my virgo man disappeared without letting me know!

Shinny_girl
i ve read most of the posts on other threads...i felt like these are all mirror infront of me....how can alot of people have exactly same stories!!!

ok..make it short, i was dating a virgo man (30old) for 3 weeks..all went well till the last date...he was so much into me....liking me,missing me...and like all other virgos not into texting, calling or dating much....

but i was happy with him cause i could feel he was really honest with me.

last time i met him i asked him if im a girlfriend or just a date. i asked this cause he had mentioned before that there were girls that he just dated and nothing worthy with them but he had girlfriends that he took so serious.so i wanted to make sure.

he didnt answer directly but said its obvious and showing emotions that sent me signal im his serious girlfriend.

but after that night he faded away...its been two weeks. no call or text or trace of him...i even called him once he didnt answer...and texted him two times and no answer...the first text i sent i didnt know at all that he pulling away.

so im totally confused....i didnt do anything wrong and he was satisfied with me according to what he told me several times.

why he backed off without letting me know....what is he going through to?any chances that he gets back?
Shinny_girl
im leo...

and no, this messaging strategy doesnt work for him for sure and will turn him off more...its so sticky if he doesnt return call or answers and i keep sending and calling like a bug.

if he really needs space then i give him space...its up to him if he wants to come back or no.

i think i showed enough to him that im caring this relationshp.

I wish people could knew what goes on in other's mind. at least i knew if he left or just reserving space!!!
Shinny_girl
I hope you are right and he comes back....he was really my type...the more i think the less can i find anything in him that i dislike...

i ve read posts for other girls with virgo,their virgoes returned to them after longtime ,even more than 3weeks....thats why im not loosing my hope...

yet, i cant understand what makes them to come back after these long abscence...how do they explain why they were not around and how come dont they forget us after weeks?

so complicated signs! what sing are you? ever handled a virgo like this?
Shinny_girl
its his birthday next week....dont know if i have to send any text or no....since no return from him im just confused...dont want to show clingy at all.
Shinny_girl
what would be a good happy BD text that is no teasy or needy yet make him want to meet me...shaking one without offering a date! im not good in that...
P-Angel
"he was so much into me....liking me,missing me..."

"last time i met him i asked him if im a girlfriend or just a date."



3 weeks ... only 3 weeks ....


You believe he was so much into you, that you would project these feelings onto him, as if they are his .. and ask him if you were considered his girlfriend. When in reality .. he wasn't really so much into you, because if he was, then he wouldn't have disappeared on you.

Unfortunately .. women project this onto men, which appears to men as though women are emotionally needy and desperate to cling onto whatever looks like it will handle this woman's emotional need to be needed.

He' likely sitting back right now, going .... "Wow, I thought she was emotionally solid, could hold her own. But, after just 3 weeks, she's already attempting to trap me."

Why do women treat men like this, is what I want to know?

Men aren't females ... they aren't emotionally desperate to have another carry this baggage for them.

You scard the butter out of him when you asked him this question ... any further communication from you that is geared around you appearing to be in need of having emotional consolling will only push him away further.
Shinny_girl
you mean i shouldnt know where im standing in a relationship??? if we cant communicate in relationship then wht is it for???

besieds i wasnt cliny at all...

i was about to send him a Birthday wish text next week...so you think i shouldnt? he has gone totally?
P-Angel
"where im standing in a relationship"

Yeah ... IF ... you were in a relationship. But, you're not, for if you were then you wouldn't have had to ask him the question of whether you were his girlfriend or just a date.

And that ^^^ asking of this question is what makes you appear clingy.


Women do this to men all the time, and it really pisses me off, to be honest .... they try to make an impression upon the man that they are free, independent, emotionally strong, confident woman, in which women know will draw said man to her because the guy is actually looking for a woman who can hold her own and not be emotionally dependent upon him ... then, once she thinks she has him snared, she then attempts to lay an emotional entrapment on him.

That ^^^^ is what makes a woman confused, you know. She thinks the man, himself, is making her confused about his intentions .. when in reality, the confusion is coming from the woman, herself, because she cannot comprehend that she made a false impression of emotional fortitude originally, which wasn't the truth.

The truth is ... she IS emotionally dependent upon a man, she is simply searching for one to whom she can find who will carry this burden for her ... and her false persona's within herself of how she presented herself to him, and how she actually is .... is what has confused her.


Sending him a birthday wish isn't crossing any lines .. I said ..

"any further communication from you that is geared around you appearing to be in need of having emotional consolling will only push him away further."


P-Angel
You said that you read other threads in here about Virgo's ... and I suggest that you read them again, for the actual message, and not just read them for purposes of finding reasons why your Virgo is similar to other V-men .... because, most women just like to cookiemonster about their men, and want a support system for their men treating them in what they percieve as "bad treatment" because to have a support system satisfies the ego with believing it's the man who is treetrunked up, and not anything the woman is actually doing to participate in creating this attitude in the man.

"that there were girls that he just dated and nothing worthy"

If you really listen to what is said about Virgo men .. you will be able to understand what attributes are considered "worthy" to him. He said this to you, and you just blew past fully comprehending what "worthy" means to him, and attempted to project onto him your desire to be of worth to him, by asking him if you were his girlfriend or just a date.

Worth to a Virgo man revolves around many things ... the main thing is for a woman to be emotionally strong. He NEEDS a woman who can hold her own, who is very capable of maintaining this fortitude without him nurturing this for her.

By you asking him this question = not worthy, and just like the other women to whom he dated.

I'm not suggesting that you did anything intentionally to push him away, and certainly, your tone indicates that you are wanting to make things right .... I'm saying that you inadvertantly displayed to this man the complete opposite kind of woman he is seeking to complete him.
P-Angel
In your position ... I would send him the birthday wish, and nothing more. Don't put any kind of words in it to suggest you are in need of any kind of emotional support from him to express where this relationship is.

Three weeks is nothing to a Virgo ... and he is likely thinking that you are a desperate woman to want to have clarity this early in the courtship.

What you need to do at this time, is to carry on with your life displaying that you are a strong woman who can live everyday without him providing anything to you. You'll have to find a way to show him this .. maybe hang out with friends at a place you know he will be, so he can see that you aren't dependent upon him to make you feel needed. However, don't ignore him, spend time with him as well ... just make sure he understands that you are capable of living fully, all by yourself.
Shinny_girl
i think you are right...i shouldnt have asked him that question...i didnt want to ask...my friends said ask him...and me the fool gal listened to them....such an idiot i am....

but still he told me he will talk to me later....so he still wanted...yea ,but probably later he sat and thought and ouch!!! what a mess i did!

ok, i will just text him happy birthday.....and hope he doesnt take it as a desperate girl...i never shown to him im emotionally attached girl...he always said that....but that last time....uuuuhhhhh...i just cant stop thinking....

but really are there any chances he comes back??? or he totally has forgotten me....why sometimes do we do things that regret us later while we know we shouldnt do them...
P-Angel
We're human


Try not to panic .. if this is meant to be, it will happen.

The main thing you just have to keep in mind at this time, as you wait for him to come to grips with this potential relationship, is that because he is a Virgo, which equates to analyzing EVERYTHING over and over and over again ... is that this mental evaluation takes a very long time.

They will NOT rush into a relationship hastily .. their minds are extremely organized, and all details have to be put into perspective before they are able to approach relationship terms.

So, you just have to be patient .. very, very patient.

Don't worry about his intentions with you ... for as sure as I'm sitting here, I can guarantee you .. a Virgo says what they mean, and they mean what they say .. so will not be left in the dark. Perhaps, while they are going through their mental masturbation, you won't know what's going on .. but, once he decides how he feels about you ..

.. he WILL tell you .. I promise. Just don't expect it to be on a spur of the moment thing, because his mind won't allow him to be rash.
Shinny_girl
i hope its like what you say about their mind....i just wonder how they can remember the person and even think of her when they ignore her totally for weeks....

well yes...im still thinking of him cause i dont know what happened that he left and i like him....but im not sure he is still remembering me or not!!!!

im patient enough to wait.....dont want to rush to another relationship now so i can wait....but how long,i dont konw....only if i knew what he is going through
Shinny_girl
labeling?? i just wanted him to know that im not there for only sex...though he never pushed me for that....thats why i wanted to be a gf....and im in the middle east...people here have different point of view towards the gf/bf and dating relationships....he was christian but still views are different from western people.
Shinny_girl
u made me smile....being in the middle east doesnt mean my family will put pressure or etc...
im alone here and he is alone here too....our families are in other countries..we are from different nationalities...and i think yes...probably you re right...he thought this girl will be bug me....

who knows....guys never give time to girls to prove themselves ....they leave without knowing you....

im not sure if i have to send him Birthday text or no...he was so great in my birthday and i just want to send him a text to be polite...but he may take it as pushy,needy ,clingy

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