Should I Contact The Woman That Abused Me? + Plus 'Redpill'

The title was to get y'alls attention, but yes, I was abused. Kinda, sorta... Well.. I'm in my masculine and it's still hard to admit I was physically, emotionally, and sometimes verbally abused.. By a Capricorn woman... It makes me feel like a little bit
21 years old from Chicago soufsidee
The title was to get y'alls attention, but yes, I was abused. Kinda, sorta... Well.. I'm in my masculine and it's still hard to admit I was physically, emotionally, and sometimes verbally abused.. By a Capricorn woman... It makes me feel like a little cookiemonster, but it's not like I didn't defend myself or not hit her back.. So I don't understand much of why I be feeling this way.

So, I just been lovesick and down lately. I feel like I'm not experiencing the love I deserve.. Like that "real love", that young love.. I'm only 21. I wanna feel wanted and desired and be fought for. I want a woman that will alway come back to me, no matter what bullbutter is thrown our way, or the treetrunked up butter I say or do. I just wanna experience someone crazy about me.. Everybody else gets to have that.. I even had to watch the Leo woman I currently love go back to a cheater, yet the cheater did what they are best at and cheated again.. She immediately seeked me and it was nice, we flirted for weeks and eventually treetrunked once again, but how good should you feel when you know you just a backup plan, like a second option or something?? And what ANNOYS me the most is the fact that I'm amazing. She told me I have better sex, and everyone tells me I'm more attractive than her ex and she den told me the same.. So I don't get it.. After our hotel date, I found that her and her ex are back on better terms, that they had squashed it. It annoyed the butter out of me.. So I told her plain, "I don't care about you being cool with your ex, that's ya'll business.. but if we're gonna do this FWB butter, don't be kissing her too.. I'm drama free and I don't want sloppy seconds or herpes." It was just that simple and I meant that butter.. I almost just cut her off, cuz I don't think I can trust my Leo to stay away from her ex and not even kiss them.. I actually did cut off contact for like a day, but she has good kitty and she's not my girlfriend, I didn't wanna look bad or stressed about it, plus it's not even that serious... "She ain't my girl" is what I constantly tell myself. She claims she'll never "touch that" again and that they are not friends.. It just frustrates me and I'm sick of being under the influences of some beautiful woman.. I can't lie to y'all and act like I don't care about her and that I'm just okay with gettin the kitty.. When I know I want what we had again.. But the dating books tell me not to stress a relationship, that all that butter should be HER idea and not mines and the Redpill says to never make an ex girlfriend your mainchick ever again.. Because she will lose respect for you, especially if she dumped you first, which is my case.. It just all hurts me so bad, I don't talk about it to anybody and keep it all inside.. She barely knows how I reallly feel, because I keep it light and joking. Like the books teaches me to be..


I read a lot of MGTOW and Redpill butter and it just makes sense.. You know, basically teaching you to not love these hoes and be a player, don't chase women.. How to get their respect. . I'm good at having game, but I don't wanna be a player.. I wanna love and let a woman know that she got me. Redpill got me scared to show myself.. But then it's like Redpill offers some reward of a beautiful woman loving you for life at the end of the tunnel..

If I knew the dating info I know now and applied that onto my Leo in the begining.. We may still be together and she woulds never went back to a cheater.. I believed that. . Da proof is totally in the pudding - she was closer to me when I disappeared on her from time to time.. I blame myself and she told me not to and that I'm "lovely" and it was her, not me.. She had said this a few days ago after I was "joking" about doing things differently.. I believe her to a degree, but the Redpill in me says I shouldn't and that it really is my fault.. I don't wanna bullbutter myself or allow her to blow butter up my ass. I wanna keep it real wit myself..

If I had the MGTOW knowledge and Redpill awareness I know now, my Capricorn woman woulda never abused me... She abused me because she didn't respect me. The only time I remember her respecting me was when I choked her for almost throwing a Hennessey bottle at my head.. Was when I fought back, but a lot times I didn't.. Because of THAT WOMAN and the Redpill, I firmly believe in hitting women and putting yo foot up these cookiemonsteres ass. Yeh, you gotta slap a chick sometimes to get some respect and minimum backtalk.. I think it's necessary and when I was nice enough to walk away, l lost her respect and love every time. I was 18-19.. She was turning 23.. Somewhat feminine chick, she wore thongs and loved her nipples sucked.

So I because I don't understand why my Leo ex is into her ex.. And I wanted to see why me and my Capricorn woman failed.. I decided to go on Cafeastrology today.. I just looked at me and my Leo ex's compatability review and we had 3 positive aspects, a few challenging aspects, and some negative aspects. In the same time, I added my Leo ex's natal chart and her Libra ex's natal chart to see their compatibility. They had all challenging aspects (which doesn't mean bad), maybe one negative and a few postive.. Bascially better than me and her.. But then Astrotheme.com says me and her score 81% and them together scores 31% .. Was interesting to me. What was true about me and Leo woman relationship according to Cafeastrology was said here:

"182 E.M. Sextile Rebecca Moon - Mercury

Positive aspect: Ideal aspect for a couple, as they will have lots of interests and projects in common, and they will understand each other well. There is a mental rapport that sometimes borders on the telepathic.

"181 E.M. Conjunction Rebecca Moon - Mars

Positive aspect: Great physical passion and, as with every passion of this type, things can get stormy and heated. However, most of the time, the storms are sexy and exciting. Very passionate aspect, as it promises feeling behind the physical act. They desire each other always. The physical relations between the two are enhanced with desire and warmth. Great passion that doesn't fizzle out."
Which is very true for us.

What's true about my Leo ex's old relationship according to Cafeastrology:
194 Cheater Square Old cookiemonster Moon - Venus

Challenging aspect: They are attracted to one another and take pleasure in being together, but conflicts could arise because of suspected unfaithfulness or some basic lack of trust. When one is in a romantic mood, the other is in an intellectual mood. There can be quite a bit of dependency in this relationship, and at times, they may encourage one another's bad habits or indulgences.

But their charts are good I guess

Me and her's too..


I looked at me and ex Capricorn woman, and according to Cafeastrology, we was suppose to be off da chain.. A very good match.. Better than those two together.. And I thought to myself like damn, maybe if I dated her when I was as old as I am now... It coulda been a good thing. I treetrunked it up.. I wasn't Redpill yet..
"211 E.M. Conjunction Lillian Sun - Mars

Positive aspect: Pure sexual attraction can unite the couple. They feel as if they have an ideal partner. They will be energetic, full of life and can undertake things together on a professional level or travel together on adventurous, unpredictable journeys. They respect each other's goals and drives, and don't stand in the way of their attempts to achieve their goals. Their body rhythms match well, and they share a basic physical bond that is hard to break. Energizing.

189 E.M. Conjunction Lillian Sun - Jupiter

Positive aspect: Here is a couple you like to be with. They are charming, agreeable and know how to entertain their friends generously and warmly. They go well together, and love each other in a discrete and sincere way, and appreciate the joys of life together."

There were no negative aspects, just ones that said challenging, and most are positive.. Hard to believe, knowing what I went through with her. . She has contacted me in the past about 3 times and I shut her out.. Cussed her out.. blocked her.. I have a memory block of all the good things, but I know it was present.. We had good sex too..

Should I reach out to her? See if we can go on a date? Or am I just seeming desprate and lonely.. I am completely over her and it doesn't hurt no more... Ain't seen her in years. I think it would be like dating all over again, but actually falling in love this time.. We weren't in love.. I just wanna see if it's as good as it was suppose to be..
21 years old from Chicago soufsidee
Sorry its long. butter.
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.
21 years old from Chicago soufsidee
Posted by edgelord
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.


Hey. You get your ass whooped enough by some broad and walk away and she loses respect and never apologizes, you'd be on my page too. Hitting women was the norm back when our grandma's kitty was still popping. The world has been feminized, not that it's a bad thing.. I would never non-provokingly hit a woman. But if one ever hits me again, I will rock the boat.
O F F L I N E
Posted by Emhendo
Posted by edgelord
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.


Hey. You get your ass whooped enough by some broad and walk away and she loses respect and never apologizes, you'd be on my page too. Hitting women was the norm back when our grandma's kitty was still popping. The world has been feminized, not that it's a bad thing.. I would never non-provokingly hit a woman. But if one ever hits me again, I will rock the boat.
click to expand
why wouldn't you leave the room instead?

you know beating is a mechanical thing. and mechanics has dynamism in it, that has accidents in it, they have death in them.
21 years old from Chicago soufsidee
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by Emhendo
Posted by edgelord
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.


Hey. You get your ass whooped enough by some broad and walk away and she loses respect and never apologizes, you'd be on my page too. Hitting women was the norm back when our grandma's kitty was still popping. The world has been feminized, not that it's a bad thing.. I would never non-provokingly hit a woman. But if one ever hits me again, I will rock the boat.
why wouldn't you leave the room instead?

you know beating is a mechanical thing. and mechanics has dynamism in it, that has accidents in it, they have death in them.
click to expand


I didn't say "beat" anybody. A slap or 2 should make my point.. You are concerned about that, but what about me? I was the actual victim, and I have walked away in the past. A woman will literally ask you "whatcha scared of?" It's some crazy cookiemonsteres out here, man. It's always "the man's" fault and women are so innocent. I'm not a woman-hater and I am not against feminism, but women are no doubt manipulators. Women have manipulated the world into thinking they can do no wrong. It's treetrunked up..
21 years old from Chicago soufsidee
Anybody else?
21 years old from Chicago soufsidee
Posted by xghy
Early 20s is coined "Sex and Philosophy and Loneliness"

To avoid trouble after 25, look 8 years ahead.

Sometimes the crazy desire or passion you feel isn't worth it in the long run. Maybe find an activity that is beneficial to you, where you can pour your heart out.

You find good people when you choose to improve yourself rather than chasing warm bodies.



Thank you. I understood everything you said, and thanks for not judging.
Rip - Jim Lahey.
Keep watching Sandman.
You'll find the answers you're looking for.
Or something.
Marine Sun, Virgin Moon, Centaur Ascendant
If you truly care about someone, you would NEVER put your hands on them in an genuine aggressive manner. That shows lack of respect on YOUR part.

Me and Jed wrestle all the time, he takes me down all the time but we're just fooling around. I would never hit him during moments of intense anger, even if my body really wants to. It's my mind that controls my actions.

Your upbringing means nothing. Physical abuse in any shape or form is a choice, not an inevitability. On the flip side, if your partner is hitting you then he/she obviously does not respect you enough. It's a dealbreaker for me, and it should be for everyone else too.
She was a poem in a world of status updates
In response to the title...no you shouldn't contact your former abuser!!! treetrunk no. They should be dead to you.

You talk about finding love but how can you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself??!

Treat yourself better. Don't contact this pos.
She was a poem in a world of status updates
Posted by edgelord
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.


Op is a woman if I'm not mistaken.

I agree that violence should be a last resort. But if someone attacks you, you should most definitely defend yourself!
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by edgelord
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.


Op is a woman if I'm not mistaken.

I agree that violence should be a last resort. But if someone attacks you, you should most definitely defend yourself!
click to expand


i have an abusive ex. i never once hit her. and she knows that. she tells people i'm her abusive ex though. but it doesn't make me upset. i know what i did and didn't do. and that's all that's important to me.

being the bigger person and having integrity is more important than some one upmanship bullbutter you wanna do because they hit you. once they hit you? you should be gone. gone like the wind.

if you stay it's cuz you have codependency issues. and that you need to work on. you shouldn't let ANYONE treat you that way.
Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
If you truly care about someone, you would NEVER put your hands on them in an genuine aggressive manner. That shows lack of respect on YOUR part.

Me and Jed wrestle all the time, he takes me down all the time but we're just fooling around. I would never hit him during moments of intense anger, even if my body really wants to. It's my mind that controls my actions.

Your upbringing means nothing. Physical abuse in any shape or form is a choice, not an inevitability. On the flip side, if your partner is hitting you then he/she obviously does not respect you enough. It's a dealbreaker for me, and it should be for everyone else too.


Upbringing is very significant.....people who were neglected or abused as a child more often than not carry these wounds into adulthood. There are a very small minority who have the strength to heal, but most don't

O F F L I N E
Posted by Emhendo
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by Emhendo
Posted by edgelord
i read it. even the part where you said you should hit women. that's why i'm not helping you btw.


Hey. You get your ass whooped enough by some broad and walk away and she loses respect and never apologizes, you'd be on my page too. Hitting women was the norm back when our grandma's kitty was still popping. The world has been feminized, not that it's a bad thing.. I would never non-provokingly hit a woman. But if one ever hits me again, I will rock the boat.
why wouldn't you leave the room instead?

you know beating is a mechanical thing. and mechanics has dynamism in it, that has accidents in it, they have death in them.


I didn't say "beat" anybody. A slap or 2 should make my point.. You are concerned about that, but what about me? I was the actual ...
click to expand
nop, I was not here for a socio-political disussion. I just said, you have the choice to change the situation.

But if you like to see it as a bigger phenomena: Even in the big wars of the world there's a tactic to "fully back out of the scope of the Competition Act. " That is if you want to save anything. Stupid management and profiting from war crisis make wars happen. Intelligent management and willingness to save what you already have makes you avoid war at all cost. Isn't Switzerland an example? There are more examples in the history where even bigger war makers understood to stay out of it for once.
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