This Virgo Man...Does he want to be with me?

Unstoppabru
So, I'm a Taurus woman and I've liked this Virgo guy for quite a while. We used to be platonic friends in high school but I just recently starting talking to him again and I completely fell for him. For a whole month, we've been talking over Facebook every day. Usually I'll bring something up, talk about my day and ask him questions. He'll give lengthy replies and reply maybe some hours after I message him. The thing is...I'm always the one who has to initiate conversation and keep it going. He doesn't ever ask me anything and even if I stop talking to him for a while, he won't message me. But I can't stand not talking to him for a long time, so I'll just start up again. I drop really small hints like tiny compliments or flirtatious comments but he'll either ignore them or just give a polite "thank you". I told him that if I ever seem like I'm bothering him or I get too annoying then he could just tell me and I'll leave him alone. He did try to assure me that I wasn't bothering him but I don't know. As a Taurus, I like to be chased and I like to feel wanted but I can't ever tell what he really thinks about me.

We did meet up recently. I went over to his house to hang out and it was the first time I'd physically seen him in over a year. When I got there, he was very friendly but he would not look at me. At all. He would either continue cleaning his room while talking to me or focus on something else. If he ever laid eyes on me at all, it was very brief and he would look away instantly. He offered to give me some pins he had in his drawer (I collect them but I doubt he knows that) but I declined (I have no idea why, I was really nervous!). When I left, he said it was nice seeing me again and I just simply left.

We still talk every day but I'm not sure whether he likes me more than a friend or if he's just being polite. From what he's told me when we started talking, he hasn't found anyone he's interested in romantically because he's never found anyone he's ever truly wanted a long term relationship with and he wants to be sure he's found the right one. I understand this completely because I'm the same way but we get along so well and I can't get him out of my head. I don't know if I should let him know that my feelings are more than that of a friend yet because I don't want to be rejected or scare him away.

He doesn't criticize me (which I hear is supposed to be good). Are there any particular signs I should look for?
GodMadeBeauty
The only thing I can really tell you is I am like him, I rarely initiate conversations I actually just got chewed out for that LOL my friend guy said why do I always have to start the conversation I would really like if you spoke to me every once in a while first.
As far as if he's interested in you, I have no idea, try to hang out with him again maybe at the movies or out to dinner or something... and see if he looks at you or even agrees to go.
Virgospirit
Taurus girl, i am a virgo gal, and to me, it seems you are doing all of the initiating. And while he is a Virgo and virgoes do not always express their feelings directly, they do do it thru actions if they lare interested. P,us, being a man, men have the innate drive to pursue and if he is not doing that, he doesn't seem to feel the same way about you. As long as you keep going TO him, he can't exactly come to YOU.

If you really want to know the truth about how he feels, back off a lot. He already knows you like him, and this gives him the space and time to think and analyze how he feels about you. You just have to do nothing at this point to get your true answer. If he doesn't do anything, then he isn't interested. Virgoes talk about everything but feelings (mostly) and we like to act. Give him a chance to do that. No action from a Virgo man usually means no interest.
tiki33
I don't mean this to sound mean but it probably will. If you have to ask if a guy likes you "in that way" then most likely he doesn't. The easiest thing to know about men is when he's "into you" he'll express it in no uncertain terms, ambivalent behavior means he's not that into you because you should never have to read into every little interaction with a man, if you have to do that well it means you're going to be confused because some things he'll say and do will point to interest and other things he say and do won't thus you start reading meaning into the good signs and totally ignoring the signs that point to him not being interested and with that being said.

"he thing is...I'm always the one who has to initiate conversation and keep it going. He doesn't ever ask me anything and even if I stop talking to him for a while, he won't message me."

He's not that into you, men that are into you pursue you or at the most balance it all out by initiating some kind of contact so it won't feel like a chase, as of now you are chasing him and if you chase a guy he'll run, stall, firmly say with his behavior I'm not into you by not initiating.

"But I can't stand not talking to him for a long time, so I'll just start up again. I drop really small hints like tiny compliments or flirtatious comments but he'll either ignore them or just give a polite "thank you". "

Which comes back to what I said, he won't do anything, he's firmly saying with his behavior thanks but no thanks because he's not into you but he likes the compliments and he like how it feels to be wanted "He did try to assure me that I wasn't bothering him but I don't know. " but that doesn't make him want you back.

Being a Taurus you're persistent but I caution you not to fall into "boy trap" by being the one that's doing all of the work, you'll greatly invest your time in a guy that won't budge and then you're stuck in love all by yourself.

I would suggest you stop initiating and see if he budges out of his "girl role" because if he can't initiate then he can't have you and that's really how you have to see things or you'll end up in a relationship dynamic were you are the one doing all of the work/heavy lifting and he's just being the girl, leaning back on you and allowing you to do it all and that's not very fulfilling for a woman long term.

tiki33

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

tiki33
I have Virgo friends and I love them! They do initiate and yeah they can be a little selfish at times but if I mention the one sided behavior they always to correct the behavior immediately.

So maybe you can point out that you initiate 99.99% of the communication and how happy you'd feel if he could balance that out a little bit more but again it comes right back to LEADING him into a relationship and that's just not how love works for a man.

He doesn't appear "INTO" it with you but I wouldn't dump him completely, I just wouldn't make him a priority anymore by easing back thus leaving room for him to step up and initiate which actually communicates that he's interested but until then I suggest you STAVE off the feelings of desperation by chasing him, it's very important that you keep BALANCED inside by dating other guys and having fun with other guys in real life and via communicating online etc and If dating and hanging with other guys isn't an option then you MUST FOCUS COMPLETELY on yourself and your life, your life must come first, your thoughts about your life must come first, this keeps you feeling balanced inside which is very attractive behavior.

Being the only one initiating COMMUNICATES to a man that he's your ONLY priority which actually influences him to do nothing because he doesn't have to because you're doing all of the leg work and you doing that actually PREVENTS anything from happening and actually ENABLES him to be lazy towards you. In other words you are communicating the wrong message non-verbally and that's why hes' stalling, if you drove over to his house, if you initiate contact, if you initiate flirting etc then you are doing all OF HIS WORK and he'll let you do it, you'll inevitably fall in love all by yourself which is beyond frustrating.

tiki33
Don't put all of your eggs in his basket or you'll push yourself off balance and start to behave as if you're desperate and needy, KEEP YOUR BALANCE which KEEPS YOU FEELING AND COMING ACROSS AS ATTRACTIVE, you do not want to appear need, clingy nor desperate and the best way to do that is to keep your options open until you know for sure what's going on with him.

You've done enough initiating, LEAN BACK, allow time and space to do the rest, meaning if enough time has passed you'll create the right space for him to feel at ease with initiating contact. It has to be a 2 way thing or you'll just end up doing a lot of unattractive behaviors that won't help you and instead actually hinder you. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best.
tiki33
My brain is just not working today...

STAVE off the feelings of desperation by NOT chasing him
TaurusBadGirl
I did not read all your post but I guess I know pretty much what it says by reading some of it..but I will tell you this...When a Virgo sees something they want, they will not stop at anything till they get it....but also they take a while to decide if the step they are about to take is the right thing for them..they never like to be wrong or make mistakes...They think alot ..If this guy wants you he will let you know one way or another. He wont let you go that easily. You dont have to tell himm everything you feel for him, but do let him know you care for him more than just a friend. That will maybe help if he has any doubts.

Virgos do like for you to make them the center of attention, tiki33 is right they are somewhat a lil selfish and they want all the attention for them..family friends, everyone.

And also what Let It Be said is very true...

and last but so very true...DO NOT CHASE HIM.

Good Luck
Virggy
From what I know about virgo guys I agree with tiki33. My last serious relationship was with a virguy and he had no problems chasing me. In fact, now that I think about it I have never been the chaser. I know that in this day and age women feel more free to pursue a guy; to let him follow her lead. I am not knocking that at all. However, if you want to know if a guy is into you, the best indicator is to pull back and see if he comes looking. Try that for a bit and see how it goes.
sv
Stop chasing him. While I like women who can initiate the conversation, after the first talks...I like to do the chasing. And well, if I don't then it means I'm not interested - it's quite straightforward. Give him a chance to chase you.

Also, the eye contact thing is normal. I can't speak for all virgos but for this one, I feel it can be "improper" if I'm not very close to the person. Also, the more I like someone the more difficult it is to keep eye contact for more than a second.
Virgospirit
Harry99,

We seem "cold" because we respond to emotions with rationality. We process feelings with our minds. Or stuff them down somewhere.

Most signs don't do that so it is very hard for others to relate, except for Geminis who have a stronger grip on their emotions than Virgos!

Most signs react emotionally all the time but that to us is weakness. Not that they ARE weak, but our instinctive response to people who dont have a handle on their emotions are either they are immature or weak or unstable. I know, it isn't true necessarily, just how we view them.

We are guarded. So we may appear cold, when we are only being rational.
RealTalk
Posted by Virgospirit
Harry99,

except for Geminis who have a stronger grip on their emotions than Virgos!



Like hell they do. They're more emotional in my opinion.
Unstoppabru
Well, I think I blew it. As a Taurus, I'm very persistent and I don't like playing games or letting things hang up in the air. When I last saw him a few days ago, I ended up playing with his hair and being more friendly and he didn't seem to draw away. When we were together, he seemed more comfortable and open than before. The thing is, I had to initiate conversation again and he doesn't reply as much as he used to. He did just get a job but still...you all are right. I hate doing all this initiating and he isn't giving me much of a clue as to how he feels. I've completely fallen for him but I think I'm scaring him away with being too clingy. Is there anything I can do to fix this or am I just doomed now?
GemStar05
Love Virgos but they are a strange lot, lol! So scared to let their feelings go. I feel they miss out on alot in life being so constrained. I suppose it would take another "constrained" earth sign to appreciate that (so glad I'm an air sign and even more a Gemini!) However, I do admire how they are very logical; very intelligent. Love that. And the Virgo I know really cares about people and what they think of him. He's adored by many...I adore that about him...

Just chill for awhile and let him miss you. Check on him every now and then by sending a text or calling "just to say hello". Do this consistently so he knows you care. Don't be overly aggressive but be sincere; he'll come around.
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