virgo men and distance/space/disappearing

caprigirlwithvirgo
v-lady,

Real virgos I know can't forget their real love that easily (there are some weird virgos as well that keep on marrying again and again and keep on talking about their "loves" but they are a few..and not that hard core virgos)

It takes a while for them to love and forget some one, but if you handle him very patiently and maintain that delicate balance, it shall work after a long time.

Be positive and think positive.
caprigirlwithvirgo
DC...

Take it easy and take care. I will offer a prayer for you tonight.

...
tollbooth
"Here's what I'm struggling with at the moment. I'm dating a Virgo. We've been growing closer and closer and on Monday had an incredibly intimate, profoundly emotional sexual encounter. I haven't heard from him since."

Was this a "planned" happening? Or was the encounter more of a spontaneous event? Us V-men prefer lovemaking to be scheduled and pre-approved. Has more to do with our sense of wholesomeness and scheduling, rather then getting caught up and letting go in the rapture of the moment. Perhaps you embarrassed your chaste Virgo, V-Lady?
v-lady
Oh goodness, I didn't even think of the pre-approved aspect. It was about as planned as you can get without actually pulling out a calendar. On Saturday night, we had a super racy internet chat. On Sunday, we had a super racy internet chat, each went to bed at midnight, then both ended up online two hours later unable to sleep because we couldn't stop thinking of having sex with each other. On Monday, he was able to get away for an hour to come and see me. That seems to be the schedule we're regularly on. Needless to say, I am feeling a bit like a just like me (but I'm also getting a perverse satisfaction out of that element of possession).

He's a father to a two year old child. He's a surgeon. He teaches and does research. Every part of his life is planned down to the minute. There really isn't a lot of room for spontaneity.

And as an update... I just had an online conversation with him. Apparently, he's been really busy with work for the past couple of days. Interesting bit was that we only talked about Monday night's sex once. I was talking about something going on at work and, as we were changing topics to something equally unspectacular, he interjected to ask whether or not I liked the sex on Monday. I said I did, he affirmed that he enjoyed it as well, and then we moved on to more banalities. Nice conversation, but nothing that makes immediate sense to me in terms of what's going on in my head. I'll need to sleep on this.
tollbooth
Ahhhh!.....he's a scholarly, educated Virgo, is he? Arent all of us V's?

More than likely he was breathlessly awaiting that moment in the online conversation to blurt out his fear of rejection, by affirming if he was able to please you? That is, after all, our primary purpose in this world. Giving of ourselves to others.

caprigirlwithvirgo
v-lady,

what is the age difference? Is it too much?
If so, you may need to process slowly , in particular in physical areas.
v-lady
New day, new set of neuroses.

Thank you so much, tollbooth, for that perspective. When he only mentioned Monday night that once and only to see how he performed sexually, I thought he was telling me that the whole experience was irrelevant (or at least had significantly less impact on him than it did on me). It never occurred to me to think that he was actually quasi-nervous about his performance. I do have to say, though, that I am sorry he didn't say anything about his own feelings. I should have asked.

Capgirl, I'm 33. He's 36. I don't hold chastity as being particularly sacred and with the right person I'm ridiculously "easy". There's nothing left to blush over when it comes to the physical stuff. It's the emotional aspects where we both move very, very cautiously.
caprigirlwithvirgo
It's the emotional aspects where we both move very, very cautiously.
************

You got that right! I agree with this, emotional stuff is the one we need to be more cautious about..
Queenscorpio
***I'm also telling myself to remain non-emotional. In that sense, I've decided that I'll be warm and receptive when he does get back in touch. Then I'll wait a bit and explain to him what I'm thinking in terms of my needs.

And I'm sure every water sign reading this is thinking "wtf"! Whatever***

Uhhh, me being a water sign, think this is an excellent choice. I don't believe in smothering. You know he cares for you. Give him his space, it sounds like he will be back when he is able to handle this.

My chi-town girls was up!!! V-lady and Starfish!!!
v-lady
treetrunk it's cold. You rock on starfish for not letting it get you down.
v-lady
QS... How's everything going with your virgo? It would blow my mind if yours and mine were in sync.
v-lady
Things are jumping to mind that I completely ignored earlier thanks to DD.

My virgo is really, really curious about whether or not I enjoyed myself. I think all men care (unfortunately to varying degrees), but my virgo is really, really insistent on receiving that validation. It's only occurring to me now that his interest really is about feeling wanted to a degree that I haven't seen in other signs before.

They're definitely complex.
P-Angel
Well, every person I've ever slept with (sober) .. we knew.

In my opinion .. if a person can't tell by how their lovemaking was making each other "feel" and it has to be told, then somebody isn't paying attention, in which case .. if they aren't paying attention .. then the lay was crappola. ;P
v-lady
I totally don't want to rain on your parade PA ( ), but consider it from a different perspective... What if it's not about trying to figure out whether or not the sex was good? What if it's about confirming the "oh my God was that as incredible as I think it was?" feeling that you've got with your partner?

Two sides of the coin. Just saying.
VIRGOEXALTED
One thing I know is that I despise being probed. I have my reasons and they don't personally relate to you otherwise, I'd just flat out tell you. I don't fear being hurt either, I can open up completely and I hold nothing back; I want to be deeply in love with a woman before I do; I don't like superficiality in general, it turns me off faster than anything. If I feel like I've got to hold back for you, I'll just leave you; I don't like a weak woman, it's unattractive; I'm looking for a partner in the emotional sense of the word. I hold my feelings at BAY, they exist but they aren't easily envoked by anyone....there's something special that girl has to have before I say 'your mine'. I don't settle for anything less than what I want;. My passionate side comes from my extreme focus on you; When I do crave you, you'll probably tire out before I do; all I ask is that you never refuse me emotionally/sexually (these two are relative to me, there's no point in having sex with a woman you aren't emotionally attached to) and I'll keep coming back for more; I dont want to be in a relationship where my vindictive side is envoked and I have to keep things hidden; I completely switch..... I go from angelic to demonic in nothing flat. I want honesty and I'll be happy to lead the way.
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