Posted by nano
I agree with everyone on this post except the starlord person....LOL to expect men to know the intricacies behind the things women do. To say shame on him for not coddling the push and pull this early in the game. To me, this person (I assume woman) does not seem to understand men. Men are clueless, dude! You gotta spell butter out word for word for them sometimes. Guys are not mind readers and its not his job to reassure a person constantly at the very first stage of dating. Play it cool... reassurance comes later when you have a better feel for each other and know where you both stand.
This guy is confused as treetrunk. You might have lost him. If this were me and it was THIS early into the dating game, I would probably think you are too much work and high maintenance. I would back off and you probably wouldn't hear from me again. I think he was telling you the truth too... gemini men can definitely do crazy, but disrespectful..... hmmm I don't know. It depends on how much he likes you.
Another thing to consider - on the too much work and high maintenance thing.... he might just consider sex now because he could see you being too much work emotionally, esp given his busy schedule - does he like you enough to invest his little freetime into a relationship?
Depending on how much you like him, and I think you do, you might even consider apologizing to him if you think that your behaivor was out of line. You should just be honest with him - can you show up to his motocross race? Say something like - "Hey I'm really sorry that it seems like I've been pushing you away, but the truth is that I do like you. I tend to self sabotage when I date as a defense mechanism and I know we laugh things off a lot, but I was concerned about a few of your behaviors and just wanted to know where we truly stand."
But then you have to listen to him and can't keep behaving that way!
I talk about my relationship a lot in therapy and my therapist says that all these psych studies have been done and it seems the #1 reason for fights and breakup, is because we behave according to expectation vs according to what we actually want. I.e. - you treated the gem the whole time like he was a treetrunkboy trying to treetrunk you and then treetrunk you over, because you expected that of him, but we don't even know if that was the case yet.
Give him time to let him reveal himself to you. Take things slow so that you don't do anything you might later regret and you will be able to see him with clearer vision and thus act accordingly.
I also don't agree with waiting this one out - you need to make the next move after what happened between you two and I would make a sincere one. No jokes, selfies, etc.
Posted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by SeleukosPosted by WittyGem88Posted by LionTamerPosted by WittyGem88Posted by LionTamer
those messages always weird me out
like girls would text me that they got home and i’m like why is she texting this to me
i probably lack manners somewhere though
So it bothers you when a woman does that. Hahaha so you mean you never say when you got home? Why? I wanted to understand a man’s brain.
nah just weirds me out
like okay i wasn’t asking but okay
i guess i assume people always get home
where else would they go
True. I mean that is common sense but then do you never worry if she actually got home safe? Or for example if she hung out with other people and didnt get home that evening... it doesnt bother you at all?
No, not anymore.
I also don't like this "I'm home " kind of message as they don't really mean anything.
They are only appropriate if there is a real context or more to it.
Otherwise I would just ignore it.
And you wont bother letting your partner know even. Ok so am i just being petty now? Or again, my expectations are getting in the way?
Well, you ended things with or didn't you?
He likely is hurt, doesn't care anymore and just lashes out in a passive aggressive way.
I did yes. So everytime we argued in the past he starts taking away things he used to do for me. But then he says he didnt want to breakup. He wants to stay together. Leaves me voice messages and said i love you but now hes gone again. Hes like... in and out... i dont like it. I feel like i cant trust him
How is he supposed to trust you?
I mean why do you need to know where he is all the time and all?
Trust has to start somewhere with one person.
If both sides just sit there distrusting each other, waiting for the other to trust first, well , nothing is going to happen.
He may feels like you try control him, forcing him to do things with your expectations.
Well its why i was attentive to him before. I tell him everything so he didnt have to worry. I guess i was expecting the same. And he once told me maybe he feels more secured in the relationship than me and i almost told him its because of what i do for him. It wasnt really about controlling him.. it was more about helping me out because i dont know how to trust him yet.
I don't think it because of what you did but more because he is willing to give you a basic amount of trust.
You seem to do things only with an specific goal in mind which might create some subconscious attitude in which you want him to make similiar sacrifices.
You expect something in return for what you do and that might not sit too well with him.
You owe him nothing and vice versa.
Love is supposed to be free and what you decribed so far seems to be a bit apart from that.
I can't put my finger on the exact why though.
The way I think is a typical gemini mind i think. After all i got mercury in gemini in 10th house which is a weird ass thing. I have to admit before i do something, i almost always have calculated the risk involved and i do it unintentionally. Before i do something, i lamost always thiught about the posisble outcomes in three levels including one that i dont like. Its more like a natural reaction to my surroundings. And part of me expects he thinks that way too. For example if i do something like give him a letter, i expect him to say something like thank you babe i really appreciate it. You made such an effort. But if he just reads it and smiles and puts it away — it didnt meet my expectations. And i did the calculated risk in my head. I wrote something. I made the effort why did he not appreciate it as much as i thought he would? Thats just an example which didnt happen between us because he actually hugged me and made out before work when i gave his card. Lol. But yeah...
To be honest it sounds a bit like a little selfetseem problem might be an underlying driving force for such a behaviour/attitude.
How much do you have in Capricorn?
I’m a 10th house dominant actually. Mercury in Gemini, 10th house. Venus in Cancer, 10th house. Saturn and Uranus in Capricorn 4th house. Neptune in Capricorn, 5th house. And yes I think that self esteem has something to do with it due to my past experiences. I tend to remember the pain and I try to avoid the same thing happening twice to me. But then each and everytime, a new pain happens even if i avoid the same thing from happening.click to expand
Posted by nanoPosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by nanoPosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by nano
Something about having sex with an ex post breakup makes it 1000x hotter.
I’ve never been with an ex. I wouldn’t do it unless I no longer had any feelings for them or they wanted to try again.
You would have sex with an ex if you no longer had feelings for them?
My Gemini ex tried to say that with me but I knew it would make HIM more attached and it was unrequited at that point. He told me that if I ever came back, he would dump whatever woman he was with at the time. He started to see someone and she banned him from ever speaking to me again lol. I guess I see her perspective.
I had sex with my aqua a lot post breakup. We still loved each other very much, but couldn't communicate with words. The relationship is so dead when you can't find common ground with words anymore. It was like our last attempt to connect or something. He eventually cut it off because he said that it was resurfacing all these feelings. I had agreed but didn't want to let him go. It was painful.
Maybe. Truthfully it would probably make me feel attached again, depending on how things had ended.
Why did you sleep with the Gemini if you knew it wouldn’t be good for him?
The Aqua one sounds like you were still trying to be together.
I see. Well I didn't sleep with the gemini ex again (maybe 1 time immediately after, can't remember) , but he was always asking me to. For years afterward and even after the aqua and I broke up... He was super watery and sensitive and I just knew that it was not a good idea so I never even went there.
And yea... probably. About the aqua. That one kind of destroyed me at the time. I loved him so muchclick to expand