When Virgo is betrayed...

Alana
Alden Nowlan
"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise."

A x


down2earthgirlie
Forgive IS sexy. Holding grudges is so immature
sweethearts_1969
Will a Virguy feel betrayed if they dumped you because the didn't feel good enough to be with you and you started dating someone else months later because they shut you out?
haffo
Forgive and forget.

Depends on situation. If a person genuinely wasn't aware about his/her mistake then it's forgivable and forgetable. If a person did something half unaware then it's forgivable but not forgetable. If a person did something plain out like an ass then it's neither forgivable nor forgetable.

So, both forgiving and forgetting can be either dump or stupid and wise.
haffo
Wow I was impressed by what I've written.

I saved it in my comp. lol.
caprigirlwithvigro
Ya - looks real good,self plain falltery!

But actually, I was impressed too by the AND/OR logic and combo.
haffo
"COMPLETE HOGWASH! I don't buy it. Who wants to stay that begrudged with someone? Sorry not worth energy spent not being able to forgive someone."

Not forgiving someone is a sort of defencive mechanism and it has it's own use. If you belive that person has made a mistake and you can see the that this person has a room for growth, then why not forgive him/her? You would just spend that person for nothing. If that person has no room for growth then depending on the situation you can either kick that person or give it time or just accept it as it comes (depending on the situation). If a person did mistake but is not aware of it and is not likely to understand it, then you asses your losses and gains and act according to it. Nobody is expected to be perfect, and people are full with this imperfect people. We just need to understand that not just perfect people are useful but also these imperfect people are too. Shutting doors to them is like shutting doors to 75% of people you will meet.
haffo
What if a person always comes and takes advantage of you whenever it is posibbile. How could you not protect your ego?
haffo
Well I guess if you cease the relationship with this particular person who constantly tries to take advantage of you, then there will be left no more reason to "feel" the resentment unless you dont see that person. I guess having a resnetmental relationship towards someone and actually feel the resentment is two different things. Presense of that person causes you feel it while absense only provides the status of your relationship not a feeling anymore.

I guess this all is goes without saying, but there is never a harm in clarification of the situation.
haffo
Lady

Those are two different things. You can feel resentment in presense of someone, but when you use it against someone else whom you don't know well, then this is totally different subject. I never meant anything like that. What I wanted to say is that you may feel resentment in presense of someone but you can relase it when you don't experience the presense of this person anymore. And it stays only as a "resentmental status" with a person (not with everyone who is somwhow similair to that person) when he/she does not present near you anymore. No feeling here involved anymore.

But feeling resentment towards someone else who has more or less similair characters with person who you met before and being hurt by him/her is different.

I do agree though that feeling resentment towards someone else is wrong in this case. Nobody is guilty for something that others did to you. Everyone is responsible only for his/her OWN actions.
capvirgo
Well that would explain why this girl has been off and on with her affection towards me - sometimes I'm ignored by her and so I don't bother her and the next thing I know we'll be great friends again like nothing happened - lol - I find that I'm somewhat like that myself (I dunno if it's cause of my moon sign being Virgo or simply because I'm a Cap) esp. if someone does something I just can't agree with - I'll ignore them for awhile but I'll be analyzing the pros and cons of the situation (cause I've always believed it's harder to hate a person then to just forgive and forget - sometimes it just takes longer than others depending on what that person did) but almost always I just seem to forgive and forget - life goes on after all
sweethearts_1969
Decan:

I waited for over 3 months before I saw anyone else and he had been seen with several different women just over 1-1/2 months after breaking up with me. The night that he saw me with someone else he went from serious flirting with me and had told me that I am still really cute (he didn't know I was with anyone, which I wasn't and I ended up kissing some guy) to totally ignoring me and leaving the place where we both hang out sometimes. Sometimes I think if I didn't kiss this other guy that there might of been some rekindling between him and I. A couple of people even asked me if we were getting back together and I told them no. I even saw him this last Friday and I was not with anyone but, I would not even look at him, I totally ignored him like he wasn't even there because when he walked in he looked at me with his eyes looking sad and I didn't want to see that. I have been trying so hard to get over him and if I keep looking at him it makes it so hard. I saw him watching me from the corner of my eye all night until I left. He even kept coming over and talking with people that we both know that were sitting right by me but I would not look his way. I don't know how else to deal with the breakup. I have tried so hard to figure out why he would in the first place, to desperately wanting him back, to trying to be with someone else (only kissed, no sex), to trying to be just friendly and now to ignoring him. I can't figure him out and I will never put my heart out there for anyone else unless they express it first.
sweethearts_1969
Damn.......How long is a women supposed to wait for a Virgo Male to figure out what the heck he wants.....huhhhh
sweethearts_1969
Decan:

I can't figure out what he is thinking at all. He shut me out and yes, I can be stubborn and say, fine. When he broke up with me I tried to talk to him and he told me that he wanted to be left alone so I did for a little while and tried to break the ice with him and talked to him and he told me he didn't want to date anyone right now. (This is after being in a relationship with me for months) I felt like I was being dumped like a one night stand and that hurt. I even recently inviting him to go bowling or dinner something (as a friend) and no response. So, when I saw him out this past weekend I just felt like I was wasting my time giving a b*tter and so I need to let my heart heal completely and the only way I can do that is by not looking at him or talking with him (right now) maybe later when or if I have no feelings for him. He told me I was too good for him, before and that he was afraid I would hurt him so, I think he decided to hurt me first and he did. We never even fought. Sometimes I just want to tell him how much of an idiot he is for letting me go. I have never told him that I loved him but I did tell him that I think about him all the time. I feel like I was made a fool of and I don't handle that well. I am not flighty and I am very loyal and honest. I just think he had some bad experiences in the recent past that scared him and I wasn't like anyone else he dated. I actually have a good job, own my own home, and I am very family oriented. I have never cheated and never will because I believe that is so unbelievably wrong and should not be forgiven for. Maybe I missed something.....hummmmm....maybe he cheated on me and he knows how I feel about that, wow, that would explain alot.........I guess I can't assume and I'm sure not going to ask because I wouldn't want to know now because we are over with. Sorry, just thinking out loud. I never even thought of that senario until now. Ok, done now
virgo12
Well, from my experiences of grudges, I get over them suprisingly fast. Whenever I've been betrayed or am upset with someone, the longest I've ever been upset was a week. My anger usually just disappears.
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