Leo woman and Virgo Man ...will it ever work

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11/14/2007 3:00:03 PM | More
july66

I met a Virgo man about a month and 1/2 ago. At first, he was calling, texting etc... pursuing me totally. He was so considerate and so nice. I been divorced since July. He recently divorced. He admitted he had some financial problems because he is living with relatives and was battling things as a result of a bad divorce. I told him I understood that and we often talked about out problems/solutions etc...The conversations were therapy for both of us. I think we really connected in a way.

At times when I started to ask questions about his situation he would complain of a headache and just say he do not want to talk about it. He do not like questions at all. He would call all the time and want to spend time with me but once we started to get closer he just shut down. He said he just had a lot going on at the time and he did not want to be around me in a bad mood. The calls and texts was less frequent. I had to do all the calling and would leave messages. I really think he should call sometimes.

He sent me a text and said he would call but he never did. Its been 2 weeks now and I have not heard from him. I don't know if I should call him or not. I just want to make sure that he is OK. I really do like him but I am not the one to be a pest or chase someone down if he don't want to be bothered. I think I have given him enough space. I am really afraid to call I don't want to push him away. I don't know if I am being dumped. Any advice?
11/14/2007 3:28:06 PM | More
P-Angel

55 years old female from Planet Neptune  

Just

july66 .. I'll try to give you some things to think about from the Virgo perspective and how they process relationships/life, though, I am not one, so this is from an observers position.

First of all .. a relationship that ends, is a complete failure to them. Unlike many others, who can just walk away .. the Virgo, will spend a gross amount of time .. worrying, fretting, stressing .. why, why, why, why .. what did I do, could I have said that differently, why doesn't she love me .. on, and on. Certainly, everybody struggles with gaining perspective after a relationship has ended, but, for the Virgo, they CANNOT let go so easily within their mind.

As you've noticed .. once you started asking questions, he shut down. This is quite normal for a Virgo. To understand this, you have to view it through Virgo logic .. everything has it's place, their minds are organized, routine, it's like a machine with it's gears running, in-tuned and oiled .. then, bam! Human's are unpredictable .. it throws them into overload .. human emotions do NOT fit within the finely organized and effecient system.

So, keeping this in mind .. it's like a failed system within THEM.

It's not like the rest of us, who can so easily come to terms and get past a divorce .. for a Virgo to end a relationship takes, sometimes, years. They have failed, and this isn't acceptable to them, for they've spent a life-time putting all the pieces together and everything was running smoothly.

If this man says he cares about you, and you know in your heart that they two of you were growing/bonding .. then, I wouldn't give up hope for a relationship. However, you are going to have to prepare yourself for the fact that he might NEVER reveal to you what went wrong in his marriage. Furthermore, if you two do get to being close partners, he will never forget about the wrench that was thrown into his systems and clog up his gears from his ex and will always be leary if he sees signs of this with you.

Virgo's are notorious for clamming up and not communicating, and all the time we get people in here complaining that their Virgo pulled away and won't TALK to them .. so, I just don't want you to think that it's something you have done to make him shut-down. This is perfectly normal for Virgo's.

Here's something to think about ... if a Virgo isn't interested in you, then they don't pull away .. if a Virgo shuts down, then they are interested.

It's sort of the opposite of other signs ..
11/14/2007 3:33:39 PM | More
Qbone

54 years old male from Norway  

Planetary Positions

He is just in the “bad mood”.

If you want to save your relationship, offer him “remote support” but that's all.
11/14/2007 3:43:59 PM | More
P-Angel

55 years old female from Planet Neptune  

Just

What to do?

Email or text him and tell him that you've planned a date of fun.

Make it something you know he would be interested in and enjoy. Make sure it's light and stressfree. While with him, don't bring up anything about his past .. don't ask any questions. Just give yourself to him for the day, as though you two are looking forward, instead of backwards.

DON'T LOOK BACKWARDS .. or, he'll go into shut-down mode again.

The whole point of this date, is for him to see that you are accepting that he has issues in which are his alone to sort out, and that you understand that he isn't going to share them with you (don't say that to him though).

Make him aware by the way you are still standing by his side (without words), that eventhough he may have failed with his wife .. he won't with you because you know what you want .. and it IS him.

Don't worry .. once the date is over and he sees that it doesn't matter to you that he is a failure and that you want him anyway .. he will acknowledge this.

Virgo's think they are failures, already .... our aim (Virgo partners) is to make them know that they aren't to us.
11/14/2007 3:44:10 PM | More
caprigirlwithvirgo

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

11/14/2007 4:24:06 PM | More
Qbone

54 years old male from Norway  

Planetary Positions

There you go.. advices from the inept Virgo experts…!

Lol

And good luck..

11/14/2007 4:30:53 PM | More
Qbone

54 years old male from Norway  

Planetary Positions

Simple question to these lamers…

If you are such a good analysers/advisers, then whey don't you use your own prescriptions for your own affair?
11/14/2007 4:37:53 PM | More
Qbone

54 years old male from Norway  

Planetary Positions

whey=why
11/16/2007 5:03:22 PM | More
DyarStraße

53 years old male from The Deep South  

.......... DyarStraße / dyrstr8z .......


july66,

My Leo Mom and Virgo Dad were a terrific couple - very loving, passionate, and crazy about each other. Frankly, I don't know how Mom did it -- my Dad is even more of a Virgo than I am! -- but I do know their courtship had lots of fits and starts (mainly due to Him!)...

I see no problem with you e-mailing / texting the VirGuy -- just to touch base, and see if he'll respond to you. Depending on his age, and how typical a Virgo he is, it's gonna be a tough couple of months getting something started with him -- lots of ladies give up, and I don't blame them...

My Scorp almost gave up on me, and we work in the same building, and had a connecting network of coworkers and friends to help things along...

Good Luck!!

~DyarStraße
2/8/2008 5:10:31 AM | More
LeoVirgoRising

female

Have patience with this guy if you really like him! I'm with a Virgo and here are a few things I can tell ya.

DON'T
Nag
Yell
Go on and on about the same bs
The more you criticize him, he'll never want to share a conversation with you
Stress so much towards him... it will push him away!
Give him all your personal information and drama... if he's interested, he'll let you know

DO'S
Be confident
Let him know that his opinion is just important as yours
Praise him
Take him to the Zoo and rent a funny/scary movie for that evening
Give him a blowjob
2/8/2008 1:13:00 PM | More
panandgemma

i think LeoVirgoRising tips are spot on! oh that i could live by those few simple rules.

get in touch with the guy, for goodness sake. he may be wanting you to contact him. if you cant be a good friend to a virgo, and simply call to ask how they are doing, they sure as heck dont want you as a lover. that is of course after any initial sexual attraction has faded. (not saying this is your case, sounds like the 2 of you are developing a "connection".)

when virgo makes a mental connection, they want to keep it...they have shared a part of themself with you. they are protective, they want to keep that part of themselves that is now in your heart safe. they want to have the highest regard for you (i.e. no talking about other fellas) they like to see what they have shared w/you reflected back to them in a positive light. leo virg rise has that right, if you can do that, you are pretty much stuck with them.

you say he persued you, so....he let you know he was interested already. i bet he's thinking/worrying about you now too...."why hasnt she called? what did i do wrong?"

note PA's reference to him believing he is a failure in relationships. also "Furthermore, if you two do get to being close partners, he will never forget about the wrench that was thrown into his systems and clog up his gears from his ex and will always be leary if he sees signs of this with you." so true!

and qbone's (hey Q, my B/F is a 47 year old sept 14th) “remote support” but that's all." that's right too, no smothering and questions about why no contact.

keep it simple, what would you do if this situation were with a same sex friend?

good luck :0)



2/12/2008 10:55:03 AM | More
july66

I want to say Thanks! to everyone who responded. All of your insight has helped me understand this roller coaster relationship. Here is an update...

...I did hear from him finally and we went out a couple of times and talked. He is still "very busy" with work and trying to get his life together so his pattern of calling every 2 weeks has not changed. I think we are really becoming real good friends. I am taking it slow with him and being very patient. ( I don't really have a choice but too). He is such a nice guy, I hope maybe one day we could develop a long-term relationship with a closeness. I do have to admit that when he disappears and I don't hear from him I miss him alot. The strange thing is though when we do finally see each other after 2 weeks or so he acts as if everything is completely fine...Odd.
2/12/2008 2:07:25 PM | More
lola1

female from USA  

Im a Leo woman dating a Virgo man also( my first Virgo).. or was, Im not sure if we stil are-lol.

Ive been seeing/talking to him for about 6 weeks now.. The first 2 weeks were awesome, then he got laid off from his job and everything seems to have fallen apart.

I havent heard from him since early Saturday morning and that was through IM he left me @ 4AM..Normally we talk every day.. Yesterday I tried asking him what was happening in a nice way, through e-mail but havent heard anything back from him.. Oh well I guess what will be will be.

One weird thing with him is he ALWAYS texts me and rarely calls me - thats ONE huge Red flag to me. I have never had anyone do that to me and even though I told him i need more communication through the phone etc he seems to want to communicate through texting.How can you get to know someone through texting???.If I do call him -he never answers the phone and will call me back later..So many things going through my mind about this guy and my gut says something isnt quite right so I think Im just going to let this run its course and see what happens. Who knows maybe he is married..
2/12/2008 4:27:03 PM | More
marchgirl80

34 years old

Jennifer Lopez is a Leo and her husband Mark Anthony is a virgo.
4/20/2008 8:00:15 PM | More
wheelhomies

female from a spot in the shade  

was i ever crazy? maybe... or maybe lif

Christina - i actually get along quite well with virgos too and the only thing i have in virgo is my midheaven. one of my best friends is a virgo, i've known her since i was a baby. another is a friend by association but there is actually a lot of mutual respect. in general we tend to mesh nicely (as long as we don't spend TTTTOOOO much time together and as friends). romantically, i wouldn't want to discourage you so i won't get into that.
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