Posted by xXxAliciaXxXI have Venus and Moon in Cancer, so I think I terrify my Venus Gemi and Moon Sagitarrius- Cancer guy. I think for the first time ever he's found someone that loves deeper than he does and it's just too much for his little crabbie feelers lol...
My first love was a cancer and he never pushed me away. As a matter of fact, I think I was the one who pushed away at times. He brought that to my attention too and he actually helped me be a better person in the long run. They're not all bad.
Posted by dorieIs this really a problem? Doesn't sound typical, they are very very loving souls.
Can someone tell me also why are so many cancer husbands beating their wives?
Posted by GemiGirl78Then i guess its mostly from what i experienced and saw. Because i kind of want to have hope in them again. I know cancer girls are very very loving souls, but the guys. This comment before me kind of explained what some cancer men expect of their girlfriends, so it explained to me something i never noticed before.Posted by dorieIs this really a problem? Doesn't sound typical, they are very very loving souls.
Can someone tell me also why are so many cancer husbands beating their wives?click to expand
Posted by rakacThis is very helpful advice,
All cancers love,but they need to be reminded that you love them,i love so much i would give up almost everything for the ones i love...he might be in doubt that you love him or somth,don't know,or maybe he's just depressed,help him improve,give him a gift,like a self improvement book or psychology book,he would be greatful and might learn something,he might not know himself thats why me might be the way he is,the more you understand yourself the more ,the more i learn about myself the more im able to improve myself and confront my fears and shit
Posted by rakacHe just seems to want the love, but then pulls back and says that taking the risk on us might ruin everything if it goes sour and he's not willing to lose everything he has with me... It's crazy talk. So I make you so happy that you are unwilling to risk the possibility of me loving you more?! Sometimes I wonder what is going through his mind... He says its him, not me, that any guy would be lucky to have me. So, does he not think he is worthy of me? Does he not want to be this lucky guy? And why is loving your best friend and quite possibly soul mate such a big risk. Is he so horrible at relationships? ... He's constantly expressing his fears that one day I'll tire of him and kick him to the curb. I love him too much to ever tire of him, but I will admit that my heart hurts all the time when he doesn't answer my needs.
All cancers love,but they need to be reminded that you love them,i love so much i would give up almost everything for the ones i love...he might be in doubt that you love him or somth,don't know,or maybe he's just depressed,help him improve,give him a gift,like a self improvement book or psychology book,he would be greatful and might learn something,he might not know himself thats why me might be the way he is,the more you understand yourself the more ,the more i learn about myself the more im able to improve myself and confront my fears and shit
Posted by FutureSeekerMine is a teddy bear too!! 🙂
My cancer has Virgo ascendant- and I think this placement is impacting how he comes across, that he doesn't care as much about me, is not as emotional, can be critical. When I express to him my needs, then I can see the nurturing, big teddy bear.
Posted by GemiGirl78Might be hard time in his life,he might be afraid to talk about it with you because he might not want to look so broken in front of you,all he says is sincere,sometimes we love so much,and if we see we make person feel sad or depressed,we start feeling bad,because we love you so much and seing that we dont make you happy might make us feel not worthy of you,we're so emotional,might be his own insecurities,the thing is,you might not tell him that he makes you sad,but we cancers read bodytalk ,we weel how a person feels,and thats why he might feel bad,because he can't satify your needs,he might not know himself well enough to work thru these bad stages of moodyness,if he would understand himself more ,he would try to work thru this or be aware of this so he knows whats happening,in my own case,i know i would risk almost everything for a person i love,i had an eperience a while back,lost my job,traveled half the world for the person i love,even the result was bad,and i broke like a glass,i realised how much i could sacrifice for love,we are cancer and we could sacrifice everything for people we love,just sometimes we tend to overthink things,teach him to be positive,teach him to be greateful for what he has now,not to be sad for what he doesn't have,get him some positive thoughts book:for example the key of living the law of attraction ,its about how your thougPosted by rakacHe just seems to want the love, but then pulls back and says that taking the risk on us might ruin everything if it goes sour and he's not willing to lose everything he has with me... It's crazy talk. So I make you so happy that you are unwilling to risk the possibility of me loving you more?! Sometimes I wonder what is going through his mind... He says its him, not me, that any guy would be lucky to have me. So, does he not think he is worthy of me? Does he not want to be this lucky guy? And why is loving your best friend and quite possibly soul mate such a big risk. Is he so horrible at relationships? ... He's constantly expressing his fears that one day I'll tire of him and kick him to the curb. I love him too much to ever tire of him, but I will admit that my heart hurts all the time when he doesn't answer my needs.
All cancers love,but they need to be reminded that you love them,i love so much i would give up almost everything for the ones i love...he might be in doubt that you love him or somth,don't know,or maybe he's just depressed,help him improve,give him a gift,like a self improvement book or psychology book,he would be greatful and might learn something,he might not know himself thats why me might be the way he is,the more you understand yourself the more ,the more i learn about myself the more im able to improve myself and confront my fears and shitclick to expand
Posted by FutureSeekerI swear this is hilarious. I also do the same for mine and he keeps them all together. I have an ongoing theme with them too, because I read up on how cancers seem to hoard these little trinkets. I think he has never been loved by anyone in the manner that I love him. He has abandonment issues from both mom & dad and even the ex that gave him their only child. He's the best dad ever, apart from my own, and has raised his son basically on his own. I admire everything about him, I'm so much in love with him. I have never been married and have no kids so sometimes I think that he believes that being with me would be like ruining my life cause all he ever tells me is how I deserve everything in life. Sadly enough, to me, he is everything in life. Because I love him just that much and so much more. I just don't know how to make him realize that I get so much more from loving him then I could from this non-complicated life that he thinks I deserve. He wants the world for me, but I just want him.Posted by GemiGirl78I am starting to get used to the moods- and I'm not taking them personal. Sometimes I leave him little notes in odd places like in his boot, or under his toothbrush that say "I love you more and more each day" or "you are my handsome, sexy man". He doesn't say much about them besides "thank you" but I know they mean something to him because he keeps them all together. Yesterday he put the one I left on the bathroom mirror 🙂Posted by FutureSeekerMine is a teddy bear too!! 🙂
My cancer has Virgo ascendant- and I think this placement is impacting how he comes across, that he doesn't care as much about me, is not as emotional, can be critical. When I express to him my needs, then I can see the nurturing, big teddy bear.
Oh I love this man.click to expand
Posted by GemiGirl78The Cancerian mind will rephrase this question to: "Does anyone know how to truly love a Cancer?"
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?
Posted by CrabraLol... Love it! The Cancerian mind... That should be its own on-going topic hahaPosted by GemiGirl78The Cancerian mind will rephrase this question to: "Does anyone know how to truly love a Cancer?"
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?click to expand
Posted by rakacDone and done.. He says we're going to talk when I'm not so "emotional" lol... He kills me! So now I'm giving him the weekend to "figure out his butter" lol... I love my little crabbie
@GemiGirl78 be open with him as you are open on this forum,he values honesty,tell him that he's your world and you love him so much,and it's hard for you to see him sad,say you feel like you're not making him happy when you see him sad or depressed,talk with him,ask whats going on,speak with heart rather than logic and other things that are easy to explain ,he might open up like he never did before
Posted by FutureSeeker(see nextPosted by GemiGirl78We have very similar relationships.Posted by FutureSeekerI swear this is hilarious. I also do the same for mine and he keeps them all together. I have an ongoing theme with them too, because I read up on how cancers seem to hoard these little trinkets. I think he has never been loved by anyone in the manner that I love him. He has abandonment issues from both mom & dad and even the ex that gave him their only child. He's the best dad ever, apart from my own, and has raised his son basically on his own. I admire everything about him, I'm so much in love with him. I have never been married and have no kids so sometimes I think that he believes that being with me would be like ruining my life cause all he ever tells me is how I deserve everything in life. Sadly enough, to me, he is everything in life. Because I love him just that much and so much more. I just don't know how to make him realize that I get so much more from loving him then I could from this non-complicated life that he thinks I deserve. He wants the world for me, but I just want him.Posted by GemiGirl78I am starting to get used to the moods- and I'm not taking them personal. Sometimes I leave him little notes in odd places like in his boot, or under his toothbrush that say "I love you more and more each day" or "you are my handsome, sexy man". He doesn't say much about them besides "thank you" but I know they mean something to him because he keeps them all together. Yesterday he put the one I left on the bathroom mirror 🙂Posted by FutureSeekerMine is a teddy bear too!! 🙂
My cancer has Virgo ascendant- and I think this placement is impacting how he comes across, that he doesn't care as much about me, is not as emotional, can be critical. When I express to him my needs, then I can see the nurturing, big teddy bear.
Oh I love this man.
So when we first met we made this "bet" which is now an inside joke- who can outlast who in the relationship. Basically- who can stay in it through everything no matter what. We got real silly with it, joking around that one of us will be 95 and die, the other at the funeral will say "I WON!!!!!!! I WON the bet! Hahahaha"! I think the thing is, he doesn't believe that someone will stay with him no matter what. I had read a post from one of the wise Cancer's here that sticking by him, and basically the attitude of "you can't scare me, I'm not going anywhere" goes a long way.click to expand
Posted by DarlingSo, how do you make someone feel loved and wanted as a cancer?
It gets very tired...its always gonna be a constant struggle...give up or give him the benefit of the doubt...u just gotta be honest with urself but as a cancer I will tell u this . my biggest thing is emotions and feelings and I always make a point to not to make someone feel unwanted...unless I really don't care about them so that is something to think about
Posted by GemiGirl78My cancer man started off that way. Was so annoying. It took a bit over a year before he began to completely trust in me and show much affectionate. Now, I've never felt more needed in my life...and i have kids! Lol. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. He's always the first to say I love you, always want me to go to bed when he does, always want me to go outside with him when he smokes a cig.... It amazes me how he went from being a dick, to my baby. I just want to baby him, protect him, love him forever!
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?
Posted by ariesheartMine has been at baby stage for months. I've known him 7 mo now, but we just can't get out of the friend-zone. He values my friendship so much that he's terrified to move into girlfriend/boyfriend mode and do something stupid that will ruin how awesome we are together. It's driving me batty!Posted by GemiGirl78My cancer man started off that way. Was so annoying. It took a bit over a year before he began to completely trust in me and show much affectionate. Now, I've never felt more needed in my life...and i have kids! Lol. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. He's always the first to say I love you, always want me to go to bed when he does, always want me to go outside with him when he smokes a cig.... It amazes me how he went from being a dick, to my baby. I just want to baby him, protect him, love him forever!
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?click to expand
Posted by canminiSo what does it take to make the fear disappear?
yes Cancer can love deeply, but they have been hurt so much that they learn to cover up with a shell, that shell will appear like a mean, angry cold face but deep down there is love waiting to come out but can't due to fear of being hurt again
Posted by GemiGirl78Has he been badly hurt before? For us, he asked me out right away. But I almost damaged it because I broke up with him 3 times because of the baby stage. He then just wanted to be friends, but we still acted as if we were dating. It took a while for me to regain his trust. I was surprised he kept coming back.Posted by ariesheartMine has been at baby stage for months. I've known him 7 mo now, but we just can't get out of the friend-zone. He values my friendship so much that he's terrified to move into girlfriend/boyfriend mode and do something stupid that will ruin how awesome we are together. It's driving me batty!Posted by GemiGirl78My cancer man started off that way. Was so annoying. It took a bit over a year before he began to completely trust in me and show much affectionate. Now, I've never felt more needed in my life...and i have kids! Lol. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. He's always the first to say I love you, always want me to go to bed when he does, always want me to go outside with him when he smokes a cig.... It amazes me how he went from being a dick, to my baby. I just want to baby him, protect him, love him forever!
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?click to expand
Posted by aquarius09
What is up with all these "I put my kiddy gloves on to deal with my fragile cancer man" stories? I tread carefully or I have curbed my personality to cater to him.
Maybe this is why I have a good opinion of cancer men this far: because I've always kept them in the friendzone.
Ironically, women are saying the exact same thing about them on sasstrology.com. They're all essentially saying the same thing that they had to change who they were to deal with their cancer man and the women who broke up with them sounded very annoyed by them.
Screw this shit! Whatever happened to BOTH parties compromising? It seems like that the women have adopted themselves a mental ill child that they cater to out of sympathy. Pfft.
Posted by rabidtalkerRabidtalker, the name seems to state that there will more forthcoming correct? I wish you would expand on this... Two-faced and duplicitous people are his one spiteful comment always. I may be Gemini, Queen of masks very Game of Thrones (for anyone familiar) lol.. But with him all my feelings are genuine. I truly truly love him.
actions must match words, if they dont (hence the hypocrite term) then it will be obvious.
Posted by CocoKatThis is true but sometimes it's not so easy. I've known mine a while and he knows from past conversations when I didn't view him romantically that I want kids (he doesn't), that I don't want to adopt or raise anyone else's kid cause I'm a single gal with no prior marriages (he has a crazy ex and a special needs child that lives with him); so bringing me into the equation probably seems to him like just messy and he has told me more than once that I don't comprehend what I'm trying to get myself into by being with him; that I'm better off single or with someone else. Sometimes loving someone is sending them away, for their own sake and just keeping their love without all the complications. Plus you add on all his own childhood drama and abandonment issues; my little cancer is quite the mess. @FutureSeeker - also what are your thoughts.
If they are "feeling" you they work to make you their lady happy without a scorecard or excuses.
Posted by bitter_lemonThe insensitive and inconsiderate (I will agree at times), I think it has something to do with their being a spoiled baby child man. When I call mine out, it's like a mom disciplining a child; then I get the backlash of tantrum and/or crabby silent treatment for telling him how what he did was wrong and in my opinion, thoughtless. They are something else. They punish you back for being upset at them so like that the next time you just let them get away with it because the backlash was so strong. -Now I still voice my disappointment but I don't nag or make a huge deal about it. I just say something like :when you did xyz that was very upsetting and it hurt my feelings
ALMOST all cancer women i know (and i know 10+ of them) are very loving,loyal and would die for their love.
ON the other hand, all cancer men i know, are more or less HORRIFIC . They tend to flirt a lot and arent very commited. They are somehow insensitive and inconsiderate. I dont know why. It could be part of other placements .. moon signs?, but you may have a point here.
Posted by GemiGirl78yes you are right. I have noticed the "i will punish you if you criticize me" attitude even in myself, its a horrible trait. Your describtion of them is very accurate,tooPosted by bitter_lemonThe insensitive and inconsiderate (I will agree at times), I think it has something to do with their being a spoiled baby child man. When I call mine out, it's like a mom disciplining a child; then I get the backlash of tantrum and/or crabby silent treatment for telling him how what he did was wrong and in my opinion, thoughtless. They are something else. They punish you back for being upset at them so like that the next time you just let them get away with it because the backlash was so strong. -Now I still voice my disappointment but I don't nag or make a huge deal about it. I just say something like :when you did xyz that was very upsetting and it hurt my feelings
ALMOST all cancer women i know (and i know 10+ of them) are very loving,loyal and would die for their love.
ON the other hand, all cancer men i know, are more or less HORRIFIC . They tend to flirt a lot and arent very commited. They are somehow insensitive and inconsiderate. I dont know why. It could be part of other placements .. moon signs?, but you may have a point here.click to expand
Posted by bitter_lemonAre you cancer male or female?
ALMOST all cancer women i know (and i know 10+ of them) are very loving,loyal and would die for their love.
ON the other hand, all cancer men i know, are more or less HORRIFIC . They tend to flirt a lot and arent very commited. They are somehow insensitive and inconsiderate. I dont know why. It could be part of other placements .. moon signs?, but you may have a point here.
Posted by aquarius09I agree 100!
What is up with all these "I put my kiddy gloves on to deal with my fragile cancer man" stories? I tread carefully or I have curbed my personality to cater to him.
Maybe this is why I have a good opinion of cancer men this far: because I've always kept them in the friendzone.
Ironically, women are saying the exact same thing about them on sasstrology.com. They're all essentially saying the same thing that they had to change who they were to deal with their cancer man and the women who broke lup with them sounded very annoyed by them.
Screw this shit! Whatever happened to BOTH parties compromising? It seems like that the women have adopted themselves a mental ill child that they cater to out of sympathy. Pfft.
Posted by Arielle83This would make sense in a world where your kind of Cancer - would be like Nirvana... and once someone is worthy of your goodly love - it's all sunshine and rainbows from there on... Though, if we're to be real... at the end of the day - you're human too... you have your flaws (big ones - maybe) - you have your demons. I'm saying this, because i know some Cancer girls - who had some serious issues - as far as their character goes (controlling, manipulative, demanding - in immature ways... quite abusive on a emotional level - to say the least), yet they expect you to accept them for whom they are - "unconditionally" - while in the same time - they have huge expectations from the other party... That type of hypocrisy - where an unstable person is looking for Mr. Right. Probably the biggest irony (though, it makes a lot of sense), the shit they couldn't accept about themselves (their biggest flaws) - it's what would set them off - even if they'd notice that in the slightest way - in their partner or others...Posted by GemiGirl78Cancers have a lot of love to give which is why there is a push and pull.
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?
You haven't satisfied his protective shell enough to fully let you in.
It can take years. We watch your movements, words, and attitude. If we deem you a hypocrite, you're back at the end of the line until you redeem.
click to expand
Posted by nevesPosted by Arielle83This would make sense in a world where your kind of Cancer - would be like Nirvana... and once someone is worthy of your goodly love - it's all sunshine and rainbows from there on... Though, if we're to be real... at the end of the day - you're human too... you have your flaws (big ones - maybe) - you have your demons. I'm saying this, because i know some Cancer girls - who had some serious issues - as far as their character goes (controlling, manipulative, demanding - in immature ways... quite abusive on a emotional level - to say the least), yet they expect you to accept them for whom they are - "unconditionally" - while in the same time - they have huge expectations from the other party... That type of hypocrisy - where an unstable person is looking for Mr. Right. Probably the biggest irony (though, it makes a lot of sense), the shit they couldn't accept about themselves (their biggest flaws) - it's what would set them off - even if they'd notice that in the slightest way - in their partner or others...Posted by GemiGirl78Cancers have a lot of love to give which is why there is a push and pull.
Sometimes I'm left wondering if Cancer men even know how to love someone right? Between the pull/push, the walls, mixed signals, and then the never let you go possessiveness but won't commit selfishness.... What is that EVEN? Cause none of it feels like Love. I wish someone would clue me in as to what they're thinking?
You haven't satisfied his protective shell enough to fully let you in.
It can take years. We watch your movements, words, and attitude. If we deem you a hypocrite, you're back at the end of the line until you redeem.
click to expand
I have a Cancer ASC - and i can relate with defensive measure - when it comes to - letting others inside. Though, i know who i am - and i have the same expectation from the other party (to be aware of who she/he is). We all have a dark side (our demons) - and if i can accept that about myself - if i can acknowledge my own darkness - while the other party is in denial... i'd be forced to struggle with both demons (he own as well - which she won't even see - while being so unconscious) - and even my own would turn against me (if i'm constantly harming myself - for the sake of the other party). Which in turn could translate to both physical and mental/emotional illness (as defined by negative states like - depression) - for me... while my partner - could go on doing her thing - blaming the world for her issues for her pain... simply - because she's not whiling to accept her darkness. Not consciously - at least... on a active level (so you can take control)
Posted by CocoKatI couldn't agree more with this!!
Lastly, the more a Cancer likes you the lower his expectations.. .it seems they get very sensitive or "cant be in a relationship because I was hurt" or "I only feel safe if you prove yourself by by catering to my preferences" excuses come out with the ladies they are not 100% into.
Posted by CocoKatThe women on this board are desperate and turn into Pepe le pew. Constant "take me" "take me" isnt even enough for the guy to wanna take them. That should tell them of the guy's absolute disinterest, but nooooo.
Sorry I don't know what happened there.
Great first paragraph, you are right on!
Unfortunately these boards are filled with ladies like this, they don't ever seem to get it either. How hard is it to develop an EQ?
Sorry for getting off topic here, just some venting...
Posted by aquarius09Yup.Posted by CocoKatThe women on this board are desperate and turn into Pepe le pew. Constant "take me" "take me" isnt even enough for the guy to wanna take them. That should tell them of the guy's absolute disinterest, but nooooo.
Sorry I don't know what happened there.
Great first paragraph, you are right on!
Unfortunately these boards are filled with ladies like this, they don't ever seem to get it either. How hard is it to develop an EQ?
Sorry for getting off topic here, just some venting...
click to expand
Posted by CocoKat+1000. Such is the life of DXP women. I don't know if it's a sense of entitlement that the guy should like them as much as they like them or if it's straight denial or delusion. Can't say, but NO guy, not even the biggest philanthropist, who is into a woman, advises her to go seek love elsewhere or "I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into".Posted by aquarius09Yup.Posted by CocoKatThe women on this board are desperate and turn into Pepe le pew. Constant "take me" "take me" isnt even enough for the guy to wanna take them. That should tell them of the guy's absolute disinterest, but nooooo.
Sorry I don't know what happened there.
Great first paragraph, you are right on!
Unfortunately these boards are filled with ladies like this, they don't ever seem to get it either. How hard is it to develop an EQ?
Sorry for getting off topic here, just some venting...
Whats worse is that there are women on this board who cannot tell the difference between their emotions and the other persons.. They think that if they have strong feelings the dude then has them too, despite how badly they are being treated and ignored, sometimes with very obvious game, yet there is that feeling of entitlement. Guys don't play hard to get or disappear for long if they are into you, are you disappearing on the dude you like? duh.click to expand
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