"he was married for about 4 years. His wife cheated on him with her boss"
And he has his own to work on too. That ^^^^ is one of his emotional injuries that treetrunked with his head, and so now, when you go out with someone from work .. he's gonna freak, Wilson.
I realize that you realize all this is in place .... but, I don't think you realize that the two of you have to WORK on these issues, as a unit.
They aren't going to just vanish.
To gain each other's trust, means you both have to openly face what is haunting you, and put forth effort in focusing to NOT tamper with these aread insensitively.
For example .. what if he started gawking at another women? This is a sensitive area for you ... he must be conscientious about this. Well, you going out with someone from work for drinks is a sensitive area for him, Wilson ... and you must be conscientious about this.
This can work, any relationship can work .. so long as these two people work together, rather than in spite of.
In the other thread, where this whole fiasco happened in the bar .... you asked how do I get him to forgive me?
You have to realize something here ... a person should NOT just forgive another for pain, simply because you ask for it, if there is no desire to make it better. Do you know what I mean?
Here's an example, beit, a drastic one, but, still the same principal ..
My first husband used to beat the crap out of, a wife-beater, on a daily basis ... and afterwards, he was very sincere sounding in his apology, would cry and ask to be forgiven. The first time I believed him and I forgave him ... should I have forgiven him the 2000th time he did it?
Do you see my point here? To just want to be forgiven for something because it will make us feel better about yourself ... doesn't mean anything of value to yourself, or the other person .. if self-awareness isn't faced.
I'm not meaning to make it sound like what you did in the bar was this severe, because it wasn't ... that was only an example to drive the principal of my point across.
Relationships aren't about reacting to each emotional spike without any conscious examination of how and why you feel what you do.
And I'm talking about both of you here, not just you ... if you and him want this to work, then you need to face your demons.
"In my past relationship, I had to fight so hard to get my bf's attention. He never complimented me and was constantly gawking at other women. I now find myself treating my Aries as if he was my old bf. My Aries has been nothing but respectful and attentive. I am just SO used to feeling as though I am in competition with every other woman that it's been hard for me to break that pattern."
Wilson, the above is what you wrote on January 6th of this year, as an explanation of why you ignored him in the bar that night, by giving all your attention to another man.
I need to you think about this .. you need you to think about this if you truly want a relationship with this man.
You said .... "My Aries has been nothing but respectful and attentive" .. so you know that he is trying here. And you also know that you have some emotional baggage you are carrying around stemming from a prior relationship.
Judgeing from how this whole relationship has been developing (according to what you've written in here) .. your Aries man is now becoming very suspicious of your intentions with him, and is feeling very ignored when he tries to give his attention to you.
I realize that this something that you find yourself doing subconsciously, like a habt, because you've been tramatized, and it's not until after-the-fact that you realize it's impact on him .. and that's ok, we all have ourselves programmed/conditioned for whatever reasons ... but, the thing is ... a part of having this awareness present in us is for growth.
It's one thing if you were ignorant to it, and had no awareness ... but, you do know, you do know that because of a past injury, that you are treating him wrong .. because he is NOT that other man, and to do that is unfair .. you KNOW that he is trying to treat you with respect and attentive to you.
It's alright if you have this injury .. it's NOT alright that you fail to work on it, when you KNOW it's a part of the catalyst in which is causing you and him grief.
The tone is being set for this relationship, as all with all relations ... and instead of it being one of trust, it is one of mistrust ... and it's stemming all from the two of you not facing your demons and expecting the other to have trust, when there isn't effort being put into obtaining this, rather effort being put into creating mistrust.
I haven't responded until now because we weren't in communication. We finally talked last night but it had been two weeks. Our time together has been short (6 months) so I have been trying to keep a level head and not let my emotions completely take over. To answer the questions above, he was married for about 4 years. His wife cheated on him with her boss. Their relationship is fine. He is completely done with her but she has been trying to get back with him for a while. They have been divorced for 6 years. He has some sag in his chart and a lot of Pisces (venus in pisces).
anyone that needs constant reassuring seems to have some growing up to do. It is just not healthy, it's not normal for most aries I know... there might be that initial curiousity or feeling of attempting to conquer you or having you put them first, after that... meh... any aries agree on this? Aries guys can be all of those things you describe but it doesn't last for too long, if it does, I would be worried
From my experience with an Aries everything you described seem to be the normal. I can see why he is not answering. I went trough the same thing. He likes to constantly know what I am doing, or who I am with. It doesn't really bother me because in my past relationship there was never any jealousy or caring what I do...so I preffer this. I am a Scorpio so we have that in common . From what I can tell so far they need constant reassuring otherwise they are ready to give up. I hope you guys get to talk again. Once you get use to the jeaouly issues and once he opens up more trust me they can be very carring and passionate. Mine is love of my life as odd of a match we are Best of luck
Since my lasts posts, things have been going really well with my Aries.
His main method of communication is texting. He has a very hard time talking on the phone which takes some getting used to. Context really gets lost in text messages and it is very frustrating. I have communicated this to him! So, he likes to know where I am at and with who all the time. I am a Sag, BTW. I really don't have a problem telling him as I wouldn't be with someone I knew he wouldn't be comfortable with.
Last night I met with a friend for drinks right after work. I invited him but he had his son. Well, I was in bed by 9pm (rough work week) and he text me asking if I was up on the bar yet. I said, "not tonight". A couple of hours later, he text me asking what I was up to. Well, I was asleep and didn't get it. I woke up around midnight and saw it so I called him. He didn't answer. I told him I was in bed and let's touch base tomorrow. Now, he won't respond to me. I am 100% sure that he thought I was ignoring him because I was out. How do I deal with this? I want him to be confident in our relationship and trust me. It really frustrates me that he doesn't believe me and gets so jealous and possessive.