Posted by TraditionalAquarianKindaPosted by Onimusha01Posted by TraditionalAquarianKindaPosted by Onimusha01Posted by TraditionalAquarianKindaPosted by ladylibra21
Third times a charm
Ask him what he meant by it. He'll tell you. If you read between the lines, if it seems like one of those answers, you'll have your answers.
Yes, I definitely agree with this... But be sure you are ready for the answer...
In my opinion, he was telling you what was in his head at that moment, he probably likes you but he doesnt want to hurt you, when Im hooking up w someone and I start to catch feelings but in the back of my head I feel its not going to work and I dont want to hurt the person, i put them back on the friendzone (most of the times they never talk to me again and its okay bc In my mind I did the right thing)... Specially if there is an ex that I have unfinished butter with.... when we love someone, its hard for us to walk away, even tho we know its hurting us... We are very stubborn people and we love very hard. He is emotionally unavailable now. that's what he meant to say w that. and it probably has nothing to do with you but with him. I would just be there as a friend, that could be what he really needs now. Most of the times, we dont really know what we want.
People can be put in the friend zone without the slightest clue, it's kinda unfortunate for whoever isn't us. If we even slightly feel like it won't work for whatever reason we've come up with we will detach emotionally.
You know I think I know what that mean by emotionally detached after all these years lol. Well i mean we detach easily from people we never really cared for but act like we detached easily from people we actually love when we're dying inside watching them love someone else but you'll never know unless an Aquarius tells you. I guess I could see how people would really come to hate us, that butter would annoy me.
Yes, Its harder when we have to detach from someone we love, but its crazy how we make them believe we are cool.. omg! ive been there done that... That hurts more than the breakup itself. Bc I had to force myself to stop thinking, wanting and loving that person. uff! its done now! but I felt in hell.
Im still working on mine. We know how long it takes to process letting go, takes us longer to me, and I think we go into relationships realizing that eventually it'll end, at least I do. Maybe which is another reason we're so cautious.
How did you finally let go? I need help on that.click to expand
Posted by nano
I agree with everyone on this post except the starlord person....LOL to expect men to know the intricacies behind the things women do. To say shame on him for not coddling the push and pull this early in the game. To me, this person (I assume woman) does not seem to understand men. Men are clueless, dude! You gotta spell butter out word for word for them sometimes. Guys are not mind readers and its not his job to reassure a person constantly at the very first stage of dating. Play it cool... reassurance comes later when you have a better feel for each other and know where you both stand.
This guy is confused as treetrunk. You might have lost him. If this were me and it was THIS early into the dating game, I would probably think you are too much work and high maintenance. I would back off and you probably wouldn't hear from me again. I think he was telling you the truth too... gemini men can definitely do crazy, but disrespectful..... hmmm I don't know. It depends on how much he likes you.
Another thing to consider - on the too much work and high maintenance thing.... he might just consider sex now because he could see you being too much work emotionally, esp given his busy schedule - does he like you enough to invest his little freetime into a relationship?
Depending on how much you like him, and I think you do, you might even consider apologizing to him if you think that your behaivor was out of line. You should just be honest with him - can you show up to his motocross race? Say something like - "Hey I'm really sorry that it seems like I've been pushing you away, but the truth is that I do like you. I tend to self sabotage when I date as a defense mechanism and I know we laugh things off a lot, but I was concerned about a few of your behaviors and just wanted to know where we truly stand."
But then you have to listen to him and can't keep behaving that way!
I talk about my relationship a lot in therapy and my therapist says that all these psych studies have been done and it seems the #1 reason for fights and breakup, is because we behave according to expectation vs according to what we actually want. I.e. - you treated the gem the whole time like he was a treetrunkboy trying to treetrunk you and then treetrunk you over, because you expected that of him, but we don't even know if that was the case yet.
Give him time to let him reveal himself to you. Take things slow so that you don't do anything you might later regret and you will be able to see him with clearer vision and thus act accordingly.
I also don't agree with waiting this one out - you need to make the next move after what happened between you two and I would make a sincere one. No jokes, selfies, etc.
Posted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by LionTamerPosted by WittyGem88Posted by LionTamer
those messages always weird me out
like girls would text me that they got home and i’m like why is she texting this to me
i probably lack manners somewhere though
So it bothers you when a woman does that. Hahaha so you mean you never say when you got home? Why? I wanted to understand a man’s brain.
nah just weirds me out
like okay i wasn’t asking but okay
i guess i assume people always get home
where else would they go
True. I mean that is common sense but then do you never worry if she actually got home safe? Or for example if she hung out with other people and didnt get home that evening... it doesnt bother you at all?
No, not anymore.
I also don't like this "I'm home " kind of message as they don't really mean anything.
They are only appropriate if there is a real context or more to it.
Otherwise I would just ignore it.
And you wont bother letting your partner know even. Ok so am i just being petty now? Or again, my expectations are getting in the way?
Well, you ended things with or didn't you?
He likely is hurt, doesn't care anymore and just lashes out in a passive aggressive way.
I did yes. So everytime we argued in the past he starts taking away things he used to do for me. But then he says he didnt want to breakup. He wants to stay together. Leaves me voice messages and said i love you but now hes gone again. Hes like... in and out... i dont like it. I feel like i cant trust him
How is he supposed to trust you?
I mean why do you need to know where he is all the time and all?
Trust has to start somewhere with one person.
If both sides just sit there distrusting each other, waiting for the other to trust first, well , nothing is going to happen.
He may feels like you try control him, forcing him to do things with your expectations.
Well its why i was attentive to him before. I tell him everything so he didnt have to worry. I guess i was expecting the same. And he once told me maybe he feels more secured in the relationship than me and i almost told him its because of what i do for him. It wasnt really about controlling him.. it was more about helping me out because i dont know how to trust him yet.
I don't think it because of what you did but more because he is willing to give you a basic amount of trust.
You seem to do things only with an specific goal in mind which might create some subconscious attitude in which you want him to make similiar sacrifices.
You expect something in return for what you do and that might not sit too well with him.
You owe him nothing and vice versa.
Love is supposed to be free and what you decribed so far seems to be a bit apart from that.
I can't put my finger on the exact why though.
The way I think is a typical gemini mind i think. After all i got mercury in gemini in 10th house which is a weird ass thing. I have to admit before i do something, i almost always have calculated the risk involved and i do it unintentionally. Before i do something, i lamost always thiught about the posisble outcomes in three levels including one that i dont like. Its more like a natural reaction to my surroundings. And part of me expects he thinks that way too. For example if i do something like give him a letter, i expect him to say something like thank you babe i really appreciate it. You made such an effort. But if he just reads it and smiles and puts it away — it didnt meet my expectations. And i did the calculated risk in my head. I wrote something. I made the effort why did he not appreciate it as much as i thought he would? Thats just an example which didnt happen between us because he actually hugged me and made out before work when i gave his card. Lol. But yeah...
To be honest it sounds a bit like a little selfetseem problem might be an underlying driving force for such a behaviour/attitude.
How much do you have in Capricorn?
I’m a 10th house dominant actually. Mercury in Gemini, 10th house. Venus in Cancer, 10th house. Saturn and Uranus in Capricorn 4th house. Neptune in Capricorn, 5th house. And yes I think that self esteem has something to do with it due to my past experiences. I tend to remember the pain and I try to avoid the same thing happening twice to me. But then each and everytime, a new pain happens even if i avoid the same thing from happening.click to expand