussed how we'd be when we're angry...he said "it takes a lot for me to get angry and you'll know about it as I will walk away and leave you be for quite some time, then come back as though nothing happened" and I believe that. He has this constant smile on his face...thats what is so endearing about him....he's like a dolphin - he cant help it |
my virgo female friends are the same...they just retreat and go off to think or do what they have to...they never shout or make bad comments about people. They may nitpic or clean up after you but never say bad things about you, well not to you anyway, in fact, I dont know many Virgos that are gossipers behind peoples backs.....
Being a Leo though? OMG I would fly off the handle, have a good cry (a hormonal outburst probably damnit) and then be over it....quick, fast, perhaps a little painful to others if we're wounded but it'll be over in a flash!!! then we'll be extremely apologetic and that part sucks coz we know we went off too quickly but having said that, it does take a lot to get me that way..it doesnt happen very often but keep clear til the dust settles....over the years Ive learnt to contain that kind of anger though. Its good to have a very steady partner, it keeps us balanced
I received a similar reaction as you mentioned, from my virg friend, just not in person.
I usually hide my hurt and even my anger, and unlike what is expected of scorps I do not brood or seek revenge. Depending on the situation, I will attempt speak about it to the other person.
I just want to say, my best friend is a leo. A scorp and leo best friends, it is the bizarrest thing. My leo friend is like you, she used to get mad and it passed very quickly, and then its all back to give, give, give. They are the most generous people I have come across. They give you everything and anything. I am forever receiving gifts from my friend, even on facebook. lol
|Their emotions are far too controlled to let rip..lol|
I have seen an angry virgo guy at work and its not a pretty sight..he grinds his teeth and slams his fists down on the desk...but he is a loner bless him...
my one just got annoyed once at his plane tickets being delayed...I could sense he was annoyed as he wasn't his usual chirpy self..left him to it and he phoned back later to explain...done..don't pester is the key
|It takes consistent aggravation to get me angry.|
When I am steaming mad, I get quiet and stop talking.
People who tell me what to do or what I need to do, thoroughly piss me off.
The key to most if not all Virgo problems, is to leave us ALONE.
Be direct, to the point without any imposing of oneself unto us AFTER we have had our alone time.